To encourage you to keep going.
To remind you to be strong.

Published on August 6, 2018 in Picture Quotes
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WHEN I CHOSE TO LET YOU GO.

When I chose to let you go, there was no great moment of triumph.
There wasn’t an earth-shattering epiphany that changed my life, where music played and the universe conspired to bring everything together for good.

There was no conflict, no turmoil and no struggle. No internal argument. No weighing of pros and cons. No decision to be analyzed to death—even by me, who cannot make a decision without weeks of obsessive thought over every possible outcome.

There were only two words, when I chose to let you go:

No more.

No more will I measure my worth against your opinion. No more will I be pressed into the shapes you carved for me. No more will I tell my heart to quiet down, ashamed of its clatter. No more will there be blood on my feet from the eggshells I walked on as I tried not to give cause for your disapproval.

No more will I anguish over the ways you misunderstood me. No more will I fight to justify the intention of my heart. No more will I beg for you to see me, the real me—to know me, to love me.

No more will I live my life for you.

When I chose to let you go, there was no holy encounter. The stars did not collapse from the sky and cascade into the oceans. There was no ferocious wind that rattled the walls or blazing fire that consumed all within its destructive path.

There was only quiet resolution, the silent death of leaves that drift to the ground as frost begins to waste them away.
And there I found myself, in the barren ground where you once stood; I came to understand there must be winter.

Winter in all its loss, its grief, its letting go.
There must be a time for old things to die, that new things may be born.

When I chose to let you go, it was for me.

I learned to love myself even when you made me feel I deserved no love. To honor my own needs, my own heart and my own potential. To walk my own path, not yours. To not be pulled back into your confines while my spirit yearned to be free.

When I chose to let you go, I made coffee, ate toast, and folded clothes. I went to yoga and collected my mail and paid my bills. There was nothing out of place on the outside of my ordinary life—no visible change, nothing new or different.

There was only surrender.

One moment.

One breath.

I chose to let you go.

And in doing so, I chose me.

By Kathy Parker
(with permission)

Please check out Kathy’s blog at : https://kathyparker.com.au/

7 Comments

  1. Seema Zahid August 6, 2018 Reply

    Its heart touching

  2. Mary Michaels August 7, 2018 Reply

    I just recently did the same;let go to choose me. My wit, sillyness, my heart and self worth. 25 years; I breathe, laugh, cry, struggle; I can and now will be me.
    I feel again; kindness, love, and the unpleasantness of what i had to accomplish to be here, loving myself again; like you could not…
    I am moved by what i just read-enough to share my heart as well.

  3. Ritah bonjamin August 7, 2018 Reply

    Yeah I’ve let go too and feel great for making a choice lyk this in my life…I’d rather be single but happy than being in love and sad, maybe one day God will give me someone else I’ll love and he too luvs me bk

  4. Carmen November 13, 2018 Reply

    I let him go, but I discovered just weeks after, I’m pregnant with his child… I would love to have another child, but not his! If I keep the child, he will lurk in the background all my life and this is not ‘letting go’. Now, that is a conundrum!

  5. Vivian Kirim November 13, 2018 Reply

    So beautifully said….

  6. BEVERLY November 14, 2018 Reply

    I KNOW WHAT THESE WOMEN HAVE GONE THROUGH AND IT IS HEARTBREAKING TO LOVE AND NOT BE LOVED. BLESS ALL WHO HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS AND CONGRATULATIONS TO A GOOD LIFE AHEAD FOR YOU!

  7. todd hamin November 15, 2018 Reply

    nice

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