To encourage you to keep going.
To remind you to be strong.

Archive for December, 2019

  • December 22, 2019
    1
    28

    To Everyone Missing A Loved One In Heaven This Holiday Season.

    Life can be a difficult and confusing experience at the best of times, but we know it at its worst when it comes to losing the people we love. Once we’ve grieved initially for someone that we’ve lost, our grief begins to subside somewhat. We become more adjusted to life without the person who used to be such a big part of it. It’s not like we move on and forget all about them, but we can once again see the beauty in life and feel as though it’s worth living. 
    After this point, the pain and grief that we feel for the person we’ve lost tends to come in waves. We have days where we feel relatively good and at peace, and days where our hearts break all over again and we fall apart. We never know which it’s going to be when we wake up in the morning. The smallest things can remind us of some distant memory; a familiar smell, a sound, a feeling inside us that takes us right back to those that we’ve lost. We remember what it was like to be in their presence, what it was like to laugh and joke with them, and the tears fall from our eyes as we think of the love that we shared with them, the love that we know we won’t feel again from them in this life.
    There are a few days every year, though, where the absence of our loved ones who have passed away hits us particularly hard; the holidays. 
    This is the time of year when we’re supposed to spend time with those that we love – a time for giving, a time for laughter, a time for love and happiness. It’s at these moments, when we’re full of feeling and surrounded by our friends and family, that the absence of those whom we sorely miss and would give anything to see one last time hits us hardest. 
    So, this is for you. This is for all those people with empty chairs and hollow hearts in the holiday season. Don’t try to push away the sadness or put on a brave face. Accept and honor the way you feel. Feel your negative feelings as strongly as you feel your positive ones, and know that they are just as significant and as full of meaning as any joy you could ever experience. 
    Then, when the pain of the moment has passed somewhat, be with the people that you love. Remember that life is always best lived when it’s lived in the moment, and that the people you’ve lost are looking down at you and wanting more than anything for you to have fun and enjoy the holidays with your family. Cherish the time you have with the people who are there, rather than letting yourself stay hung up on the people with whom you’ve had your time in the sun. Let yourself laugh, let yourself have fun. 
    Eat, drink, and be merry.  Remember that nothing lasts forever. Make the most of what’s right in front of you right now, because it will be gone before you know it.

    Written by Maverick, Staff writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc. ©

  • December 21, 2019
    1
    11

    7 Things To Remember When You Love a Person Who Has Depression.

     

    Depression is an extremely common disorder, affecting an estimated 300 million people worldwide. Chances are, either you or someone you love will experience some level of depression during the course of your life. 

    Depression is an unbelievably horrible state of mind to be in, and someone suffering from it can be fragile and unpredictable. Knowing how to handle delicate situations when someone is suffering from depression can make all the difference between them suffering even more and having some relief when they’re in your presence. 

    1. They’re not choosing to be depressed – although many people frequently believe otherwise, depression isn’t a choice. It’s not simply having a bad day or being in a bad mood – a person who is depressed can’t simply ‘get over it’ or pull themselves together. There are a number of different reasons why a person may become depressed. Often, a chemical imbalance in the brain is the cause; this is known as clinical depression, and is usually treated through medication aimed at re-balancing the level of serotonin in a person’s brain.

    People can also become depressed due to circumstances and events that take place in their life that significantly and negatively alter their mood, point of view, and outlook on things for an extended period of time. This form of depression can in many ways be harder to treat, requiring extensive therapy in order to re-frame a sufferer’s perspective on life and the difficult things that have happened to them. 

    This is why saying hollow phrases like ‘you just need to get out of the house / get some exercise / eat better / change your attitude / stop being depressed’ do nothing but make a person with depression feel even worse. Even if there is an element of truth to what you say, a person who is seriously depressed will not be able to reap the benefits from doing any of these things until they’ve had a real change in their perspective or the chemicals in their mind. If this hasn’t happened, saying things like this will only hurt them even more and make them feel useless and guilty for being unable to simply change the way they feel. 

    2) Being there for them in whatever way they need you is the best thing that you can do – people that are depressed tend to feel confused about how they are perceived by others. They often feel very strongly that they are alone and that they are a burden on the people around them, regardless of whether or not this is actually the case. The best thing that you can do for someone who is suffering from depression is to simply be there for them; not in any specific way, but connecting with them, one human to another.

    Rather than putting pressure on them to open up or seek help, focus on being a way for them to connect with another soul in the present moment. 

    Be right there with them when you’re around them, rather than being distracted and distant. Provide an environment for them to come out and share with you if they choose to do so. If they want to sit quietly, let them sit quietly. If they want to talk, then talk. Be the open, receptive, honest, compassionate person that they need you to be. Ask them how they’re doing, and let them know that they don’t need to answer. Simply being a way to anchor them with another soul in the present moment is all that you can do – the rest is up to them.

    3) It’s okay for you to feel frustrated – you’re only human, so honor that. The more annoyed at yourself and guilty you feel for being frustrated with the person that is depressed, the more your negative self-feeling will rub off on them. Instead of feeling bad for being frustrated, try to accept however you feel. When you do that, you can approach interactions with them in a very grounded and positive way – you’re just two imperfect human beings participating in a shared life, and there’s nothing whatsoever that is wrong with that or how you feel about it.

