To encourage you to keep going.
To remind you to be strong.

Archive for April, 2018

  • April 30, 2018
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    Psychologists established a strong link between one’s sleeping position and the way they view the world. In fact, scientists believe that a sleeping person’s body language never lies.

    What does your sleeping position mean?

    Determine your favorite sleeping position and check out the interpretation;

    1.    Sleeping on your back

    As a rule, sleeping in this position means you’re feeling quite relaxed. It’s a sign of confidence and psychological power.  Confident people are always ready to take in new information and make new acquaintances. However, confidence can often turn into arrogance. Spreading your arms and legs wide and taking up a lot of space on the bed would be a definite sign.

    2.    Fetal position

    This position characterized by sleeping on your side with your legs often pressed up against your belly, and your arms wrapped around your body or the blanket. People who sleep in this position usually stay in one corner of the bed and like to sleep next to a wall. This position indicates that a person feels insecure or uncertain, and doesn’t feel like engaging in situations and events happening around them. They need a ‘guardian’, someone who can take care of them and protect them from life’s challenges.

    3.    Sleeping on your belly

    This position is characterized by sleeping on your belly hugging the bed with your arms. A person will normally rest their arms on the pillow or alongside their body, with their legs straightened. A person who sleeps predominantly in this position likes to take charge and make his own decisions in life. They often don’t take criticism very well, as they believe their own actions and decisions are usually the ‘correct’ ones. This sleeping position indicates the person is stubborn and extremely driven to achieve their goal, as well as attentive to detail.

    4.    Sleeping on the side

    The last sleeping position is characterized by sleeping on your side, but not curled up in a ball like the first one. Your arms and legs are stretched out, or slightly bent. As a rule, this position can be distinguished from the fetal position as the body tends to look more relaxed. People who prefer this sleeping position have an analytical mindset, are stable and reliable. They find it quite easy to adapt to any situation in life, and can overcome hardships without possessing the extraordinary mental strength or any kind of special qualities.

    5.   The snorer – The snorer is often easily irritated, usually within seconds they can become aggressive.  Probably because they don’t get enough sleep.

     

    Lessons Learned In Life Inc,
    Staff Writer.

  • April 30, 2018
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    Those Top 37 Things You’ll Regret When You’re Old.

    1. Not traveling when you had the chance.

    Traveling becomes infinitely harder the older you get, especially if you have a family and need to pay the way for three-plus people instead of just yourself.

    2. Not learning another language.

    You’ll kick yourself when you realize you took three years of language in high school and remember none of it.

    3. Staying in a bad relationship.

    No one who ever gets out of a bad relationship looks back without wishing they made the move sooner.

    4. Forgoing sunscreen.

    Wrinkles, moles, and skin cancer can largely be avoided if you protect yourself.

    5. Missing the chance to see your favorite musicians.

    “Nah, dude, I’ll catch Nirvana next time they come through town.” Facepalm.

    6. Being scared to do things.

    Looking back you’ll think, What was I so afraid of?

    7. Failing to make physical fitness a priority.

    Too many of us spend the physical peak of our lives on the couch. When you hit 40, 50, 60, and beyond, you’ll dream of what you could have done.

    8. Letting yourself be defined by gender roles.

    Few things are as sad as an old person saying, “Well, it just wasn’t done back then.”

    9. Not quitting a terrible job.

    Look, you gotta pay the bills. But if you don’t make a plan to improve your situation, you might wake up one day having spent 40 years in hell.

    10. Not trying harder in school.

    It’s not just that your grades play a role in determining where you end up in life. Eventually you’ll realize how neat it was to get to spend all day learning, and wish you’d paid more attention.

    11. Not realizing how beautiful you were.

    Too many of us spend our youth unhappy with the way we look, but the reality is, that’s when we’re our most beautiful.

    12. Being afraid to say “I love you.”

    When you’re old, you won’t care if your love wasn’t returned — only that you made it known how you felt.

    13. Not listening to your parents’ advice.

    You don’t want to hear it when you’re young, but the infuriating truth is that most of what your parents say about life is true.

    14. Spending your youth self-absorbed.

    You’ll be embarrassed about it, frankly.

    15. Caring too much about what other people think.

    In 20 years you won’t give a darn about any of those people you once worried so much about.

    16. Supporting others’ dreams over your own.

    Supporting others is a beautiful thing, but not when it means you never get to shine.

    17. Not moving on fast enough.

    Old people look back at the long periods spent picking themselves off the ground as nothing but wasted time.

    18. Holding grudges, especially with those you love.

    What’s the point of re-living the anger over and over?

    19. Not standing up for yourself.

    Old people don’t take sh*t from anyone. Neither should you.

    20. Not volunteering enough.

    OK, so you probably won’t regret not volunteering Hunger Games style, but nearing the end of one’s life without having helped to make the world a better place is a great source of sadness for many.

    21. Neglecting your teeth.

    Neglecting your teeth.

    Brush. Floss. Get regular checkups. It will all seem so maddeningly easy when you have dentures.

    22. Missing the chance to ask your grandparents questions before they die.

    Most of us realize too late what an awesome resource grandparents are. They can explain everything you’ll ever wonder about where you came from, but only if you ask them in time.

    23. Working too much.

    No one looks back from their deathbed and wishes they spent more time at the office, but they do wish they spent more time with family, friends, and hobbies.

    24. Not learning how to cook one awesome meal.

    Knowing one drool-worthy meal will make all those dinner parties and celebrations that much more special.

    25. Not stopping enough to appreciate the moment.

    Young people are constantly on the go, but stopping to take it all in now and again is a good thing.

    26. Failing to finish what you start.

    Failing to finish what you start.

    “I had big dreams of becoming a nurse. I even signed up for the classes, but then…”

    27. Never mastering one awesome party trick.

    You will go to hundreds, if not thousands, of parties in your life. Wouldn’t it be cool to be the life of them all?

    28. Letting yourself be defined by cultural expectations.

    Letting yourself be defined by cultural expectations.

    Don’t let them tell you, “We don’t do that.”

    29. Refusing to let friendships run their course.

    People grow apart. Clinging to what was, instead of acknowledging that things have changed, can be a source of ongoing agitation and sadness.

    30. Not playing with your kids enough.

    When you’re old, you’ll realize your kid went from wanting to play with you to wanting you out of their room in the blink of an eye.

    31. Never taking a big risk (especially in love).

    Knowing that you took a leap of faith at least once — even if you fell flat on your face — will be a great comfort when you’re old.

    32. Not taking the time to develop contacts and network.

    Networking may seem like a bunch of crap when you’re young, but later on it becomes clear that it’s how so many jobs are won.

    33. Worrying too much.

    As Tom Petty sang, “Most things I worry about never happen anyway.”

    34. Getting caught up in needless drama.

    Who needs it?

    35. Not spending enough time with loved ones.

    Not spending enough time with loved ones.

    Our time with our loved ones is finite. Make it count.

    36. Never performing in front of others.

    This isn’t a regret for everyone, but many elderly people wish they knew — just once — what it was like to stand in front of a crowd and show off their talents.

    37. Not being grateful sooner.

     

    It can be hard to see in the beginning, but eventually it becomes clear that every moment on this earth — from the mundane to the amazing — is a gift that we’re all so incredibly lucky to share.

  • April 30, 2018
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    “Never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people.”― Barbara Bush

  • April 30, 2018
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    Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are free: love, laughter and good relationships.

  • April 30, 2018
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    I’ve seen better days, but I’ve also seen worse. I don’t have everything I want, but I do have all I need. I woke up with some aches and pains, but I woke up. My life may not be perfect, but I am blessed.

  • April 30, 2018
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    It’s a hard pill to swallow. But the truth is going to heal your heart a lot faster than simply letting it break over and over until you finally face what you knew all along anyway:

    If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you.

