It really hurts to let go.

It really hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something or someone the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you, because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it’s so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn’t come back. You’re left so alone that you can’t explain. Damn, there’s nothing like that, is there? I’ve been there and you have too. You’re nodding your head. – Henry Rollins

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  1. Good afternoon,
    I feel as if this thread was written specifically for me as it speaks to me on so many complex issues of my life in this present time.
    I am experiencing a great deal of feeling isolated or alone due to unforeseen changes at my place of employment.
    I am a very experienced Registered Nurse that has had to face a complete change in my nursing team. Not one of my nursing colleagues is left , for various reasons,in the department that I work. So currently, I am working with an entirely new team of nurses.
    I have been in my current position for 15 years. I have been there longer than even upper management, including the hospitals CEO.
    Having said that, I feel like I’ve lost my best friends, my confidants and most importantly an integral part of my medical team.
    I feel like it’s time to make a career change but I’m afraid to move out of my comfort zone, thus the connection with the ideology of trying to hold on to something the more it’s screaming to get away from you.
    I do feel like a criminal for demanding to be a part of this new team, which was non existent. I have many times felt small or disconnected with the new nurses. I do not understand why all the time, so absolutely it confuses me.
    I am trying to hold on to something that was but definitely is non existent now.
    Is it time for a change in the genre of nursing I am experienced in? I have a passion to work in the NICU with baby’s.
    Or should I just allow myself more time and stay where I feel miserable and isolated?
    Damn, I’m alone and there’s nothing like it!
    Please feel free to give me your inspirational ideas, your opinions, anything positive.
    Thank you.

  2. Itz true it hurts a lot …how to survive this feeling “to be or not to question of life”…nice post

  3. Ms.Deidre,there is always a reason why things do change and happen….it does not feel good when changes happen sometimes even when the change is good…….because we still have to get ajusted to a brand new of everything ,starting with the people you work with but I believe that it is the way or the perspective you look things at that you make things better or worse for your self.. give it some real time before you do make a decision to stay or leave…..yes, sometimes change is meant for us to really get out of our comfort zone but we refuse to do so …..been there done that…..none of us want to leave our comfort zone but if we do leave then later we are happy we did…..the position you are in is a difficult place to be and so it requires wisdom thinking ,I will keep you in my prayers and I pray alll work out for your best:)

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