To encourage you to keep going.
To remind you to be strong.

Published on September 29, 2019 in Blog1, Picture Quotes, Revive
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Check up on your strong friend. They’re usually the one bleeding in silence.

 

She sits alone by the window, with the weight of the world pressing down on her shoulders. She picks up her phone and reads her messages, but not one of them asks her if she’s okay. 

She’s always checking up on people, but no one ever seems to realize that she might need help too. She appears strong because of how much she cares, because of how often she’s there for the people who need her. But deep inside, she’s crumbling, and no one even seems to notice. 

She needs help, but there’s no one there to give it to her.

She doesn’t respond as much to the messages she gets, anymore. She stays home more often. Her life shrinks in on her, until it’s all she can do to drag herself to work and back every day. People say that they miss her, that they haven’t seen her in ages and that she isn’t as active online as she used to be, but still no one asks if she’s okay.

She wonders what she’s done wrong. She wonders why no one’s worried about her. Why is it that the people she’s been so quick to check up on when they’ve seemed quiet in the past are so reluctant to reach out and make sure she’s okay?

She feels lonelier day by day. The walls close in around her. She thought her friends cared, so why have they abandoned her? In the back of her mind, she knows that they care about her. But it gets harder to convince herself of that when dusk falls every night and the inevitable, overwhelming feelings of isolation and loneliness set in. 

Her thoughts become more and more negative, and she finds it harder to rationalize the more she drops out of her life. Slowly, she becomes a shell of a person. The flicker of light at the end of the tunnel begins to fade away as she loses hope.

She knows why no one reaches out. She knows why no one seems to be worried. It’s not that they don’t care – it’s because they have her labelled as a strong person, and assume that she can handle any difficulty she faces. They completely overlook the fact that even ‘strong’ people need help too. 

All of her checking up on people has convinced them that she has her shit together too much to ever need help. Everyone just assumes that she’s fine. Meanwhile, the days grow darker and she grows weaker.

Everybody needs help. It’s hard enough trying to be there for people when they need a hand to hold onto to keep their head above water. It’s even harder when you’re drowning and there’s no one there to help you. 

Suicide rates have grown substantially over the last couple of decades, for both men and women. 

Check up on your friends, even those who seem strongest. You never know when they’ll need a helping hand unless you ask.

Written by Maverick, Staff writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc. ©

6 Comments

  1. Elizabeth Tallant October 5, 2019 Reply

    It only takes a moment to say hello and see how someone is doing.Even sending a joke, etc., by text, Messenger, Facebook, puts a smile on someone’s face. Everybody wants to receive things like this. I know bc I’ve often thought thoughts like these. I don’t tell of my situ’s bc I don’t want to be perceived as somebody that has my hand out. People can get irritated bc they can’t or don’t want to help, when all somebody wants is someone else to listen.

  2. Petya October 7, 2019 Reply

    This time, even i, have no words! I just want to ask you how have you been lately, i haven’t check you up for a longest i could remember!

  3. Dr. Tanweer October 20, 2019 Reply

    Absolutely right. We are here to help each other, the only purpose of life. Share with others all the blessings which God has bestowed upon you; your money, your time, your knowledge, your smile, etc to make this earth a better place for living. Find no reason to help others.

  4. InspiredN October 22, 2019 Reply

    Really a wonderful story. It’s impressive. We must know which of our friends are in need of us because everyone needs a true friend sometimes – when no one is there.

  5. Rayna October 24, 2019 Reply

    When you are the Strong One…or as I call myself “the fixer” – the one ppl call on when they are having problems, their kids are sick, marriage suffering, thru are stressed and tired. I’m the one showing up if you’re sick with the good tissues and homemade soup. The one starting The meal train when you’re going thru cancer treatments. The one watching and distracting your small children while you’re making funeral arrangements for your husband who just passed. Everyone assumes that I’m the strong one, I’ve got my shit together, look put together when I go out. But sometimes when I’m the one struggling… i think “who fixes the fixer?” When the darkness is sucking you in, the anxiety and stress of life is heavy. When there isn’t enough of you to go around, money is tight, you’re the one who is sick- they don’t come with the soup, the jokes, the offer of coffee dates so you can unload some of the burden by just taking though it. Because they think you’ve got it all together you don’t need that stuff, because you’re not broken or burdened – you can’t be – you’re the one they turn to. But even the fixer needs some fixing sometimes.

  6. Tracy Greaves November 6, 2019 Reply

    To be fair no one cares all my friends that i told my problems to and they are not even problems i was grieving and still am for my mum and 10 other people including my best friend in the last 3 years has been a lot and i got told i am toxic how to help depression , grief or what ever it is i am feeling. I am the one that always checks up on my friends when they feel like shit i have just learnt to suffer in silence. And now most days i cry myself to sleep. People don’t catch you when you are falling instead apparently i become self absorbed maybe so even when i said I feel like ending it just got told get a grip. Now got no one

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