To encourage you to keep going.
To remind you to be strong.

Archive for February, 2018

  • February 28, 2018
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    I hope you fall in love with someone who always calls you back and never lets you fall asleep making you feel unwanted. I hope you fall in love with someone who holds your hand during the scary parts of horror movies and burns cookies with you while you’re both busy dancing around the kitchen. I hope you fall in love with someone who tickles you and makes you smile on hard days and on easy ones. But beyond all that I hope you fall in love with someone who will never leave you behind and who will never take you for granted. Someone who will stand by you when you’re right and stand by you when you’re wrong. Someone who has seen you at your worst and loves you still. I hope you fall in love with someone who kisses you in the rain and hugs you when you’re cold and wouldn’t have it any other way.
    ~Unknown

     

  • February 28, 2018
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    I am a woman of substance. Don’t judge me by my looks or my clothes. I am more than what meets the eye. Define me by the tough battles I fight each day. Define me by my courage to face them as I rise above no matter how difficult. My life is not glorious and I don’t have medals to flaunt but my biggest trophy is my heart.I value love, friendships, honesty and trust. I will survive despite all odds in my life because I am strong through and through.

  • February 28, 2018
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    Remember this because it will happen many times in your life. When people show you who they are the first time believe them. Not the 29th. time. When a man doesn’t call you back the first time, when you are mistreated the first time, when someone shows you lack of integrity or dishonesty the first time, know that this will be followed many many other times, that will some point in life come back to haunt or hurt you. Live your life in truth. Don’t pretend to be someone your not. You will survive anything if you live your life from the point of view of truth.
    ~Maya Angelou

     

  • February 28, 2018
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    My goal for this summer is just to fall back in love with myself and the world and life again.

  • February 28, 2018
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    I think a lot of people don’t understand what real romance is. Anyone can buy flowers, candy and jewelry. The truly romantic things in life are those little things you do every day to show you care, and that you’re thinking of them. It’s going out of your way to make them happy. The way you hold her hand when you know she’s scared, or you save the last piece of cake for him. The random text or call in the middle of the day, just to say “I love you” or “I miss you”. The way he stops to kiss you when he passes by. It’s dedicating her favorite song to her, and letting her eat your fries; telling her she’s beautiful. It’s putting your favorite show on pause so she can tell you about her day, and laughing at his jokes, even the really lame ones. It’s slow dancing in the kitchen and kissing in the rain. Romance isn’t about buying, it’s about giving. True romance is in gestures.

    ~Unknown

     

  • February 27, 2018
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    Today I woke with your name upon my tongue, bitter, like the dregs of whisky that burned my throat last night as I drank to the sound of sad movies and faded dreams.

    Bitter, like the taste of poison in my veins.

    Once, you were the tender kiss of morning coffee upon my lips, the gentle warmth of the sun as it streamed through worn blinds and washed over our bones; our limbs tangled in the bed we used to share.

    Now there is only the imprint of your memory, laid to rest in the cold grave next to me where you belong no more.

    Yet still you remain, trapped inside my heart where the acidity of all we became seeps into my bloodstream and contaminates my flesh, my organs, my soul.

    Yet still you remain, trapped inside the walls of my unforgiveness where I have refused to set you free. Where I have imprisoned you to my hatred, to make you suffer the wrath of my anger the way I had to suffer yours.

    Except, the only person who suffers, is me.

    I step outside, barefoot, and feel the cool of grass between my toes. The air is fresh, pure, and I breathe it into my lungs, ache for it to cleanse the remnants of you that reside within my core.

    No longer do I wish to keep you here, inside my heart, where you corrode my veins. No longer do I wish to keep you here, where I am shackled to pain, where I am captive to misery with every breath I take.

    I gaze at the horizon where city meets sky and in this moment I know.

    There is nothing to do but forgive you.

    There is no weakness in forgiving you, it is not an ill-fought surrender.

    It is bravery, it is strength. It is release, liberation; freedom.

    It is an act of love.

    Not only in setting you free.

    But in setting myself free.

    Because in forgiving you, I forgive me.

    I forgive the girl who needed to be loved, whatever the cost, no matter how much it hurt. Who didn’t understand back then how much she was worth and all that she deserved. Who settled for less, settled for abuse, turned the other cheek, all in the name of love.

    I forgive the girl who made mistakes, who made wrong choices, who hurt other people because of how much she was hurting. I forgive her that she stayed, when she should have walked away. I forgive her vulnerability, her weakness, her desperate need for acceptance. I forgive her that she didn’t know how to fight for her heart back then.