    There are a million possible scenarios here. It’s easier when he’s an asshole – selfish, only thinking of himself, using you to make someone else jealous, using you in general, treating you poorly, crushing you thoughtlessly, whatever. But it’s a lot harder when he’s a good guy, and you still have to let him go. When he tells you that you’re an incredible person, but he just doesn’t feel the same way that you do. Or when he really likes you, but doesn’t think you’re the one. Or when he just doesn’t feel as strongly as you do and he wants to be honest. Or when he can’t seem to make up his mind and feels confused, which he doesn’t yet realize just means that he’s afraid of hurting you, that feeling ‘confused’ just a softer way of eventually saying ‘no.’ If he wanted to be with you, he wouldn’t have had to make up his mind in the first place. It would just be an answer that he felt deeply in his gut.

    But regardless, whether he’s a wonderful guy or an asshole or somewhere in between, this is about you, moving on. Because no matter what the situation was, no matter how well he treated you or how much fun you had together or how well you got along, he doesn’t want to be with you. And that’s the truth. And that’s going to be your life raft for the next several weeks or months, no matter how much you don’t want to grab onto it. It is what is going to eventually help you come to peace with the end of your relationship, or the fizzling out of your fling, or the ‘no more talking’ after you guys spent so much time ‘talking.’ It is the truth, and as ugly as it is, it will be the only thing that can help you move on:

    If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you.

    It’s easy to try to soften the blow. He needs time, or he just needs a little space, or he’s just afraid of commitment and I just need to reassure him, or he builds walls and it’s my job to kick through them.

    But think about the way you feel about him. How easy and natural and obvious it feels. How you don’t even need to question whether or not you should be with him, because it just feels right in your veins. How, even if you were scared of committing to someone or getting hurt or opening yourself up, you were still willing to do it, because your heart had already made up your mind. You wanted to be with him, so you were. The decision was simple. It really wasn’t even a decision at all.

    Now can you imagine feeling all those things but choosing not to be with him anyway?

    That’s why your heart is broken. Because he didn’t feel those things. He didn’t feel that same certainty that you did, deep in your bones. And you can’t change that, and you can’t fix yourself, and there’s nothing you did wrong. It’s just the truth. His heart didn’t make the decision for his brain, because his heart is in a different place from yours. And that really, really sucks. And you just have to accept it. And that sucks even more.

    Maybe you’ll get over this in weeks, maybe months. Maybe longer. It will hurt, some days will be horrible and some will be okay. But the smallest of silver linings is this: you can let your heart break once – instead of breaking it a million times by convincing yourself that he’s making a mistake or he probably misses you or you should call him. Love yourself enough to be hard on yourself:

    If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you.

    Written by Kim Quindlen (with permission)

    This article was originally published in thoughtcatalog.com

  • April 29, 2018
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    When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t.

  • April 29, 2018
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    Give people timeGive people space. Don’t beg anyone to stay. Let them roam. What’s meant for you will always be yours.

    – Reyna Biddy.

  • April 29, 2018
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    If you have a special occasion coming up or you simply need to lose weight fast, the Cabbage Soup Diet may be just what you need.

    Ingredients

    ½ head of cabbage, chopped

    1 cup celery, diced

    1 cup white or yellow onion, diced

    1 cup carrots, diced

    1 green bell pepper, diced

    2-3 cloves garlic, minced

    4 cups chicken broth

    14 oz can basil, oregano, garlic diced tomatoes (optional, you can make this soup without tomatoes)

    1 teaspoon oregano

    1 teaspoon basil

    ½ teaspoon red pepper flakes

    few shakes of black pepper

    ½ teaspoon salt (optional)

    Instructions:

    Heat 2 tablespoons of olive oil in a large pot over medium heat.

    Add celery, onions, bell peppers, and carrots.

    Saute until slightly tender.

    Stir in garlic.

    Pour in chicken broth.

    Stir in tomatoes and cabbage.

    Bring to a boil and then reduce heat.

    Cook until cabbage is tender.

    Stir in oregano, basil, red pepper flakes, black pepper and salt (if using)

    Taste broth and adjust seasoning if needed.

     

    If you have a special occasion coming up or you simply need to lose weight fast, the Cabbage Soup Diet may be just what you need.

    Although not suitable for long-term weight loss, the Cabbage Soup Diet is a low-fat, high-fiber diet that will help you get into shape fast before you embark on a more moderate long-term eating plan.

     

    Pros and Cons of the Cabbage Soup Diet

    Pros: You’ll lose weight fast.  Although the diet is only for seven days (and shouldn’t be followed for longer), it provides a great “kick-start” for a more moderate diet.

    Cons: Some people find the soup bland. Others report feeling light-headed, weak, and have suffered from decreased concentration (although I hear that many people think the diet is worth the effort anyway, since they lose so much weight!).

    What the Cabbage Soup Diet is NOT

    The Cabbage Soup Diet is sometimes referred to as the “Mayo Clinic Diet,” the “Sacred Heart Hospital Diet,” and by many other names. Interestingly, this diet is not affiliated with either the Mayo Clinic or the Sacred Heart Hospital system.

     

     

    Six Keys to Success

    1. Follow the diet to the letter!
    2. Drink at least 4 glasses of water per day (or more!).
    3. Remember – it is only seven days long!
    4. Complement the diet with a quality daily multi-vitamin.
    5. Print information from this site and refer to it daily (especially the 7 Day Plan!).
    6. Eat plenty of soup – the more you eat, the more you should lose! Do not try to starve yourself or you’ll probably cheat (this is what we don’t want).
  • April 29, 2018
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    You will never look back on life and think, “I’ve spent too much time with my kids.”

  • April 29, 2018
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    A few bad chapters doesn’t mean your story is over.

  • April 29, 2018
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    Be good to people. You will be remembered more for your kindness than any level of success you could possibly attain.

  • April 28, 2018
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    “Most people need love and acceptance a lot more than they need advice.” ― Bob Goff

  • April 28, 2018
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    I’m at a point in my life where I just want my family happy, my faith strong, my health good, my mind right, my dollars tight, and no unnecessary drama.

  • April 28, 2018
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    I believe in the ocean curing all bad moodsI believe in the waves wiping away worries. I believe in seashells bringing good luck. I believe in toes in the sand grounding my soul.

  • April 28, 2018
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    Stay low key not everyone needs to know everything about you.

  • April 28, 2018
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    The best place in the world is in the arms of someone who will not only hold you at your best but will pick you up and hug you tight at your weakest moment.

  • April 28, 2018
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    When you choose the behavior, you choose the consequences.―Dr. Phil

  • April 27, 2018
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    Be with someone who makes you a priority, not an option.

  • April 27, 2018
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    This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

  • April 27, 2018
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    Remember to take care of yourself. Sometimes you get so busy taking care of others that you forget that you are important too.

  • April 27, 2018
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    I notice everything. I mean everything. I notice when the way someone talks to me starts changing. I notice the little things that people do, and the little things they used to do. I notice every single little detail. I just don’t say anything.

  • April 27, 2018
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    “If you can’t do anything about it then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things you can’t change.”
    — Tony Gaskins

  • April 27, 2018
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    If my absence doesn’t affect your life then my presence has no meaning in it.

  • April 26, 2018
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    If you have to hurt other people in order to feel powerful, you are an extremely weak individual. – Bobby Mattingly.

  • April 26, 2018
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    I have reached a point in my life where I feel it is no longer necessary to try to impress anyone. If they like me the way I am good, and if not it’s their loss.

  • April 26, 2018
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    Sometimes it feels so good to just sit by yourself, relax and not talk to anyone.
    ~Kristen Butler

  • April 26, 2018
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    Nobody’s perfectWe make mistakesWe say wrong things. We do wrong things. We fall. We get up. We learn. We grow. We move on. We live!

  • April 26, 2018
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    I’m a very strong believer that whoever is meant to be in your life will always gravitate back towards you, regardless how far they wander.

  • April 26, 2018
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    Relationships last not because they were destined to lastRelationships lastlong because two people made a choice to keep it, fight for it and work for it.

  • April 25, 2018
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    If you hesitate between me and another person, don’t choose me.

  • April 25, 2018
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    Death Changes Everything. Time Changes Nothing. I still miss the sound of your voice, the wisdom in your advice, the stories of your life and just being in your presence. So no, time changes nothing. I still miss you just as much today as I did the day you died. I just miss you.

  • April 25, 2018
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    Nobody is perfect, and nobody deserves to be perfect. Nobody has it easy, everybody has issues. You never know what people are going through. So pause before you start judging, criticizing, or mocking others. Everybody is fighting their own unique war.

  • April 25, 2018
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    Staying positive doesn’t mean you have to be happy all the time. It means that even on hard days you know that there are better ones coming.

  • April 25, 2018
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    A mistake which makes you humble is much better than an achievement that makes you arrogant.

  • April 25, 2018
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    Sometimes in life we just need someone who will be there for us. Someone who will listen. Someone who will understand.

  • April 24, 2018
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    “I love you” means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. “I love you” means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me. ~ Jonathan Safran Foer

  • April 24, 2018
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    Your circle should want to see you win. Your circle should clap loudly when you have good news.
    If not, get a new circle. — Wesley Snipes,

  • April 24, 2018
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    Don’t let anyone bring you down so low as to hate them. Release them from the hold they have on you and continue on with peace in your heart. Life is short and is not worth wasting your time trying to figure people out or prove anything to them. The only person you have to prove anything to is yourself. Strive to be the best person you can possibly be, be strong, and walk away. Holding on to bitterness and anger will only hinder your happiness. Your life is much too precious to spend another minute worrying about someone that doesn’t bring you happiness. Say goodbye and wish them well. After all, they’ve made you a stronger person. They’ll see the light someday. ~Ladybug

  • April 24, 2018
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    I have learned to be grateful even when I feel sad, to think positively when I’m surrounded by negativity, to hold fast to faith even when I feel hopeless, to accept love even when I feel unlovable; because despite all the noise in my head that tell me my life is over, the sun shows up every morning and shines, reminding me that I can surely do the same. ~Margaret. M. Painter

     

  • April 24, 2018
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    I’ve learned from life that sometimes, the darkest times can bring us to the brightest places. That our most painful struggles can grant us the most necessary growth; and that the most heartbreaking losses of friendship and love can make room for the most wonderful people. I’ve learned that what seems like a curse at the moment can actually be a blessing, and that what seems like the end of the road is actually just the discovery that we are meant to travel down a different path. I’ve learned that no matter how difficult things seem, there is always hope. And I’ve learned that no matter how powerless we feel or how horrible things seem, we can’t give up. We have to keep going. Even when it’s scary, even when all of our strength seems gone, we have to keep picking ourselves back up and moving forward, because whatever we’re battling in the moment, it will pass, and we will make it through. We’ve made it this far. We can make it through whatever comes next.
    ~Daniell Keopke

     

  • April 24, 2018
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    When two souls fall in love, there is nothing else but the yearning to be close to the other. The presence is felt through a held hand, a voice heard and the sight of a smile. Even through a simple touch. Souls do not have calendars or clocks, nor do they understand the notion of time or distance. They only know it feels right to be with one another. This is the reason why you miss someone so much when they are not around. Your soul feels their absence— it doesn’t realize the separation is temporary.
    ~ Lang Lea

  • April 23, 2018
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    I just want an honest relationship. No lies. No mind games. No cheating.

  • April 23, 2018
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    Sometimes the best thing you can do is keep your mouth shut and your eyes open. The truth always comes out in the end.

  • April 23, 2018
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    When my friend’s mother died he found himself desperately needing to have photos to remember his mum by. But it dawned on him for the first time that, despite loving his mum dearly, he’d never once taken a photo of her.

    Hoping that other people had taken photos of his mum, my friend combed through his mum’s possessions and his own childhood memorabilia looking for them.

    He eventually managed to unearth one. Just one. That was it. One photo in total.

    And it wasn’t recent. It was a yellowed photo of him as a toddler dressed in overalls trying to scramble off his mother’s knee.

    I have heard more times than I can recall my mother friends lament how few photos are taken of them with their children.

    One friend recently said that if she died tomorrow her young kids would have no evidence to show that she was in their lives. Another friend told me that her husband spends barely any time with their kids and she has done little else for close to a decade. But judging by the collection of photos on her computer you would assume the opposite.

    Her phone and hard drive provide a mini documentary of him and the kids celebrating life stages, such as birthdays and first days at school, to spontaneous and mundane events like reading stories, playing in the park, or even sitting on the couch watching TV.

    I also have very few photos of my mother from my younger years. To be fair, this was partly because of my mother’s reluctance to have her photo taken – a heartbreaking combination of her believing she was both not attractive enough and not important enough to appear in photos. Growing up, my mum was the most constant thing in my life and it saddens me that there is very little record of that.

    Given the number of selfies mothers take with their kids, we can only assume that many women do want to document their lives with their children. We don’t want to be invisible in our family histories and, since nobody else seems willing to take the photos, we have to do it ourselves.

    But when mothers do take selfies with their kids they’re inevitably inviting comment from the usual Moral Panic Merchants, tut-tutting about the rise of narcissism and “Why can’t women just be IN THE MOMENT and enjoy their kids?”

    It’s not that mothers are hardwired to take photos in a way that fathers are not. The reason there are so many pictures of dads with their kids is that we think that documenting the lives of kids with their father is important. Well here’s the thing, documenting the lives of mothers with their kids is important too.

    Earlier this year, writer Sophia Cachia’s appeal to dads to take more photos of mums resonated with mothers to such an extent it went viral.

    “We spend days capturing beautiful moments of you [dad] and the kids. So whenever you see one of us with our babies, a beautiful candid moment, take the bloody goddamn photo. Cheers, Mums,”

    It’s not as if taking photos of the mother of their children is a particularly difficult task for dads. Back when we were kids far fewer photos were taken. Unless you owned a Polaroid, photography was a multi-step process involving film, processing, and physical photo albums.

    Digital technology has removed such barriers to capturing precious moments of mothers’ lives. Even the dumbest smartphone has a good camera, lowering the bar to a two-second process of taking the phone out of your pocket, pointing and shooting. The only barrier now is people thinking that taking photos of mothers is not worth doing – until it’s too late.

    Dads should take more photos of mums because their kids are going to want them in the future. As my friend who lost his mother has found out the hard way, photos of mothers are vitally important snapshots of time that cannot be recreated.

    But another reason for dads to take more photos of mums is that every time they do it they tell the mother of their children that she is important. In a culture like ours, dominated by the image, photography is a way to demonstrate that women and women’s lives are worth documenting just as much as men’s.

    By excluding women from this culture, we give the impression that dad is the important one and mum is barely worth noticing. Without even realising it, kids will internalise the belief that dad’s interaction with them is so important it needs to be immortalised, whereas mum, well, when is dinner ready and where are my clean socks?

    Written by Kasey Edwards

    This article first appeared on “Daily Life”  https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/a-plea-for-fathers-to-take-more-photos-of-the-mother-of-their-children-20170413-gvkkov.html

    You can visit Kasey at her website (www.kaseyedwards.com) or at her Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/KaseyEd

  • April 23, 2018
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    If you want to know where your heart is, look where your mind goes when it wanders.

  • April 23, 2018
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    A mistake that keeps being repeated is not a mistake, it’s a choice.

  • April 23, 2018
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    Someday someone will love every inch of you – the fading sunset behind your eyes, the moonlight that dances through your hair, the sadness nestled in the creases of your palms. They are going to kiss all the parts you have kept hidden away and tell you how beautiful it all is. Someday someone is going to say, ‘I love all of you, not just the parts that make sense, not just the parts you have shown me. I love the parts of you that I don’t yet understand, the parts that weigh on your shoulders, the parts I only notice when I steal glances at you in silence.’ You will need to believe them, to believe that fairytales were not written for princesses in glass slippers, that they were written for women who have collected all the pieces of a broken heart and can’t stand to put it together again. But most of all, you will need to believe that they were written for you.Someday someone will come to you with a happily ever after promise and slide it over your finger. Someday you’ll realize you are not the lucky one, you are the deserving one. Someday you are going to take someone’s breath away.
    Someday you will realize just how stunning you really are, and you will fall to you knees. Just like you’ve made me, so many times before.
    -Tyler Kent White

  • April 22, 2018
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    13
    WHEN I CHOSE TO LET YOU GO.

    When I chose to let you go, there was no great moment of triumph.
    There wasn’t an earth-shattering epiphany that changed my life, where music played and the universe conspired to bring everything together for good.

    There was no conflict, no turmoil and no struggle. No internal argument. No weighing of pros and cons. No decision to be analyzed to death—even by me, who cannot make a decision without weeks of obsessive thought over every possible outcome.

    There were only two words, when I chose to let you go:

    No more.

    No more will I measure my worth against your opinion. No more will I be pressed into the shapes you carved for me. No more will I tell my heart to quiet down, ashamed of its clatter. No more will there be blood on my feet from the eggshells I walked on as I tried not to give cause for your disapproval.

    No more will I anguish over the ways you misunderstood me. No more will I fight to justify the intention of my heart. No more will I beg for you to see me, the real me—to know me, to love me.

    No more will I live my life for you.

    When I chose to let you go, there was no holy encounter. The stars did not collapse from the sky and cascade into the oceans. There was no ferocious wind that rattled the walls or blazing fire that consumed all within its destructive path.

    There was only quiet resolution, the silent death of leaves that drift to the ground as frost begins to waste them away.
    And there I found myself, in the barren ground where you once stood; I came to understand there must be winter.

    Winter in all its loss, its grief, its letting go.
    There must be a time for old things to die, that new things may be born.

    When I chose to let you go, it was for me.

    I learned to love myself even when you made me feel I deserved no love. To honor my own needs, my own heart and my own potential. To walk my own path, not yours. To not be pulled back into your confines while my spirit yearned to be free.

    When I chose to let you go, I made coffee, ate toast, and folded clothes. I went to yoga and collected my mail and paid my bills. There was nothing out of place on the outside of my ordinary life—no visible change, nothing new or different.

    There was only surrender.

    One moment.

    One breath.

    I chose to let you go.

    And in doing so, I chose me.

    By Kathy Parker
    (with permission)

    Please check out Kathy’s blog at : https://kathyparker.com.au/

  • April 22, 2018
    0
    11

    I’ve fallen, cried, been angry and afraid. But even when I was hurting, I always found a way to keep going.

  • April 22, 2018
    4
    3

    The Last Time

    From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,
    you will never be the same.
    You might long for the person you were before,
    When you had freedom and time,
    And nothing in particular to worry about.
    You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,
    And days will run into days that are exactly the same,
    Full of feeding and burping,
    Whining and fighting,
    Naps, or lack of naps. It might seem like a never-ending cycle.
    But don’t forget…
    There is a last time for everything.
    There will come a time when you will feed your baby
    for the very last time.
    They will fall asleep on you after a long day
    And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.
    One day you will carry them on your hip,
    then set them down,
    And never pick them up that way again.
    You will scrub their hair in the bath one night
    And from that day on they will want to bathe alone.
    They will hold your hand to cross the road,
    Then never reach for it again.
    They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,
    And it will be the last night you ever wake for this.
    One afternoon you will sing ‘the wheels on the bus’
    and do all the actions,
    Then you’ll never sing that song again.
    They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,
    the next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.
    You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your
    last dirty face.
    They will one day run to you with arms raised,
    for the very last time.
    The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time
    until there are no more times, and even then,
    it will take you a while to realize.
    So while you are living in these times,
    remember there are only so many of them and
    when they are gone,
    you will yearn for just one more day of them
    For one last time.
    ~~Author unknown~~
  • April 22, 2018
    0
    16

    My greatest treasure is my family. We may not be perfect but I love them with all my heart.

  • April 22, 2018
    0
    6

    The beautiful thing about life is that you can always change, grow and get better. You aren’t defined by your past. You aren’t your mistakes.

  • April 22, 2018
    2
    23

    Loyaly is hard to find. Trust is easy to lose. Actions speak louder than words. Look out for the people who look out for you LOYALTY is everything.

  • April 21, 2018
    2
    65

    Breakups hurtbut losing someone who doesn’t respect and appreciate you is actually a gain, not a loss.

  • April 21, 2018
    2
    22

    An apology means nothing if they don’t stop doing what they are apologizing for. Believe actions, not words. ~Mandy Hale.

  • April 21, 2018
    1
    23

    The older I get, the more I realize the value of privacy, cultivating your circle, and only letting certain people in. You can be open, honest, and real while still understanding not everyone deserves a seat at the table of your life.

  • April 21, 2018
    1
    36

    Until you can handle what I have delt with, don’t judge me. There’s a reason I do the things I do, there’s a reason I am who I am.

    ~Unknown

  • April 21, 2018
    3
    27

    Always remember , someone’s effort is a reflection of their interest in you.

  • April 21, 2018
    0
    9

    You know you are an adult when you get excited to just go home.

  • April 20, 2018
    9
    3
    THE UNRAVELLED HEART by Kathy Parker

     

    And sometimes it is so hard to care for others when you can barely care for yourself. When you are tired in a way sleep will never ease. When the night goes too long and the morning comes too soon and you wonder where you will draw the strength to get through another day when there is nothing left in your drought-stricken bones.

    You dress, make coffee, force a smile and hope nobody studies your eyes close enough to see the 4am loneliness that still lingers like tendrils of ivy that have crept in and wrapped themselves around your soul; relentless, incessant, determined.

    You wear brave so well that nobody sees beyond the surface of your survival to the battle beneath. The way every day is another day on the front line, no matter how exhausted and torn apart you already are. Nobody sees the fresh blood drawn from old wounds or the anguish in your muscles that remain on guard or how much it takes for you to get back up when your knees bleed from the crawl.

    You do the best you can but it never feels enough. Every night inadequacy whispers its shame against your ear and soon your heart beats in time with its words.

    Failure. Disappointment. Hopeless. Weak. Useless. Incapable.

    All you ever wanted was to do better – to be better – than what was shown to you. But you feel as though you fall so short. That you let down those who need you. That you aren’t enough and never will be.

    You’re so damn hard on yourself. As if it isn’t enough just to have survived this far. As if it isn’t enough to have found a way to stitch your broken pieces together when there was such little of yourself left. Instead, you’re so ashamed of not being straight lines and seamless joins and all you see are the jagged scars drawn across your body and your fingers trace over them like braille and to you they spell defeat.

    Darling, let me tattoo truth inside your wrists so when you’ve forgotten who you are you need only look down.

    Undefeated. Worthy. Resilient. Strong. Courageous. Determined. Perfect. Enough.

    And if the light grows weak and the words fade before your eyes I will say them out loud and the letters will fall from my mouth and form a bridge that will lead you back to yourself once more.

    You are so much more than you see.

    Your weakness intertwines with courage, your fear entangles bravery and your vulnerability is laced with strength. There is so much fortitude in the way you give all you have, even when you have nothing to give.

    I know, today, you don’t believe me. I know today you are tired eyes and tear-stained pillows and battle scars etched upon your face. But all I ask is you look away from what you have come to believe about yourself and instead, look at me. Search my eyes for your reflection and in them you will see the truth.


