Your healing has begun.

You will begin to heal when you start to let go of regrets, forgive those who have hurt you and learn to forgive yourself. With time and courage you will be able to tell your story without pain in your heart, ache in your soul and without tears flowing down your cheek. That is when you know your healing has begun.
~Brigitte Nicole

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  1. For many, healing begins, not when the tears end, but rather, when they begin. For so very many of us, who have been busy repressing, suppressing, and denying our pain, the advent of tears is the advent of an emotional willingness to confront our pain, our losses, our abuse, our lifetime of agony. For us, we learned early and young that it was too dangerous to allow emotions of vulnerability, be they anger or sadness, fear, or rage, loneliness or overwhelm, happiness or pleasure, safety or joy. We learned our feelings could not or would not be accepted, and we learned to keep our voices silent, even within our own minds. We might have been stellar students, yet dealing with severe anxiety and depression, and no one knew but us. We might have come from obviously dysfunctional families, or families that looked from the outside that everything was in order, and happy. Either way, we suffered in silence. For those of us who learned it was not safe to share or even have feelings, the very advent of tears with our first safe other, is a relief, no matter the pain, for we are finally with a soul who accepts and allows the tears, the anger, the drowning cacophany of emotions that were kept within for a lifetime. This too is the beginning of healing. Those of us who have learned the blessings of tears in this manner, will never give in to those who insist we are unhealed or un-healing if we continue to grieve everyday realities that lead us into uncovering more of our repressed emotions, and the life events that had to be repressed to the extreme. We ARE healing. For some of us this journey may last a lifetime, but we are aware we are warriors for the cause. And the cause is the ongoing journey of growth, awareness, life to the full, and and outreach to others in pain. Never question your healing. Rather, question those who want to deny you that opportunity, by refusing to hear your story. Blessings to all. R.H.

    1. Very true and beautifully written response! Healing begins a long time before the tears stop flowing, especially for those of us whose wounds were very deep from years of inflicted pain. For those like me who are heavily scarred, it has been and will continue to be a lifelong journey even after years of counseling, self-help books, rebirthing, and other such ways I have done to progress my healing. Those things, too, are a part of my story; all of which have made me the person I am today. I am happy to be me and am proud of all I have accomplished. Still I know that those who do not know my story think that I am odd, different, unnecessarily anxious, too private, and difficult to relate to. But that’s OK for now. I am still very much a work-in-progress — a late bloomer so to speak. I expect that I’ll always be growing and evolving as a person. Perhaps if everyone else, not just us wounded souls, put as much effort in, as we do, to improve the person they are that our world would become a kinder, more caring and supportive place to live.

  2. Thank you CaringSoul. I dont think I have ever read a more true statement. You understand were many do not and that is a blessing. Thank you again, and God bless you.

  3. if there ever was a New Years creed this would be it. !!! I’m going to pass this on to all that I know. Thank you for making this so clear.
    God is blessing you second by second

  4. Dear CaringSoul,
    Thank you for sharing your beautifully written words.
    I totally agree with you. In my quote, I write, “With time and courage you will be able to tell your story without pain in your heart, ache in your soul and without tears flowing down your cheek” conveying that tears were present at the beginning of the healing.
    Denying and suppressing for so long, my heart finally wept and like a spring’s thaw, my tears began to flow.
    It’s been 14 years and there are still a lot more tears to come and yet I know I am healing.

  5. Thank you to all those who thanked me for my words, and you are all most sincerely welcome. I just recently found your website, Brigitte and others?, and have been gladly reading, and finding so much truth in every post, including this one. At the same time, I have often felt I have much to contribute as well, and took this occasion to reply. I think far too often we want to approaching healing as if it has an end-point, rather than as a process that continues; for the more we grow, the more we find we have more growth ahead of us. Vulnerability to our failings and mistakes, our sorrows and our joys means we are truly alive, rather than just treading water in survival mode. So we continue to grow. We continue to heal. I have found that all of those who journey as such, no matter our spiritual beliefs or religion, have so very much in common, as we have found a universal human truth. Healing begets healing; vulnerability challenges us to increasing vulnerability and a decrease in the fear that holds us hostage to so very much. I hope all of us will continue to shed tears; over time the tears contain as much, or more, gratitude and joy, than they do sorrow or pain. We may even choose to allow pain/get hurt more often in the service of ongoing life and healing, for others, ourselves or both, yet there is no damage to these kind of tears, for they are truly chosen, and not wounding, but instead speak to us forever about the truth of our healing and the importance of continuing to help others out of the agony . . .Yes, Raz, all of us human beings are truly in need of healing. All of us are wounded, some far more than others for certain, yet I have yet to meet a human being whose growth is not challenged or interrupted by various life events/situations. We that have been wounded so seriously as to embark on this journey truly know our wounds as well as the healing that we have embraced; that is why we have so very much to offer others. Blessings to all!! R.H.

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