To encourage you to keep going.
To remind you to be strong.

Archive for January, 2019

  • January 28, 2019
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    What It’s Like To Love Someone Who’s Used To Being On Their Own

     

    Loving someone is always difficult, no matter who it is. However, when the person you love is used to being alone, things can be even harder.
    A romantic relationship is the most intimate and personal relationship it is possible to have with someone. You have the chance to get to know a person to the very core of their being, which is something that is far harder to do if you’re not romantically involved with them. In order for the true potential of a relationship to be explored to its full depth, there needs to be a large amount of honesty, trust, respect, and love. If a person isn’t used to being in a relationship, then they will find these things far harder to fully incorporate into the bond between themselves and their partner.
    Someone that’s used to being on their own has certain barriers built up around their heart. They find it very difficult to let anyone close – they’re just not used to it. Letting their guard down isn’t something they do very often, so doing it in such a vulnerable way can seem like an extremely scary thing to do.
    These barriers between their inner consciousness and the outside world form a part of the identity of a person used to being alone. They are a part of them. They’re as natural to them as fetching a stick is to a dog. A close, loving relationship means that these barriers have to come down, to some degree. This is something that people who aren’t used to doing so can find extremely difficult.
    People used to being on their own can be distant, and hard to communicate with. They can be suspicious, cautious, and afraid to let anyone else close to their heart. They can be very emotional, and can easily become angry or worked up. This is a defense mechanism. They’re deeply afraid of getting hurt, so they react to something they feel is a threat to them with harsh words. They can lash out if they’re pushed too far too quickly.
    They’re not used to sharing their personal space, both in their external life and in their thoughts and feelings, with anyone else. Doing this can be a very strange and unpleasant experience for people used to being on their own, because it’s so completely different to what they’re used to.
    They’re used to being independent and handling their own business, so suddenly having another person who expects them to share all of the details of their life can be a very weird situation. They’re used to thinking through their options alone and making decisions more or less out of their own judgment, rather than having another person’s opinion on what they should do for so many of the situations they come across.
    Loving someone who’s used to being on their own means being with someone who might not be used to the idea of compromising as much as is needed to maintain a strong healthy relationship. It means an adjustment period where the person works out a new balance in their life, where they have to re-assess things down to the finest details and build a worldview back up from scratch to accommodate another person.
    Perhaps the hardest thing about loving someone that is used to being alone is accepting that they will take a long time to fully trust and become vulnerable with another person, because they can’t help but wonder what will happen if they let down all their barriers, let the other person in, and then one day that person breaks up with them and leaves them heartbroken.
    So, when you’re in a relationship with someone who just isn’t used to being with anyone, remember that it will take a lot of time and a great deal of patience to reach the level of love, trust, and caring that it’s capable of having. Remember that it’s a bit like playing the relationship on ‘hard’ mode. But also remember that once they finally open their heart up to you fully, their heart is in your hands.

    Written by Maverick, Staff Writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc. ©️

  • January 27, 2019
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    Honestly Ladies, Stay Single Until You Find The Man Of Your Dreams.

     

    Every woman wants to be with their true love. The person that they’re supposed to be with. The man with whom everything makes sense. Finding ‘the one’ may seem like an impossible task sometines, but it’s only a matter of time.

    True love is out there, and it will come to you when you least expect it. Here are six traits that the man of your dreams will have!

     

     

    • He’ll miss you when you’re gone

     

    The one for you will love nothing more than being in your presence.  He’ll cherish every moment the two of you spend together. When you’re not there with him, it will feel as though he’s lost a part of himself. It will be as though he’s missing an arm.

    He’ll do everything he can to spend every waking moment that he can with you, because it’s just too hard being without you. You deserve nothing less than someone who is in love with you that they can’t stand to be without you.

     

     

    • He will keep his promises

     

    You deserve to be with someone with integrity, someone who has his own values, principles, and follows his own moral compass. You deserve someone that is true to his word.

    The man of your dreams will be your soulmate. He’ll be your lover, your best friend, and your life partner. His word is his bond. When he makes you a promise, you’ll know for sure that he’ll do everything in his power to keep it. You’ll be able to rely on him, to trust him with your life.  

     

     

    • He’ll tell you the truth

     

    There are few things that are certain in life. We live in a world full of lies and deceit. That’s why each person deserves someone in their life who they know would never lie to them. When you finally meet the one for you, he’ll be someone who you can be sure is only ever telling you the truth, no matter how hard it may be.

