To encourage you to keep going.
To remind you to be strong.

Published on June 14, 2020 in Blog1, Picture Quotes, Revive
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21

If You Constantly Ignore Your Woman,You Will Only Teach

Her How To Live Without You.

It’s funny how she puts in so much effort and you consistently do the bare minimum. She pours her entire heart into the relationship, while you just try to do whatever you can to keep her off your back. Is she your girlfriend, or just an inconvenience?

She spends all evening getting ready, waiting, thinking about seeing you, only for you to message her at the last minute telling her that you’re running late. She sighs, wondering if you’ll end up cancelling completely yet again for some bullsh*t reason. 

Even when the two of you do hang out, you’re always on your phone. You barely seem interested in her most of the time, apart from when you’re eating the food that she’s cooked for you or you’re in the mood for sex. It would be funny how happy you are to let her clean up after you if it wasn’t so damn sad. She’s supposed to be your girlfriend, not your mother.

She wonders why she even bothers. What’s the point? She’s barely even in a relationship with you, anyway. You don’t seem to care. You don’t seem to take much notice of her. You certainly don’t treat her anything like she deserves to be treated. Deep down, she knows that.

You sit there, playing video games or playing games on your phone. You’re not interested in hanging out with her. You don’t make her laugh, or engage with her, and you never seem to be present anymore, even when the two of you are on a date. 

When was the last time you did anything thoughtful for her? She can’t even remember. It’s nothing like the early days, when you made an effort in order to impress her. Now that you’ve got her, you’ve let the mask slip off entirely. 

She wonders why she’s even with you. It’s not like you bring much to her life. You ignore her most of the time. She wonders if you even realize how close she is to breaking up with you. Probably not. You don’t seem to realize a whole lot about anything. 

It’s like you assume that just because you’re together now, you’ll always be together. It’s as if you don’t realize that the more you ignore her, the more you’re just showing her what life would be like without you. She realizes more and more every day that you don’t really bring anything to her life. You don’t make her feel special. You don’t make her laugh. You don’t even really make her smile. She’s basically single; if anything she feels burdened by you when she could be with a man who would treat her properly.  

Every day, she gets that bit closer to leaving you and going it alone. And the funny thing is, you won’t even see it coming.

Written by Maverick, Staff writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc. ©


20 Comments

  1. Gunther June 15, 2020 Reply

    That entire article needs to be addressed to women who ignore and/or belittle their men. It is a two way street.

  2. Evelyn McCord June 15, 2020 Reply

    That is so very true

  3. Bridget June 15, 2020 Reply

    This was me. I left him, it’s been one week. The burden and sadness has lifted.

  4. Karen G. June 15, 2020 Reply

    Yes, I agree: it is a two-way street. You reap what you sow, and thoughtfulness goes a long way.

    As a woman approaching 70, who has been married for 45 years to the same wonderful guy, I can tell you that the most disheartening and hurtful thing that is reinforced into the psyche of a woman every single day, is for her to do 100% of the housework with zero help from the man who claims to love her. I saw this happen to my mother, and I was determined I wouldn’t let it happen to me.

    Men, do you want your wife or girlfriend to know for sure that your love is real? Do you want her to adore you? Then clean up after she makes you a beautiful dinner. Put the leftovers away. Help out with the dishes. Don’t just eat and run off, leaving the mess in her lap to deal with. Why? Because doing that shows disrespect for her labor and the love she put into making the meal. Yes, (surprise!) making a complete meal, often in a hot kitchen, is labor, especially at the end of a hard day.

    Always thank her for the dinner, even if it wasn’t her best ever. Surprise her when she’s standing at the sink or counter, by snuggling up to her from behind, wrapping your arms around her waist. Give her a kiss on the neck and say, “Thank you for dinner.” And then DON’T ask or expect sex in return!! Believe me, women aren’t stupid. They learn from experience — just like Pavlov’s Dog and the Bell — that the butter-up from you is a prelude to a request for sex. If she ONLY gets the attention and affection and help from you when you have something to gain from her — She. Will. Learn. To. Resent. You. And eventually, you will be on the receiving end of disrespect and her cold shoulder, and you will wonder what the hell happened.