    4) How people treat you is a reflection of how they feel about themselves, rather than how they feel about you – this is an incredibly important lesson for us to learn, and it extends far beyond interacting with loved ones who are depressed. The way that people treat us reflects their interior feelings, the ones that they have to live with constantly. They project these out and externalize them on to the people they interact with, so don’t take it personally if a person suffering from depression is short or rude with you or pushes you away. Sometimes they need to push you away a bit before they can let you in closer, and that’s okay.

    5) Discussing and setting boundaries is important – being depressed doesn’t mean that someone has free reign to treat you however they please, and you shouldn’t have to put up with them walking all over you, taking advantage of you, or otherwise treating you badly. That’s why it’s so important to discuss boundaries in order to hammer out what is and isn’t acceptable, and what you will and won’t put up with. Discuss the personal boundaries that you wish to set, and then enforce them. At the end of the day, you need to look after yourself. Just because someone close to you is depressed doesn’t mean that you should suffer unnecessarily too.

    6) People with depression can become easily overwhelmed – when someone is depressed, they can easily become completely overwhelmed and frustrated by even the most minor of things. Depression isn’t weakness, but rather a state of mind where negative events and experiences become so heavily stacked and unbalanced that any tiny straw can break the camel’s back and unleash a wave of negative feelings at any moment. When a depressed person experiences a minor setback, they don’t just experience it in isolation like others do. Instead, they experience it through the filter of their depression, meaning a tidal wave of negativity and helplessness washes over them and leaves them choking and gasping for air.

    For example, when a mentally healthy person knocks over a glass of water, they clear it up. When a depressed person knocks over a glass of water, it’s just the latest in a very long string of gut punches grinding them into a more and more negative state of mind. They feel useless and tormented by life – each and every negative moment is torture. What many people mistake for weakness is actually the result of an extremely delicate and negative mental state that can be very easily agitated to the point of despair by relatively minor occurrences. 

    7) It’s not about you – many people make the mistake of taking other people’s depression personally. They think that because they are on the receiving end of a depressed person’s behavior that they are somehow to blame for how they feel. The truth is that depression is very complicated and is often the result of various interconnected factors. It’s not your fault, so don’t take it personally.

     

    Written by Maverick, Staff writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc. ©

  • December 20, 2019
    1
    17

    2019 — I’m Ready To Let You Go

     

    Each year that we experience is a new chapter in the book that is the story of our lives. I know that 2019 has been a strange and difficult year for many people, and this has been especially true for me. 
    I’m ready for something new. I’m ready to leave the past behind me where it belongs and embrace a new way of living in 2020. A new decade, a fresh opportunity, a new perspective on life.
    I know that we can’t control the things that happen to us, and I know that the difficulties and challenges that we go through are as full of meaning and opportunity for growth as the beautiful things that we experience. That’s why I try not to dwell on the turbulence of life any more than I need to – because I know it’s just as significant as the times when it’s all clear sailing.
    This year has taught me a lot. It’s been tough at times, but it’s made me into a better person. I’m ending this year feeling grateful, excited, and happy to be alive.
    So 2019, I’m ready to move on.
    It’s okay that you weren’t quite the year that I expected you to be. I’ve accepted that you taught me lessons that I needed to learn, when I needed to learn them, even if they might have been difficult to swallow at the time. I forgive you for the pain, the tears, and the sleepless nights; but I’m ready for something different.
    Thank you for the memories, and for the lessons that I’ve learned. You showed me the power that I’ve had locked away inside of me for so long. You showed me the meaning of resilience, of perseverance, of what it takes to make the experience of life something to be celebrated and enjoyed rather than feared.
    You gave out good times as well as bad. I’ve lived, laughed, and loved a lot this year, and that’s all that I could ever ask for. I’ve met new people, had new experiences, and made new memories that will last me a lifetime.
    You might not have been what I was hoping for, but you were exactly what I needed.
    Still, I’m sort of glad to see you go. I’m ready for something else, something new. I’m ready for a year full of adventure and fulfilling my potential, a year where I unlock my inner passion and channel it into life in every way that I can.
    So 2019, here’s to you. The best of times and the worst of times. 2020, let’s see what you have in store for me. I know that no matter what, it will be one hell of a ride.

     

    Written by Maverick, Staff writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc. ©

  • December 13, 2019
    1
    30

    “I pray you heal from things no one ever apologized for.” ~Nakeia Homer

  • December 13, 2019
    2
    35

    Be the reason someone believes in good people.

  • December 12, 2019
    0
    23

    At the end of the day remind yourself that you did the best you could today, and that is good enough. Lori Deschene.

  • December 12, 2019
    0
    18

    One day at a time is all we should be dealing with. We can’t go back to yesterday and we can’t control tomorrow, so live for today.

  • December 12, 2019
    0
    11

    Remember the days you prayed for the things you have now.

