To encourage you to keep going.
To remind you to be strong.

Archive for February, 2019

  • February 18, 2019
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    What It’s Like To Watch Your Parents Get Divorced When You’re Just A Kid.

     

    Half of all marriages end in divorce. It’s such an incredibly common thing, and it causes a whole lot of emotional baggage for everyone involved in the process.
    All too often, however, people tend to sweep the whole thing under the rug. This is common whenever difficult situations arise, but it happens especially frequently when a relationship comes to an end, of which divorces are by the messiest and most painful. People spend years with someone, thinking they’re going to be with forever. They raise a family, they watch their kids happily growing up, and then everything is torn in apart.
    Divorce is a horrible experience for anyone, but it’s especially hard on kids. You go through the early stages of your life blissfully unaware of the complexity of adult problems and the complicated and delicate nature of a romantic relationship. To you, your parents are just mom and dad. They’ve always been together, and you see no reason to ever suspect that things will be different. Then, one day, something changes.
    Perhaps you overhear an argument. Maybe something happens that causes your parents to act with more hostility and venom towards each other than you ever knew they were capable of. Suddenly, your world is split in two. The happy image you had of home is slowly shattered and replaced by the understanding that your parents might not be together forever.
    The long-term ramifications of witnessing your parents get divorced as a child can be serious, especially if the split is bitter nasty and you’re caught in the crossfire. It can leave lasting mental scars that can take years to heal, and can influence your future behaviors, emotional responses, and beliefs about relationships and marriage.
    Rather than growing up in a stable, consistent home, you spend your childhood being shuttled back and forth between your parents. A feeling of unsettled uncertainty descends over you, and you’re never really sure where you stand, where home is, or who you can fully trust and rely on in life. You end up keeping your distance from people, afraid to get too close in case they leave and you end up even more alone than you were before.
    You don’t know what it’s like to have all of the people you love in life around you anymore. When you’re young, you just don’t quite understand that whoever you leave will still be there when you return to see them again, and every time you leave one parent’s house to visit the other you feel like you’re mourning the loss of a parent all over again.
    As you grow up, you feel permanently uneasy, as if at any moment someone is going to walk through the door and tell you to pack up because you’re leaving. You’re always prepared for this possibility, so you never quite feel settled in any one place. You’re always itching to leave. You don’t stay in any place because that’s never been what you’ve done. You’re used to life on the move.
    You learn that getting too attached to someone leads to pain, so you don’t let yourself get too attached. It’s a defense mechanism to stop yourself getting hurt.
    If your parents split up amicably, the damage can be minimized. If the breakup is bad, however, then things can be very different. You see the shouting, the abuse, the manipulation, and you internalize it all. It all becomes part of your repertoire of behavior, which can all come spilling out as soon as it is provoked. You want to scream, shout, throw things, intimidate people, because you know how powerless it feels to witness or be on the receiving end.
    You know how it feels to be the outlet your parents use to vent all their frustration on. You’re part of the reason why the divorce is so hard, so you become someone to blame in their eyes, even if they don’t realize it.
    You grow up and you begin to think about the concept of relationships when you see your friends falling in love. Deep down, you find that you don’t believe in love. Not really. You’ve seen how it ends.
    Every divorce varies in subtle or vastly different ways. All divorces affect any kids the most, but those that are conducted maturely and with a lot of love, affection, and reassurance for the kids is easier to handle. When they witness violence, anger, bitterness, and genuine hate, the whole messed up situation is imprinted on their young minds, the repercussions of which will play out in the years to come as they try to live their lives.
    Watching your parents, the people you love most in the entire world, at each other’s throats is a pain that can never truly be erased.
    Watching your parents get divorced as a kid can be a nightmare that stays with you in some form for the rest of your life.
    Written by Maverick, Staff Writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc. ©️
  • February 17, 2019
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    Read This When Everything Seems Hopeless And You Want To Give Up.