     

     

    • He’ll love you no matter what

     

    The one for you will love you with every fiber of his being. It won’t matter what happens between the two of you during your time together – because the love he holds for you is unconditional. He’ll hold you tightly during your worst and darkest moments. He’ll love you through the good and the bad. He’ll be there for you because he sees something in you that he doesn’t see in anyone else, and that’s not something that can just change overnight.

     

     

    • He’ll stand up for you

     

    When you finally meet the person that you’re supposed to be with forever, it will be someone who will always have your back. Someone that you can rely on, someone who knows what it means to defend you and is always willing to do what it takes to keep you safe. When you’re with him, you’ll feel like everything is right with the world, because you know that you’re safe in his arms.

     

     

    • He will never betray you

     

    The man of your dreams will put you above everything else in his life. He would never intentionally hurt you. That means no more silly games, no more worrying about what he’s doing at any given moment – you know that he will be good to you and keep your faith for as long as the two of you live. He’ll be the person that you can rely and depend upon.

    This person will come into your life one day, no matter how much it may sometimes seem like he doesn’t exist. He’s out there, and he’s searching for you too. Don’t give up!

    Written by Maverick, Staff Writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc. ©️

  • January 26, 2019
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    How To Get Over Someone Who Doesn’t Love You Back

     

    Few things in life are capable of scarring your heart and psyche forever more than a love that is unreturned. When you feel such an immense, overwhelming amount of loving emotion for someone who could never feel the same way about you it pierces you to the very core of your being in a way that no physical wound ever could.
    All of those feelings, all of that time and energy spent daydreaming and fantasizing about what could be, resulting in a complete anti-climax. Oh. They don’t feel the same way. It’s as if you’ve reached the end of the rainbow only to find an empty pot – the shell of what might have been.
    You’re left with only disappointment and sadness as you dwell on what could have been if only the person of your dreams felt a fraction of what you feel for them.
    Although it’s unbearably painful, you will get over unrequited love in time. It takes a lot of changing your attitude and strengthening your mind to get back on your own two feet – especially when it feels like there was never anything there in the first place to get worked up over. It’s as if everything you ever wanted was a pipe dream.
    Here are five steps to get over someone who doesn’t love you back:

     

    Accept the reality of your situation
    The first step in getting over unrequited love is to accept the way things are. Accept the fact that you love someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you. Accept that you cannot control how anyone feels about you. Accept the way it makes you feel – depressed, unworthy, unlovable, incapable of being truly happy – or all of these and more. The sooner you accept the way things are both inside your mind and in your external life, the sooner you’ll come to terms with what is and stop thinking about what could have been. This will allow you to move on with your life and your precious love.

     

    Know your worth
    It’s important to recognize what a kick-ass person you are. Remind yourself of how brilliant you are, of how much someone who doesn’t recognize all the beauty in you is missing. Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself if you need to. Remember that life is always a work in progress, and that one day your romantic world will come good. Keep moving forward, and know that you’re as incredible, unique, and totally worthy of love as anyone has ever been.

     

    Focus on yourself
    The next step is to work on self-improvement. This isn’t so much to make yourself more attractive to a future partner as it is to boost your own self-esteem and remind yourself just how much you’re capable of if you really try. Work out, pick up new hobbies you’ve been wanting to try, and start living your life for you and you alone. You don’t need anyone to make you complete. You’ve had all that is necessary for completeness within you from the very beginning.

     

    Spend time with those closest to you
    The times when you feel lowest and most alone are the times you most need your loved ones close. Take the time and make the effort to really reconnect with the people who mean the most to you. Your friends and family will be with you through thick or thin, and being in their company will help you to see for yourself all of the things that make you so brilliant. You’ll be reminded just how great life can be, and you’ll feel re-energized and ready to move on to better times.

     

    Remind yourself that the right person will see your true value
    If a person is right for you, you will both know it. They will see all the beautiful, incredible things that make you you. They’ll know deep down that you’re right for them. If a person doesn’t see your true worth, then they’re not right for you – no matter how much you might feel like they are. You need someone who will recognize you for the amazing person you are.
    Getting over someone who doesn’t love you back is one of those things which often goes unnoticed by other people, but cuts just as deep as the loss of any love. After all, the feelings you have for the person that doesn’t see you in the same light are real. The fact that no one else can see any kind of loss except yourself means that you can feel terribly isolated and alone, but that doesn’t change the fact that how you feel is valid and okay. You’ll be alright in the end – just make sure to remind yourself of that. These things take time, so hang on in there!

