Those who don’t like me.

have no problem with those who don’t like me, but I do have a problem with those who pretend to.

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  1. No, they pretend to be your friend when they really don’t like you and it’s usually because they can get something they want from you, or they just steal it. I know. I learned the hard way about the back stabbers. The great pretenders. And they’ll usually have you completely fooled. At first. They are good liars. Even better imposters. And when they decide they don’t want to make the effort anymore because they’ve gotten what they wanted or needed from you, they just slowly stop coming around or they just disappear. If you don’t catch them first. Pretend friends take a lot, but very rarely do they give much in return.
    If you’re the one doing almost all the giving, almost all of the listening, almost all of the texting or calling or trying to communicate when they aren’t around, and almost none of the receiving, or not getting much chance to share your emotions or thoughts or ideas and you feel as if your “friendship” has taken a nosedive although they might be spending their free time with other friends, and/or if you are feeling used and/or abandoned, and then they suddenly reappear but then disappear again after a shorter time, and then it becomes a pattern… well to put it bluntly, you’ve probably been “friends” with a “friend pretender”.
    It hurts. It sucks. It’s painful to admit. And if you allow it to continue, then it sucks even worse. It’s best to confront it and call them out on it, just let them know how their behavior makes you feel and set some boundaries and stick with them. If they are truly your friend, you’ll know. If they are a pretender, you’ll find that out too. You’ll have to change your behaviors too. Stop being the “giver” all the time, and pay attention to your gut instincts instead of ignoring them and making excuses for the other person’s behavior. Friendship, like any healthy relationship, is about giving and receiving in a fairly equitable amount. Whether it’s giving and receiving of time, effort, emotions, support, gifts, or whatever else, when one is giving too much and the other is taking too much, it becomes an unhealthy relationship which leads to sadness, hurt feelings, distrust, anger and resentment. That can eventually lead to feelings of rage and depression, which is anger turned inwards.
    It’s not healthy for anyone in any relationship of any kind and it’s very painful and it can lead to great sadness, loneliness, distrust of others and of self, a sense of desperation, withdrawl and isolation.

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