     

    Being human is the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do.
    It would almost be funny how unfair it is if it wasn’t so damn sad. There’s no rhyme or reason to things. One minute everything seems fine enough, and you feel like you’re finally starting to turn a corner. Things aren’t perfect, and you’re still far from fully satisfied with life, but things are looking up.
    The next thing you know, you’re blindsided by pain. Misery condenses on you like a fog while your world shatters into a million pieces. Everything turns upside down and nothing makes sense anymore. It feels like everything you’ve ever worked for was all for nothing.
    There’s no way to know when and where this pain is coming from, only that it’s coming eventually. We find out we’re being evicted. We lose our jobs. The people we care about most in this world die and leave us with only memories of the way things used to be.
    Grief is overwhelming. It completely engulfs you. It comes in all different shapes and sizes. It comes from all kinds of unexpected places.
    It makes life incredibly hard to bear, sometimes. But we have to keep going. We have to push on and break new ground. No matter how bad things get, we have to hang on in there.
    Life is just a series of ups and downs. When we’re up, we don’t appreciate it the way we should. When we’re down, it feels like the world is ending and our life is over.
    There’s nothing we can do to stop it. We can’t stop the bad times from coming. The waves will keep washing over us as long as we live; happiness followed by misery and pain. It’s just the way life is.
    We can’t control what happens to us in life. All we have control over is our reaction to the things that happen to us. The attitude and mindset we bring to the situations we face in life determines how much we suffer.
    If we can accept that bad things happen and stop trying to hide or run away from them, we can deal with anything. When the darkest, most hideous situations unfold in our lives, we have to be able to look them in the face and smile.
    Everything that happens to us in life, good or bad, is an opportunity to learn, grow, and develop. If we can take the lessons we needed to learn from the darkest moments, we’ll enjoy the better times when they come.
    All we can do is try our best to be resilient and aware of the bigger picture when awful things happen to us. Don’t lose sight of the forest because of the trees. Grieve when you need to for as long as you need to, but make sure you don’t dwell in it for any longer than that.
    Negative emotions are powerful. They make us feel strong, even though we feel so broken and helpless. They can be addictive. We can wallow in misery because it seems a better alternative than learning from whatever has happened and moving on.
    We have to be kind and compassionate in life, to ourselves as well as to others. At the end of the day, everyone is fighting an internal battle that we know nothing about.
    You can’t rush healing. It needs to happen in its own time. The pain we experience from the very worst and darkest events in our life might never fully subside, but it becomes easier to manage. The grief that washes over us so intensely at first begins to hit us instead at key moments when we’re reminded of something or someone.
    Over the course of many years, these waves of pain come less and less frequently, like the tide going out to sea. They also hit us with less intensity. They still make us terribly sad but they become expected, and the time that passes in our lives brings with it new lessons, new perspectives and outlooks that help us to make sense of things and come to our own individual peace with the suffering that we’ve experienced.
    In the end, the experience we have in life all comes down to the way we perceive things. If you can maintain an attitude and mind state of always trying to look at the bigger picture, you’ll have the perspective necessary to keep your head up and keep on moving through this crazy, confusing experience we call life.
    There is always hope. Things can always get better. The most important thing to do is love and forgive yourself for any wrongdoing you feel you may have done. No one is perfect, and hindsight is always 20-20. We can only do the best we can with the information we have at hand in any situation. You’re just an organism doing what comes naturally to it – surviving.
    Written by Maverick, Staff Writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc. ©️
  • February 16, 2019
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    This Is For The Women Who Think Too Much And Love Too Hard

     

