When What Comes to Break Us, Actually Saves Us.

When What Comes to Break Us, Actually Saves Us.


You were left so shattered by him; the way he tore in like a hurricane and ripped everything from you –  your heart, your worth, your confidence, your hope.


You wondered how you would piece yourself together again when only broken remains lay your feet. Dazed, you picked them up, examined them, tried to place them side by side and make them fit. But they no longer did. Who you used to be was nowhere to be found in the wreckage he left behind; the only thing left was the grief over everything you had lost, everything he had taken from you, everything you once were and would never be again.


Through tears and regrets your weak hands fumbled in the mess that surrounded you; here and there you would pick up what few pieces you could find and hold them close to your chest until you eventually had enough to rebuild something of the life you once had.


You placed the pieces before you and stared at the chaos, defeated.


But soon, you began to notice the way the haphazard curves of the lines no longer looked amiss, but instead, wild and untamed. The way the colours and patterns came together not in a mess of confusion, but in a mosaic of abstract beauty. The way the cracks and flaws seemed less like weakness, and more like art; profound and perfect in their own right.


Filled with hope, you continued to dig through the remains, only using the best pieces to rebuild with; the pieces that were strong and resilient and beautiful and brave. Pieces you had once loved, but that had been lost and discarded by his careless hands.


Most importantly, pieces that carried no remnant of him.  


You built until you were whole again; stronger than you had ever been, put back together with courage and resilience and worth and strength and the wisdom of one who has survived the storm.


From the brokenness came something new.


This is what we learn from those who break us.  


That after the destruction, there is always the transformation.


And one day, my love, you will come to understand the beauty of a hurricane.


That sometimes what comes to break us, is actually what saves us.


Written by Kathy Parker

( with permission)

Find out more about Kathy at her blog: https://kathyparker.com.au/


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  1. Yes there were tears and lots of regrets. I did pick up the peices. I am so better off now and proud of myself for what I thought I could never do. I learned I am worth it. I learned to love myself again. I learned never to be someone’s puppet again. I could go on and on. I am just thankful that I am healing from this farse I was involved in. So many sinister games he played. I am free of him. My angels in heaven saved me from him. My family has been by my side through this whole horrible mess. NO CONTACT EVER AGAIN IS THE ANSWER TO DEAL WITH EBIL ONES SUCH AS HE!

  2. Yess I my heart is overjoyed to read one my story of a rebuilding, renovation, renewing, restoral of one self who made it out of the storm alive. Better is to come. Better than better is to follow. Congratulations. Stay encouraged and don’t look back.

  3. This whole post described everything i went through. After the relationship was over, it took me about 6 to 9 months before i was able to pick myself up and try to start living again. I spent 17 years with this man, and all he did was completely destroy the person i used to be. He thought he won this battle, which he did at first. However i slowly rebuilt the new me whi is stronger then i ever was before. He is now alone by himself no one to tske care of him like i did, and there will not be anyone to do it, cause he has nothing to offer anyone. I, on the other hand will meet the right person, and live happily ever after. He got exactly what he deserves, not a damn thing. I made it through the storm, and came out on top. I’m a whole new person, I’m very proud of the women I’ve become today, and it was worth it.

  4. Cowardice is a trait wherein fear and excessive self-concern override doing or saying what is right, good, and of help to others or oneself in a time of need. it is the opposite of courage and identified by playing safe.

    I am seeing this in people who prefer to struggle but not enough dare to pick up the phone make a call and finish everything once for all. After all being open and talking is no crime and no one punishes for it.

    But EGO self concern and…. ughhh!!!

  5. We need to learn from kids today. They are daring and express their opinion and likings so loud and clear. Which we so called matured and grown ups have no guts to do. Young boys leave no stone unturned to communicate and challenge the parents of girlfriends about their future and likes dislikes. They are so clear which i appreciate and they seem to draw lot of energy and guts to face the parents. Where aere we what we doing lets learn…

  6. Funny thing too is the guy I was with referred to my children as snot nosed brats. He needs to look at who is a brat. They were children then and he was the adult. What a joke he stomped around here like a baby when he didn’t get his way.Whew what a farse that was.

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