On the day I die.

On The Day I Die

On the day I die a lot will happen.
A lot will change.
The world will be busy.On the day I die, all the important appointments I made will be left unattended.
The many plans I had yet to complete will remain forever undone.
The calendar that ruled so many of my days will now be irrelevant to me.
All the material things I so chased and guarded and treasured will be left in the hands of others to care for or to discard.
The words of my critics which so burdened me will cease to sting or capture anymore. They will be unable to touch me.
The arguments I believed I’d won here will not serve me or bring me any satisfaction or solace.
All my noisy incoming notifications and texts and calls will go unanswered. Their great urgency will be quieted.

My many nagging regrets will all be resigned to the past, where they should have always been anyway.
Every superficial worry about my body that I ever labored over; about my waistline or hairline or frown lines, will fade away.
My carefully crafted image, the one I worked so hard to shape for others here, will be left to them to complete anyway.
The sterling reputation I once struggled so greatly to maintain will be of little concern for me anymore.

All the small and large anxieties that stole sleep from me each night will be rendered powerless.
The deep and towering mysteries about life and death that so consumed my mind will finally be clarified in a way that they could never be before while I lived.
These things will certainly all be true on the day that I die.

Yet for as much as will happen on that day, one more thing that will happen.
On the day I die, the few people who really know and truly love me will grieve deeply.
They will feel a void.
They will feel cheated.
They will not feel ready.
They will feel as though a part of them has died as well.
And on that day, more than anything in the world they will want more time with me.
I know this from those I love and grieve over.

And so knowing this, while I am still alive I’ll try to remember that my time with them is finite and fleeting and so very precious—and I’ll do my best not to waste a second of it.

I’ll try not to squander a priceless moment worrying about all the other things that will happen on the day I die, because many of those things are either not my concern or beyond my control.

Friends, those other things have an insidious way of keeping you from living even as you live; vying for your attention, competing for your affections.
They rob you of the joy of this unrepeatable, uncontainable, ever-evaporating Now with those who love you and want only to share it with you.

Don’t miss the chance to dance with them while you can.
It’s easy to waste so much daylight in the days before you die.
Don’t let your life be stolen every day by all that you believe matters, because on the day you die, much of it simply won’t.

Yes, you and I will die one day.
But before that day comes: let us live..

~ John Pavlovitz

Please check out John’s Pavlovitz website at:


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  1. the way my loveones treat me i dont matter anyway so im ready to go i thought i had a reason for god giving me a second chance to live giving me a chance for a new family to create and raise boy was i wrong i got crapped on after 19 years why good question only they and god know im tired of them still hurting me i only try to love them even though they left me for no good reason i did all i could to be a good dad and husband i just wish to know why they did what they did is all im sorry if i drug this out for anyone who sees this post but i know i am not the only person who has is hurting this way somewhere out theyre i just hope to find reason and happiness again i wish the same for all you other victems ty for letting me share my pain and thoughts

    1. Be at peace. God loves you with a perfect love. Our families are only human. They do not have a perfect love.

  2. Shawn a lot of people get so caught up in their own lives that they don’t see that their loved ones need their help. You seem like a very open and meaningful person. You might want to reach out to them and see what you can find out what’s going on with the way you are being treated.
    I have had four heart surgeries and two strokes in the last four years. I certainly am aware of my immortality but also seem to think that my friends and family don’t understand it. I think once I survive an attack and can act normal, they think it’s all okay again. I don’t. I will always remember being that close to death and know it could happen again without warning. I’m thankful because I know they love me and am thankful for the advice one of my wise Drs gave me. He told me to enjoy something every day. It made sense so I keep it in mind. Please never, ever, ever give up!

  3. Hey man hang in there.The storm will stop.See someone with the knowledge to help you through this.Set small goals and achieve them and be proud of yourself.Quote Dale Carnegie.You are no. 1
    Love yourself first.Been there ,done it.Wasn’t easy but worth it.

  4. Hey shawn, you know I know what you’re saying and all things considered, the question isn’t always “why?” But “am I strong enough to bear this?” And He will hear and answer when asked for help finding that strength. A quote that I find comfort in , though maybe a little dramatic, “God saves his biggest battles, for his strongest warriors.” Hang in there, and know you can do get thru this, I’m always here..

  5. Shawn, never give up on life. Each day is a new beginning, go out into the sunshine and take a walk, breathe deeply, do something you enjoy everyday. Pray God will listen to you. Please never give up on your life, you have no idea the pain your friends and family will be left with. Reach out to someone who will help you. Life is beautiful. Love and peace be with you.

  6. I can only say Shawn, sometimes people hurt the ones we love the most. I don’t know why some people do… I don’t know your situation- but I do know that you sound like you are aching for answers. And as gut wrenching as it may sound… You may need to write each person a heart felt letter, asking the questions you want answers to, clear your conscience (if needed) & apologize for anything you might of done or what misunderstanding or miscommunication.
    If you keep the communication on your end clear and not toxic…
    Then know as hard as it will be- you have done all you can do.
    You have to just know that if you have asked, you have given these people opportunity to answer… It is up to them now. Be at peace.
    The best lesson I ever learned … We always think “letting go” of something as being painful- but actually a lot of times holding on to things can be even more painful (whether it be wrapping a rope around your hand to hold on to something tighter or a rope burn, because that rope is attached to something you want & it’s slipping away from you)…in both cases- they cause more pain just to hold on!
    Letting go of something is less painful!
    So let some of the mind screwing that’s been causing you pain go!
    You have done all you can at this point & know you may never get the answers you seek… But you tried! And that’s all you can do.

  7. Shawn, you have the best brother, friend that you could have in God. Please ask him to come into your heart and save you and hear your pray. Please do that right now . Your life will change in a flash if you reall mean this and let him in to your heart. I love you and will be praying for you. Please contact me if you need anyone to talk to🙏🙏🙏🙏

  8. Shawn, I do not know if u read this, but I am touched by your words.They express more than you can imagine.Right now I feel the kind of pain you describe.You are not alone.Just know you are safe in someone’s thoughts!

  9. I can’t imagine who would be reading this 18 months on and though I believe in God, He gives you the characteristics and ability to work through this on your own. That may sound harsh but we all have struggles in life and we learn how to overcome them. Platitudes like the biggest fights for the strongest warriors are OK I guess to encourage you forward but realism is necessary too and like the, ‘stiff upper lip’ and ‘being strong’ in times of loss or desperation are simply meant to goad you on (sorry, encourage you). People are trying to be helpful I know but as a funeral director, I see plenty of people really suffering from loss with no way back. Like a ‘thick ear’ from my father who served in the war before PTSD was invented, sometimes we just need to dig in (or pull our sicks up!) and move forward.
    You have the ability and there is always someone worse off than you – it doesn’t help much I know but it is the truth. Feel that you are lucky to live and experience all the emotions, pour yourself a glass of (metaphorical) wine, get up, dust yourself off – as ‘they’ say and get on with life.

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