  • December 11, 2019
    1
    13

    There’s never a teardrop that God doesn’t see. He knows when a sparrow falls from a tree. There’s never a moment when God doesn’t care, never a time when He won’t hear our prayer.

  • December 10, 2019
    0
    27

    If you can lie down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone’s day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.

  • December 10, 2019
    7
    16

    Dear God, I can’t be everywhere, but you are. Please look over my loved ones. Please keep them safe for me. Amen. – Shelby Condo

  • December 10, 2019
    3
    32

    Happiness comes a lot easier when you stop complaining about your problem and you start being grateful for all the problems you don’t have.

  • December 8, 2019
    1
    13

    My life isn’t perfect but I am thankful for everything I have.

  • December 8, 2019
    3
    31

    Treat people the way you want to be treatedTalk to people the way you want to be talked to. Respect is earned, not given.

  • December 8, 2019
    0
    25

    The only people who deserve to be in your life are the ones who treat you with love, kindness and respect.

  • December 7, 2019
    1
    32

    Correct each other in private, defend each other in public and keep your personal business off of Facebook.

  • December 7, 2019
    2
    24

    Sometimes I just look upsmile and say “I know that was You.”

  • December 7, 2019
    0
    19

    If you have the chance to make someone happy just do it. Sometimes people are struggling silently. Maybe your act of kindness can make their day.

  • December 6, 2019
    0
    18

    Your greatest contribution to the world may not be something you do, but someone you raise.

  • December 6, 2019
    0
    8

    Don’t lose the spark that makes you…YOU. -C.J.Peterson

  • December 5, 2019
    0
    9
    You don’t have to move mountainsYou’ll change the world simply by being a warm, kind-hearted human being.” — Anita Krizzan.
  • December 4, 2019
    0
    12

    “Don’t tell a mother she looks tired; she already knows that. Tell her she’s doing a great job; she may not know that.” ~Stephanie Peltier

  • December 4, 2019
    1
    26

    One smile can start a friendship. One word, can end a fight. One look, can save a relationship. One person can change your life.

  • December 4, 2019
    0
    34

    All I want for christmas is for my family to be happy, healthy and safe.

  • December 3, 2019
    0
    18

    Don’t ruin other people’s happiness just because you can’t find your own.

  • December 3, 2019
    0
    15

    Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows.

  • December 1, 2019
    1
    5

    What You Learn From Being Raised By A Strong, Sensitive Mother.

    Unfortunately, not all of us are lucky enough to know from first-hand experience what it’s like to be raised by a caring, sensitive, and strong mom. Those of us who weren’t lucky in this regard as kids stand to learn a lot from people who were, so this is for the people who never had anyone to teach them these things first-hand.
    A strong and sensitive mom first and foremost teaches her children how to be independent. She knows that the more her children depend on her, the less able they are to stand on their own two feet. She knows that they need to be helped, to be given loving guidance to enable them to make their own way in the world, survive, and thrive. More than anything, a strong, loving mother wants her kids to blossom into independent, happy, fulfilled young adults. She shows them how to look after themselves in a loving, caring way, because she understands that she can’t control or force them into anything. She creates an uplifting and empowering atmosphere that instills a positive attitude in her children, and she shows them that there is nothing that they can’t do.
    In this way, she shows them how to manage and process their emotions. She provides them with the equipment that they need to be well-adjusted, emotionally balanced adults by demonstrating to them how to cope with the burdens and obstacles of life that they will inevitably face. She understands that the best way to teach someone is to lead by example, and so she practices the methods that she wants to teach her children in her everyday life.
    A sensitive mother shows her children the very meaning of unconditional love and devotion through demonstrating it to them every day of their lives. She sacrifices her money and her time in order to provide for them. She is there through thick and thin, no matter what, and through her behavior she passes on these attitudes to her children in turn.
    She teaches them that although the world can be a harsh and unforgiving place, they can make life that little bit brighter for the people around them through the way that they treat others. She shows them the true power of their thoughts, words, feelings, and actions, and helps them to direct them in a positive way. When her children see how much they can impact the people and world around them through their behavior, they’re more inclined to think before they act.
    A strong and sensitive mother shows her children how to love themselves. She teaches them the importance of being as kind, loving, and forgiving of themselves as they would be of others. She encourages them to get back up every time they’re knocked down, and to never give up on their hopes and dreams for the future. 
    She also teaches her children the value and importance of family and friends, and all of the things that come with maintaining close relationships with them: trust, respect, kindness, and solidarity. 
    From a mom like this, her children learn how to be strong and yet soft, firm and yet fair. They come to see that these two things aren’t mutually exclusive, no matter how much that might at first appear to be the case. She shows them that they should always treat people the way they’d like to be treated, and that they should always try to see things from other people’s points of view.
    Additionally, a strong and sensitive mother teaches her children how to enjoy life. She knows that life is not worth living if it can’t be enjoyed, so she equips her children with the tools they need to make the most of things and have fun. She teaches them how to find the positive side in anything, and how happiness is always to be found in the present moment. She shows them that happiness is always more real when it’s shared with others, and leaves them prepared to face the reality of the world not with fear, but with hope.

    Written by Maverick, Staff writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc. ©