
One of the hardest things you will ever have to do, my dear, is to grieve the loss of a person who is still alive.
One of the hardest things you will ever have to do, my dear, is to grieve the loss of a person who is still alive.
Not true at all, my x husband left me with 2 lil kids for another woman. My 2nd husband died suddenly loved me and we had so much planned to do so many plans and songs to sing so many grand kids to love places to go together and jokes to laugh at. I was dating in 4 monthes after. My 1st there will never be anyone that measures up to #2 my kids even loved him as a dad.way tougher if the lord takes them, the other is just self pride get over it.
I am a birth mother. I miss my boys every day. But I know they are where they need to be.
It wasn’t the best decision for me, but it was the best decision for THEM. And I believe that’s what being a parent is.. always making the best decisions we can for our children. Even if it cripples us in the process.
My sister lost her step children and I think she really believes it’s harder to deal with that than it is to deal with the living dead. It’s difficult to live a life full of grief that technically.. I chose. But life isn’t black and white. And neither was my life all those years ago. She comforts herself by saying “God is rocking them to sleep now”. I face the reality that my children are telling another woman “Goodnight mommy”. But I did it for them. I still do it for them.
I will always love you two.
Don’t assume that the living person is an ex. Watching someone journey through diseases like Alzheimer’s or Huntington’s is a process of mourning them while they still live. They die a little bit everyday in small ways and larger ones until they succumb and finally die. A decade can go by before they are officially determined to be dead.
If you lost one to addiction and think that is the worst that could happen in life, think of the life your heart would live if they were in a coma, or a total vegitive state,and you were there care taker. You would hate yourself for no matter how much love you have for them, you just can’t stand to see them alive like that. That is pain, sorrow and anger everyday. Life is unfair death is often to slow.
It could be through addiction, breakup, or disease. I’ve also lost people to mental illness and abusive relationships. When people get into a bad relationship and aren’t ready to move on, they will drop out of your life. It’s also impossible to say what will be easier to deal with. At least with grieving the living, there can be hope they will return.
My daughter suddenly stopped communicating with me a few years ago. No explanation. My lover of one year suddenly stopped communicating with me. No explanation. It’s a cowardly way to end a relationship in both cases. No closure. Ultimately, I don’t want to be around people who are emotionally unable to communicate, but I do grieve the loss. Meanwhile, I have many relatives and friends with whom I do have a wonderful relationship. I am grateful.
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