What It Means To Love The Girl With The Guarded Heart.

There is nothing simple about loving the girl with the guarded heart.


She is not convinced by flowers and fancy dinners, nor won over by compliments and praise. In the beginning she is a slow dance, one step toward you, another step back, as she learns to trust the ways of your heart and the strength of your arms. The dance may be slow but it cannot be rushed, for she will sense the impatience of your steps and the way they fall out of time with hers. Dance with her. Follow the measure of her steps and in time, she will soon look to follow yours.
She will not show you her heart all at once, instead offer you a little at a time, unhurried and watchful of the way you hold each fragile piece. She longs for you to understand how much it takes her to show you these pieces; for you to trace your fingers over the scars left behind from others, to feel the whisper of your breath against her neck as you promise to hold her heart with more care than those who came before. There are parts of her heart that remain unreachable, parts she has buried under layers she will never reveal. Love these parts of her, the parts unseen, the shadows of her soul. For even the sky knows without darkness, the stars cannot adorn us with their light.
She will watch you closer than you realise, listen to every word you speak and weigh it against every action, searching for inconsistencies, seeking the truth of your word and the intention of your heart. Not because she can’t trust you, but because she is cautious, alert, wary; the stories of her past still etched upon her mind. She isn’t ready to trust her heart with you. Not yet. Not until she knows you are a man of your word, a man of steadfast hands and unchanging ways.
There is a part of her that will always remain a little detached, ready to run if she thinks her heart will get damaged again. She no longer believes in second chances, having used all of them on those undeserving of such grace. To hurt her means to lose her, for she would sooner be alone than risk losing the life she has fought so damn hard to rebuild with her own wearied hands. She isn’t there because she needs you. She doesn’t need anyone. She’s there because she has chosen you, because she wants you, because she believes you are worth the risk. And all she asks is for you not to prove her wrong in the chance she has taken, for it has cost her more than you know.
She will need more reassurance than most, she will need you to stay present, available, mindful of her scars. She will think too much, talk too little, cry too often, ask too many questions, struggle to rest in your love. She is complex. Complicated. Perplexing. Sometimes difficult.
But beyond her guarded heart lies a soul that contains the wonders of the universe. One that longs to live and love with abandon, that desires connection and intimacy and to be in relationship with someone who sees both her beauty and her scars, and knows how to fall in love with both.
She holds within her a fierce spirit; brave, strong, courageous, unrelenting; yet is also the quiet and the calm, a place to take shelter against the fury of the wind on storm-filled days. She is nurture, she is passion. She is a touch of madness against ordinary skies, a vulnerable heart with a fearless soul, a barefoot warrior who follows no trails but sets her own path.
She is grounded in her truth, accepting of her flaws, far from perfect but closer to real than most. She is wildflowers and ocean currents and meadows that dance upon the breath of summer winds, uncontained in earthly beauty and free in spiritual grace.
Broken, she knows what it means to suffer. But out of the depths of her suffering, she has come to understand love. And her guarded heart waits for the one who understands it too.
No, there may be nothing simple about loving the girl with the guarded heart.
But every day you choose to love her, she’ll prove to you why she’s worth it.

Written by Kathy Parker.

(With permission)

Please check out Kathy’s blog at : https://kathyparker.com.au/

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  1. what a wonderful description! I love this post. The girl with the guarded heart seems to be the most lovable person on earth. She is honest. She wants to love wholeheartedly. She wants to be loved wholeheartedly . She is critical compared to her faults. And she tries to overcome the pain of the past. It is good, that there are parts of her heart that remain unreachable, parts she has buried under layers she will never reveal. She has the right to protect herself and to try to forget some parts.
    I love this girl and ask myself, why aren´t there any men in the world beeing like her.

  2. It is amazingly described and absolutely true. I have fallen in love with a girl with a guarded heart.

    1. I never had a pain like this, and it is hard to imagine. But one one reason to love her!

  3. It certainly is hard to imagine but i won’t give up on her. Just want to let her know that not al people are bad or have bad intentions.

  4. Thank you, Steve,I lose my mind in the effort to say the right thing, but your words are perfect.
    I must tell her that not al people are bad or have bad intentions.
    And I have to tell her, that she can trust me, as I trust her.

  5. You are welcome, Noone. I wish i could tell the same to the girl i falling in love with, but i so shy and scared. Scared that i might lose her.
    Think the best way is that she get to know me. Know me like i really am, just a simple man, with a loving heart, and arms that never will let her go.

  6. But Steve, this sounds great! May be you are shy and scared. I do not know any men, who told me, they are simple! This is already a reason to like you. Although, in fact, everybody is special individuum, who is worth to be loved…however people, who know, that one human being is nothing, compared to the whole universe, are really special persons! Yes, you are right let her know you and try to know her, is a good choice. There is no need to hurry, I´m sure!

  7. Oh, i am simple. I enjoy life, enjoy the simple things in life. Things that makes life beautiful.
    Nobody is perfect and every individual has flaws, but is that makes us human, it makes us who we are.
    And to be honest, i don’t want to be perfect because i think i won’t be the same man anymore.
    Do hou know the song “i’m just a county boy” grom Don Williams? That describes me in the best way.

    1. No, I didn´t know the song, but I´m always curious to hear new songs….it´s a beautiful song!I think you have to check out, if this girl is happy with her “dimond rings”…if she loves to have money and spend money or, if she´s just sitting in a golden cage and would prefer simple things. If she need all this stuff, then…sorry Steve….just try to forget her.

  8. She is also a very easy going girl, Noone. Don’t think the nerds all of that. Think she needs someone that cares, loves her for who she is, loves her for her heart, someone that makes her feel special, unique, that she is the only one.

    1. This sound good! Then she will also have enough sensitivity to recognize how you feel and then, first of all, she should take steps that show, that she wants to live differently, regardless of feelings of you. And regardless of feelings for you.

  9. She is a woman i would fight die because i have never met such a loving heart as hers. Altough she has trust issues, i can feel her love through every word, every move, i can see it in her eyes.
    She has a natural beauty glowing sound her. A kind i have never seen before. That is what made me fall in love with her, makes me wanna care for her.

    1. I am so happy for you and if you can feel her love so much, nobody needs to fight. Take it as a present from god!

  10. I am a girl with a guarded heart. It’s freshly broken all over again by someone who knew how guarded I am and seemed so kind, patient, open, honest, and loving. I am devastated. I will never trust any man ever again. For you men who love those of us women with guarded hearts, please, please be trustworthy and kind. If you truly love us, you will need patience and compassion. If you don’t have either of them, please just leave us alone. Please don’t lie to us, it is more hurtful than you can imagine. Not only does it insult our intelligence, it is disrespectful. Please do not lie to us. It takes a person with trust issues and turns her into a person who can’t ever place trust in a man again. Be gentle and move slowly. Please, please do everything in your power to help her heart heal.

  11. This is so me!I love it. I too had written some of this words.Im so amazed.My life stories, really is!

  12. Nice for commenter Steve..you just need courage to speak up…and same with noonespecial- you just need the first step…

    To commenters Art4living and Marleen- indeed we have guarded hearts…men should take care much of us….right Rini and Alex?

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