Archive for October, 2018
October 31, 2018
Life has knocked me down a few times. It has shown me things I never wanted to see. I have experienced sadness and failures. But one thing for sure, I always get up.
October 29, 2018
Happiness is having a husband who is also your best friend.
October 18, 2018
Sleeping next to someone you love makes you fall asleep faster, reduces depression, and helps you live longer.
October 13, 2018
The Myth Of ‘Playing Hard To Get’
When it comes to dating, playing ‘hard to get’ is a common tactic. Maybe it’s you, maybe it’s them – dodging calls, taking a day to reply to texts, being hot and cold – the list goes on. The idea surrounding this technique is that if you play it right, you can supposedly keep the person you’re playing the game with on the edge of their seat, unable to stop thinking about you and desperate for your attention. The mixed signals you emit when using this method are intended to confuse the other person, giving them just enough interest and attention to keep them hungry and wanting more, but not enough to show you’re genuinely interested.
Mind games like this are often ineffective, however. Below are five reasons why playing hard to get doesn’t work!
It can push the other person away
This is one of the most common consequences of playing hard to get (or any kind of mind games at all, really) with someone you like. The constant mixed signals, distance, and lack of enthusiasm can take their toll and end up driving away the person you wanted to keep close and under your thumb. Watch out that you don’t take it too far, or you may find that the object of your affection is no longer interested in chasing you.
Establishing a weak foundation for a relationship
If your goal from playing hard to get is to eventually enter a relationship with the person you’re playing it with, perhaps reconsider your course of action. Even if you win them over, your work will be far from done. In many cases, you’ll enter the relationship on uneven ground. The lack of honesty, openness, self-confidence, and emotional maturity displayed playing such games may linger in the kind of your partner. These issues can fester and cause resentment further down the line. Not being honest with them originally about your intentions and how you feel often leaves a mark.
It typically doesn’t work on secure people
Someone that is secure in themselves, with a good sense of their own self-worth, is less likely to put up with mind games and the cold shoulder. They’d rather just be honest and mature about the situation, and they’re likely to know that no relationship that is worth it would need mind games to reel them in in the first place.
Mind games breed mind games
If you play with fire, prepare to get burned. Playing mind games with someone like being hard to get is a sure-fire way to find yourself the victim of their own mind games. Watch out – you might end up getting played at your own game.
At the end of the day, playing hard to get is a big red flag of emotional immaturity. If you like someone, show it. If you don’t like them, tell them. Stringing them along often isn’t going to achieve anything other than wasting their time as well as your own. Anyone with a mature mindset will see playing mind games in a whole other light, and will quite possibly steer clear from you altogether in a romantic sense.
But the bottom line is this: if you meet someone that you’re legitimately interested in, act interested. If they’re interested too, they won’t think twice about the fact that you’re not “playing hard to get.”
Written by Maverick, Staff writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc.
October 12, 2018
I’d Rather Be Single Than Be In A Relationship That Makes Me Feel Alone.
While there are some who aren’t afraid of being single or alone, for many people, being single is a nightmare. They crave the company of other people, and feel vulnerable and directionless when alone. For people like this, a relationship is the ultimate goal. It means they never have to be alone. Every night, they can sleep next to someone. Whenever they’re bored, or lonely, they have someone to talk to and be with. This often means, however, that they get into relationships with the wrong people – they’re more likely to overlook their partners flaws in their desperation to avoid being alone.
Below are five reasons why it’s better to be single than in a relationship with the wrong person.
The wrong person won’t let you be yourself
When you’re single, you’re the authentic you. When in a relationship with the wrong person, we feel the need to change our behaviour to conform to what is expected of us by out partner. Being with the wrong person often involves acting in a way that isn’t true to ourselves. It’s better to be single than to be with someone who doesn’t like it when you’re goofy, or when you sleep in on weekends, or when you want to watch a certain film or eat certain foods.
The wrong person won’t understand you
They won’t be able to have deep, meaningful conversations with you. You’ll feel frustrated by the lack of any attempt at trying to see things from your point of view. They might well belittle you and make you feel small for having your own opinions and way of doing things. None of this happens when you’re single – there’s no one there to judge you for what you think or say.
The wrong person isn’t good company
When you’re secure in yourself and happy with your own company, you don’t need someone there all the time. Your own company is good enough. Being alone isn’t a hard or unpleasant experience. When you’re in a relationship with the wrong person, however, their company is often not the nicest. They might be irritable and unkind, or perhaps they don’t get your sense of humor and don’t make you laugh. That’s not a problem when you’re single.