    That the way survival looks on you, my love, is nothing short of breathtaking.

    The Unravelled Heart, a profoundly true reflection on trauma, abuse, love, loss and healing. Ranked #15 on Amazon’s bestseller list for poetry by women, available here: http://amzn.to/2BIvFhp

    Kathy Parker is a writer, poet, survivor and warrior; a lover of beautiful words and wide open spaces.  She is a survivor of abuse, sufferer of Complex-PTSD. Her greatest desire is to see all women empowered with the truth of their glorious worth.

    She is a contributor for The Mighty, Thought Catalog, Truth Code, Lessons Learned In Life and The Minds Journal and also has writing published at Huffington Post Australia and Elephant Journal.

    Her debut collection of poetry and prose, The Unravelled Heart, a profoundly true reflection on trauma, abuse, love, loss and healing, now available worldwide on Amazon http://amzn.to/2BIvFhp

    You can also find Kathy at FacebookTwitter and Instagram

  • April 20, 2018
    1
    3

    When your mother says she’s fat. 

     

    Dear Mum,

    I was seven when I discovered that you were fat, ugly and horrible. Up until that point I had believed that you were beautiful – in every sense of the word. I remember flicking through old photo albums and staring at pictures of you standing on the deck of a boat. Your white strapless bathing suit looked so glamorous, just like a movie star. Whenever I had the chance I’d pull out that wondrous white bathing suit hidden in your bottom drawer and imagine a time when I’d be big enough to wear it; when I’d be like you.

    But all of that changed when, one night, we were dressed up for a party and you said to me, ‘‘Look at you, so thin, beautiful and lovely. And look at me, fat, ugly and horrible.’’
    At first I didn’t understand what you meant.

    ‘‘You’re not fat,’’ I said earnestly and innocently, and you replied, ‘‘Yes I am, darling. I’ve always been fat; even as a child.’’

    In the days that followed I had some painful revelations that have shaped my whole life. I learned that:
    1. You must be fat because mothers don’t lie.
    2. Fat is ugly and horrible.
    3. When I grow up I’ll look like you and therefore I will be fat, ugly and horrible too.

    Years later, I looked back on this conversation and the hundreds that followed and cursed you for feeling so unattractive, insecure and unworthy. Because, as my first and most influential role model, you taught me to believe the same thing about myself.

    With every grimace at your reflection in the mirror, every new wonder diet that was going to change your life, and every guilty spoon of ‘‘Oh-I-really-shouldn’t’’, I learned that women must be thin to be valid and worthy. Girls must go without because their greatest contribution to the world is their physical beauty.
    Just like you, I have spent my whole life feeling fat. When did fat become a feeling anyway? And because I believed I was fat, I knew I was no good.

    But now that I am older, and a mother myself, I know that blaming you for my body hatred is unhelpful and unfair. I now understand that you too are a product of a long and rich lineage of women who were taught to loathe themselves.

    Look at the example Nanna set for you. Despite being what could only be described as famine-victim chic, she dieted every day of her life until the day she died at 79 years of age. She used to put on make-up to walk to the letterbox for fear that somebody might see her unpainted face.

    I remember her ‘‘compassionate’’ response when you announced that Dad had left you for another woman. Her first comment was, ‘‘I don’t understand why he’d leave you. You look after yourself, you wear lipstick. You’re overweight – but not that much.’’

    Before Dad left, he provided no balm for your body-image torment either.

    ‘‘Jesus, Jan,’’ I overheard him say to you. ‘‘It’s not that hard. Energy in versus energy out. If you want to lose weight you just have to eat less.’’

    That night at dinner I watched you implement Dad’s ‘‘Energy In, Energy Out: Jesus, Jan, Just Eat Less’’ weight-loss cure. You served up chow mein for dinner. (Remember how in 1980s Australian suburbia, a combination of mince, cabbage, and soy sauce was considered the height of exotic gourmet?) Everyone else’s food was on a dinner plate except yours. You served your chow mein on a tiny bread-and-butter plate.

    As you sat in front of that pathetic scoop of mince, silent tears streamed down your face. I said nothing. Not even when your shoulders started heaving from your distress. We all ate our dinner in silence. Nobody comforted you. Nobody told you to stop being ridiculous and get a proper plate. Nobody told you that you were already loved and already good enough. Your achievements and your worth – as a teacher of children with special needs and a devoted mother of three of your own – paled into insignificance when compared with the centimetres you couldn’t lose from your waist.

    It broke my heart to witness your despair and I’m sorry that I didn’t rush to your defence. I’d already learned that it was your fault that you were fat. I’d even heard Dad describe losing weight as a ‘‘simple’’ process – yet one that you still couldn’t come to grips with. The lesson: you didn’t deserve any food and you certainly didn’t deserve any sympathy.

    But I was wrong, Mum. Now I understand what it’s like to grow up in a society that tells women that their beauty matters most, and at the same time defines a standard of beauty that is perpetually out of our reach. I also know the pain of internalising these messages. We have become our own jailors and we inflict our own punishments for failing to measure up. No one is crueller to us than we are to ourselves.

    But this madness has to stop, Mum. It stops with you, it stops with me and it stops now. We deserve better – better than to have our days brought to ruin by bad body thoughts, wishing we were otherwise.
    And it’s not just about you and me any more. It’s also about Violet. Your granddaughter is only 3 and I do not want body hatred to take root inside her and strangle her happiness, her confidence and her potential. I don’t want Violet to believe that her beauty is her most important asset; that it will define her worth in the world. When Violet looks to us to learn how to be a woman, we need to be the best role models we can. We need to show her with our words and our actions that women are good enough just the way they are. And for her to believe us, we need to believe it ourselves.

    The older we get, the more loved ones we lose to accidents and illness. Their passing is always tragic and far too soon. I sometimes think about what these friends – and the people who love them – wouldn’t give for more time in a body that was healthy. A body that would allow them to live just a little longer. The size of that body’s thighs or the lines on its face wouldn’t matter. It would be alive and therefore it would be perfect.

    Your body is perfect too. It allows you to disarm a room with your smile and infect everyone with your laugh. It gives you arms to wrap around Violet and squeeze her until she giggles. Every moment we spend worrying about our physical ‘‘flaws’’ is a moment wasted, a precious slice of life that we will never get back.
    Let us honour and respect our bodies for what they do instead of despising them for how they appear. Focus on living healthy and active lives, let our weight fall where it may, and consign our body hatred in the past where it belongs. When I looked at that photo of you in the white bathing suit all those years ago, my innocent young eyes saw the truth. I saw unconditional love, beauty and wisdom. I saw my Mum.

    Love, Kasey xx

    Written by Kasey Edwards,

    You can visit Kasey at her website  (www.kaseyedwards.com)  or at her Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/KaseyEd)

  • April 20, 2018
    1
    9

    The only things you can take with you when you leave this world are the things you’ve packed inside your heart. -Susan Gale

  • April 20, 2018
    7
    11

    Never underestimate the power of good morning texts, apologies, and random compliments.

  • April 20, 2018
    5
    6

    “Hate, it has caused a lot of problems in the world, but has not solved one yet.”― Maya Angelou

  • April 20, 2018
    0
    7

    Being “raised right” doesn’t mean you don’t drink, party, and smoke. Being raised right is how you treat people, your manners & respect.

  • April 19, 2018
    3
    16

    She will remember the moments you made her feel loved more than the times you said, “I love you.” -Pierre Alex Jeanty

  • April 19, 2018
    2
    7

    You are responsible for your own happiness. If you expect others to make you happy, you will always be disappointed.

  • April 19, 2018
    0
    10

    Happiness begins with you. Not with your relationship, your friends, or your job. but with you.”

