I no longer need you.

I thought it would be painful, letting you go.

I thought I would suffer, that my heart would be anguished with the loss of you. Or worse, maybe it would stop beating altogether.

Maybe without you, I would simply cease to exist.

I thought I would become adrift, for you had been the anchor I had formed my identity upon, the compass I had relied on for my direction. I thought without you I would become lost, disoriented.

I had expected to taste salty tears as they fell upon lips that once spoke so fondly of you; that my head would lay on my pillow damp with tears for as many nights as the moon continued to kiss the stars.

But one day, I just knew.

I hadn’t expected such a feeling of relief as I cut the ropes that once shackled me to you. One instant of tremendous clarity. One instant, where I finally knew.

I no longer needed you.

I no longer needed your opinion of me, your affirmation, your approval.

I no longer needed your judgments, your criticisms, your condemnations.

I no longer needed your expectations I could never meet; your hoops too high to jump through, your goal posts that shifted with every changing breeze.

I no longer needed your blame, your excuses, your justifications.

I no longer needed your pseudo love, fraught with conditions and attached with strings.

I thought I needed you. I didn’t.

I thought it would be hard to let you go. It wasn’t.

I thought I would miss you. I don’t.

For in one instant my heart was awakened to the truth of who I am.

I am more than the lies you made believe about myself. I am more than the look of failure in your eyes when I fell short of your demands. I am more than how worthless you made me feel. I am more than the ways you tried to break me.

I am a warrior, sculpted by the hands of creation, fashioned into being by the very hands that created the oceans and the stars and the mountains and air.

I am strong, I am brave, I am wise. I am gentle of spirit with the heart of a lioness.

I am creative, passionate, sensitive, and kind. I am of open heart and open mind. I am powerful, generous, thoughtful, daring, empathetic, raw, complex, courageous, understanding, forgiving.

I am everything you are not.

I will no longer carry the shame you made me suffer under the weight of.

That shame belongs to you.

And I will no longer carry my hate for you.

For that will only ever bind me to your darkness and give you permission to destroy my light. It will allow you to stay within me, to destroy my peace, to blacken my heart with the malice that lives within you.

It will tie me to your soul-destroying bitterness, your ugliness.

It will anchor me once more to you, who tried to drown me.

Instead, I will choose to go into the world and love more fiercely, show more compassion, be more generous, offer more kindness.

I will choose to forgive. For me, not for you.

I will choose to sow what I wish to see reaped for my children’s future.

I will choose to dis-empower hate.

I will choose freedom.

I will choose love.

I will stand firm upon the unshakeable truth of who I am.

And I will soar to heights you will only ever dream of.

For I have let you go.

No longer am I held down by all I allowed you to be in my life.

I no longer need you.

I am free.

Written by Kathy Parker

( with permission)

Kathy Parker is a Warrior. Dreamer. Creator. Writer. Fighter of all that is beautiful and good. Advocator for the underdog. Truth-teller. Empath. Passionate soul. Lover of land and ocean. Coffee drinker. Gentle spirit. Sensitive soul. Wild heart. Survivor. She is a freelance writer, blogger for HuffPost Australia, and columnist for elephant journal who is currently writing her first manuscript.

Married to a farmer in the Limestone Coast of South Australia, she is also a mother to four astonishing children.

Find out more about Kathy at her blog: https://kathyparker.com.au/

Related Articles


  1. Some times we feel like no one can understand us. Then we read something that hits so close to home like i could have written it.. Yea right i cant write.. but maybe in my head.. thanks you for putting how i feel on paper..

  2. Thank you for speaking on my behalf! You have said everything I ever wanted to say and more.
    You have restored my fight, my strength and my dignity! You have spoken for me and for all of us!!! Thank you

  3. Thank you Kathy for letting me truly understand the healthy meaning of letting go of someone I allowed to almost killed me with his lies and infidelities. I have been suffering for way too many year now ecause it’s time for me to open up to the beautiful possibilities that may still be awaiting for me in the life I have left. I do not want to give him one more moment of power over me. I let go and look forward to more independence, laughter, joy, happiness and maybe even true love again but so much better this time. Thank you for opening my eyes. God Bless.