    Written by Maverick, Staff Writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc. ©️

     

  • January 25, 2019
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    My mind is like an internet browser. 17 tabs are open, 4 of them are frozen and I don’t know where the music is coming from.

  • January 21, 2019
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    Modern Dating Is So Screwed Up.

    The way people date is shaped by the culture they live in. In the modern day and age, apps like Tinder and Bumble provide people with long lists of potential lovers. This, plus an increasingly open and liberal attitude to casual sex and dating in the western world, has meant that it can be difficult to really hold a relationship down.
    We’re used to convenience. We’re used to swiping on a screen and talking to a new person. It’s all too easy, too upfront, and too available. This means that our standards for long term commitment become impossibly high. We have such a high availability of potential partners that we can afford to be picky. Too picky.
    There’s nothing wrong with having high standards, but it’s important to know which standards are reasonable and which aren’t. Loyal, fun, loving, kind – sure, take your pick. Totally perfect? You’re going to be left wanting. Perfection just isn’t something that anyone can possibly achieve.
    These days, we’re saturated with media that paints us and idealized picture of what love should look like. We scroll through our phones and are bombarded with images of perfect, gorgeous, happy people massively in love. That isn’t reality. That’s a highlight reel.
    The availability of potential lovers today means that you can take your pick of who you want. We’re far less likely to want to stick around and make things work with one person when things get tricky because it’s far more convenient to just pick up another card from the deck than it is to put in the hard work that is required to make a relationship work.
    Relationships are the most complicated thing in the world. They’re extremely difficult to nail down. People aren’t perfect. Everybody has their flaws, and even if you’re in the honeymoon stage where you think they’re perfect, sooner or later you’re going to be slapped in the face with all of the things that are wrong with your partner. If you’re going to make things work with someone, it requires hard work, compromise, and, above all else – persistence. You need to have the ability to hang on in there when things get rough. You need to be committed to making things work with someone, as much as you possibly can.
    The convenience and ease of access to partners which we see in modern (especially online) dating culture means that all of this is easily pushed to the side in favor of trying to find Mr or Mrs ‘Right’. The problem is, no one is ‘right’ – not really. Everyone has something wrong with them if you look long and hard enough.
    People today often don’t want to rush into any kind of commitment. The idea of labels, of saying that you’re in a relationship and want to be together can all just be too much. It requires a level of persistent hard work that we just aren’t prepared to put in.
    The problem is that until you’re willing to put in that hard work, things will never work out with anyone.
    It’s easy to overthink things. A text (or the lack of one), a weird tone of voice, a funny look – anything can be analyzed to death until we’re convinced that a person doesn’t really like or love us, or that they’re going to cheat on us, or that they’re going to turn around and leave us one day.
    We’re scared to get hurt, so we refuse to commit.
    The reality is that we can’t be certain of anything. There’s always the ‘what if…’ in the back of our minds. It will always be there. There is always room to doubt anything and everything.
    You can’t expect to achieve anything in life if you’re not prepared to take risks and work hard. If you want a fairy-tale relationship, then you have to eventually take a chance on someone and commit to them. You have to be prepared to put in the hard work. You have to be prepared to suffer in order to make it work.
    In the end, you have to accept that you can’t control everything. You have to accept that if someone’s going to hurt you, they’re going to hurt you. You have to be prepared to take a chance to find out.

    Written by Maverick, Staff Writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc. ©️

     

  • January 20, 2019
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    This Is Me Finally Giving Up On You

     