    ―Mandy Hale

  • April 19, 2018
    2
    10

    You will never be good enough for everybody, but you will always be the best for someone who really appreciates you.

  • April 19, 2018
    0
    2

    Don’t hurt anyoneIt only takes few seconds to hurt people you love, and it can take years to heal.

  • April 19, 2018
    0
    10

    I’m a strong person, but every once in a while, I would like someone to take my hand and tell me that “Everything’s going to be alright.”

  • April 18, 2018
    0
    15

    If you focus on the hurt, you will continue to suffer. If you focus on the lesson, you will continue to grow.

  • April 18, 2018
    0
    5

    Tell a lie once and all your truths become questionable.

  • April 18, 2018
    0
    26

    You gotta train your mind to be stronger than your emotions or else you’ll lose yourself everytime.

  • April 18, 2018
    2
    18

    Dear God, from the bottom of my heart, I want to thank You for loving me, forgiving me, healing me and never leaving me. Amen.

  • April 18, 2018
    1
    7

    “You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.”― Bob Marley

  • April 18, 2018
    2
    10

    The worst person to be around is the one who complains about everything and appreciates nothing.

  • April 17, 2018
    0
    9

    My point is, when you love someone, when you care for someone, you have to do it through the good and the bad. Not just when you’re happy and it’s easy.

  • April 17, 2018
    0
    2

    For what it’s worth: It’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. And if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.― F. Scott Fitzgerald

  • April 17, 2018
    2
    10

    “Anger is sign that something needs to change.”
    — Mark Epstein

  • April 17, 2018
    0
    10

    Choose a partner who is good for you. Not good for your parents. Not good for your image. Not good for your bank account. Chose someone who’s going to make your life emotionally fulfilling.

  • April 17, 2018
    0
    11

    You can’t change someone who doesn’t see an issue in their actions.

  • April 17, 2018
    3
    11

    Some days I wish I could go back in life, not to change things, just to feel a few things twice.

  • April 16, 2018
    1
    24

    TIP OF THE DAY; If they want to leave, let them. If they push you away, go. You weren’t put on this earth to convince anyone of your worth. You’re here to learn, create, flourish, live, spread love and nourish. The ones deserving of you will always make you feel appreciated

  • April 16, 2018
    1
    1

    “Refuse to inherit dysfunction. Learn new ways of living instead of repeating what you’ve lived through.” – Thema Davis

  • April 16, 2018
    2
    10

    When you fully trust someone without any doubt, you finally get one of two results: A person for life or A lesson for life

  • April 16, 2018
    5
    8

    I was born with a soul that is way too sensitive for this cold and ugly world, I have always felt things deeply and differently than most people. That has always been my blessing and my curse. – Reggie Nulan

  • April 16, 2018
    0
    6

    To be honestmy goal is really to just leave a positive impact on everyone I meet. Whether it be a smile, a laugh or a changed heart.

  • April 16, 2018
    0
    6

    If you want to know what it’s like to survive hell and still come out shining brighter than the sun, just look into the eyes of a woman who has survived intense damage and refused to allow it to destroy her softness. ~ Nikita Gill

  • April 16, 2018
    0
    4

    If you made a promise, keep it. If you have love, cherish it. If someone confided in you, respect it. If you did wrong, apologize for it. If you want trust, earn it. ~Brigitte Nicole

  • April 15, 2018
    2
    2

    Sometimes the people who act the happiest are the ones who are going through the most.

  • April 15, 2018
    0
    5

    Falling in love and staying in love – they’re both incredible, joyful, and thrilling parts of your life. But the problem comes when you think of them as one and the same. When you expect the infatuating, addictive, high-inducing rush of excitement that occurs during the ‘falling’ stage to last permanently. Or when you assume that the contented, peaceful, wholeheartedly trusting stage that occurs in long-lasting relationships will happen the minute you fall for someone. They’re both wonderful, beautiful experiences, but it is not until you understand how and why they are different that you can truly appreciate what you have in front of you and how you can make it last.

    Falling in love means thinking every damn thing they do is adorable, even if it’s as random as the way they sneeze or the way they hold a book. Staying in love means learning how to get over all of the little things they do that absolutely drive you nuts, and loving them anyways.

    Falling in love means treasuring every exciting new adventure you share together. Staying in love means treasuring even the littlest of moments – being thankful that they are sleeping safely beside you, closing your eyes as you appreciate the sound of their happy laughter in the other room, smiling at the ‘cheer up’ text they send you during a stressful day at work.

    Written by Kim Quindlen

    This article was originally published in thoughtcatalog.com

  • April 15, 2018
    3
    5

    If you’re struggling and your people are just sitting there watching you struggle, they’re not your people.

  • April 15, 2018
    2
    6

    Call me crazy but I love to see people happy and succeeding. Life is a journey, not a competition.

  • April 14, 2018
    0
    2

    In lifewe never lose friends, we only learn who the true ones are.

  • April 14, 2018
    0
    7

    A beautiful face will age and a perfect body will change, but a beautiful soul will always be a beautiful soul.

  • April 14, 2018
    3
    6

    I pray that whoever reads this, God heals whatever is hurting you right now.

  • April 14, 2018
    0
    3

    You may see me strugglebut you’ll never see me quit.

  • April 14, 2018
    1
    9

    Forgive people in your lifeeven those who are not sorry for their actions. Holding on to anger only hurts you, not them.

  • April 14, 2018
    0
    5

    Sometimes it takes looking back, for you to realize that leaving someone and the pain they were causing you, was the best decision you ever made.

  • April 13, 2018
    0
    9

    You can tell a lot about a person by the way they hug you. If they really care, you’ll feel their hug.
    ~Kristen Butler

  • April 13, 2018
    2
    6

    Look out for the people who look out for you. Loyalty is everything.

  • April 13, 2018
    0
    10

    You deserve happiness. You deserve peace. You deserve laughter. You deserve to love and be loved. You deserve life. Don’t ever forget this.

  • April 13, 2018
    0
    5

    No matter how hard you try, you can never please everyone. Follow your heart, make the most of every day, and be proud of who you are. – John Cena

  • April 13, 2018
    0
    2

    When you start looking at people’s heart instead of their face, life becomes clear.

  • April 13, 2018
    1
    4

    Karma “Think good thoughts, say nice things, do good for others. Everything comes back.”

  • April 12, 2018
    1
    10

    Don’t lose your dignity and self-respect trying to make people accept, love and appreciate you, when they just aren’t capable.

  • April 12, 2018
    0
    4

    Happiness is when you realize that your children have turned out to be good people.

  • April 12, 2018
    0
    4

    Time is like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of your life.

  • April 12, 2018
    1
    7

    Be careful who you open up to. Only a few people actually care, the rest just want to have something to gossip about.

  • April 12, 2018
    0
    6

    Don’t be someones down-time, spare-time, part-time or sometime. If they cant be there for you when you need them, then they’re not even worth your time.

  • April 12, 2018
    1
    8

    Forgiving Someone is easybut being able to trust them again is a totally different story.

  • April 11, 2018
    0
    8

    Before you start to judge me, step into my shoes and walk the life I’m living and if you get as far as I am, just maybe you will see how strong I really am.

  • April 11, 2018
    2
    9

    Never respond to rudeness. When people are rude to you, they reveal who they are, not who you are. Don’t take it personally. Be silent.

  • April 11, 2018
    0
    7

    Mirror, mirror on the wall, I’ll always get up after I fall. Whether I run, walk, or have to crawl, I’ll set my goals and achieve them all. ― Chris Butler

  • April 11, 2018
    1
    10

    Don’t take people for granted. No matter how much they love you, people get tired eventually. We are all given chances, but you never know when the last chance may be.

  • April 11, 2018
    2
    8

    I don’t know how people can fake whole relationships. I can’t even fake a hello to someone I dislike.