  4. The tears I am crying are of joy and affirmation. Thank you so much for these empowering words.

  5. I wanted to bless you Kathy. I’m so related to what you wrote. I am a warrior… I honestly appreciate the gift you have and I honor you for this masterpiece.

  6. Put in front of me at the perfect moment. Thank you for sharing and letting me know their are many of us out there that need to realize we are not alone and that we can do this. Lynn

  7. Your story really decribes what I am going through, I felt as if I were writing this.And yes it does feel good to let go of something that made me feel as if it one mostly one sided,( my side) :-(. Thanks again for sharing your story.

  8. This was amazing, it was as if I had written it from my heart and soul. I want to frame it Nd read it daily.

    Thank you

  9. Thank you for putting into words exactly what my heart and head have gone through. Letting go I almost lost everything today I am blessed beyond measure not with money or material things, with the priceless gifts of serenity, peace and love for self that I had lost so many years ago. I have scars on the inside but I am a warrior! beautiful your talent of writing thank you

  10. I have been heart broken so that I dont want to love again.. im scared to let someone in my life and expose me again, and not love me for my flaws and mistakes. I’m afraid that they’ll leave my life again and I’d have to see them happy and moved on while I am torn inside. The part where the author said to love even more is what I will do.

  11. Thanks Kathy for this. I was married to a man who abused me emotionally and physically and abused one of my children to where he almost died and then sexually abused my other child, he even cheated on me. He went away to prison for 10 years and when he got out for the life of me I don’t know what happened but I allowed him back into my life. I helped him get back on his feet and did so much more. Crazy to say, a part of me still loved him. I know kind of sick right? In the end, I learned that his own ways didn’t change as far as the way he spoke to me or his lies and doing things behind my back. I hurt my kids by allowing him in my life and the guilt I carry is deep. I hate myself for what I did and I’m glad he’s out of my life. With that, I need to learn how to forgive myself an heal.

  12. He was the biggest part of my life. I started out with him full of the joys of the world. I was a teenager. I had my 2 children to him and gave up my job to look after them He asked me if his mother could be the baby’s carer and I could go back to work.
    That was basically the end of the marriage when I said no I loved my baby and was desperate to be a mother to him..
    He wanted my wage which he managed to get out of me by being charming after he got what he wanted he would go back to the mental cruelty and physical. I started divorce proceedings after 2nd child was born because the violence was getting worse.
    But where is the man that I fell in love with.? Why does a part of me still

    love that man.? I dont know. But it haunts me.xx

  13. I couldn’t of said this any better, it shows up at the right time.
    I have been belittled all my life by a older sister. I walk on egg shells wondering what I’m going to say or do wrong in her eyes.
    So think you Kathy for these beautiful words that is giving me a uplift in life.

  14. Wow. Very inspiring and it is full of power,the power to fight for yourself and for your mental freedom. This would be great to copy and paste it on my wall where it is visible to remind of yourself of how powerful you are. Thanks a lot Kathy

  15. I love this and will apply it to how my sister’s husband treats me. I unfortunately have to deal with him as long as he is married to my sister, but I can still choose my own happiness and freedom over spending my time being upset about the things he has said and done to me since he got together with my sister.

    I do my best to speak about him as little as possible, but he is also my nephew’s dad. And my nephew considers me his third parent; our bond is something I will always fight for, even as my sister’s husband undermines me, belittles me, lies about me, and does everything he can to destroy my relationships with both my nephew and my sister.

    Okay. I need to re-read your wonderful empowering words. 🙂

  16. Hi. Thank you!! Can’t say anything but as if your talking to me. Your words, so deep. I am at my weakest point right now with my relationship.

    And yes! I am on the process of not needing someone to be in my life.

    “I am strong, I am brave, I am wise. I am gentle of spirit with the heart of a lioness.”

    Thanks! xoxo

  17. I needed this today! I am finally free. I have been going through heartache and hurt. It has been a long journey of recovery. Being isolated because no one knows how to deal with your burden is just as painful. I pray for those who are hurting and feeling the weight of life in their shoulders.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Back to top button
%d bloggers like this: