Moving on from heartbreak: the seven best ways to heal the wounds from losing the one you love
Most of us go through heartbreak at some point in our lives. There are few things more terrifying and disorienting than the realization that someone who was once very dear to you is no longer going to be in your life in the way you wanted, expected, and perhaps even needed. While nothing will ever be able to completely take the pain away apart from time, here are seven of the best ways to help yourself heal after losing the one you love.
Keep a sense of perspective
It’s important to think through the situation and to come to terms with has happened and why. Reflect on everything. If your partner left you, why? What reasons did they give? (If they didn’t give you closure, speaking to close friends always helps). Come to terms with the reasons why you broke up. If you lost your partner due to them passing away, remember that as sad as it is, no one lives forever. It’s not fair that they’re gone, but it was always going to happen eventually. What’s important is to keep on going, to live as you know they would have wanted you to.
Keep yourself busy
Keep occupied, keep active. Plan your days and work hard to be as productive and focused on work as you can be. Put your hands and mind to work on something positive and constructive, rather than giving yourself lots of spare time to dwell on the past. Thinking things through is helpful; obsessing and ruminating for hours on end over situation that is in the past and that you can’t change is not.
Remember that life goes on
Whatever happens, life goes on. The world doesn’t end because you’ve lost someone’s presence in your life, no matter how much they meant to you. Things might not ever be quite the same as they once were, but life is bigger than any one person. You still have life to live, experiences to have, and stories to tell.
Work on yourself
Self-improvement is a vital part of moving on from any loss. It helps to focus your attention on something positive and can give you a much-needed mood lift. Seeing positive results helps you to feel better about yourself and boost your self-esteem when you feel like you’ll never find someone special again, too. Exercise is a brilliant way of doing this.
Talk to friends and family
Bottling up your feelings is never a good idea. Just talking about what has happened will help lift some of the burden – if only a little bit. Getting other people’s thoughts and perspectives on the situation is also extremely helpful in learning to move on.
Let time heal you
At the end of the day, the only thing that will take the pain away is time. New experiences and life events will bring about a shift in perspective, and eventually you’ll learn to realise that what happened was probably for the best, and doesn’t mean you can’t be happy ever again. Let your experiences shape and mold you, good and bad alike. Learn, grow, and adapt.
Meet new people
While this often isn’t a great idea to rush into too soon, once you’re ready it’s important to meet new people. They open up new doors and give you avenues into new parts of life that can be experienced. Being in the company of new people can help to lift your mood and give you a sense of purpose and perspective.
Pain from heartbreak is a strange thing. If you and someone you love have broken up, you’ll probably find that further down the road the pain heals. You’ll find someone else – the right person, eventually. You’ll learn new lessons about yourself and others, and become a happier person for having had the experience. You’ll know that what happened was for the best, that things couldn’t have carried on the way they were – if it was right for both of you, you wouldn’t have broken up, after all.
If you’ve lost someone through death, the situation is somewhat different. It’s a loose end. Who knows how you would have ended up? There’s no closure there. It’s easy to imagine that everything would have worked out if they’d lived, even though there’s no way to know for sure. The best thing to do in this scenario is to remember that the pain will subside eventually. It will never completely go away – loss through death is just too painful, too heart-wrenching. It will get less and less frequent, though.
While you’ll always miss them, over the course of a few years you might go from daily pain whenever thinking of them to pain and heartache only a couple of days a week. From there, it might become a few days a month, then a year. In time, the pain becomes less frequent, and less intense when you do feel it. It becomes manageable, something you can deal with, rather than the overwhelming grief experienced immediately after someone’s death.
Written by Maverick – Staff writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc.