If he really wanted you, he’d be with you.

If he really wanted you, he’d be with you


Sometimes the truth can be a tough pill to swallow, but it’s better to face the facts and accept reality than to drag yourself on with false hope and excuses, dreaming of a future that will never come true.

If he really wanted you, he’d be with you.

If he genuinely wanted you in his life, as his partner, as his future wife, then he’d make you a priority. He’d treat you with respect and devotion, not indifference. He’d go out of his way to show you how much you mean to him and how you’re always on his mind – not make you an afterthought. If he’s not showing you he wants you in his life, telling you he wants to be with you, then it’s time to give up on the dream and to start the process of moving on. It’s better to rip the band-aid off quickly than to peel it off slowly. You’ll only end up hurting more in the long run.

So many women make the mistake of hanging on, of dreaming of a second chance or a change of heart or mind. They sit and pine for weeks or months, wishing he’d come back to them, wishing he’d see how good they could be together and what they could have. The harsh truth is that if he wanted to be with them, he would. If he’s ever going to come back, then it will happen regardless of how much time you spend chasing him or hoping for him to change his mind. If they don’t want to be with you, let them go.

Sometimes it can be harder to let go than others. If he’s an asshole, or manipulative, or childish, it’s much easier to wrap your head around the thought of being without him. But when he’s a genuinely good guy, who only wants the best for both of you and is trying his best to do the right thing, it’s a whole other story. It often hurts that much more knowing what a great guy he is and how good you could be for each other. No matter how much you love him, or how much he tells you he loves you; No matter how much fun you had together, how well he treated you, or how many nights you spent lying awake and talking or laughing together until the sun came up, he doesn’t want to be with you. And that’s okay, because one day you’ll find someone who does – but it’s not him.

We often try to tell ourselves during a breakup that it’s not the end. It’s normal to try and reassure yourself, to tell yourself that he needs space, and that given time he’ll change his mind, or that all you need to do is convince him or make him see things from a different perspective and he’ll come around. It’s usually not that simple, however. If he doesn’t know in his heart, just as strongly as you do, that he wants you in his life, then it’s not meant to be.

Many women seem to make the mistake of believing that their partner should be the core component of their life, something that the rest of their existence is built around. Live your life for you. Learn to be enough for yourself, and to be comfortable with and happy in your own company. You’ll find that true love happens when you stop searching for it and become enough for yourself. Let him go, move on, and live life for yourself. You don’t need anyone. You will find someone, the right person, when the time is right.

Written by Maverick, Staff writter

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  1. Wow! As I sit here crying for what has gone this came in my in-box which I checked in the hope that it was an email from the person who I love so dearly but does not want me. Timing! Very true but still difficult to stop the tears. Thank you. 🙏

  2. Thank you so much for this sad but true article
    My ex partner left me 3 weeks ago tomorrow. Things hadn’t been that good but nothing that we couldnt sort out.
    Got a message off him last night to tell me he’s seeing someone else. Like I was physically punched in the stomach. However time to let him go.

  3. Good read. However, lets reverse the rolls and look at it from a man being in this situation.
    Just saying!
    And for those wondering, yes, I am going through the above.

    1. Firemen are the most disappointing of all. Cant be decent enough to tell the truth despite hurting another so very badly. No better than any other man as they all lie and cheat in the end. Serial daters sitting on dating sites !!!

  4. That writting been on the wall for me for a while. But you can’t see red flags when you are wearing Rose colored glasses. I’m going to miss him but the reality is I should of left him alone three years ago before my mother passed. I just figured since I moved into my own place that it would put me on equal ground if there was any. I was friends with him first so I knew of him. I do believe now I am to good for him. He seen me go from not having to having in a short period of time. I do believe he was intimidated. It’s cool. It was something I wanted to do and now I got my bearings and focusing on school, I can completely tirny back. If I need to see how he is doing, I can go on multi media to check of his where abouts if need be. It’s slowly becoming irrelevant.