    There’s nothing harder than making the decision to end a relationship. It’s almost like you lose part of yourself. Even though it isn’t something that I particularly want to do, I know it’s for the best. Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.
    I used to wonder why it seemed so easy for you to break the promises you made me. I would find myself questioning why I’d forgive you every time, despite the fact that you never seemed to forgive me my wrongs. Every mistake you made, we moved on from. You held every mistake I made over me for the whole of our relationship.
    I held on for a long, long time. Giving up a relationship that you’ve been in for years feels like cutting off an arm or a leg. But when a limb is rotten, it needs to be amputated. Our relationship died years ago. I’ve only been grieving for what we used to have since.
    I miss the person I thought you were. I miss what I used to think we had. I miss the future I once dreamed we could have together.
    For the longest time, I told myself that I needed to make it work. I told myself that I had to stay, that I had to force myself to work through our problems and make things between us last. I was fighting a losing battle the entire time. I was fighting alone.
    The truth is that you’ve never cared about me. Not in the way that I’ve cared about you. You’ve never cared about us. You’ve done nothing but take me for granted, and I feel like a fool for putting up with it for so long. Well, no more. I’ve had enough. I’m choosing me for once. I’m putting myself first.
    I’m giving up on you because of all the times you promised me you’d change and didn’t. I’m giving up on you because of all the nights I laid in bed worried sick about you and you couldn’t even be bothered to text me back.
    I’m giving up on you because you never put me first. You never even put me second. You never gave me thoughtful gifts. You never told me how much I meant to you.
    I know you’ll cry. We both will. I know you’ll beg for me to give you one last chance. I know you’ll promise me again that you’ll change. You’ll try to take advantage of my kindness and compassion. You’ll try to manipulate me into staying, just like you always have.
    Well, it won’t work this time. I’m done. No matter how much this hurts, I know what I have to do.
    This is me finally giving up on you and I’m never looking back.

    Written by Maverick, Staff Writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc. ©️

  • January 19, 2019
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    The Truth Is I’m Strong But I’m Tired

    For most of my life, I’ve felt pressure to be strong for others. For my friends, for my family, for partners I’ve had – anyone. I’ve always had to be the rock they could lean on.
    People have always expected me to be there for them. Whenever they need help, I am the one they lean on. Empathy, advice, and reassurance are the things that people have come to know me (and in the end, rely on me) for.
    I’ve always felt the weight of other people’s expectations on my shoulders. I’ve carried their burdens for so long that I’ve found I’ve left nothing for myself.  
    Nobody ever reaches out to me. Nobody makes sure that I’m okay. I have to be my own rock, as well as other people’s.
    People take, and they take, and they take. They use me when they need me, they thank me for being a good friend, and then they leave. I’m lucky to even have someone ask me how I am.
    Sometimes I think about how sad my lot in life is. I think about the fact that I am strong for others means that no one ever feels the need to be strong for me. Sometimes it makes me cry.
    I’m expected to be okay. I’m expected to keep my sh*t together. If I ever opened up to people about how I felt, I doubt that they’d even know what to say. It’s like people don’t even consider the fact that inside I could be anything other than perfectly fine.
    Well, I’m not.
    I’m tired. I’m worn out. I’m fed up of being the ‘strong’ one. I’m done with being used.
    I need to learn to be there for myself before I’m there for anyone else. I need to put myself first before I use my precious strength for other people. I need to be strong for my own sake.
    I feel far more than I let on. The waves of life rock me every time they hit me, no matter how much I may seem to stand firm in front of them. Every single one sends me reeling. Every one has me wondering just how much more of this I can take.
    But I will be okay. I know I will. I will learn to do for myself what I’ve always been able to do for other people. I will learn to carry my own burden. I’ll become strong for myself.
    I could easily allow myself to dwell in my misery. I could torment myself with the knowledge that no one has picked up on how exhausting I find my role in life. I could torture myself thinking about how no one is ever there for me. But I won’t.
    I’m going to turn over a new leaf. I’m going to stop giving people the things they’ve come to take me for granted for. I’m going to spend that energy on myself, and only give it out to the people who deserve it. The people who will give me the same thing in return.
    Not out of spite, not out of revenge, but because I need to. Because I have to.
    Because I’m done with being expected to be strong.

    Written by Maverick, Staff Writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc. ©️

  • January 17, 2019
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    5 Myths About the Other Woman

