To encourage you to keep going.
To remind you to be strong.

Archive for November, 2018

  • November 30, 2018
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    If you can’t commit to her, let her go.

     

    Stringing along a woman who likes you just because you can is one of the lowest things you can do. If you’re not prepared to fully invest yourself in the relationship, tell her. Don’t lead her on. Don’t let her think you see a future with her when you know you’re really only in it for the short term.
    She’s a person, not an object.
    If you’re only thinking about yourself and how you can benefit from her without considering her feelings or how the situation will affect her, you’re a selfish a**hole at worst and incredibly immature at best. Grow up – she’s a human being, not something you can use for your pleasure and throw away when you’re done. Think about how would you feel if you were really into someone who was only leading you on, only letting you think you had a chance to really be with them when in reality they didn’t care about you all that much. Think about how crushed you would feel when they suddenly told you out of the blue that they just didn’t see you that way, that they didn’t want a future with you after months of letting you think that they did.
    Be clear about what you want.
    If you don’t see a future with her, then you need to let her know. Whether the two of you decide to break things off or stay together in the short term is up to you, but she needs to know the truth. Be clear with her about how you feel, about the way you see her fitting into your life. Is it as a fling, or is it as your future wife and the mother of your children? Either way, she deserves to know the reality of the situation.
    What’s the point in staying in a relationship with someone if you don’t want to commit to being with them forever? If you only see you and her as a short-term thing before someone better comes along and you switch partners, you’re wasting her time as well as yours. If you don’t see a future with her, tell her. Let her know now, rather than in a few months or years. It’s better to rip the band-aid off quickly, to give her time to heal. The longer you’re together, the more it will hurt when you eventually decide the time is right to break up with her.
    The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. It’s all too easy to feel like there’s someone else out there that could be better for you, or like there’s something missing from your relationship.  If you have a great woman by your side, someone who’s there for you, listens to you, and loves you, think very carefully before throwing it all away.
    But if you know you can’t commit to her, do the right thing and tell her. Let her know how you feel before she starts dreaming of a future with you that she can never have. Give her the opportunity to find someone who will love her the way she deserves.
    Either commit to her, or let her go.
    Written by Maverick, Staff writer for Lessons Learned In Life Inc.
  • November 25, 2018
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    Never wish them pain. That’s not who you are. If they caused you pain, they must have pain inside. Wish them healing. – Najwa Zebian.

  • November 24, 2018
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    I’m trying. I’m trying to get better. I’m trying to be happy. I’m trying to stay focused. I’m trying not to get upset. I’m trying not to overreact. I’m trying not to overthink. All I can do is try. No one is perfect. Don’t expect me to be.

  • November 23, 2018
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    She Might Be Beautiful, But She Isn’t You.

    And she’s beautiful, the girl in the Instagram posts. All perfect smile and perfect tan and perfect proportions. You wonder what it would take to look like her.
    If he would notice you more if you did.
    Filled with inadequacy, your heart sinks. You know how much it would take to even come close to comparison; how much it would take to grasp a standard of beauty you know you’ll never measure up to. One you’re not sure you even want to try and measure up to.
    Dear woman, you forget.
    You forget she may be all those things.
    But she isn’t you.
    She isn’t the strength of your body that has brought forth life and risen above death; battle-scarred and weary but held together with the resilience and determination of the warrior spirit that blazes beneath your bones.
    She isn’t the complexity of your mind, the paint strokes of colour and swirl like the starry night of Van Gogh’s imagination; the intelligence, the creativity, the emotion, but also the tangled knots of questions and doubts and fears; the blisters on your fingers from how much it has taken to unravel the distorted lies of your foundation to uncover the truth that now radiates from your existence.
    She isn’t the beads of light behind your eyes that glimmer with the hidden mysteries of your soul. The quick wit you carry inside the cadence of your laughter. The words of courage you fearlessly speak to those who need them. The helpless tears that overflow from your heart for those who suffer around you.
    She isn’t the love that rushes through your blood or the passion that douses your veins; the untamed wildfire that aches to be set alight by the strike of his fingers against your skin.
    She isn’t vulnerability disguised as bravery.
    She isn’t the taste of hope mingled with quiet apprehension as she learns to lean on trust once more.
    She isn’t you.
    And maybe he’ll never see that. Maybe he’ll never see beyond the surface of a woman’s skin; beyond an image on a screen, beyond a superficial ideal, beyond an unrealistic standard.
    But maybe you deserve better anyway.
    Because she might be beautiful.
    But she will never compare to you.
    And the only person who needs to see that, is you.
    By Kathy Parker
    (with permission)
    
    Please check out Kathy’s blog at : https://kathyparker.com.au/
  • November 22, 2018
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    When she stops caring about your relationship,

    she’s already moved on.