  5. Going through this right now. Not really having too much of a hard time, but we’ve been on and off for 10 months and just didn’t treat me right. He didn’t make me a priority and he was very self-centered and selfish, but yet, as much as I know he’s no good for me and I need to move on… it’s not easy, but getting better. He left me and that’s a bitter pill to swallow, but I’ll be ok… I always am ❤

  6. Waited more then 3 years…. and he never choose me… always had an excuse. This article is so true, my friends said it to me repeatedly.. but I didnt listen…

  7. i am also going to true similar thing.we have 3 kids together but still can’t make effort or interest to me.

  8. It’s true, but it’s very hard. I have loved him for 15 years up to now and I still love him. It was 6 years ago I last spoke to him, but I have always hoped he will always love only me, and will return to me because I was his first love, and he couldn’t forget me. He even left for another country in order to forget me. Then he returned, one day we met in a supermarket, he looked at me for a very long time, and then I heard that he had left for another city. Again I started to hope. But I was shocked when two days ago my best friend told me that she was going to marry, I was very happy for her, but when I learnt who the boy was I was shocked and speechless. I don’t know why he chose to marry my best friend (she doesn’t know that once we dated, I kept it a secret from the others as I hoped he would return, and I got acquainted with my friend at work 2 years ago), and why they are going to get married so soon, for it’s only ten days they have known each other, they spoke to each other for 6 days on the phone and they have dated 4days, and they are already planning to marry very soon.He gives her roses every day, but he had given me none when we were together. The most shocking news is that she has invited me to their wedding. What shall I do??? How to forget him (he is the only boy I have loved since my teen years, many boys were in love with me, but I rejected them in the hope of his return???? How can I go to their wedding and pretend that I don’t know him, and pretend that I am happy for my best friend, as she is getting married???
    My heart is breaking into tiny pieces like crystal, there is no air for me to breathe, I wanna die, vanish like an autumn leaf… I can’t stop crying as my tears are falling a waterfall… please, who’s there help me, I wanna live, I don’t wanna put an end to my life,but I can’t, I am weak. Please help me anyone, if I kill myself, they will continue to live happily, but I won’t… please….

    1. Hope is never lost…no man is worth that much anguish. There are many fish in the sea, and ones that will give you roses maybe, but by the way that doesn’t always mean anything…people show love in different ways…not necessarily with roses.
      Talk to someone, a professional or a friend you can trust. God loves you and so do many people. You are not alone, and with time you will forget this man and look back on this period in your life and wonder why you cared about him so much. Hang in there! xx

  9. Be brave. I know it’s hard! I am where you are. It’s not my best friend but instead a little girl I met a few years ago, who’s now 21 and a 1st cousin!. I constantly cry and want to throw up all at the same time. 7 years I have loved him. He was my best friend and we did everything together, he was like a Son to my Mom and I was tossed aside like a piece of garbage and now, he seems like a predator to me. Very very hard to deal, I know!!!, but you hang on and know that God sees you and your heart and will carry us both. Our hearts do not go unnoticed. They go unnoticed by people who don’t have hearts. I heard a saying recently, “The Trash will let itself out.” We need to carry on to help others and maybe, one day, we’ll find happiness, but we have to try our best. I read your horrific story. I care. I feel you.

  10. I can’t seem to move on, I always slide back to him it’s been a year now💔💔💔I hate the day I allowed him to be part of my life i hate the fact that I still love him

  11. Oh wow! this came when I needed it the most. I didnt sleep a wink last night, I am missing my ex so sad. I left a good guy only yo land in the hands on a narc, I regret that so much. I know I cant turn back the hands of time, but man it felt so good to be loved onced upon a time. As I seat in my desk awaiting a good morning form my ex because we are in constant communication, my gut tell me its time to set him free. I love him to the core. I left him because I was angry, he said he will cange he didnt know he hurt me but I refused to give him a chance. He texted me and said we can make it work but I refused because I was drunk inlove with the love bombarding tactics from the narc. I knew that he will sink into depression because he loved me with all that he had but suddenly love was not enough for me, I must admit i had become a selfish wreck. there were times I misread so many situations and arguements. I thought he hated me but no he actually loved me. I have wanted to commit suicide or murder a few times but he saved me from myself. I will eternally be grateful for the love he gave me, even though a part of me woud love to feel it just once more but i know now after reading the above….good bye my lover, you will always be in my heart

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