    Discovering that your husband has cheated can be one of the most devastating moments in your life. Finding out that you have been basically living a lie can come as an overwhelming shock. Between deciphering the truth from the lies, and seeing all the signs that you missed, you feel like nothing short of a fool. Not to mention you feel compared to this other woman, who in your mind, has almost develops super powers. This is where you need to gain some clarity and insight to see her for who she truly is.
    She must be amazing.
    Let’s face it, this woman’s moral compass doesn’t exactly point north if she is actively involved with a married man. Worse yet, one with a family. This shows a very self-seeking disposition. So basically, short of committing murder, you probably can’t top her own special brand of selfishness. Honestly, anyone who can eagerly go after someone else’s man, is nothing short of evil. You need to realize that although you have a certain responsibility for the decline of your relationship, you aren’t anything like this woman. You may have failed to meet your husband’s needs but you aren’t someone who would steal what doesn’t belong to you. So why are you putting someone like her up on an invisible pedestal? Even if she had no idea who you were, there is still a matter of what is morally right and morally wrong. She isn’t a four-year-old, stealing a cookie from the cookie jar. She is trying to take another woman’s husband, life and willingly destroying a family. Something that she would not tolerate or accept if your roles were reversed. My favorite cop out is when the other woman professes her innocence by saying, “Well, if it wasn’t me, it would have been someone else.” While that may be true, it also speaks volumes about who she is. The fact that it wasn’t “someone else” pretty much tells you everything you need to know about her. That level of selfishness is unparalleled. Not only is she a borderline narcissist but she has very little regard for her fellow human beings and the sisterhood of women.
    He is in love with her.
    He is not in love, he is under the influence. An affair is often compared to a drug addiction. He is filled with lots of chemicals that are not allowing your husband to think coherently. The secrecy and the fantasy of this elicit relationship create a perfect storm of illusion and fiction. She isn’t any better than you, he is just seeing her through a fog. What draws him to her isn’t that she is in any way better than you, it’s that he has a chemical dependency on her. It is addiction and he is looking for another hit the way a drug addict would or another drink like an alcoholic. Once he has been separated from her for a while, he will begin to think more clearly, and he won’t feel the same intense need for her. What he saw in her during the affair was fueled by hormones and once those hormones have essentially dried up, he sees the real person. He will begin to come back down to Earth and most likely will begin to see her flaws that he ignored before.
    She is more compatible and must have something special to offer.
    When your husband decided to cheat, it was most likely because some or most of his needs were not being met. The day-to-day routine of life can be a death sentence for any relationship. Especially, if the couple goes from being lovers to roommates and co-parents. The other woman isn’t more attractive or better in bed, she simply was meeting a need that you weren’t. She is only doing exactly what you did in the early days of your relationship, that over time fell by the wayside. Most likely, she admires him, makes him feel manly and sexy, she makes him feel accepted and wanted. It is not her that he really wants, it’s how she makes him feel. She is just meeting his needs and his craving for admiration and respect. It is very easy for him to fall prey to her if he feels like he is being starved of this at home or he feels like he can’t make you happy. If he can’t seem to make you happy then he will find someone he can. Of course, during the honeymoon phase of his relationship with the other woman, it is easy to make her happy while he is devoting his time and attention to her. Meanwhile, the shift in his behavior and attention as well as his pulling away, make you all the more miserable. You can combat this by just living in the moment and trying to genuinely enjoy your husband and your life. There is nothing magical or sensational about her, she is just making him feel special. You can very easily turn everything around and save your marriage if you apply the same principles.
    They are soulmates (so she says).
    The good news is that while you might have a lot of work to do, rebuilding your relationship, any relationship he might have with her doesn’t truly have a future. Endless statistics show that most husbands never leave their wives. However, in the rare instance that the husband does leave the wife for the other woman, the relationship between them is doomed to failure. Something started in deceit has a very little chance of surviving. While the other woman might profess that they have this “spiritual” and “soulful” connection, it is all based on chemicals and hormones. Plain and simple, it’s a fantasy. This relationship is based on lies, deceit and hidden agendas. If it were to ever enter into everyday life of living together, it would most likely, in due course, dissolve. This isn’t a soulmate or true love bond, it is a bond created in duplicity and deception. It was their shared secret and the need for concealment that created the attachment and once it has come to light, the fervor will eventually begin to fade.
    She thinks she is better than you.
    Believe it or not, she is seething with jealousy over you. You know your husband better than anyone, in a way she never can. You and your husband have a shared history, perhaps children and this creates an unshakable bond that ties you both together for life (or at least as long as your children are around). While you are looking at her and are thinking that she must be some amazing woman because she managed to snag your man, she has been looking at you all along and wondering why she couldn’t altogether steal him from you and break your hold over him. Why won’t he just leave you. No doubt, this is probably frustrating the heck out of her. If she has tried to get your husband to leave you, you can bet that she has tried to poison your husband against you by exaggerating your personality flaws, and telling him you don’t appreciate him the way she would. She sees you as the evil shrew keeping her from her happy ending, holding your husband hostage. She knows deep down inside that he loved you and probably still does. You still share a life with him, a bed, children and she knows her hold on him is very tentative at best. That alone makes her crazy with jealousy. While she might not have any respect for the institution of marriage, she is more than aware of the validity of it. Her relationship with him constantly stands on an extremely fragile and crumbling foundation and the threat of it ending at any time is constantly hanging over her head. As much as she lies to herself, she knows that this clandestine relationship is undoubtedly temporary and that creates a desperateness in her that makes her positively hate you. She is worried, and rightly so, that most of the things your husband told her were just to keep her complacent and from blowing his cover. Especially now if everything has come out, and he is still with you. She is questioning everything and coming up short.
    You might feel like you are falling apart inside but take solace in the fact that you are a good and decent person. You are the better woman and you are stronger than you know. While your marriage might be in crisis, you have a genuine opportunity to fix your marriage and make it stronger than it has ever been. Winning your husband back and having a great marriage again isn’t about showing your husband why the other woman is wrong for him. It is showing him that you are right for him.