    You see, she’s not your mother, boys. She’s supposed to be your darling, the love of your life. Don’t just tell her; SHOW HER you love her through your thoughtfulness. Most, not all, women are natural nurturers and caregivers; they want to take care of others, and they do it well. This is how they show their love. And men typically show their love — sometimes — by bringing home the money, paying the rent and taking care of the vehicles.

    Okay, so that being said, many women are holding down two jobs — one, as the only person caring for the needs of the home and the people in it, and her other job, outside the home, often full time — while their spouses or boyfriends have one job. Even if the woman doesn’t work outside the home, believe me, keeping a home clean and well organized with the fridge and pantry stocked, is work. Yes, work. There is a saying, “A man may work from sun to sun, but a woman’s work is never done.”

    Dreaming up and preparing interesting meals — Every — Single — Day — day after day, year after year (in my case 45 years), is not a pleasure cruise for most women. Some love it, but most find it mundane eventually. Add children to the mix, and life for any woman can become exhausting, especially if the woman sees clearly that her man isn’t really “in it” with her; that she’s in fact on her own and can’t really count on him, for sure, to be there to help carry her load in times when she’s too tired or not feeling well. Why? Because, her man has never bothered to learn how to do laundry, thoroughly vacuum or clean a toilet or a shower, or make a meal other than opening a can of soup. Why? Because she’s done it for him, just like his mother, yet she’s not his mother and never wanted to be treated as such. But he thinks, “Hey, it’s her job, right? It’s a woman’s work.”

    If this scenario and attitude become what she learns to expect from him, she will eventually feel unappreciated, alone, and unloved and used in the relationship. And over the years, believe me, disappointment and resentment are likely to stew insider her, because no woman wants to be a man’s unappreciated housemaid who only makes nice with her when he wants sex.

    So, if you’re that guy who neglects being observant and looking for opportunities to demonstrate your love by helping your woman when you see she’s tired or she says she’s not feeling well, you will be cultivating an unhappy relationship that may blow up in your face. No woman will put up with it forever, especially when she turns fifty; that’s when woman hits the empowerment point of middle age and has her wake-up call.

    There is a saying: Sex begins in the kitchen.

    This is true.

    Do-Your-Part Rules For A Happy Home

    If you take it out, put it back.
    If you open it, close it.
    If you drop it, pick it up.
    If you dirty it, clean it.
    If you’ve worn it, hang it up.
    If you sleep in it, make it up.
    If you empty it, refill it.
    If you have no use for it, discard it.

    That’s it.

  5. Ric Gardiner June 15, 2020 Reply

    Women are givers and will give back 10x more than what you give them so be sure to give honor and respect.

  6. Gunther June 16, 2020 Reply

    Ran into too many women who are takers not givers except to give out misery to even their own friends

    • Natali June 16, 2020 Reply

      Gunther,
      I have been a giver than a taker to only one man that I ran into many years back. But, I gave my whole self to my last man only to learn that he put me in the same basket as other ones that he had run into.

      Therefore, it really depends on who you run into and what your faith really is in this life.

  7. Gunther June 17, 2020 Reply

    Natali, I stand by with what I have stated. Depends on who you run into? Yeah, like many of us have choice to avoid meeting those bad people in your life. I dropped out of religion years ago, after putting up with all the garbage people shove down my throat about praising the Lord on Sunday while these same people stabbed you in the back come Monday.

    • Natali June 17, 2020 Reply

      Gunther, I think I understand where you are correct from, but it is not really relevant to the topic here.

      But thanks for sharing!

    • Natali June 17, 2020 Reply

      Gunther, I think I understand where you are coming from, but it is not really relevant to the topic here.