     

    A woman that loves you will do anything to work things out with you. If she gets upset, if she’s picking fights, it’s because she cares! The thought of everything not being okay between the two of you is heart-breaking for her, and so she can sometimes get frustrated and worked up just thinking about it.
    In her mind, you are everything. Remember that when you feel like she’s overreacting to something you’ve done. She wants to speak about any issues between the two of you because the relationship you have with her is one of the most important things in her life. If anything is wrong, she wants to talk about it. She wants to iron out any issues and have any fights that need to be had, because in the long run she knows it will help the two of you to be closer and stronger. She knows that if you understand each other more, you will have a better chance of lasting as a couple.
    So, don’t ever resent her for showing you she wants to fight for your relationship! It means she cares!
    This is something that many men seem to be slow to understand. When the woman in your life stops caring about you and the relationship the two of you have together, when she stops trying her to best to be close to you, it’s because she no longer sees you the way she once did. The dreams she had about the relationship the two of you could have had together have been replaced by the stark light of day that is reality. She’s woken up to the fact that you’re not the person she thought you might be, and she’s realized that you never will be that person.
    She’s moved on, and she knows the two of you won’t work out the way she once thought you might have done. When she turns around one day and says it’s over, that she’s headed in a different path to you and that there’s nothing you can do to make things work, it’s because she made up her mind a long time ago. She’s decided she deserves better than the way you treat her, and she waited until the time was right to tell you. That’s why she might seem quick to move on; she did her grieving for the relationship you once had a long time ago. She’s already cried all of the tears she had to cry for you, and she’s mourned for the time she spent thinking you were right for her. She’s sad, but she knows what has to be done. She’s prepared to do what’s right for her, even if it’s not what you think is best for you.
    She’s ready to live life on her own terms again.
    And if you’re left wondering what you could have done differently, trying to work out where you went wrong, know that the signs were all there all along. They were there when she sighed and went quiet in the middle of a fight. They were there when you made her the butt of your joke in front of your friends and she just smiled sadly. They were there when she begged you to listen to her and you wrote her off, telling her that you already knew what she was going to say.
    If she no longer seems to care when you hurt her, she’s already made her decision.
    Written by Maverick, Staff writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc.
  • November 22, 2018
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    The hardest walk is walking alone, but it’s also the walk that makes you the strongest.

  • November 22, 2018
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    I just want to take photos, drink coffee, travel the world, meet new people & be happy.

  • November 22, 2018
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    Don’t change yourself so that other people will like you. Be yourself so that the right people will love you.

  • November 22, 2018
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    You Weren’t Too Much For Him;

    He Was Never Enough For You.

    You always felt you were too much for him, with your spirited heart and vibrant laugh, your reflective mind and unabashed emotion.
    Him, who liked to keep things simple, uncomplicated. Nothing serious, nothing deep, nothing complex. Nothing that would make him think or feel. 
    Scared to frighten him away, you did what you always do.
    You made yourself less.
    Piece by piece, you tore off the parts of you that you thought would be more than he could handle. You lay them out thinly between pages of the tattered book you keep—the one that hides all the parts of yourself you’ve been afraid to show the world.
    You made yourself more manageable, more palatable, easier to handle. Because if this is what it would take for him to accept you, want you, maybe one day even love you, then you would do it. It would be worth it, for him.
    For a long time you pretended you were happy. Maybe sometimes you even thought you were. But sometimes those torn-off parts called out to you, and your body ached to have them back, to be complete again. No, you told them. You are too much, you’ll only frighten him away, as you pressed the pages together once more.
    You tried to convince yourself you could survive this way, as a silhouette—no substance, no soul. But you were empty, hollow, wasted away. Weightless, you struggled to hold yourself up any longer. You needed those parts of yourself back, the ones that held you together, the ones that made you whole.
    And so, one piece at a time, you began to restore yourself. Slowly, quietly. Maybe he wouldn’t notice. Or maybe if he did, he would somehow learn to love those extra parts of you anyway.
    The more complete you became, the harder it was to fight the truth of you. You began to share your mind, speak your thoughts. To laugh with abandon, to allow joy, sadness, anger, enthusiasm, fear, confidence, love—all emotion—to flow from you like water, like the tears he always told you not to cry. You embraced your imagination, passion, creativity, intellect, complexity, intuition, your wild spirit and ferocious heart.
    You became who you were always meant to be.
    And then, he left.
    You became too much.
    You blamed yourself, as if you had done something wrong. If only you had stayed small, less. If only you had kept those parts of yourself hidden, like they had always been. If only you hadn’t scared him away.
    No, dear heart.
    You weren’t too much for him.
    He was never enough for you.
    You need more than a silly boy who scares easily. A boy who is only willing to dip his toes in shallow water for fear of the deep. A boy who has no interest beyond the surface of your skin—to the beautiful enigma beneath.
    You need a man with the heart of a warrior, brave and loyal and fearless and strong. Deep and passionate and as filled with the complexities of the universe as you are.
    Maybe you will find him. Maybe you won’t. Either way, it doesn’t matter.
    For he is not the hero of this story.
    You are.
    Because you are enough. And all you will ever need is within you.
    Within your goddamn glorious, wondrous too much. 

    By Kathy Parker
    (with permission)

    Please check out Kathy’s blog at : https://kathyparker.com.au/

  • November 22, 2018
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    Before you assumelearn the facts. Before you judge, understand why. Before you hurt someone, feel. Before you speak, think.