    About Kimberly Crawford

    is a writer who lives in Upstate New York with her family. Her work focuses on travel, music, and relationships. Life is an adventure and her goal is to help people really live it.

  • January 15, 2019
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    A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by their acts of kindness, respect, honesty and by the loyalty they show.

  • January 15, 2019
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    Know this: Some people will not hear you regardless how much, how loud, how truthful, how loving or how profound you speak. Wish them well and let them go.

  • January 15, 2019
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    Women glow differently when they’re loved right and treated properly.

  • January 15, 2019
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    Your Grandmother’s prayers are still protecting you. – Lalah Delia

  • January 15, 2019
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    Today, I just want to thank God for the gift of life. No request, no complaints, just thankful to be alive.

  • January 15, 2019
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    Sometimes, no matter how nice you are, how kind you are, how caring you are, how loving you are, it just isn’t enough for some people.
  • January 15, 2019
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    Sometimes you just have to be done. Not mad. Not upset, just done.

  • January 14, 2019
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    Knowing when to walk away is wisdom. Being able is courage. Walking away, with your head held high is dignity.

  • January 14, 2019
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    I am at a place in life where peace is a priority. I deliberately avoid certain people to protect my mental, emotional & spiritual state.

  • January 14, 2019
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    Not everyone will understand your journey. That’s fine. It’s not their journey to make sense of. It’s yours.

  • January 14, 2019
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    Sometimes angels are just ordinary people that helped us believe in miracles again.

  • January 14, 2019
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    Beauty has nothing to do with looks. It has everything to do with how you are as a person and how you make others feel about themselves.

  • January 14, 2019
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    I am actually extremely grateful that some things didn’t work out the way I once wanted them to.

  • January 14, 2019
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    I am a strong woman because a strong woman raised me.

  • January 14, 2019
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    Some people will never like you because your spirit irritates their demons.

  • January 14, 2019
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    Be Alone Until You Find Someone Who Actually Cares About You.

     

    When many single people think about their love life, they’re filled with a feeling of deep anxiety. They have a craving for closeness, affection, intimacy, and love that being single just can’t fulfil.
    However, there’s another way of looking at things. In my opinion, it’s better to stay single than to end up settling for someone that’s wrong for you, just because you don’t want to be alone.
    No one wants to end up being trapped in a relationship fuelled by anger, resentment, and hate. No one wants to end up being with someone that they can’t even stand. Relationships are by far the hardest thing to navigate in life. It involves two people having to share their minds and bodies with each other. It’s an interpersonal bond between two separate entities – and that’s something that’s incredibly difficult to work through.
    It involves a lot of compromise, a lot of tough love, and plenty of hard conversations and even harder decisions. These things are fundamental in any relationship. Becoming that close and intimate with someone involves peering into the darkest corners of their mind – and accepting whatever you find, good or bad. These things are hard enough when it’s the right person. When it’s the wrong person, a relationship can be an absolute nightmare.
    With this in mind, it’s better to wait for the right person to come along in your life. The person who you can be yourself with. The person who you can be open and vulnerable with, the person who will always do their best to understand.
    Being alone really isn’t so bad if you can change your perspective. In fact, it can be a really positive thing in your life. It gives you room to grow, explore, and work out who you really are. It’s necessary sometimes to have the space to be able to do these things. Being single is that space.
    Being alone is far better than going on dates where you wished you’d stayed at home, or spending time with someone you’re supposed to really like and care about and wishing you were anywhere else in the world.
    It’s much better to have the time and opportunity that being single provides than it is to become suffocated by a relationship with the wrong person. You’re like a flower – you need to be nurtured and given the chance to grow and blossom. When you’re single, you can do that all by yourself. When you’re in a relationship with the right person, you can do that for each other. When you’re with a relationship with someone that’s wrong for you, your growth is going to be stunted. The two of you become like a parasite for each other, taking all of the others’ energy and giving nothing in return. You’re not going to have what you need to flourish when you’re with the wrong person.
    Be alone until you know for sure that you’ve met the right person. Until you’ve met someone who genuinely cares about you in the same way you care for them. Be alone until you have someone with whom you’re each other’s number one priority.
    Life is short, so focus on yourself until then. You will thank yourself for doing so.

