I do not help my wife.

I do not help my wife.

A friend came to my house for coffee, we sat and talked about life. At some point in the conversation, I said, “I’m going to wash the dishes and I’ll be right back.”

He looked at me as if I had told him I was going to build a space rocket. Then he said to me with admiration but a little perplexed: “I’m glad you help your wife, I do not help because when I do, my wife does not praise me. Last week I washed the floor and no thanks.”

I went back to sit with him and explained that I did not “help” my wife. Actually, my wife does not need help, she needs a partner. I am a partner at home and through that society are divided functions, but it is not a “help” to do household chores.

I do not help my wife clean the house because I live here too and I need to clean it too.

I do not help my wife to cook because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.

I do not help my wife wash the dishes after eating because I also use those dishes.

I do not help my wife with her children because they are also my children and my job is to be a father.

I do not help my wife to wash, spread or fold clothes, because the clothes are also mine and my children.

I am not a help at home, I am part of the house. And as for praising, I asked my friend when it was the last time after his wife finished cleaning the house, washing clothes, changing bed sheets, bathing her children, cooking, organizing, etc. You said thank you

But a thank you of the type: Wow, sweetheart !!! You are fantastic!!!

Does that seem absurd to you? Are you looking strange? When you, once in a lifetime, cleaned the floor, you expected in the least, a prize of excellence with great glory … why? You never thought about that, my friend?

Maybe because for you, the macho culture has shown that everything is her job.

Perhaps you have been taught that all this must be done without having to move a finger? Then praise her as you wanted to be praised, in the same way, with the same intensity. Give her a hand, behave like a true companion, not as a guest who only comes to eat, sleep, bathe and satisfy needs … Feel at home. In his house.

The real change of our society begins in our homes, let us teach our sons and daughters the real sense of fellowship! ”


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  1. To have found a man like this, would have to be EVERY woman’s ULTTIMATE DREAM COME TRUE! They don’t come around so often these days, if at all!

    I believe I know someone JUST LIKE THAT! I’m just a little slow sometimes, which is probably better translated into ‘trust issues’, having been so disappointed in the past with bad relationships and men who are JUST THE OPPOSITE of what this poster says! Sad, how even just ONE ‘BAD APPLE’ can spoil it for a ‘REALLY GOOD MAN’!

    Hmmmmmm ….. Somebody really smart once said to me, “STOP THAT ‘STINKING THINKING’! It is only then, when the doors will open for BETTER OPPORTUNITIES YOU DESERVE! STOP BREAKING YOUR OWN HEART!” REALLY GOOD ADVICE!

  2. So many marriages would have been saved if only husbands had been taught this by their Mother. Mutual showing of affection and appreciation are so important to the salvation and happiness in a marriage.

  3. I hope those who have not thought of what you have said should be put in the wife’s slippers for at least a week, and she just gives you one helping hand in one day out of the seven!
    That’s how the mentality changes begin!
    Congratulations on what you wrote!

  4. I’m 62 & for the first time in my life I have a man who believes as you do…we share ALL the work, All the burdens, All the happiness. It’s Wonderful. Took me a bit to get used to, after decades of housework being MY JOB. I LOVE SHARING 🙂

  5. So true….Thank you for sharing always enjoy reading little things like this that actually point out the meaning of a relationship among other things but it is important to have that in a relationship.

  6. Thank you so much this is true meaning of family and friendship it builds strong bonds hope men would understand the meaning.

  7. My husband is a korean man and their culture is man must be served by their wife or housewives… in short men are king especially at home. That’s what I saw. But I told my husband, “old style”. We are raised in different country and different culture. He understand. He work hard also as I did. And we work together for a living. Eat together. Clean our house together. Cook food together. Watch tv together. Laugh together. Before going to bed… Kiss and sleep together.

  8. I agree, with both husband and wife should share the chores, decision making, looking after the welfare of their children… it’s a combine efforts that the kids will learn from them too… love and harmony among the family.
    I was lucky to be married to a European, because it taught me to become independent & not relying on any help… back home we have house help & not learning to do house work at all, but here I’ve learned so much from my husband & from our friends..equality!

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