    You know who you are. The girls who receive a text and then can’t stop thinking about it all night, breaking it down and dissecting it in a thousand different ways in order to get to a deeper meaning that probably wasn’t even there in the first place.
    The women who can’t help but worry about everyone else far more than themselves. The ones who make sure everyone else has eaten or is having a good time before they’ll even think to do the same.
    You find that it often takes you forever to make up your mind or make a decision because you want it to be the right one. You want to make sure everything is perfect.
    You find it hard to really experience life in the present moment. There’s always something that requires your attention, some thought or worry that needs to be attended to rather than witnessing your life unfold in real time before you.
    Perhaps you dislike the fact that you overthink. Maybe you wish you could be like other people who always seem so laid back and able to go with the flow. This is especially true if your overthinking causes you more stress than it does you good.
    When you fall for someone, you fall hard and fast. You’re not interested in just hooking up with someone, or being anything less than completely, totally, head over heels in love. It’s just your nature. You want someone who will always be there with you, who will be good to you, who you can trust completely and live out your dreams with.
    Loving too hard and thinking too much go hand in hand. You find you analyze all the little things anyway, so overthinking every aspect of your relationship is only a natural progression.
    When you meet someone who you fall for completely, you can’t give them anything less than one hundred percent. You can’t give them a little bit. You have to give them everything, to put all of your effort in to making them happy.
    You love hard, without holding any of yourself back. You commit fully and completely to someone, and expect the same in return. You aren’t interested in anything less than real, life-long love.
    You could never waste the time of someone you love. You don’t want to ever give them less than you think they deserve. You want to spoil them, to shower them in love and affection. They mean everything to you.
    Somethings, having this attitude can blind you to some things in life. It can make you seem like a prime target to be taken advantage of. People might try to walk all over you. You might want to think so highly of someone that you can’t see when they’re being disloyal to you.
    It can also make you extremely sensitive and overcautious. Perhaps you overanalyze to the point where you find issues and problems where there simply don’t need to be any. Maybe you find you’re upset and offended by things that wouldn’t even register on another person’s radar. You’re so scared of getting hurt that you try to do everything you can to prevent and avoid it at all costs, and that means picking up on every little thing that could potentially be bad or go wrong.
    At the end of the day, you are who you are. You can’t and shouldn’t just force yourself to change. If you’re going to change, it has to be a natural progression stemming from being in a place where you have the confidence and security in yourself to trust the process.
    You are brilliant. Thinking too much and loving too hard are just the symptoms of a person that cares to the very depths of her soul. You feel so much, and that manifests itself in the things you do. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
    You should, however, try your hardest to enjoy your life and trust the ones you love. You only get one chance to live your life, and if you’re not paying attention in the present moment it’ll pass you right by. You can never control people or things, so trying to stop yourself getting hurt isn’t possible. At a certain point, you need to let go of the need to be sure and let yourself trust the people closest to you. You will get hurt. You can never completely avoid it. But at least you’ll be living your life. You’ll be feeling all the things there are to feel, the highs and the lows.
    If you can let yourself enjoy things more, you’ll realize how absolutely incredible it feels to truly be alive.
    Written by Maverick, Staff Writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc. ©️
  • February 10, 2019
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    Today, I witnessed a story of love. Not the type of love shared by young people who are half full of passion, topped off with hormones. It was not the type of dewy love experienced by newlyweds who are enthralled with the idea of exclusive devotion and the happily ever after.
    In such a world as ours, where vows are broken as quickly as the downing of a gavel, what I saw today was a rarity, a diamond exquisite in design.
    Today I saw a man, a broken man, standing vigil over his most prized possession. Here was love personified.
    When he walked into the room his steps were faulty, but his determination was undaunted. His eyes were fixed upon his destination at the front of the room. A steel grey casket sat under the colored lights. Half of its lid was propped open; the closed half held a spray of vivid, mix-matched flowers adorned with ribbons which read the words “wife” and “mother.”

