To encourage you to keep going.
To remind you to be strong.

Published on July 20, 2019 in Blog1, Picture Quotes, Revive
16
8

It All Makes Sense Now; You Never Loved Me.

 

For the longest time, I thought it was all in my head. I thought I was seeing things that weren’t really there, that I was constantly making something out of nothing. All that time, I blamed myself for everything. All of the problems we had, you successfully convinced me were all of my own making. 

I was a shell of a person. You nearly drove me crazy.

But now, everything is very clear to me. I see now how little our relationship mattered to you. How little you really cared about me. I realize now that no matter how much you claimed to listen, you never really heard me. 

You never made me feel important. You never made me feel loved. You never made me feel special.

I was never a priority for you. I was only ever an option, one of many ways you could be spending an evening. You only ever used me to pass the time and satisfy yourself.

It hurts. I was nothing to you, but to me you were everything. 

You never considered my feelings. You never thought about me beyond how you could use me to make yourself feel good. You never kept me in mind while you flirted with other women or ignored my texts and calls. I don’t know how I was so blind to it all for so long, but now the blindfold is off and I can see your true colors. 

I see your selfishness. I see how little conscience you possess when you lie through your teeth without even batting an eyelid. It’s so easy for you that sometimes I wonder if perhaps you believe your own lies. I see your need for control and domination. I see how you felt powerful and successful from being able to make me do what you wanted. 

I see you for what you really are. I see now that you never loved me – you were only ever using me. 

When I realized that fact, I felt like a fool. At first, I blamed myself, like I did for our whole relationship. I cried and beat myself up and cursed myself for being such a naïve idiot. 

But in time, I realized that I wasn’t to blame for any of this. I realized that you were.

It wasn’t my fault that you manipulated me. It wasn’t my fault that I fell for your honeyed words and empty promises. It wasn’t my fault that I believed you when you said that you loved me. 

But you didn’t. You were using me. It took me a long time to swallow that hard fact, but now I know that you were simply in my life as a learning experience. You taught me a lot about people. You taught me that you never really know someone, only the version of themselves that they want you to see. So, thanks for that, if for nothing else. At least I know I won’t make the same mistake again.

Written by Maverick, Staff writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc. ©


16 Comments

  1. Heidi July 20, 2019 Reply

    I want to take this and send it to my ex. This could have been written by me.

  2. Bec July 21, 2019 Reply

    Thanks for your cowardly truth

    • Natali July 22, 2019 Reply

      As cowardly as one can be!

  3. Natali July 21, 2019 Reply

    Why would I want the Love of some body, if any, who is the lowest cast in their country? It tells me the kind of coward that he has been all these years.

    His plan to continue the game, my plan to end it for him!

  4. Nilesh Sharma July 21, 2019 Reply

    Yes we all have this funny way of learning things the hard way, but what is important is that we learn and realize and move on…

  5. Elf lows July 21, 2019 Reply

    Wow…I actually fell for him in giving it all and yet, he never thought I would just up and leave. Didn’t even shed a tear like previous times in taking the blame he placed on me. Good riddens to him. I’m back to being the strong independent woman that I was before and living life to the fullest.

    • Natali July 22, 2019 Reply

      I think I know exactly who you are talking about. It is now time for me to publish his name so once and for all he will experience the humiliation, abuse, and heartbreak that he has put innocent females through because of his cowardly acts.

  6. Jayanand Vijayakumar July 21, 2019 Reply

    A painful lesson, learnt the hard way. Remember the learnt lesson so that the same situation is noted and avoided.

  7. Petya July 22, 2019 Reply

    I never loved you, cause i adore you:)I am simple,why complicating everything and ruing the only holy emotion in this fucked up world.Look around -do you believe even 1% of the people who claim they love each other, have family and children, really understand each other, support and care for each other.I know what a real prove is, i don’t need a paper to prove people what do i feel.My questions are others, and i’ll ask them when the time arise.

    • Natali July 22, 2019 Reply

      Good luck!

  8. Heleen July 22, 2019 Reply

    Yes I believed you for 32 years ebd gave you 2 beautifull childeren. But when sex was impossible during my illnes you left me for a fat, tatoet women who looks like a man. But she wants to fuck and that was what youre life was al albout.
    8 years later I still feel the pain and hate myself that I was blind all that time.

    • Natali July 22, 2019 Reply

      Dear Helen,
      Don’t you worry about anything.

      My last man gave me up, after claiming that I was the most beautiful thing happening in his life, to his ex long time witch who not only looked like a witch ( tall, very skinny long fingers , black long straight hair, and long pointy nose) , but one who had also expelled him to only be captivated by her to the point of damaging himself by doing wrong things to himself and other women.

      I tried my best to save him and did everything in my abilities to help him see the straight path. I was only successful for couple of months but he fell for her expelled nature again and I could not save him any more. I think it worked both ways.
      I was at a point in my life where I was almost giving up and he save my life.

      Time must move on and I could only wish that we met each other before we were both victims of this fucked world.
      It would have been a bliss for both of us!
      I am sure!

  9. Amy July 24, 2019 Reply

    Thank you, Maverick for a beautifully written post. I wish I had this to send to my ex 3 yrs ago when he dropped me like a rock out of the blue after 5 years of being together. He was my everything and he was my first thought in the morning and my last at night. Yet, he only expressed the bare minimum of love in return. Looking back, I can’t believe I fell under his spell. But I feel so much better after reading your words. It’s so comforting that I’m not alone and that this had happened to others.
    Many thanks, Amy

  10. Beca July 29, 2019 Reply

    I cant believe I fell for his deception and daily lies. I we built a family a life in marriage with 3 children. All these years, he never opened up was loving. The only thing he was was loyal staying with our family, providing basic support as breadwinner.
    However, all these years he lived another selfish double life.
    And i suffered throughout not having a real intimate loving relationship. He used me while he was getting over making extreme amts of $$$ with variety of on going hookups and relationships, even other families.
    Well when I found out I left him and he was so evil, vile, and horrid. Even though he will never leave me in peace and privacy, I am the only one to move forward and have to learn to deal with this.
    God bless😊

  11. Bea July 31, 2019 Reply

    I could have written a story identical to that! These people must have been issued a manual at birth because their behavior and conduct seems textbook!

  12. Truthseeker August 11, 2019 Reply

    27 Years, 2 kids, and I am still not enough in his eyes. I am still with him but my fulfillment comes from the only lover of my soul I have ever known and experienced, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. His tenderness and devotion for me is all I will ever needs and I know that He cherishes me for who I am. Jesus is the defender of my heart.

    “When I thought I lost me,
    You knew where I left me,
    You reintroduced me to,

    Your love You picked up all my pieces,
    Put me back together,
    You are the defender of my heart.”

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