Nuggets of Gold: “I learned”

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back. I’ve Learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them. I’ve learned that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological. I’ve learned  that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

— Omer B. Washington



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  1. yes, I have learned this, too…and also…when he says he loves me, but is not willing to work through challenges, gives up easily, blames me for everything…that is surely not love. my heart is broken, my lesson learned…and my heart will heal and burst wide open again one day…I am LOVE.

    1. I am sorry!

      When I read your words they were captivating to me. The pain you feel I have felt. I think that’s the connection. I’m sure you will find love. I did and was lost, a incomplete shell. Until she came along.

      My point, there is hope for you! As well as anyone else reading these words…

      Blessings Be Upon You…

  2. Sad but so true. We can’t pick our families but we can choose our friends. Trust is so fragile and along with respect the very foundation of real relationships.

  3. I value your advice here I can relate to some. The 4 C’s of trust are communication, consistency, competency and compassion.Our emotions can be confusing (No communication is one)and can cause sadness and anger. One can make poor decisions. Example. Ditching friends for a boy or girl or lying to your boss and claiming the work for yourself.

    “It takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it”

    I’ll show you there’s no trust When seconds destroy Trust.

    Some people will manipulate you into doing what they want you to wrong so that you feel obliged to help them.You do not want them to love you anyways. Or they can’t love. Who knows..But you.

  4. I disagree with you Kenny when you say there was no trust when it only takes seconds to destroy. You trust people and give them the benefit of doubt when that person continually betrayed you and try to make you think that the betrayal, deceit and disrespect that they have meted out to you over the years is all in your head or mind. I always say that God does not like or love ugly. The final straw that broke the trust or camel’s back occurred when the truth came to light when the adulteress became pregnant and took took her adulterer in cahoots to courts for a paternity test and child support. Both home-wreckers had sworn that people were telling lies about them. it only took seconds to destroy the trust of the wronged wife.

  5. Hi Anita,

    “continually betrayed you and try to make you think that the betrayal, deceit and disrespect that they have meted out to you over the years is all in your head or mind.”
    Yes Absolutely. I was referring to Jocose lie. But your right the more thought I put into this discussion.

  6. The problem with trust is when the person you love breaks that, you begin to turn into a man or woman that is far from your normal character. In my case my husband has been having a hidden emotional affair with his ex-wife for over a year. Phone calls, emails, they even had their own personal texting account, and getting her a job where he works, loaning her money, sharing our marital issues, talking about me, and that is just what he has admitted to….all behind my back. I found out several times only to be told, “we are doing nothing wrong because there is no sex but I promise I will break it off”. You may forgive but you do not forget or trust the following week, or two weeks, or two months, or even six…..because in my case when I get comfortable again I find out it has continued ever few months. You become suspicious about everything and you express it, which in turn angers the culprit. I was told, “I might as well continue because you are not going to trust me anyway.” How can we be someone who can be loved when we turn into the crying because we are hurt, suspicious because they break the trust and the anxious because we are afraid our marriage/relationship is shot? How do you leave them with words of love? “Honey I know you are going to see/communicate intimate details of your life with another woman today but I am learning to trust the dishonest. Oh and tell her I said ‘Hi’ and I love you” because you now have a smart mouth attitude. No instead you argue about it and you watch them storm out and you cry when they are gone because you can’t figure out why your person that you planned a life of caring, love and trust felt the need to damage what at one time they held so important to their heart. And you see, now you are the winey, crying, pitiful, frowning, no self confidence, unlovable bitch when you once were loving, trusting, felling sexy as h…, head held up, confident, smiling, but certainly not perfect of course….but happy spouse. Hey……but it”s our fault!!!

  7. Trust…well yes for me it does and did take time to build and after 25yrs of trying to be as devoted as a wife that I could be to a broken man, who was broken from childhood, who would never get help, who took the pain he carried out on me by continuously breaking my heart, of which I allowed, for causing our son so much emotional pain. This man I now know really never had compacities to love himself first, to trust anything, used everyone, left so much destruction of lives along the way. I tried many times to work it out when he begged forgiveness, when he professed to me that I was the love of his life, and for what, one day he wakes up, middle aged, wants to be alone, depressed , drinking, shuts life away then I discover emotional affairs which I’m sure are physical by this time because I made him leave a month ago. Trust is gone, I would always be suspicious …that’s not love, you need respect for one another also. I’m so tired of this. I know if I am to be alone or some day if God sees fit, the right thing will come to pass. But in reality, we are human beings with many weaknesses, it’s such a shame that we treat each other this way. That goes for family, for friends, etc. we are on this earth for such a short time. Why must there be so much pain and distrust?

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