    Upon approaching and without pause, he leaned down and kissed her painted lips, his frail body trembling to keep upright.
    So gentle and soft came his words to her. Surely these words were spoken innumerable times, but this time it was shrouded in finality.
    “I know you can’t hear me,” he whispered. “But, I love you.”
    And his tears fell.
    Family visitation was not scheduled for another hour or so, but he had come early. He wouldn’t squander these last few hours. For over 60 years she had been by his side, but it still wasn’t enough. Not near enough.
    So, he pulled up a chair and they sat.
    A cane on his right side, his deceased wife on his left, he sat sidled up to the casket for nearly an hour. He rubbed her arms and patted her hands. It was if he was comforting her, but the truth was, he was comforting himself.
    It didn’t seem to bother him that her skin was cold, her body stiff and rigid; nor did it bother him that she didn’t respond to the words he whispered. Strange as it seemed, this could have been a normal scene from any given evening within their home. Except for the plethora of lavish flora and small gifts sent by sympathetic friends, this scenario seemed completely normal.
    When family began to trickle in, he was still sitting there, holding her hand, stroking her hair.
    “She looks good, doesn’t she?” he asked when his children approached. Everyone agreed. And they cried.
    For nearly five hours he stayed nearby, exhausted, spent, until his body demanded he retire and his mind pleaded for respite.
    This man, this devoted man, had shown more grace in his time of grief than many do in times of plenty. I stood by in awe, watching faithfulness on display.
    Never had I seen a man so broken, robbed of his happiness by the curse of death. I wondered as I watched him, what would he do tomorrow and the day after that? Today was the easy part. Today she was still here, lying beside him, able to be touched or seen or kissed. Tomorrow, after she is laid deep in the ground, and he returns to their home, what then?
    Her things will still be there – the smell of her skin, scribbled grocery lists, her favorite chair, leftovers in the fridge, their bed. Their bed. How does one sleep alone after 59 years of lying next to your best friend? I can’t imagine ever sleeping again.
    Today, I witnessed a story of love. And I shall witness it again tomorrow when the story finally ends, and the stage is empty, and the lights go dark.

    Written by: April Yurcevic Shepperd

    Writer’s Note: At the request of the Bobby Moore and his family, I am sharing this narrative and photograph. This story was never meant to be seen by anyone. It was written solely for my own healing and to digest the very poignant moment I had just experienced. As I watched Bobby with his wife, I knew I was privileged to share a moment that conveyed volumes of time. As a photojournalist, I know photographs such as this capture verbs. It is a window into the event; a bearing witness, if you will. The Moore family have hope that publishing this piece will grant healing to others.

    About The Author:
    April Yurcevic Shepperd is a seasoned print and photojournalist, her passion is capturing a moment in time through photographs or the printed word. She feels that nothing compares to releasing your shutter, knowing that single frame tells the whole story; or writing so vividly, her readers can see through her words. You can follow her on her Facebook photography page.

  • February 6, 2019
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    Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the most wonderful things that will ever happen to us.

  • February 5, 2019
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    What It Feels Like To Be With The Man Of Your Dreams.

    Every woman wants to be with their true love. The person that they’re supposed to be with. The man with whom everything makes sense. Finding ‘the one’ may seem like an impossible task sometimes, but it’s only a matter of time.

    True love is out there, and it will come to you when you least expect it. Here are six traits that the man of your dreams will have!

     

    He’ll miss you when you’re gone
    The one for you will love nothing more than being in your presence.  He’ll cherish every moment the two of you spend together. When you’re not there with him, it will feel as though he’s lost a part of himself. It will be as though he’s missing an arm.
    He’ll do everything he can to spend every waking moment that he can with you, because it’s just too hard being without you. You deserve nothing less than someone who is in love with you that they can’t stand to be without you.

     

    He will keep his promises
    You deserve to be with someone with integrity, someone who has his own values, principles, and follows his own moral compass. You deserve someone that is true to his word.
    The man of your dreams will be your soulmate. He’ll be your lover, your best friend, and your life partner. His word is his bond. When he makes you a promise, you’ll know for sure that he’ll do everything in his power to keep it. You’ll be able to rely on him, to trust him with your life.  
    He’ll tell you the truth

     

    There are few things that are certain in life. We live in a world full of lies and deceit. That’s why each person deserves someone in their life who they know would never lie to them. When you finally meet the one for you, he’ll be someone who you can be sure is only ever telling you the truth, no matter how hard it may be.

     

    He’ll love you no matter what
    The one for you will love you with every fiber of his being. It won’t matter what happens between the two of you during your time together – because the love he holds for you is unconditional. He’ll hold you tightly during your worst and darkest moments. He’ll love you through the good and the bad. He’ll be there for you because he sees something in you that he doesn’t see in anyone else, and that’s not something that can just change overnight.