    Written by Maverick, Staff Writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc. ©️

  • January 13, 2019
    5
    17

    You lost An Incredible Woman And This Time, My Goodbye Is Final.

     

    You had a person ready to give you the world. A woman who would do anything to have a happy life with you. A woman who would have moved mountains if it meant making the world an easier place to live for you.
    You had an incredible woman, and you lost her.
    You pushed her away every time she was upset and you didn’t care enough about her feelings to make sure she was okay before you left. You made her lose faith in you every time you bailed on plans you had with her to hang out with your friends.
    She was one of a kind, and you threw her away. She was a gem, a diamond in the sand, but you didn’t even notice. If you had, you’d taken the time to show her what she meant to you. You’d have called her, you’d have bought her flowers one in a while. You would have made her feel valued, wanted, and appreciated.
    You would have treasured her like she deserved.
    She was strong for you. She was kind, she was loyal, and she was patient. She waited, and she waited, and she waited, but you never became the person she thought that you could be.
    She wanted the best for you. She wanted your wildest dreams to come true. She wanted to see you happy, and fulfilled, and content. She wanted to share all of those things with you.
    She was by your side when you needed her the most. She stayed with you through thick and thin, through some of your lowest, darkest moments. She was there for you. She was always there for you. She would have been there for you forever if you’d been there for her in return.
    Your incredible woman loved you with all her heart, and in return all that you could offer was a half-as*ed form of love. It was always a day late, always a dollar short.
    This woman was right there for the taking. You could have had her in your life forever, if you’d wanted her. But you didn’t realize what you had. You didn’t want her badly enough. You couldn’t bring yourself to try hard enough to keep her.
    You didn’t value her. You didn’t see the light that she brought into your life. You didn’t nurture her like she did you. You didn’t lift her up. You didn’t help her to grow. You didn’t want her to be her own person, independent and free. You didn’t want to see her shine. You didn’t want to see her blossom.
    You were everything to her. She gave you her heart. She opened up to you, she exposed her soul and let you in.
    And what did you give her in return?
    You took her for granted. You assumed she’d always be there to provide you with an infinite supply of love, affection, and caring, without ever needing anything back. You neglected her. You never made her a priority in your life.
    She fought tooth and nail to save the relationship you had. She tried her best to make things work, because she knew that relationships require persistence, forgiveness, effort, and a whole lot of love. She wouldn’t give up without a fight.
    But she was no fool.
    She wouldn’t just hang in there forever while you neglected her. She knew that it takes two people putting in equal effort to make a relationship work. She was patient, but she wasn’t going to be a doormat that you walked all over. She wasn’t about to let herself get played.
    If you’d have been willing to try, if you’d have been able to weather the storm with her, to treat any obstacles you came across as a team, then you could have made it work. She thought that you were willing to fight for her, too.
    But you weren’t.
    You were only interested in using her. You wanted to take all you could from her and give nothing back. You kept her around because she made you feel good about yourself. She was someone you could blame for all your shortcomings. Someone that you could use to vent your anger, your jealousy, and bad moods upon.
    She suffered because of you.
    She spent countless nights crying herself to sleep. She blamed herself for the shortcomings in your relationship. She was miserable, torturing herself because of you.
    She realized that none of this was healthy. She knew it had to stop. She knew that if you were capable of making her feel this way, then you weren’t the one for her.
    She might have left, but you were the one who lost her. She didn’t lose you. She regained herself. It was the most horrible, painful thing she’d ever had to do, but she’d do it all again in a heartbeat. She knew that no one is worth suffering like that for. She knew she deserved better.
    She knew she would one day meet someone who would value her like she deserved. She knew that person wasn’t you.

    Written by Maverick, Staff Writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc. ©️