It took me over 2 years to come to the conclusion that I needed to walk away from a man who in fact did not choose me 100%. I knew perhaps at the start that it would not manifest into what I wanted and also I needed to ask myself if I truly wanted what I thought I wanted. But eventually I realized that it was not going anywhere and I was unhappy with what was going down. So although it hurt and I still hurt I chose to walk away.
Sadly he passed away shortly afterward, that in fact bothers me more than walking away, it is the fact that he no longer is around and I feel totally lost and feel like a part of me has disappeared with his death.
Imagine spending 13 years with your first love and the father of your two children only to find out that drugs meant more to home then his marriage and children.
Then you ask God what to do, because you’ve given it your all, and He tells you to relocate to St. Louis, where you meet someone who treats you like you deserve until he decides you don’t have all the “fixings” after 24 years. The marriage should have ended 16 years ago after the 2nd Infidelity. I actually thought that staying was best for my children and I threw myself into a BA, MBA, MA, LPC.
Now 24 years later and loving me more than any man, I’ll focus on what God has been preparing me for.
I though he was my true love, so many times I had chosen the wrong one before, but just a few days after moving in together and being so sure he was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with it happened, he began his abusive behavior towards me. It took me a year to finally walk out and give months after our break up I am still loving this man. I am working so hard to try to understand why I always attract this type of person. I am taking this time to learn why this is so cycle in my life constantly.
Head is held high sometimes you just don’t want to walk away anyway…
It took me over 2 years to come to the conclusion that I needed to walk away from a man who in fact did not choose me 100%. I knew perhaps at the start that it would not manifest into what I wanted and also I needed to ask myself if I truly wanted what I thought I wanted. But eventually I realized that it was not going anywhere and I was unhappy with what was going down. So although it hurt and I still hurt I chose to walk away.
Sadly he passed away shortly afterward, that in fact bothers me more than walking away, it is the fact that he no longer is around and I feel totally lost and feel like a part of me has disappeared with his death.
Imagine spending 13 years with your first love and the father of your two children only to find out that drugs meant more to home then his marriage and children.
Then you ask God what to do, because you’ve given it your all, and He tells you to relocate to St. Louis, where you meet someone who treats you like you deserve until he decides you don’t have all the “fixings” after 24 years. The marriage should have ended 16 years ago after the 2nd Infidelity. I actually thought that staying was best for my children and I threw myself into a BA, MBA, MA, LPC.
Now 24 years later and loving me more than any man, I’ll focus on what God has been preparing me for.
I hope want my latter days to be my better days!
I though he was my true love, so many times I had chosen the wrong one before, but just a few days after moving in together and being so sure he was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with it happened, he began his abusive behavior towards me. It took me a year to finally walk out and give months after our break up I am still loving this man. I am working so hard to try to understand why I always attract this type of person. I am taking this time to learn why this is so cycle in my life constantly.