  • April 11, 2018
    0
    12

    You don’t have to have sex to be a cheater. Once you start hiding text messages, lying about where you’re going and who you’re with, you’re already on your way.

  • April 10, 2018
    2
    1

    HOW OUR HEARTS ARE CHANGED BY BETRAYAL

     

    You haven’t always been this way.

    You haven’t always been a body lined with thorns, a heart wrapped in razor wire; hard lines and jaded eyes.

    Distant, aloof, guarded.

    There was a time you were shades of pastel; when your heart knew love, and trust rested freely upon your fingertips.

    There was a time your days were painted with innocence. Where eager eyes gazed at the world with hope and wonder, your heart still shiny and new.

    But all of this changed the moment you were betrayed by someone you loved. Someone you trusted. Someone who should have protected you. Someone who hurt you instead. Someone who allowed you to be hurt by others.

    There is little else that shatters a heart as much as the pain of betrayal. It tears you open, rips your heart out of your chest. You don’t want to put it back, you want to leave it on the floor to bleed until there is nothing left, until the blood runs dry and you no longer have to feel a damn thing anymore. But you can’t. You have to go on. So you pick your heart off the floor and place it back inside your hollow chest.

    Except, the heart that you put back is never the same heart. It is wounded, war-torn. It no longer seeks love, but only to protect itself from the pain of ever being betrayed again.

    A heart that is betrayed is changed forever.

    No longer will it trust anyone again, but greets every person with reservation and fear; wary of a world that has proven to only take advantage for its own benefit. It remains hyper-vigilant in its desperate need to prove itself right; forever searching for the cracks inside another person that prove they too are unworthy of trust. It needs to know its enemy. It needs to remain one step in front at all times. Kindness is met with suspicion, for your heart has learned nothing comes without a cost – there are always strings, always an agenda. Your heart rejects kindness, remains cynical of it, refuses to accept it. It would rather suffer on its own than accept kindness that allows it to become vulnerable to another.

    Your heart no longer knows how to trust itself either, and it makes vows to stay hard, to stay tough. Never will I want again. Never will I need again. Never will I trust again. Never will I love again. These vows are the cornerstones of the fortress it builds around itself, the strongholds that keep the walls in place. It gives up hope of ever being protected and instead learns to protect itself. It becomes a slave to its independence, its autonomy. Here, in its fortress, it is safe. Here, behind its walls, it can remain distant, removed.

    Here, your heart can trust itself not to feel. 

    For betrayal has taught your heart how dangerous it is to feel. To want, to need. To desire love, relationship, connection. No, your heart must deaden itself to its desires. It must wake each morning with one goal of attack – to kill your hungry soul. To destroy your desires before they destroy you. Your heart cannot afford to want, it is too dangerous, too much of a risk that will lead to being hurt again. This is how your heart stays safe – it refuses to be tempted by love ever again.

    Except, your heart was created for relationship. Your heart was created for intimacy. But intimacy is the enemy, the biggest threat. Intimacy requires your heart to be vulnerable, to let someone close. To betray its own desires in the hope it will not be betrayed because of them. Intimacy is the most dangerous of all, and your heart turns itself away and chooses to live without hope of relationship, of closeness, of oneness with another.

    Betrayal has changed your heart.

    It has damaged your heart.

    It has left it powerless, helpless, vulnerable, wounded, damaged, guarded, broken. Your heart can no longer trust, does not trust. It no longer believes in the goodness of anyone else’s heart. It no longer believes it is worthy of being loved, of being protected. It is tired from living in a constant state of anticipation and expectation that it will be hurt and betrayed once more. It no longer wants to love, no longer knows how to love. It has become numb, deadened to its desires, and you tell yourself you are content with this.

    That here, you are safe. You are in control. You are untouchable.

    Except, you are lonely. So goddamn lonely.

    And this is the paradox of betrayal.

    You are scared of relationship, yet relationship is the very thing that will heal your heart.

    Dear heart, there is a need for you to be safe.

    But there is a greater need for you to be loved.

    The only way to heal is through love. You must find the courage to pull down your fortress. It has kept you safe. But you have dwelled long enough in your solitude. In your loneliness. It is time to lay down your weapons. Surrender is not defeat, but the end of the fight.

    To love is to risk hurt. To trust is to risk betrayal. But you must risk so that you may heal.

    Your heart has learned how to stay safe, how to survive.

    Now, it must learn how to once again love.

    Written by Kathy Parker

    ( with permission)

    Find out more about Kathy at her blog: https://kathyparker.com.au/

  • April 10, 2018
    0
    3

     My brother may not always be at my side, but he is always in my heart.

  • April 10, 2018
    1
    11

    I’m not anti-social. I’m selectively social. There’s a difference.

  • April 10, 2018
    1
    10

    Better days are comingYou have been through a lotNow it’s time for you to shine.

  • April 10, 2018
    2
    9

    Family is not about blood, its about who is willing to hold your hand when you need it the most.

  • April 10, 2018
    3
    7

    The sad thing is, nobody ever really knows how much anyone else is hurting. We could be standing next to somebody who is completely broken and we wouldn’t even know it.

  • April 9, 2018
    0
    1

    You deserve someone who never stops trying to show how much you mean to them, even after they have you.

  • April 9, 2018
    0
    3

    I’m attracted to intelligence, not education. You could graduate from the best, most elite college, but if you’re clueless about the world and society, you don’t know anything.

  • April 9, 2018
    1
    9

    God often removes a person in your life for your protection. Think about that before you go running after them

  • April 9, 2018
    1
    8

    Sometimes a hug is worth more than a thousand words.

  • April 9, 2018
    0
    10

    The less you respond to negativity, the more peaceful your life will become.

  • April 9, 2018
    1
    5

    One of the best feelings is finally losing feelings and your attachment to somebody that isn’t good for you.

  • April 8, 2018
    1
    4

    A true relationship is when you can tell each other anything and everything. No secrets, no lies.

  • April 8, 2018
    1
    2

    Be thankful for the difficult people in your life for they have shown you who you do not want to be.

  • April 8, 2018
    0
    3

    “People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don’t think that’s true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.”― Kim Culbertson

  • April 8, 2018
    1
    7

    I’m a very strong believer that whoever is meant to be in your life will always gravitate back towards you, regardless how far they wander.

  • April 8, 2018
    1
    3

    It’s nice when someone remembers small details about you. Not because you keep reminding them, but because they actually care.

  • April 8, 2018
    4
    5

    Don’t let people know too much about you.

  • April 7, 2018
    2
    9

    I’m a very patient person and I give plenty of second chances but I am not a saint. I have my limits.

  • April 7, 2018
    2
    9

    Losing someone who doesn’t respect or appreciate you is actually a gain, not a loss.

  • April 7, 2018
    1
    9

    No matter how badly someone treats you, never drop down to their level. Remain calm, stay strong, and walk away.”

  • April 7, 2018
    0
    8

    No one has the right to judge you because no one really knows what you have been through. They might have heard the stories but they didn’t feel what you felt in your heart.

  • April 7, 2018
    1
    0

    If you want to know where your heart is, look where your mind goes when it wanders.

  • April 7, 2018
    0
    9

    My life. My choices. My problems. My mistakes. My lessons. Not your business. Mind your own problems before you talk about mine. My life is not your story to tell.

  • April 6, 2018
    0
    3

    “Someday, all the love you’ve given away, will find its way back to you, and it will finally stay.”
    ―Drewniverses.

  • April 6, 2018
    1
    9

    When it’s overleaveDon’t continue watering a dead flower.

  • April 6, 2018
    0
    13

    Before you assumelearn the facts. Before you judge, understand why. Before you hurt someone, feel. Before you speak, think.

  • April 6, 2018
    3
    2

    The best six doctors: Sunshine, water, rest, air, exercise & diet.

