I no longer need you.

I thought it would be painful, letting you go.

I thought I would suffer, that my heart would be anguished with the loss of you. Or worse, maybe it would stop beating altogether.

Maybe without you, I would simply cease to exist.

I thought I would become adrift, for you had been the anchor I had formed my identity upon, the compass I had relied on for my direction. I thought without you I would become lost, disoriented.

I had expected to taste salty tears as they fell upon lips that once spoke so fondly of you; that my head would lay on my pillow damp with tears for as many nights as the moon continued to kiss the stars.

But one day, I just knew.

I hadn’t expected such a feeling of relief as I cut the ropes that once shackled me to you. One instant of tremendous clarity. One instant, where I finally knew.

I no longer needed you.

I no longer needed your opinion of me, your affirmation, your approval.

I no longer needed your judgments, your criticisms, your condemnations.

I no longer needed your expectations I could never meet; your hoops too high to jump through, your goal posts that shifted with every changing breeze.

I no longer needed your blame, your excuses, your justifications.

I no longer needed your pseudo love, fraught with conditions and attached with strings.

I thought I needed you. I didn’t.

I thought it would be hard to let you go. It wasn’t.

I thought I would miss you. I don’t.

For in one instant my heart was awakened to the truth of who I am.

I am more than the lies you made believe about myself. I am more than the look of failure in your eyes when I fell short of your demands. I am more than how worthless you made me feel. I am more than the ways you tried to break me.

I am a warrior, sculpted by the hands of creation, fashioned into being by the very hands that created the oceans and the stars and the mountains and air.

I am strong, I am brave, I am wise. I am gentle of spirit with the heart of a lioness.

I am creative, passionate, sensitive, and kind. I am of open heart and open mind. I am powerful, generous, thoughtful, daring, empathetic, raw, complex, courageous, understanding, forgiving.

I am everything you are not.

I will no longer carry the shame you made me suffer under the weight of.

That shame belongs to you.

And I will no longer carry my hate for you.

For that will only ever bind me to your darkness and give you permission to destroy my light. It will allow you to stay within me, to destroy my peace, to blacken my heart with the malice that lives within you.

It will tie me to your soul-destroying bitterness, your ugliness.

It will anchor me once more to you, who tried to drown me.

Instead, I will choose to go into the world and love more fiercely, show more compassion, be more generous, offer more kindness.

I will choose to forgive. For me, not for you.

I will choose to sow what I wish to see reaped for my children’s future.

I will choose to dis-empower hate.

I will choose freedom.

I will choose love.

I will stand firm upon the unshakeable truth of who I am.

And I will soar to heights you will only ever dream of.

For I have let you go.

No longer am I held down by all I allowed you to be in my life.

I no longer need you.

I am free.

Written by Kathy Parker

( with permission)

Kathy Parker is a Warrior. Dreamer. Creator. Writer. Fighter of all that is beautiful and good. Advocator for the underdog. Truth-teller. Empath. Passionate soul. Lover of land and ocean. Coffee drinker. Gentle spirit. Sensitive soul. Wild heart. Survivor. She is a freelance writer, blogger for HuffPost Australia, and columnist for elephant journal who is currently writing her first manuscript.

Married to a farmer in the Limestone Coast of South Australia, she is also a mother to four astonishing children.

Find out more about Kathy at her blog: https://kathyparker.com.au/

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  1. How nice… As I was progressing,, sentence to sentence… Towards the analyzing words.. I was so convinced, rather I knew it is Kathy Parker… And to all my joys I wasn’t wrong.
    Thanks alot for yet another beautiful artwork full of true felt emotions.
    Greetings Regards.
    Urs Juhi😘
    Blessed be😇😇😇

  2. Such a very nice assertion of a man.woman emotionally, psychologically and spiritually ignored and abused..

    For me- not that I no longer need you…BUT I DO NOT NEED A BITTER, HARD,,HARSH AND CRUEL PERSON LIKE YOU….

    Such a waste- intelligent yet with emotional quotient you are pitiful…you do not have a grateful heart who acknowledges your value and worth as a God.made creature….I do not know how you define friendship… I do not know if you know the definition of love and respect.

  3. As I open this site this is the first that I read 9/2 “I thought it would be painful letting you go”. I am in tears, I want this! EVERY SINGLE WORD WRITTEN I want! I desire! I want to feel strong to be able to say this., and one day I will! Very well written.
    Thank you!

  4. So beautifully wrote and so true. Wish I had this years ago when I was going through a tough time. Will share this with my friends.

  5. Thank you so much for such a beautiful writing that hits at everyone sometime in their life. Wish I had this years ago as would have made it easier at that tough time. I will definitely share this with others.

    1. Thank you for this beautiful work.ckr so many years I felt there were two sides of me, and one of those sides I tried to keep hidden, due to the shame I felt. However a few years ago that changed when u decided at 45 that the shame and guilt I carried could be carried no more. See I’m transgender and had to let the side of love and compassion win over shame and guilt. This just said everything, I told myself for years. I am now free to be the love, light, hope, and strength I was dying inside to be. Thank you for these beautiful words.

  6. I read this again and again when I need strength. I’m not 100 percent there yet but getting close. I still have hate and am far from forgiveness. But I’m trying just to be at peace.

  7. Hits home- with a gentle “wack” fair in the belly. Not mushy, but clear, relinquishing and a rebirthing journey into a better place.
    Oh how do we mindlessly sumblmate “our being” our light, under or into the dark shadows of another. We too have a part to play in allowing this “unhealthy” situation to insidiously over take us. Look within for love & self affirmation first…do not seek it from others, until you know your true worth, your true “strong & better” self!

  8. I have never read anything so relevant to my life and what i’m struggling with this very moment in time. I am saving this to give me the strength to move forward in my life.
    Thank you for your words. You are my hero

  9. WOW!!!
    You wrote this so beautifully, truthful… It resignated with me, on so many levels,its shocking. I would like to say thank you, for your amazing writing. Its so refreshing, to be able to find things that are truly good for your heart an soul. Enjoyable and actually sensible readings. Thanx again, your work is amazing.

  10. I cannot sleep tonight.I am morning the end of my 15 years relationship.I was feeling heartbroken and very afraid of a future without him.And then I read this poem and all the black eyes the black and blue marks, the cruelty the disrespect the condensation and the awful name calling rushed forward like a toxi tidal wave ready to envelope me once more.But the days of one more time are over.Im free and im alive.

  11. Thank you so much for writing this. I really needed this. I am currently going thru a divorce with a covert narcissist of 13 1/2 years.

    I have never read something so relevant to my life and what i’m struggling with right now.

    I will be saving this to give me the strength to keep moving forward in my life. And remind myself that there was never anything wrong with me and that I was not at fault.

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