Don’t make them wait too long – why you’ll end up losing someone who waited for you.

Don’t make them wait too long – why you’ll end up losing someone who waited for you.

It’s a story as old as time – two people meet and fall in love, but one person decides they need time to figure out exactly what they want. Whether it’s focusing on their career, working through personal issues, or figuring out whether or not they want to start a family, the outcome is often the same. They decide to make their partner wait while they try to sort through their issues.

The problem with this is that everyone has a breaking point. Some people will wait longer than others, but eventually even the most loyal, patient people will get tired of being an afterthought. Being put second in someone’s life and being made into less of a priority always stings. It’s only a matter of time before the person being made to wait realises they deserve someone who will put them first. Not even love is strong enough to bridge the distance that comes with being made second choice.

Being kept in the twilight zone that exists somewhere between committing to the relationship and breaking up is an exhausting experience. It means spending time and energy on a person who you’re not even sure wants you in their life anymore.

You can’t keep someone waiting indefinitely while you figure things out. It’s unfair to expect them to wait when you have no idea how long it will take you to work through your problems.

Either commit to the relationship or turn them loose – whatever you decide to do, it’s important to follow through with your decision. Keeping someone in the gray area almost always leads to prolonged hurt and heartbreak. Keep them waiting, and there’s a very good chance that they’ll end up making the decision for you.

Written by Maverick - Staff Writer.

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  1. This is why it’s so important to understand how attraction works. Usually when a person has “something they need to work out” it’s because they’re not feeling completely attracted. This often happens when one person is putting too much energy into the relationship, it becomes unbalanced or the other person begins to feel smothered. To counter this, the other person needs to back off, give that person space and get on with enjoying their own life.

    When you’re suddenly not as available and seemingly have an interesting life, it often will re-engage the other person’s curiosity and interest. Good – keep doing what you’re doing, in reality you are responsible for fulfilling yourself, don’t leave this up to someone else. If this doesn’t regain their interest, they’re really more interested in themselves and you’re better off focusing on developing yourself and your own interests to attract a more appropriate partner. Ideally you will be with someone who has similar character and values and is moving in the same direction with similar goals.

  2. Can’t make someone wait to lie ng if they are not true to you….

    Just a figment of you dreams, sad…

  3. and thats why the ex and i are now divorced.
    In a marriage separation here you are required to spend one year totally apart before you can apply for a divorce.
    when we separated she went on about not knowing who she was anymore wanting to take some time to know herself etc etc… and went on at me for wanting to talk things through to try to resolve things get help whatever was needed as me wanting “closure” which was the furtherest thing from my mind…
    I waited not 1 year not 2 not even 4 or 7 but I waited 9 years before submitting the papers to set the divorce on its way through the system. 9 years of a living hell still married to a person who refused to talk about anything with me but willing to talk about everything with her mother father sister and uncle but not her husband and father of our 8 children.
    There came a time when I realized that I was nothing in her life and that in all that time she had not once made the slightest effort to contact me over anything.

    Yet… the few contacts we had had she would say things like “I didnt mean it to go like this” on one year and “I thought we would sell both houses and buy one together at some point” the next other times she would say she “didnt want need or desire me in her life anymore” or other times “I dont love you like that anymore” she learnt to play my emotions every time she saw me she would wait a few seconds to see how i was the mood i was in and that would determine what she would say… until I stopped seeing her when visiting the kids and grandkids until i stopped asking after her whenever i came down to see them until I realize that it had been 5 years since either of us had uttered even two words to each other in all that time… no messages no phone text no emails not a single word and that was it, it was time to divorce walk away and get on with my life

    I have seen her once since the divorce over a year ago now and well Im happy its done and Im able to be in the same air space without her impacting on me in anyway… I knew divorce would cut her out of my life completely and so it has

    but yes there is only so long one can wait… one can only be a secondary thought to another for just so long… one can only be depressed and sad about the loss of a love for so long and when that time comes the reality is that they stepped out of my life for whatever reason they may have had or thought they had and chose to remain out of it and they have the right to the choice to do that… so divorce and wish them well and get on with life and love again!! 🙂

  4. My boyfriend still claims him as single in social media even after one and half years of dating.He never talks about a living together relationship and he says it should happen naturally when I asked him if he ever thought about it.I love him so much and miss him when he is not around me.He was married to times before and had few relationships before me.I started questioning myself now if he really loves me how come he doesn’t want me to share his life. All I want is to share my life with him and wake up everyday next to him. This article made me cry as I find it is exactly what I am going through.

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