  • November 22, 2018
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    Take life day by day, and be grateful for the little things. Don’t get stressed over what you can’t control.

  • November 22, 2018
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    Every woman deserves a man who will look at her each day like she is the most amazing woman he’s ever laid eyes on.

  • November 20, 2018
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    When she finally decides to let go, you won’t get her back

     

    When you’re lucky enough to have a good woman by your side, she’ll do anything for you. She’ll weather any storm, she’ll climb any mountain, and she’ll sail any ocean by your side. She’ll put up with your sh*t for months, if not years. She’ll hold on to the hope that things will improve, that one day you’ll change. She’ll take it, and take it, and take it, until she just can’t take it anymore. Every woman has her breaking point. Even the best of women have a point at which they just won’t put up with the lies, the games, the immaturity, and the distance any more. When they say enough is enough, it’s because in their heart, they know it’s time to move on.
    Maybe you have a woman in your life who seems like she puts up with the things you do that slowly push her away. Maybe you have a brilliant woman who’d give you the world if only you’d take it. If you knew just how big her heart was, how deeply and purely she loves, you wouldn’t play the games you do with her. You’d love and cherish her, in the way that someone else looks at her and wishes they could.
    She wants someone that is going to always be there for her. Someone that will always have her back, someone that she can rely on. If you’re not all of those things for her, the day will come when she realizes she deserves more.
    And when that day comes, you won’t be able to persuade her you can change.
    Because when she’s made her decision, she’s given you enough time to change. She’s been making up her mind for months, giving you every indication that she needs more from you than you can give her. She’s watched as you did nothing to change, nothing to make sure her needs are met. When she’s made up her mind, she’s finally sure of what the right thing to do is. She’ll leave.

    side view of woman in red dress feeling tranquil, looking at view of finding her peace.flying dress, freedom feelings.

    And you won’t get her back.
    She deserves to be happy. She deserves to be loved. She deserves to be with someone who fulfils her, who she is truly content with. If you can’t be that person for her, know that when she reaches her breaking point, she’s done. She’s never coming back.
    So, if you have a great woman who you don’t appreciate as much as you should, make sure you do everything you can to make it work while she still wants to make it work. Because once she decides it’s game over, you won’t get a second chance.
    Written by Maverick, Staff Writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc.
  • November 14, 2018
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    And this is how we must learn to love; without expectation or attachment.

    To understand we cannot force people to come into our lives, or stay in our lives, simply because we want them there. There is nothing forceful about love; we cannot demand it, manipulate it, control it, coerce it into being.
    We cannot bind another person to us but must understand those who want to be in our lives, will be. Indecision is still a decision; if we must convince someone to see our worth then they do not belong in our lives. There is no place for those who are not ready or able to love us now, as we are, and to set them free is to create space in our heart for those who will see us, and love us, as we deserve; it is to set ourselves free also.
    To love without expectation does not mean we should ever be okay with a love that offers us no loyalty, respect, understanding, or hurts us in any way. But that we learn to love without an expectation of outcome; that we cannot place those we love inside our predetermined ideas of relationship but must allow love to manifest of its own accord, all the while finding the grace to accept we may not always get the outcome we hope for.
    It is allowing those we love to put their own needs first, even if those needs do not include us; to become whole enough within ourselves that we do not need another to complete us. To love ourselves enough that we do not need another to prove we are worthy of love. To learn to love in a way which honours both them and ourselves.
    It is accepting that there are days love will hurt; days our wounds of rejection and abandonment will be reopened when someone we have loved is no longer there; it is learning to sit with our pain in those times, to lean into it and know this too shall pass; tomorrow it will hurt less to breathe, tomorrow we will lift our heads a little higher toward the sky.
    To love without expectation or attachment means to be open to allowing love to enter, but also to be willing to set another free. Knowing when we let go of someone we love it will make us bleed, yet so will the blisters on our hands from holding so tight as we force them to stay. Allow them to go; allow their freedom to become your closure. Their journey is not yours, and that is okay. Take what you have learnt, and use it to become stronger, and wiser, as you continue down your own path; eyes and heart open to new horizons ahead.

    Written by Kathy Parker

    ( with permission)

    Kathy Parker is a Warrior. Dreamer. Creator. Writer. Fighter of all that is beautiful and good. Advocator for the underdog. Truth-teller. Empath. Passionate soul. Lover of land and ocean. Coffee drinker. Gentle spirit. Sensitive soul. Wild heart. Survivor. She is a freelance writer, blogger for HuffPost Australia, and columnist for elephant journal who is currently writing her first manuscript.

    Married to a farmer in the Limestone Coast of South Australia, she is also a mother to four astonishing children.

    Find out more about Kathy at her blog: https://kathyparker.com.au/

  • November 10, 2018
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    Some of us have been through things so traumatic that the human mind isn’t built to handle but we fight and persevere every single day and night. If that’s not strength I don’t what is. You are a survivor.

  • November 10, 2018
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    Never force anything. Just let it be. If it’s meant to be, it will be.

