If you can’t commit to her, let her go.

If you can’t commit to her, let her go.


Stringing along a woman who likes you just because you can is one of the lowest things you can do. If you’re not prepared to fully invest yourself in the relationship, tell her. Don’t lead her on. Don’t let her think you see a future with her when you know you’re really only in it for the short term.
She’s a person, not an object.
If you’re only thinking about yourself and how you can benefit from her without considering her feelings or how the situation will affect her, you’re a selfish a**hole at worst and incredibly immature at best. Grow up – she’s a human being, not something you can use for your pleasure and throw away when you’re done. Think about how would you feel if you were really into someone who was only leading you on, only letting you think you had a chance to really be with them when in reality they didn’t care about you all that much. Think about how crushed you would feel when they suddenly told you out of the blue that they just didn’t see you that way, that they didn’t want a future with you after months of letting you think that they did.
Be clear about what you want.
If you don’t see a future with her, then you need to let her know. Whether the two of you decide to break things off or stay together in the short term is up to you, but she needs to know the truth. Be clear with her about how you feel, about the way you see her fitting into your life. Is it as a fling, or is it as your future wife and the mother of your children? Either way, she deserves to know the reality of the situation.
What’s the point in staying in a relationship with someone if you don’t want to commit to being with them forever? If you only see you and her as a short-term thing before someone better comes along and you switch partners, you’re wasting her time as well as yours. If you don’t see a future with her, tell her. Let her know now, rather than in a few months or years. It’s better to rip the band-aid off quickly, to give her time to heal. The longer you’re together, the more it will hurt when you eventually decide the time is right to break up with her.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. It’s all too easy to feel like there’s someone else out there that could be better for you, or like there’s something missing from your relationship.  If you have a great woman by your side, someone who’s there for you, listens to you, and loves you, think very carefully before throwing it all away.
But if you know you can’t commit to her, do the right thing and tell her. Let her know how you feel before she starts dreaming of a future with you that she can never have. Give her the opportunity to find someone who will love her the way she deserves.
Either commit to her, or let her go.
Written by Maverick, Staff writer for Lessons Learned In Life Inc.

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  1. While I completely agree with ‘Letting her go if you can’t commit to her’, I believe in the world of dating can sometimes take 5 or more dates to get to know someone in different settings and situations and learn if there is truly a spark and a future. Not all couples fall in love instantly and at times people grow closer together gradually.
    My point is that there are times when a man isn’t intentionally being an a**hole by continuing to date someone, but is rather investing additional time to find out whether that person is ‘the one’ or not. Yes, feelings may get hurt a lot more if you pull the plug after 8 dates instead of 2, but isn’t it worth giving a relationship a fair shot rather than giving up too soon?

  2. What about if you’re together for 3 months. He tells her he loves her every day. Asks to stay with her, moves clothes in, toiletries etc. Plans a future with her.Asks her to promise never to leave him. Then suddenly, out of the blue says he doesn’t want her any more. Used to being alone. Doesn’t love her, never did, and doesn’t care that he’s hurt her. Is he an asshole then??

  3. Why do we run of our good luck in relationships when we see it.Some people intentionally want to be miserable and unhappy, they consciously choose a partner who is giving them the red flags right from the start.And that’s what they stick with just to find that this person has been wronging them and abusing their trust.Thats how it is from ancient times and that’s how it still is … Just that once upon a time there was society and personal dignity in responsibility to the family matters, which now is completely gone!

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