The Pain Of Being In Love With Someone You Can Never Be With.
Love is an extremely powerful emotion. It can be wildly euphoric, or deeply painful. Sometimes it’s a puzzling, unsettling mix of both.
Love can be incredibly confusing. We don’t always feel it when it’s most convenient, but when we feel it in the right circumstances it’s empowering and uplifting beyond belief. The power love possesses to move us in brilliant and profound ways is coupled with its ability to make us feel the darkest, most ugly emotions possible. The problem with love lies where it meets the real world. People fall in love much more easily and frequently than they might like, meaning we often find ourselves in a position of wanting more than anything to be with someone every day for the rest of our lives but being totally unable to. There are thousands of reasons you might not be able to be with the person you love, and all of them are horribly painful.
Despair, rather than happiness, is all too often the overwhelming feeling experienced when a person thinks about someone they love. For some people, loving someone involves never even getting the the chance to experience what life would be like if they were loved by them in return. They might sit and look at the person they love almost everyday, without ever having the chance to tell them how they really feel. They think about what it would be like to stare into the person’s eyes and tell them they love them. To hear the object of their dreams say it back. To feel the arms of the person they wish they could have wrapped around their back.
They sit and they hope and they dream for a love that feels all too far away. Their fantasies are detached from reality, meaning they’re forever longing for a person that they’ve never experienced something concrete with. This means that their ideas can run away with themselves, stretching their illusion of the person they love and building them up to be something far more than they really are – just another person. When you love someone that doesn’t see you the same way, it’s easy to feel overwhelming sadness and grief for never having the person you wish you could be with.
For other people, when they think about the person they love the overriding feeling they get is regret. They’ve experienced what it’s like to love someone and be loved by them in return, and for whatever reason, it’s gone now. When they think of the person they love, they think about how much they wish could have happened differently, how much they wish they could change. A relationship between two people in love is intense and passionate, the kind of relationship where two souls become one. You know everything about each other. You know what they like, and what they don’t. You know the things they find funny, or boring, or horribly depressing. You’re in sync with someone in a way that you never knew was possible.
Some people say that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. It’s better to have experienced something beautiful, even if only for a moment, than to be left always wondering what it could have been like. But losing the person you love is an incredibly difficult experience. The feelings of support, understanding, and care that you experienced are ripped away for good. You’re left alone and unsure, afraid of taking on the world on your own. Only too recently, it felt like you could take on the world, like you could do anything, and now you’re only full of doubt and regret. The feelings of something left unfinished, of something being broken beyond repair inside of you may fade in time, but they never really go away completely. You’re always left wondering why things had to be so wrong with someone that felt so right.
Love will always be a beautiful thing. Even when it’s painful, you can find peace in the knowledge that you had to have experienced something good to feel pain at being without it. The fact that anything in life can make you feel such strong, overwhelming emotion is an incredible thing. Being in love with someone you can’t have will always be hard, but all you can do is acknowledge that they’re never going to be able to be the person you want them to be in your life, and that that’s okay. You’ve loved once, and you’ll love again. There is always the opportunity to meet someone new, wherever you are in life. There will always be hope for you to love someone else with even more intensity, even more feeling. Lasting love with the right person is worth the wait, and eclipses any of the pain felt from having loved before and lost it.
Loving someone you can’t have is one of the worst feelings you can experience in life, but everything will pass. In the long run, you’ll know you’re better off for having had the experience. You learn that you deserve more so don’t let it take over your life. When all is said and done, you’ll be glad you took care of your heart and sanity even because those are the things that only you can protect.
Written by Maverick, Staff Writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc. ©️