  • November 10, 2018
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    “Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the most wonderful things that will ever happen to us”
    ― Nicole Reed,

  • November 10, 2018
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    6 Actionable Ways to Overcome Cycles of Negativity

    It’s easy to get caught up in a cycle of negativity. When everything seems to be broken or life seems to be going against you. What do you do? How do you overcome? I recently received an email asking just that, maybe you can relate?
    “How did you deal with your negative thoughts day to day? Like I am underpaid, looking for a new job but I keep finding jobs in places that are so expensive and the salary isn’t worth it. I feel stuck. It feels stressful but I try to stay positive. Some days are more difficult. How did you get through those days?”
    So how do you get through those days? Aside from your physical circumstances which can or cannot be controlled; it’s your mindset that needs to be controlled and adjusted. Take a look at how you view your life. Is it through a negative lens? If so, it’s effecting you and most likely those closest to you.
    Think of it this way, I recently wrote an article for a publication; I was writing a section on “self-talk” and how important it is to feed your mind with positive thoughts and how it’s only a matter of time before your reality matches your self-talk.
    The last line I wrote was this:  Stop telling yourself you can’t do it. After editing it, here’s how I changed that line to be more positive:  Start telling yourself you can do it.
    Now this doesn’t seem like a huge difference but that subtle change can mentally alter your drive to be proactive. Your level of motivation to fight through and see the positive develops. Here are some practical ways for you to start building healthy habits in order to overcome cycles of negativity and push to see the positive!
    1. Focus on the positive
    For some, this may be a minute by minute struggle. It’s about recognizing the negative thoughts and replacing them with something positive. Everyone knows the old saying, “seeing the glass half full” gradually you will build the positive habit.
    1. Remind yourself how fortunate you are (no matter how small)
    If you are reading this you can see. You are breathing. Do you have a family, a wife, a husband, or kids? Are you healthy? Do you have a roof over your head and food on the table?
    1. Realize there is a lesson in every struggle
    No matter the circumstance, the best way to say it is “grow through what you go through.” The lesson may be internal (patience, self-control, discipline) or maybe it’s external (avoid this or that, whether someone is trustworthy) or most of the time, both.
    1. Continue to develop yourself and continue learning and growing
    If you are continuously self-developing, you are empowering yourself with a wider range of options. Limited knowledge limits opportunities. The more you learn and grow, the better you can see and leverage multiple options and opportunities. It will help you to quickly adapt and overcome negative situations and not be stuck in a downward cycle.
    1. Put yourself on a time out. We all need a breather or a break in the daily “rat race.” Setting aside daily meditation or quiet time.
    1. Surround yourself with people who support you and desire to see you grow. If you are continuously around negative people then negativity will be your influence.  Find people that live positive habits.
    Remember, all seasons have an ending. Humans can withstand pretty much anything knowing that the season will not last forever. Be patient with yourself. It’s not likely you will reprogram your mind in a day, week or even a month. What matters is your continued effort to redirect and reprogram your mind and healthy habits are being established.
    Deinno O’Keefe, Traveler, Digital Influencer, Soldier, and Founder of oneepiclife.org, a movement out of San Diego, CA empowering people to live epic lives.
    Follow Deinno O’Keefe on Instagram: www.instagram.com/deinnoe has tremendous benefits.

     

    Deinno is a San Diego-based entrepreneur and life coach, with an MBA
    from Marywood University and is currently serving his second tour with the U.S. Army 
    in Afghanistan.  He is the founder of One Life Epic, a movement designed to empower 
    people to live mentally epic lives through concepts such as getting out of your comfort 
    zone, being confident in your identity, overcoming fear and maintaining a healthy 
    and fit lifestyle. 
  • November 10, 2018
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    I had to forgive a person who wasn’t even sorry—that’s strength.

  • November 10, 2018
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    Stay kind. It makes you beautiful.
    -Najwa Zebian

  • November 10, 2018
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    Classy is when you have a lot to say but you choose to remain silent in front of fools.

  • November 10, 2018
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    Five reasons why the best women are often those who struggle most to find love;

    Those among us who have the greatest amount of love to give – the most potential to be everything their future partner has ever wanted – are often the ones who find it hardest to find the thing we all crave so much; real, genuine, lasting love.

    But why?

    The answer isn’t simple.

    Here are five reasons why the best women are often those who struggle most to find love:

    They need to find someone who is their equal

    Part of being a strong, independent woman is not settling for anything less than a partner who is your equal. This can be hard to find – there are plenty of people out there who would rather not treat their significant other as their equal, and see them as inferior in some way. It can be harder to find love when you have good standards!

     

    They won’t settle for less commitment than they’re prepared to give themselves

    The most amazing women have so much love and commitment to give that they won’t settle for anything less from their partner than they’d give out themselves. This can make it hard to find love when you’re looking for someone who is able to give as much as you can – there’s just not as many people capable of providing this as we might wish there were.

    They are honest and genuine and expect the same from others

    Expecting your partner to be as honest with you as you are with them seems like a basic expectation from a relationship, but many people are or have been in relationships where this just isn’t the case. Lots of people out there are neither genuine nor honest, and have no interestin trying to become either one of these things. This can make it hard to find real love when you want to find a person who’ll treat you with basic human decency.