      But thanks for sharing!

  8. Paul eisendrath June 20, 2020 Reply

    Sometimes its always the opposite

    • jenna June 22, 2020 Reply

      Im not picky…the little things are what matters most… unfortunately my boy friend of 6months hasn’t figured that one out yet maybe in hopefully another 6months if we last he will…

      • Natali June 24, 2020 Reply

        If he has given you such low- confidence that you are letting him decide how long you both will last, then you need to turn the table as soon as possible before he exploits you any further.

        He is feeding off of you and your simple mind. The longer you stay with him, the more he will get closer to fishing for another one.

  9. Gunther June 20, 2020 Reply

    Natali. It is relevant because how people treated each other in their own families when they were growing up and treating others in school and in the workplace will usually show how they will treat their spouses and their kids when they get married and have their own families. There are exceptions to the rule of course.

  10. John June 21, 2020 Reply

    People live there Life like there is One important person themselves. There fore if You choose to Run with LOSERS that is what you get. Step up get Yourself right than Let GOD bring you your soulmate. I agree that if you need it believe it is yours and God will provide. I am 58 yrs old. Been soulmated for 18 yrs and back to Religion because without God you get the bs of life. You reap what you sow,it is so true. If your in a Bad Church move to another church it is not Religion that’s bad it is the people in That Church. Great Church are out there. Not necessarily big Church but small churches that do Great things. It is better to Show love than to show arrogance.
    Love is a Two way street that must be Shown that way. One way love ends in a Dead relationship.
    Love is a Action given by two People to Each other Forever. If you want one way lust pay a pro.
    Don’t use you wife/girlfriend as a DOOR MAT JUST FOR SEX.
    Love breeds love lust kill life.
    This Article can go both ways . Put it on a man’s life with rent vehicles and yard work same thing.

  11. Gunther June 22, 2020 Reply

    @ John, life is BS even if you have God in your life. You have more religious leaders in America featherbedding their own lives instead of trying to improve the lives of people in America. More and more Europeans are dropping out of religion; however, they didn’t wait for God to change their lives. They went out and invested in their communities and now Europe particularly Northern Europe, the people have one of the highest standards of living for the last 75 years. Can you say that about America? The answer is no.

    You reap what you sow? Yeah right, and how many of the poor people were asks whether they wanted to be born in a poor family or not? You have wealthy people and the top religious people are twisting the Bible around to justify why the poor people deserve to be poor.

  12. C J August 11, 2020 Reply

    Karen G,
    Many thanks, you are really wise and fortunate to have a soul mate in your husband.

  13. Deborah August 17, 2020 Reply

    This is actually talking about me. I tried talking to my boyfriend about but he said o was nagging while all i was waiting for was sorry. He wont even call he cant make it, i will wait all day for me. Call and text for days without returning my calls or replying my text.

  14. Hope September 6, 2020 Reply

    Gunther I absolutely agree with you. Well except I personally think it should include both men and women really like this quote however I

    I thought that the comment section on “lessons learned in life” should be a place to do just that!

  15. Hope September 6, 2020 Reply

    Personally I think it should include both men and women. Natali dismissing Gunther’s comment the way you did was just rude and out of line. You shared your opinion and he has the right to do the same. You brought up faith but then thought it was irrelevant for him to explain why he feels that way?? We ALL as individuals have the right to share our personal opinions, life experiences or even our religious beliefs, that doesn’t make anyone wrong or irrelevant! This could be a good place to be supportive and understanding, not to judge those who don’t have the same opinion or share the same beliefs. I agree with Gunther and don’t think he or anyone else should feel like they have to defend their personal opinion. In my opinion those “losers” John mentioned are everywhere unfortunately. Even in church!
    But regardless, both men AND women can be equally guilty of ignoring and under-appreciating. Either way it’s still hurts

    @Karen G I loved reading your story! I have much respect for you and think you are an amazing woman! Thank you for sharing

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