     

    He’ll stand up for you
    When you finally meet the person that you’re supposed to be with forever, it will be someone who will always have your back. Someone that you can rely on, someone who knows what it means to defend you and is always willing to do what it takes to keep you safe. When you’re with him, you’ll feel like everything is right with the world, because you know that you’re safe in his arms.

     

    He will never betray you
    The man of your dreams will put you above everything else in his life. He would never intentionally hurt you. That means no more silly games, no more worrying about what he’s doing at any given moment – you know that he will be good to you and keep your faith for as long as the two of you live. He’ll be the person that you can rely and depend upon.
    This person will come into your life one day, no matter how much it may sometimes seem like he doesn’t exist. He’s out there, and he’s searching for you too. Don’t give up!
    Written by Maverick, Staff Writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc. ©️
  • February 3, 2019
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    Stay Single Until You Meet Someone Like This.

     

    Stay single until you meet someone who leaves you love notes.
    Stay single until you meet someone who becomes your best friend.
    Stay single until you meet the one who will always want to kiss and show you affection.
    Stay single until you meet the one who never breaks their promises.
    The one who wants to have a future with you.
    Stay single until you meet somone who is not afraid of commitment.
    Stay single until you meet someone who has goals and ambition.
    Stay single until you meet someone who doesn’t take life for granted.
    Stay single until you meet someone who has respect for all living things.
    The one who forgives and admits when they are wrong.
    The one who sends you flowers, just because.
    Someone who makes you feel appreciated for all the little things you do.
    Stay single until you find someone who does as much for you as you do for them.
    Stay single until someone respects you for who you are and not for what you can do for them.
    Someone who is willing to put work into the relationship each and every day.
    Stay single until you meet someone who understands you.
    The one who never makes you feel unwanted.
    The one who thanks God for you.
    Until then, stay single.
    Written by Brigitte Nicole, Founder of  Lessons Learned In Life Inc. ©️
  • February 2, 2019
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    Strong Women Would Rather Be Alone Than

    Waste Their Time With Selfish Jerks.

     

    When a woman is happy being independent, she often earns the admiration of those who know her, male and female alike. Many people can’t understand how anyone can be happy being alone.
    There is an overwhelming desire from many women to be in a relationship. This need to be with someone means that some women will settle for anyone that they deem ‘good enough’, and all too often, good enough means not very good at all.
    It’s such a shame that so many women place all of their self-worth onto being in a relationship. The fear of being alone is so strong in some people that they feel that their life isn’t worth it unless they have someone by their side. They project all of their happiness and fulfilment onto another person, something that is always guaranteed to result in a bad outcome.
    The strongest women are those who are able to find these things within themselves, rather than relying on someone else to provide them. Women like this are happy with their own life, and they don’t need someone by their side just to feel like their lives are worthy of having meaning.
    Strong women don’t waste their time on losers because they have high standards. They’re happy being alone, so if they’re going to be with someone, then they expect them to be worth it.
    They won’t settle for someone who won’t treat them properly. They won’t allow a man without their own goals, direction, and independence to have a place in their life.
    They expect more of their partner as the bare minimum – meaning they have no time at all for losers who are only interested in using them for sex, housework, and company on their own terms.
    They expect a mature relationship consisting of love, trust, and respect.
    They value their time and their energy enough to know not to waste it on people that aren’t worth it. They know their worth, and they won’t take sh*t.
    Strong women can often intimidate certain men. These men are afraid of fiercely independent women, because they can’t be controlled or kept in line. They don’t like the idea of women being equal with them or strong.
    That’s why so many strong women don’t even bother dating. They can’t be bothered to waste their time on people who don’t deserve it. They don’t want to meet up with men who see them as inferior.
    They’re happy, they’re satisfied, even if it means being alone. Strong women don’t waste their time on losers because they value their self-worth enough to be independent until they find someone worth their time.
    A strong woman knows that the man of her dreams will put her above everything else in her life. That he would never intentionally hurt her. That means no more games, no more worrying about what he’s doing at any given moment –that he will be good to her, respect her, love her and keep her faith for as long as the two of you live. He’ll be the person that you can rely and depend upon. Because you are that strong woman.
    Written by Maverick, Staff Writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc. ©️