    They are often very romantic

    Plenty of us build things up in our heads sometimes, romanticising everything and fantasising about what could be. It’s part of being human. The best among us are often the biggest dreamers, the most romantic. This can make us prone to falling head over heels in love with the wrong people as we overlook their flaws and focus only on the aspects of them that we like.

    They spend more time and effort on themselves than on others

    Spending more time alone, working on yourself than out socialising or meeting others means that naturally you’re meeting less people. This could mean you’re potentially missing out on lots of great potential partners. However, there’s always a trade-off. If you spend more time trying to meet someone, you spend less time becoming the best possible version of yourself. It’s all about finding the right balance for you.

    Don’t let these reasons for struggling to find love stop you from being the strong, amazing woman you are. The right person will come along when the time is right for you and them. Focus on yourself and the rest will come – never chase love at your own expense. The right person will be worth the wait.

    Written by Maverick, Staff Writer for Lessons Learned In Life Inc.
  • November 10, 2018
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    Don’t beg: when to walk away from someone

    Many people will go to great lengths and put up with a lot of hardship to keep their significant other around, or to try and keep the interest of a potential partner. If they’re not good enough for you, if they don’t value you like they should, or if they’re not interested – move on.

    Too many people make the mistake of staying with a partner that isn’t good for them. Sometimes, this is because it’s too painful to let the relationship go after they’ve invested so much time and energy into it. Other times it’s because they genuinely think that their partner will be able to change for the better. It’s understandable – ending a relationship can be an extremely distressing experience, especially when you depend on your partner for emotional, financial or practical support, or you fear their reaction.

     

     

    Life is too short

    The hard-to-swallow truth is that life is far too short to waste spending time with the wrong person.Knowing if your partner is a good or bad presence in your life can be frustratingly hard to figure out, however – our brains can make it extremely hard to think clearly and rationally at times. We tend to focus more on the positives and less on the negatives, even if there’s more of them and even if they’re nothing short of awful to an outside observer. Love can be a powerful drug.

    The same holds true for people dating or chasing a potential partner. If they’re not being consistent with you, if they’re on and off, or hot and cold – just walk away. Best case scenario, they like you and are playing mind games (something which just isn’t done by emotionally mature people), and worst case – they’re just not that into you. Regardless, if someone isn’t willing to be open and honest about their feelings, to talk about things in an adult and mature manner, then you’re almost certainly better off without them.

     

    How to tell if your partner is right for you

    If you can’t be yourself – your true self, around them. If they ever intentionally make you feel nervous or scared, or if they think little about you and your feelings before they make decisions that affect you. If they’re ever callous or cruel towards you, or disrespectful. If they don’t put equal effort and commitment in to the relationship – if it’s unbalanced. If any of these things are true about your relationship, the truth is that they’re probably just not right for you.

     

     

    If they’re not? Walk away

    Life is too short to be with someone who doesn’t deserve you, or to chase someone who doesn’t see how special you are. Everyone makes mistakes, but not everyone learns from them. Don’t wait around for a change that may or may not ever come. Live your life for you. Don’t beg, don’t give in to the feeling that you can’t make it alone and that you need someone else in your life to be happy. Walk away.

     

    Written by Maverick, Staff writter.

  • November 10, 2018
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    Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths: Seven ways to spot them (and then avoid them like the plague!)

     

    Together, they make up approximately 11% of the world’s population. The majority of them can be incredibly toxic influences on your life due to their lack of empathy and remorse. They are people with narcissistic, psychopathic, or sociopathic personality disorders.

    They’re certain to pop up in your life from time to time. If you can identify them quickly, you can do your best to steer clear and avoid being caught up in their manipulative webs. Unfortunately, however, dealing with malignant people is part of life. Here are eight ways you can go about spotting them to make sure your guard is up when dealing with them. Beware, they can be difficult to spot.

     

    They work hard to maintain their outward image

    Part of the reason that narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are so dangerous is that many of them go to extreme lengths to make sure they’re perceived a certain way by the people they know. They work hard to perpetuate an image of themselves as being polite, well liked, and capable. A particular circumstance that causes this image to fall into doubt can cause an extreme reaction in people with these antisocial personalities, as it threatens the integrity of the image they’ve worked to build for themselves.

     

    They seem charming

    A charming demeanor is the bread and butter of people attempting to put up a false front. They will go out of their way to flatter and ingratiate themselves with others, especially new acquaintances.Buying gifts, sweet-talk, and doing people favors seemingly out of nowhere are all part of their repertoire. Contrary to what they say, gifts and favors from these people are not free, and they will attempt to cash them in like a voucher at the supermarket when they have need of you.

     

    They lie, often

    Lying comes as second nature to people with anti-social behavior disorders. They feel no empathy, no remorse for the consequences of their selfish actions. They will lie through their teeth, even with clear evidence against them. They will lie and cheat by day and sleep soundly every night.