The wrong person won’t love you for who you are
Being yourself is one of the most important things in life. It’s the root of happiness and fulfilment. If you’re with someone who is fundamentally wrong for you, they won’t love you for who you are. They won’t appreciate all the little unique things that make you you. When you’re single, you can love yourself as much as you want. You can appreciate your quirks, be happy and fulfilled and enough for yourself.
The wrong person will probably hurt you
A relationship with the wrong person is a relationship with an expiry date. Whether it takes ten months or ten years, it won’t last. When it ends, you’ll most likely end up getting hurt. When you’re single, this isn’t something you have to deal with.
Being single, with the right perspective and outlook, is brilliant. Being in a happy, fulfilling, and loving relationship with the right person is even better. Being with the wrong person, however, is far worse than being alone. Don’t make the common mistake of jumping into relationships with anyone just to avoid having to be by yourself for a while.
The right relationship will come one day. But now, it’s time to focus on the most important relationship. The one with yourself.
Written by Maverick, Staff writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc.
October 11, 2018
Moving on from heartbreak: the seven best ways to heal the wounds from losing the one you love
Most of us go through heartbreak at some point in our lives. There are few things more terrifying and disorienting than the realization that someone who was once very dear to you is no longer going to be in your life in the way you wanted, expected, and perhaps even needed. While nothing will ever be able to completely take the pain away apart from time, here are seven of the best ways to help yourself heal after losing the one you love.
Keep a sense of perspective
It’s important to think through the situation and to come to terms with has happened and why. Reflect on everything. If your partner left you, why? What reasons did they give? (If they didn’t give you closure, speaking to close friends always helps). Come to terms with the reasons why you broke up. If you lost your partner due to them passing away, remember that as sad as it is, no one lives forever. It’s not fair that they’re gone, but it was always going to happen eventually. What’s important is to keep on going, to live as you know they would have wanted you to.
Keep yourself busy
Keep occupied, keep active. Plan your days and work hard to be as productive and focused on work as you can be. Put your hands and mind to work on something positive and constructive, rather than giving yourself lots of spare time to dwell on the past. Thinking things through is helpful; obsessing and ruminating for hours on end over situation that is in the past and that you can’t change is not.
Remember that life goes on
Whatever happens, life goes on. The world doesn’t end because you’ve lost someone’s presence in your life, no matter how much they meant to you. Things might not ever be quite the same as they once were, but life is bigger than any one person. You still have life to live, experiences to have, and stories to tell.
Work on yourself
Self-improvement is a vital part of moving on from any loss. It helps to focus your attention on something positive and can give you a much-needed mood lift. Seeing positive results helps you to feel better about yourself and boost your self-esteem when you feel like you’ll never find someone special again, too. Exercise is a brilliant way of doing this.
Talk to friends and family
Bottling up your feelings is never a good idea. Just talking about what has happened will help lift some of the burden – if only a little bit. Getting other people’s thoughts and perspectives on the situation is also extremely helpful in learning to move on.
Let time heal you
At the end of the day, the only thing that will take the pain away is time. New experiences and life events will bring about a shift in perspective, and eventually you’ll learn to realise that what happened was probably for the best, and doesn’t mean you can’t be happy ever again. Let your experiences shape and mold you, good and bad alike. Learn, grow, and adapt.
Meet new people
While this often isn’t a great idea to rush into too soon, once you’re ready it’s important to meet new people. They open up new doors and give you avenues into new parts of life that can be experienced. Being in the company of new people can help to lift your mood and give you a sense of purpose and perspective.
Pain from heartbreak is a strange thing. If you and someone you love have broken up, you’ll probably find that further down the road the pain heals. You’ll find someone else – the right person, eventually. You’ll learn new lessons about yourself and others, and become a happier person for having had the experience. You’ll know that what happened was for the best, that things couldn’t have carried on the way they were – if it was right for both of you, you wouldn’t have broken up, after all.
If you’ve lost someone through death, the situation is somewhat different. It’s a loose end. Who knows how you would have ended up? There’s no closure there. It’s easy to imagine that everything would have worked out if they’d lived, even though there’s no way to know for sure. The best thing to do in this scenario is to remember that the pain will subside eventually. It will never completely go away – loss through death is just too painful, too heart-wrenching. It will get less and less frequent, though.
While you’ll always miss them, over the course of a few years you might go from daily pain whenever thinking of them to pain and heartache only a couple of days a week. From there, it might become a few days a month, then a year. In time, the pain becomes less frequent, and less intense when you do feel it. It becomes manageable, something you can deal with, rather than the overwhelming grief experienced immediately after someone’s death.
Written by Maverick – Staff writer at Lessons Learned In Life Inc.
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