It wasn’t your fault.

It wasn’t your fault.

It wasn’t your fault you weren’t protected from getting hurt when you were younger.

It wasn’t your fault you weren’t told how much you mattered, how much you were worth.

It wasn’t your fault you had no voice, that you were powerless and not taught to say no.

It wasn’t your fault you didn’t know how to draw the line around your heart, mind and body to protect yourself from being hurt by others.

It wasn’t your fault the people who should have shown you where to draw that line instead made you feel you weren’t important enough to keep safe.

You grew up with no lines and no boundaries and you didn’t know the difference between love and abuse, and because of that, you allowed others to hurt you, when all you really wanted was for others to love you.

And that isn’t your fault.

Let yourself be angry. Let yourself be angry that you were never told how much you were worth. That you never protected yourself because nobody ever protected you. That you allowed people to violate the lines that should have been there but never were because you weren’t told how to put those lines in place.

Because you weren’t told how important you were, and how much it mattered.

How much you mattered.

Let the anger rise within you. Allow yourself to cry tears of rage and grief for all you have lost. For all others have taken from you – not what you have given away – but what others have taken from you, that you can no longer get back.

Use that anger to fight for yourself in the way you should have been fought for. Use it to reclaim all that has been taken, to reclaim your heart. Let the anger become a fire that rages in your soul and burns away the tarnish that others have left upon you. Let the flames consume you, let them purify you, let them cleanse you and refine you until all that is left is the beauty of who you really are.

Your worth is great. You were created by the same hands that created the galaxies and the stars and the oceans and the storms and the wind that rages across the four corners of the earth. You were breathed into existence, not by accident, but with purpose, with promise. The entire universe listens just to hear the beating of your heart and the whisper of your breath. You were meant to be here. You were supposed to be here.

You were wanted here.

And you are worthy of the kind of love that nurtures your soul and heals your heart. A love that sees your value and worth and believes in you. A love that is strong and kind, loyal and true. A love that brushes the hair from your eyes and kisses your forehead and gives you its jacket when you are cold and holds your hand when you are scared and draws you into its arms and doesn’t let go until it stops hurting. You are worthy of someone whose feet are anchored; who loves you when you radiate with the light of the moon and stars, and loves you even harder when you are cast in the shadow of your own cold sorrow.

You are worthy of a love that will never, ever hurt you.

Draw your lines, dear woman, for within these lines lies the truth of all that you are worth.

And the moment you come to know this truth, is the moment nobody can ever take that away from you again.

~ © Kathy Parker ~

(With permission)

Please check out Kathy’s blog at :

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  1. It wasn’t your fault by Kathy Parker are the words that I have been seeking for someone to say to me. I wish my Mom could say these words to me but I have not heard them yet. It has been almost 20 years since I told my family about the emotional, physical, and sexual abuse I endured for 10 years as a child from my older brother. My parents blamed me for the abuse. They said I instigated the abuse. I was 10. I didn’t think I mattered. I have tried suicide many times, thinking that I was nobody. I was a burden . It has taken many years of therapy to realize I am someone. I matter. I am here for a reason . I am now starting to advocate for those who are voiceless. I collect donations of stuffed animals for our local abused child center and each child is given a stuffed animal after their physical exam since the center had no funding for the stuffed animals. I know I am making a difference. My healing is also helping other childern heal from abuse through these stuffed animals.

  2. These words are so powerful right now at this time of my life I have tears flowing because you know what? I know that I’m Worthy it’s a struggle and I know that people were bad to me and that it’s not my fault it’s also a struggle, Oh how I dream of the day someone will see me shine😇

  3. Dear Anonymous, No, it does not only happen to woman. This affects all ages, races, ethnic groups, social status . No one is immune from being abused. Sadly, abuse occurs way more than society thinks. We, the abused, need to speak up and educate our society. There is no reason for abuse . Abuse does not need to occur. We need to stand up and be the voice for those who are voiceless.

  4. Dear Clyde,Yes , you are Worthy. It wasn’t your fault.You matter. Believe in yourself. You are shining. You may be struggling but you made it through the times that people were bad to you. You survived. Those times are behind you now. ( I hope you are no longer in a situation where people are bad to you) Live for the present. I realize that can be hard to do sometimes. Pick small goals you can work on. Stay positive. Do this for you because you deserve it. Bless you.

  5. That brought tears to my soul,it touched the little girl inside of me and that’s what she desperately needed to hear.

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