     

    They will very rarely apologise

    Due to their lack of a conscience, narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths almost never apologise for their actions or words. If they do, it’s usually only a partial or insincere apology, often as part of a wider plan to deceive in full by apologising in part. They might intentionally lose a battle to win the war, but it’s something that they find very difficult to do otherwise. They feel no guilt. They see no reason to make another person feel better with an apology.

     

    They’re manipulative

    By far the most commonly shared trait of narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths is manipulation. To them, everything and everyone is simply a means to an end, a tool to be used to help themselves. Every person they meet is another opportunity to play the game, to further their own selfish ambitions to control and dominate others.

     

    They love to play the victim

    A large part of manipulating people is the ability to play the victim. People out to control others like puppets on strings will not hesitate to assume the role of the injured party, even when they’re the ones responsible for the situation they’re claiming to be a victim of, and all the while continuing to lie through their teeth.

     

    They have a superiority complex

     

    People with these personality disorders have no thought for others beyond how they can use them. They think only of their own selfish desires, and as such, feel themselves to be the center of their own little universes. They are utterly superior in their own minds.

    Although there’s no way to go through life totally avoiding toxic people like those with the personality disorders mentioned in this article, you can do your best to identify them and keep them at a distance once you have. If you have reason to suspect someone you know has one of these personalities, keep them at arm’s length and be wary of how much of yourself you expose to them. It doesn’t take much for them to dig their hooks in!

    Written by Maverick, Staff writter,

    Lessons Learned In Life Inc.

  • November 8, 2018
    7
    2
    Thank You for Teaching Me I Was Worth More Than You: An Open Letter to the One Who Nearly Broke Me, But Not Quite

     

    “You didn’t love her. You just didn’t want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was good for your ego. Or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life. But you didn’t love her, because you don’t destroy the person that you love” (Grey’s Anatomy)

     

    When I look back now, it’s hard to believe I ever thought you loved me. How desperate I must have been to call that love when in your hands I became so small; crushed by the heaviness of your fingers as they pressed into my skin, the imprint faded but still visible after all this time. How eroded my worth became with each crash of furious words that washed against the already worn breakwaters of my heart. How afraid I became of not just you, but of everything I once was that I no longer trusted myself to be, for fear I would take a wrong step and set off another landmine beneath the surface of your skin.

     

    You left that day, stopping only to push the knife in a little deeper on your way out the door. The pain was so great I hoped to bleed out, right there on the floor where you left me. I wondered if I could survive what you had done to me; if I even wanted to. But resilience has always coursed through my veins faster than sorrow and though weak, I found the courage to pick myself up from the floor that day.

     

    It all seems so long ago now. How far I have come since these pale scars were once open wounds. How distant the taste of bitterness upon my tongue now seems. I’ve long since stopped wanting to call, to write, to tell you of all the ways you nearly broke me, but not quite. Instead, I have come to realise should I ever pass by you on the street, there is only two words I would need to say.

     

    Thank you.

     

    Thank you for teaching me I will never again settle for someone who can destroy a woman and call that love; who can not only justify their abuse through victim-blaming, but make a woman believe they actually deserved such abuse.

     

    Thank you for teaching me I will never again be controlled by another in a relationship; that I am the keeper of my own life, my own choices and my own relationships and I’m entitled to live my life with freedom, and not be imprisoned by another person’s power over me.

     

    Thank you for teaching me I need not compromise who I am and all I believe in order to be loved; that I do not need to scrape my knees on the ground of another’s approval, nor ever apologise for who I am to those who choose not to accept me regardless.

     

    Thank you for teaching me I do not need another to complete me; that I am better off being alone than ever being with someone who does not love me with respect, kindness, thoughtfulness, gentleness, acceptance.

     

    Thank you for teaching me never to look back; for all the apologies that didn’t reach your eyes, for all the promises spoken through lying teeth, for all the times I did come back only to end up more shattered by you each time.

     

    Thank you for helping me understand men like you never change.

     

    Thank you for teaching me I am worth more than you.

     

    Thank you for teaching me about love.

     

    The kind of love you could never give.

     

    The kind of love I am worth.

     

    The kind of love I will only ever accept from another so long as they can love me the way I have finally learned to love myself.

    Written by Kathy Parker

    ( with permission)

    Kathy Parker is a Warrior. Dreamer. Creator. Writer. Fighter of all that is beautiful and good. Advocator for the underdog. Truth-teller. Empath. Passionate soul. Lover of land and ocean. Coffee drinker. Gentle spirit. Sensitive soul. Wild heart. Survivor. She is a freelance writer, blogger for HuffPost Australia, and columnist for elephant journal who is currently writing her first manuscript.

    Married to a farmer in the Limestone Coast of South Australia, she is also a mother to four astonishing children.

    Find out more about Kathy at her blog: https://kathyparker.com.au/

  • November 8, 2018
    2
    21

    Your wound is not your fault, but your healing is your responsibility.

  • November 8, 2018
    2
    65

    Make sure everybody in your boat is rowing and not drilling holes when you’re not looking. Know your circle.

  • November 8, 2018
    3
    44

    As you get older, you really just want to be surrounded by good people. People that are good for you, good to you and good for your soul.