  • April 6, 2018
    0
    0

    Lost myself trying to please everyone else. Now I’m losing everyone trying to find myself.

  • April 6, 2018
    2
    7

    People usually change for two reasons. It’s either they have learned a lot, or they have been hurt a lot.

  • April 5, 2018
    1
    8

    If someone just keeps ignoring you, don’t make excuses for their behavior. Take the hint and move on.  Let it be their loss.

  • April 5, 2018
    0
    8

    Sometimes God holds you back temporarily until the road is safe and clear to continue. Be thankful for the stall.

  • April 5, 2018
    0
    12

    A Parent’s Prayer Lord, I ask you to protect my children physically emotionally, spiritually, mentally & every way.

  • April 5, 2018
    0
    6

    When you can’t forgive someone, pray for them. It may or may not change them, but it will always change you

  • April 5, 2018
    1
    5

    I Hope he Loves you like This. {Poem}

     

    I hope he cooks you breakfast
    Knowing how you like your eggs
    how you take your coffee
    how little or how much you wish to speak.
    I hope he cooks you dinner, too
    For no reason at all.

    I hope he holds your hand proudly
    as you walk through a room
    of people you don’t know.

    I hope he builds you up
    until you are standing on a pedestal
    of your own creation.

    I hope he encourages you to make art
    take risks
    travel the world
    be alone—
    always knowing that you’ll be back
    home in his warm embrace
    as long as his heart is open.

    I hope he wears his heart on his sleeve
    and is not shy
    to adorn yours
    as well.

    I hope he is the kind of person
    who, when presented with the ocean,
    will not shy away
    from diving in
    to ride the waves.

    I hope he is all of himself
    unafraid to own
    his stories
    no matter how dark they may seem.

    I hope he can see that all of you
    is in the stars
    poking through
    the dark sky
    of your past.

    I hope he is not scared
    by your ability to choose growth
    your ability to not be held hostage
    by the person you were yesterday
    last week
    last year.

    I hope his attention span
    is as long as every word
    that exits your mouth
    your heart.
    I hope that he hears your truth
    and meets it with gratitude
    for your vulnerability.

    I hope he loves you
    in a way you didn’t know love existed.
    For you have only seen love
    in other places
    with shaky ground that fell
    beneath your hopeful feet.

    This is who I hope
    for you—
    Because you are worthy
    of being loved
    by a heart so bright
    the sun blushes
    in admiration.

    ~

    Author: Annabelle Blythe

  • April 5, 2018
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    2

    When You’re Forcing Love To Stay Alive, It Isn’t Love Anymore.

     

    Sometimes love is ugly, challenging, frustrating, painful – even in the happiest and strongest of relationships. Love takes work. It takes effort. Love is not always light and pretty. It takes the ability to admit when you’re wrong. It takes dedication, it takes loyalty.
    But there is a difference between fighting for something that you know is too good to let go of, and clinging on to something that has already died.
    Often, deep down, we already know when it’s not love anymore. What it is is familiarity, routine, insurance. It’s something we’ve gotten used to. It’s a security blanket. It’s the guarantee that we aren’t alone. Sometimes the death of love is easier to sense, if we’re with someone who directly makes us incredibly unhappy. And sometimes it’s harder to admit to ourselves, because we’re with someone whom we care about deeply, even if we’re no longer in love with them. But no matter the specific circumstances, we try to convince ourselves that the love is still there, because we’re not ready for the alternative.
    And so we grasp onto it, no matter how much our gut resists, because we’d rather cling to something that is dead than willingly step into a world where we are hurt and alone.
    It’s not a fault really, not a flaw. Just human nature. It is in our bones to want to be with other people. To feel instantly comforted from the touch or the assurance of another human being. To feel actual, physical pain when we stretch out in bed and are once again reminded that there is no longer a warm body in the place next to us.
    But we must remember that there is a difference between forcing love and fighting for it. Forcing love – forcing yourself to feel something – is not love at all. It’s a manufactured emotion your body has created as a coping mechanism, a survival instinct. Forcing love means it’s already dead. And when you spend all your time forcing yourself to love someone, you miss the opportunity to fight for the person who really sets your soul on fire. The choice isn’t easy, but at least it’s yours.

    Written by Kim Quindlen

    This article was originally published in thoughtcatalog.com

    Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/kimberlyquindlen

  • April 4, 2018
    1
    4

    What doesn’t kill you gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humor.

  • April 4, 2018
    0
    9

    Everyone is so focused on being a savage, busy, and acting heartless these days. Meanwhile, I’m searching for the humans that believe in compassion, love, and human connection.
    -Sylvester McNutt III

  • April 4, 2018
    1
    13

    People come and gobut once in a while you meet someone who is supposed to be in your life and your heart goes, “Oh THERE you are. I’ve been looking for you.

  • April 4, 2018
    0
    4

    I love plannershighlightersball point pens, to do lists & anything else that gives me the illusion that Im getting my life together.

  • April 4, 2018
    0
    4

    Some days I am goddess. Some days I am wild child. And some days I am a fragile mess. Most days I am a bit of all three. But every day, I am here, trying.
    S.C. Lourie

  • April 4, 2018
    0
    11

    Relationships don’t last because of the good times; they last because the hard times were handled with love and care. ~ Anmol Andore

  • April 3, 2018
    1
    13

    Missing someone isn’t about how long since you’ve seen them or the amount of time you’ve talked to them. It’s about that very moment when you’re doing something and wishing they were right there with you.

  • April 3, 2018
    3
    7

    She didn’t need to be saved. She needed to be found and appreciated for exactly who she was.
    J iron wood

  • April 3, 2018
    3
    13

    I have known hardship. I have lost myself. But here I stand, still moving forward, growing stronger each day. I will never forget the harsh lessons in my life. They made me stronger.

  • April 3, 2018
    0
    6

    Life is Beautiful ! One day One hour One minute Will not come again In your entire life So avoid fights, angriness and speak lovely to every person.

  • April 3, 2018
    0
    10

    If you stay, stay forever. If you go, do it today. If you change, change for the better. And if you talk, make sure you mean what you say.

  • April 3, 2018
    1
    7

    I just want an honest relationship. No lies. No mind games. No cheating.

  • April 2, 2018
    3
    9

    I think I’ll miss you for a really long time. No matter how easily distracted I am, I will always find a split second to think of you.

  • April 2, 2018
    0
    10

    At the end of the day, I’m a good person. I’m not perfect by any means but my intentions are good, my heart is pure and I love hard with everything I’ve got.

  • April 2, 2018
    0
    7

    I’m blessed with everything I need. I am working hard towards everything I want. And most of all I appreciate & Thank God for what I have.

  • April 2, 2018
    1
    9

    The most wonderful places to be in the world are: In someone’s thoughts, someone’s prayers, someone’s heart or in someone’s arms.

  • April 2, 2018
    1
    6

    Do good and good will come to you.”

  • April 2, 2018
    0
    6

    A beautiful face will age and a perfect body will change, but a beautiful soul will always be a beautiful soul.

  • April 1, 2018
    6
    7

    It’s better to wait long than marry wrong.

  • April 1, 2018
    3
    8

    God when I lose hope, help me to remember that your love is greater than my disappointments & your plans for my life are better than my dreams. Amen. – Jasmeen Kaur Wadhera

  • April 1, 2018
    3
    11

    You’re in a relationship to be happy, to smile, to laugh and to make good memories. Not to constantly be upset, to feel hurt and to cry.

  • April 1, 2018
    2
    10

    Never be a prisoner of your past, it was just a lesson not a life sentence.

  • April 1, 2018
    1
    8

    Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting, it means you choose happiness over hurt.

  • April 1, 2018
    2
    6

    I think one of the greatest feelings in the world is when someone openly tells you how much you mean to them. Raw honesty is so rare.