If you can’t commit to her, let her go.
Stringing along a woman who likes you just because you can is one of the lowest things you can do. If you’re not prepared to fully invest yourself in the relationship, tell her. Don’t lead her on. Don’t let her think you see a future with her when you know you’re really only in it for the short term.
She’s a person, not an object.
If you’re only thinking about yourself and how you can benefit from her without considering her feelings or how the situation will affect her, you’re a selfish a**hole at worst and incredibly immature at best. Grow up – she’s a human being, not something you can use for your pleasure and throw away when you’re done. Think about how would you feel if you were really into someone who was only leading you on, only letting you think you had a chance to really be with them when in reality they didn’t care about you all that much. Think about how crushed you would feel when they suddenly told you out of the blue that they just didn’t see you that way, that they didn’t want a future with you after months of letting you think that they did.
Be clear about what you want.
If you don’t see a future with her, then you need to let her know. Whether the two of you decide to break things off or stay together in the short term is up to you, but she needs to know the truth. Be clear with her about how you feel, about the way you see her fitting into your life. Is it as a fling, or is it as your future wife and the mother of your children? Either way, she deserves to know the reality of the situation.
What’s the point in staying in a relationship with someone if you don’t want to commit to being with them forever? If you only see you and her as a short-term thing before someone better comes along and you switch partners, you’re wasting her time as well as yours. If you don’t see a future with her, tell her. Let her know now, rather than in a few months or years. It’s better to rip the band-aid off quickly, to give her time to heal. The longer you’re together, the more it will hurt when you eventually decide the time is right to break up with her.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. It’s all too easy to feel like there’s someone else out there that could be better for you, or like there’s something missing from your relationship. If you have a great woman by your side, someone who’s there for you, listens to you, and loves you, think very carefully before throwing it all away.
But if you know you can’t commit to her, do the right thing and tell her. Let her know how you feel before she starts dreaming of a future with you that she can never have. Give her the opportunity to find someone who will love her the way she deserves.
Either commit to her, or let her go.
Written by Maverick, Staff writer for Lessons Learned In Life Inc.