  • November 8, 2018
    1
    18

    I’m at a point in my life where I just want my family happy, my faith strong, my health good, my mind right, and no unnecessary drama.

  • November 8, 2018
    6
    9

    I just want an honest relationship. No lies.

    No mind games. No cheating.

     

    The concept of being faithful within a relationship is very important to the majority of people. There aren’t many people who want to be in a relationship with someone who is unfaithful to them. The thing is, people tend to have differing opinions on exactly what being unfaithful means. For some, the line is drawn at anything physical. Kissing, intimate touching, and sex all constitute cheating for them. For others, emotional cheating is just as bad – or even worse. That means being emotionally intimate with another person, flirting with them, talking about or actually having feelings for them, and so on.

    In my opinion, the line between staying faithful and infidelity is pretty simple and doesn’t need to be complicated. To me, being unfaithful constitutes doing anything with another person that you wouldn’t do with your partner present. If you do something that you wouldn’t have done in full view of your partner, you’re being unfaithful to some extent.

    Whether it’s a glance at another person that lingers too long, flirting, or kissing another person, the fact that you’re doing something you just wouldn’t do in front of your partner means you’re not being the honest version of yourself around them. You’re holding back, showing them one side of you while being capable of doing other things behind their back. That dishonesty of character, in my eyes, constitutes being unfaithful. Unfaithfulness to your partner, unfaithfulness to your relationship, and unfaithfulness to the trust and honesty that any relationship needs if it’s going to last.

    I’d argue that this definition even applies to things in life that don’t constitute cheating. If you’re hiding part of yourself, part of your life, from your partner, and not telling them about it, you’re not being honest with them. You’re being unfaithful to the relationship. They don’t really know the real, full you like they think they do.

    You’re someone else when you know they’re not watching.

    Staying faithful to your partner isn’t just about not jumping into bed with another person. It’s about consistently holding yourself to the same standards of behaviour that you would if your partner was right there next to you. No one wants to be in a relationship with someone who changes when they’re not there. Being faithful means holding yourself accountable for your actions and behaviour.

    You always have a choice as to how you behave. If your relationship means as much to you as a healthy relationship should, then control yourself and aim to always be the same, consistent version of yourself – regardless of whether or not there’s anyone watching.

    Being faithful means that you choose your partner, every minute, every second of every day. It means being honest, being consistent, and being the same version of yourself no matter the circumstances.

    When you have a relationship where this expectation is made clear by both parties, you have a strong, trusting bond as a foundation to build on. The confidence in your partner you feel when you know how much being totally faithful means to them will take you a long way in life, no matter how hard things get.

    If you love someone, treat them with the respect they deserve.

    Written by Maverick, Staff writer for Lessons Learned In Life Inc.
  • November 7, 2018
    6
    165

    When someone helps you and they’re struggling too, that’s not help that’s love.

  • November 7, 2018
    6
    33

    Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to how they used to be.

  • November 7, 2018
    1
    44

    When the day arrives that there are no more tomorrows for me, I want my children to Know and never forget that they were, are, and always will be deeply loved by me.

  • November 7, 2018
    0
    35

    Staying positive doesn’t mean you have to be happy all of the time. It means that even on hard days youknow that there are better ones coming.

  • November 7, 2018
    9
    36

    Stop letting it bother youjust let it go. Your mind can only take so much.

  • November 6, 2018
    5
    11

    I Will Try Everything in My Power to Make Things Work,

    but if You Leave Me No Choice, You’ll Never See Me Again.

    I’m the kind of person who always tries to turn the other cheek, to understand where others are coming from. I try to put myself in other people’s shoes, to try and work out why they do the things they do. This understanding mindset means I often forgive others for things they’ve done wrong – even if I don’t forget. I do my best to talk things out, patch things up, and move on with my life a better person for having had the experience.
    However, I have a limit. There are always lines that just shouldn’t be crossed, and boundaries that, if pushed, are unforgivable to me. Being an understanding and forgiving person doesn’t mean I’m a pushover. I’m not a doormat. I’m not someone to be walked all over and taken advantage of.
    When it comes to the different relationships in my life, I try my hardest to make things work. With family, with friends, with partners – I always try my very best to keep any relationship I have with someone strong, happy, and healthy. I know, though, that this isn’t always possible.
    And when it’s not, I walk away.
    If a person isn’t worth another chance, if I know they’ll only let me down, if they’ve betrayed me in a way that shows me their true colors and makes it impossible to trust them again, I cut them off. They will never see me again. In that way, I make sure I only surround myself with people who are good for my happiness and wellbeing. If someone isn’t up to scratch, they go.
    Don’t get me wrong, life is far too short to hold grudges. It’s far better to just live and let live. I’d never go out of my way to cause drama, or make a situation worse, or seek revenge. But I know my worth, and I know what I’ll tolerate and what I won’t. The hard truth is that some people are toxic. These people will never stop causing drama, and never stop making your life harder. Some people will never be good friends, or good family members. I cut these people out of my life whenever I realize what their true nature is.
    I want to surround myself only with good people. I want to be able to rely on my friends and family. To know that I have their backs, and in return they have mine. I am in control of my life. I am in control of who stays and who goes. Having access to my life is a privilege, not a right. If I can’t trust you to treat me the way I’d treat you, you don’t get to keep using me. I will simply walk away from you and never look back.
    While forgiveness is important, sometimes things happen that I just can’t forgive. If I let people that have wronged me intentionally stay in my life, I’m just as much to blame as they are if and when they wrong me again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me for giving you the opportunity. Life may be too short for grudges, but it’s also too short to naively trust that people will eventually change when they give you every indication that they won’t.
    That doesn’t mean I give up on people easily, however.
    I will fight tooth and nail to save any relationship that matters to me. I’ll do everything in my power to salvage things. If there’s any bitterness, any misunderstandings or mutual hurt, I’ll try my best to patch it up. But if a person leaves me no choice, if they do things beyond the pale, things that don’t deserve my forgiveness, I won’t hesitate to make sure they never see me again.
    Written by Maverick, Staff writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc.
  • November 5, 2018
    12
    111

