The Pain Of Being In Love With Someone You Can Never Be With.

The Pain Of Being In Love With Someone You Can Never Be With.

Love is an extremely powerful emotion. It can be wildly euphoric, or deeply painful. Sometimes it’s a puzzling, unsettling mix of both.
Love can be incredibly confusing. We don’t always feel it when it’s most convenient, but when we feel it in the right circumstances it’s empowering and uplifting beyond belief. The power love possesses to move us in brilliant and profound ways is coupled with its ability to make us feel the darkest, most ugly emotions possible. The problem with love lies where it meets the real world. People fall in love much more easily and frequently than they might like, meaning we often find ourselves in a position of wanting more than anything to be with someone every day for the rest of our lives but being totally unable to. There are thousands of reasons you might not be able to be with the person you love, and all of them are horribly painful.
Despair, rather than happiness, is all too often the overwhelming feeling experienced when a person thinks about someone they love. For some people, loving someone involves never even getting the the chance to experience what life would be like if they were loved by them in return. They might sit and look at the person they love almost everyday, without ever having the chance to tell them how they really feel. They think about what it would be like to stare into the person’s eyes and tell them they love them. To hear the object of their dreams say it back. To feel the arms of the person they wish they could have wrapped around their back.
They sit and they hope and they dream for a love that feels all too far away. Their fantasies are detached from reality, meaning they’re forever longing for a person that they’ve never experienced something concrete with. This means that their ideas can run away with themselves, stretching their illusion of the person they love and building them up to be something far more than they really are – just another person. When you love someone that doesn’t see you the same way, it’s easy to feel overwhelming sadness and grief for never having the person you wish you could be with.
For other people, when they think about the person they love the overriding feeling they get is regret. They’ve experienced what it’s like to love someone and be loved by them in return, and for whatever reason, it’s gone now. When they think of the person they love, they think about how much they wish could have happened differently, how much they wish they could change. A relationship between two people in love is intense and passionate, the kind of relationship where two souls become one. You know everything about each other. You know what they like, and what they don’t. You know the things they find funny, or boring, or horribly depressing. You’re in sync with someone in a way that you never knew was possible.
Some people say that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. It’s better to have experienced something beautiful, even if only for a moment, than to be left always wondering what it could have been like. But losing the person you love is an incredibly difficult experience. The feelings of support, understanding, and care that you experienced are ripped away for good. You’re left alone and unsure, afraid of taking on the world on your own. Only too recently, it felt like you could take on the world, like you could do anything, and now you’re only full of doubt and regret. The feelings of something left unfinished, of something being broken beyond repair inside of you may fade in time, but they never really go away completely. You’re always left wondering why things had to be so wrong with someone that felt so right.
Love will always be a beautiful thing. Even when it’s painful, you can find peace in the knowledge that you had to have experienced something good to feel pain at being without it. The fact that anything in life can make you feel such strong, overwhelming emotion is an incredible thing. Being in love with someone you can’t have will always be hard, but all you can do is acknowledge that they’re never going to be able to be the person you want them to be in your life, and that that’s okay. You’ve loved once, and you’ll love again. There is always the opportunity to meet someone new, wherever you are in life. There will always be hope for you to love someone else with even more intensity, even more feeling. Lasting love with the right person is worth the wait, and eclipses any of the pain felt from having loved before and lost it.
Loving someone you can’t have is one of the worst feelings you can experience in life, but everything will pass. In the long run, you’ll know you’re better off for having had the experience. You learn that you deserve more so don’t let it take over your life. When all is said and done, you’ll be glad you took care of your heart and sanity even because those are the things that only you can protect.

Written by Maverick, Staff Writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc. ©️

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  1. Wow, over thirty years and here I am getting lost in feelings and pain that I havent let go of. This was a beautiful article. It spoke to me as not much else has been able too.

  2. I have been in the position of loving someone who i could never be with. The pain of coming to terms with this was awful. But fate was to play a big part in my life afterwards. I met a lovely man who just turned my life around and i was so glad that the person who broke my heart to start with was gone from my life. I am now married to the wonderful man i met and i have never felt love like it. Dont waste your life on something you cant have.

  3. Loved the article. I know all of it too welL and as I was reading I realize I didn’t know How to describe what I feel. No judgement. No preconceptions. Very meaningful to me.

  4. Very well written! I am in love with 2 men. It is possible for me because I have a heart big enough for it. I’ve been divorced from my second husband for two years now. A few years ago I met a man who knows me to my very core but can’t commit for obvious reasons and I knew it from the start and learned that the time I do spend with him we make beautiful memories together. It does not hurt that I can’t have him because I’ve accepted our relationship as it is and am grateful for it. The man I met a year ago I also love with all my heart and we will be living together by years end. He treats me like gold and fulfills my heart equally as well as the need I have to be accepted for all my crazy and nurtures me in ways I missed out on as a kid. I hope to marry him one day if he so desires and live out the rest of my days with him.

  5. But being in that pain and sure of the regret coming, how you can possibly assure your self that what you didnt lived was not that great and the one you find afterward is better. That future coming should not be called love that’s compromise..and love was what you lost… Just imagine the life you may get with your lost love.. If its two lives then it can be judged only but the better is the one which you lost as it give you the feelings to Judge the coming…

  6. I really like the article. Finally someone understands the struggle that seems irrational for the people that surrounds me.

  7. I can so relate even though it has been 40+ years !!
    I did compromise but didn’t realize ’till it was too late.

  8. True However, One needs to understand that there are innumerable ways in which one reflects love.
    It is being caring, taking responsibility and being there in the hour of the need.
    Moreover sometimes one gets confused with idea of falling in love. At times it is infatuation that is assumed as feeling of love.
    Love simply means to send strong positive vibes to help the other person to feel complete and secured.
    One needs to love oneself first to be able to love someone else in true sense.
    Love is a beautiful energy that can be sent across so easily that there is neither any need for words nor any physical closeness.
    May all find this energy within.

  9. Dear Maverick,thanks for that article.
    It is very helpful and comforting. I have been unable to write about my lost love because the emotion gets to me. So, the fact that you’ve written what I am unable to write (I used to know how to write) has helped me profoundly since writing about one’s feelings can help immeasurably in a purgative way.
    I am still so in love with my wife, and I want her to come back even though she left me three years ago and has no intention of even having me in her life.
    I’m not sure if knowing that others have experienced what I have experienced (we were married for 25 years) is comforting because I wouldn’t want anyone to have to go through the pain of a broken heart. Yet, your article and comments by others are indeed helpful because I feel at least a glimmer of hope that I will one day get past this excruciating missing.

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