    Sometimes I wonder if anyone is glad to have me in their life.

  • November 5, 2018
    3
    16

    As you get older, you can energetically feel the difference between people who love you and those who care at their own convenience.

  • November 5, 2018
    1
    21

    Your anxiety is lying to you. You are loved and going to be okay.

  • November 5, 2018
    15
    44

    The older you get the more you realize your mom is your best friend in life.

  • November 5, 2018
    3
    25

    Never stop being a good person because of bad people.

  • November 5, 2018
    2
    32

    A meaningful life is not about being rich, being popular or being highly educated. It’s about being real, humble and kind.

  • November 5, 2018
    1
    28

    I never cared about the material things a man could give me. I care about his time, attention, honesty, loyalty and effort. Those gifts mean more to me than money can buy.

  • November 5, 2018
    1
    9

    Ain’t nobody crazier than your cousins on your mama side.

  • November 5, 2018
    2
    12

    Love Her the Way She Deserves to be Loved,

    or Let Her Go.

    Have you ever felt stuck in a relationship where you felt under-appreciated? Where you loved your partner with all of your heart, but you knew deep down that the love you were given by them in return just wasn’t good enough?
    You’re not alone. Plenty of women are or at some point have been trapped in the same situation. They feel like they’re not loved the way they deserve to be. Like they don’t get the same amount of effort out of the relationship as what they put in. They feel like their compassion, kindness, and love is met with disinterest and distraction. No one should have to feel this way. No one deserves to be made to feel like their relationship is just one disappointment after the next.
    If you don’t treat her the way she deserves to be treated, then you don’t deserve her.
    She deserves to be loved properly. She deserves to be made to feel valued, appreciated and understood. You should be doing the things for her that she is so ready and willing to do for you. You should be surprising her with flowers or turning up at her work with lunch. You should be cooking her dinner and leaving little notes around the house that tell her how much you love and appreciate her. You don’t have to spend loads of money on jewellery or expensive clothes, just take her on a date once in a while, and do little things for her often. Show her you mean it when you say ‘I love you.’ Love is all about showing that you think about and appreciate your partner.
    Love isn’t always easy. No relationship is perfect. You can’t expect to not ever have disagreements or misunderstandings. Love isn’t about never arguing, or having a fairy tale relationship that’s all smiles and roses. It’s about being there through thick and thin. Through the bad times and the good. It’s about being selfless, about putting your partner first and always trying your best to consider their feelings. It’s about two people cooperating to build something beautiful something greater than the sum of its parts. It’s about using each other for mutual support, not trying to use your partner as a platform to stand on so you can get higher yourself while pushing them down.
    If you won’t love her on her best days as well as on her worst, if you won’t always be there for her no matter how hard things get, and if you won’t do all the things she’d so readily do for you, you’re not loving her the way she deserves to be loved. If you can’t love her the way she deserves, you should let her go.
    The truth is that there are many, many people out there who would jump at the chance to shower her with love and affection the way she does you. To be part of a mutually loving, caring relationship is one of life’s most beautiful experiences. If you have a chance at that, and you let it go because you can’t be bothered to put in the small amount of effort it takes to love her properly, more fool you.
    Loving someone is about accepting them as they come and not trying to change them. It’s about showing them you appreciate them and everything they do, and showing them that you’d do anything for them. Loving the woman in your life involves practice and patience.
    Loving her is a choice you have to make every day. You have to choose to be kind to her, to listen to her when she speaks. You have to choose to take the time to get to really know her – not just on the surface, but deep down. Spend the time and energy that are required loving and understanding your partner, the way she does for you.
    If you won’t show her the love she deserves, and you won’t let her go, know that everyone has a limit. Everyone has a breaking point. You may well wake up one day to find it’s too late. That she’s waited long enough for you to make up your mind, so she’s made it up for you and left.
    Written by Maverick, Staff writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc.
  • November 3, 2018
    7
    13

    It’s nice when someone remembers small details about you. Not because you keep reminding them, but because they actually care.