    But now she does.

    Three simple words.

    I forgive you.

    No longer will I continue to hurt you for the way you hurt me.

    But more importantly, no longer will I continue to hurt myself.

    I step back inside, get dressed, and make myself some coffee. The day stretches out before me like any other.

    Nothing has changed, except, everything has.

    Finally, I am free.

    Written by Kathy Parker.

    (With permission)

    Please check out Kathy’s blog at : https://kathyparker.com.au/

  • February 27, 2018
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    The first step to living the life you want is leaving behind the life you don’t want. Letting go of the past is your first step towards happiness. You are here for a special reason. Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your present. Learn from your regrets, but do not punish yourself with them. Live beyond your scars and focus on building the life that you truly deserve. Let today be the first day of your new life.

  • February 27, 2018
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    How to feel better and become better:

    “1. Smile 2. Drink tea and take warm baths 3. If you like someone, wait 4. Smile at a person in public, it’ll make their day and yours 5. Dress in comfy clothes 6. Embrace/love yourself 7. Take care of your body 8. Go outside, and soak in the rays 9. Listen to good music 10. Don’t be afraid to stray from the pack 11. Dress for yourself and no one else 12. Meet new people and become closer to the ones you know 13. Read new books 14. Write poetry even if you don’t think it sounds rights 15. Have ‘me’ time”

  • February 27, 2018
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    True friends say good things behind your back and bad things to your face.

  • February 27, 2018
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    I hope one day you give your heart to someone and they will hold it tight as if it’s their own. I hope one day you wake up and have something or someone to live for. I hope one day you can go to bed smiling without a worry in the world. I hope one day the battle is over and you’ve won. I hope one day you meet someone who makes you realize how beautiful you truly are.

     

  • February 27, 2018
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    Marry your best friend. Marry someone who you wouldn’t mind waking up to every day for the rest of your life. The one who makes you glad to be alive. Marry someone who drives you crazy. The one who frustrates you. The one who calms you. Marry the one you don’t mind fighting with, because they will be fair about it. Don’t marry someone who gives their ego more importance, than they give you. Marry someone who makes you the best version of yourself. The one who believes in you, even when you don’t. The one who stands by you, through thick and thin. Marry someone you can’t imagine your life without. Marry the one you are insanely in love with. And the one who is insanely in love with you. Marry the one who knows what you want to say, when you’re too tired to say it with words. The one you can spend comfortable silences with from time to time. Marry your soul mate. Marry your best friend.”

  • February 27, 2018
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    Foolish girl,

    You turn away from the world because you believe the mistakes you have made are tattooed all over your body and that is all the world can see; marks of shame you cannot wipe clean no matter how many years you scrub your skin until no more blood can seep from your pores still stained with filth and sin.

    You turn away from the world because you believe you are defined by your past, by the choices you made when there were no other choices; that you are bound to the girl you once were by the invisible ropes still tied around your hands and feet, held in place by words of shame that will never deliver you from their grasp.

    You turn away from the world because you believe you are not deserving to hold your head high and look it in the eye; that you carry a scarlet letter upon your forehead that will blind those who dare to look your way, and you cannot stand to see the way they turn their face from your tainted humanity.

    You forget, foolish girl.

    You forget what you have survived.

    You forget you fought alone against the world when your hands were too small to defeat the weight of it, and so you took it on as your own even though it almost crushed you.

    You forget you were betrayed by those who should have protected you and so you barricaded yourself behind hard edges and sharp corners and promised to never trust or need another again.

    You forget the way love was shown as abuse and abuse was shown as love and the shame you were forced to carry because of the way you longed to be loved even when that looked like abuse.

    You forget you sat alone in a room filled with despair as your hands shook and blood trailed down your wrist and in that moment when you could have chosen death, you chose life.

    You forget you have every reason to be hard, but you choose to remain soft. You have every reason to hate, but you choose to show mercy. You have every reason to cast judgment, but you choose to speak grace. You have every reason to f*ck this world the way it has f*cked you, but you choose to heal it instead.

    You forget you have survived what most people never could.

    Foolish girl, you are not foolish at all.

    You are a warrior.

    You are strength. You are bravery. You are courage. You are hope. You are light. You are truth. You are love. You are survival. You are kindness. You are wisdom. You are redemption. You are transformation. You are revolution.

    And most of all, you are worthy.

    To love, and to be loved.

    You just need to believe it.

    ~ © Kathy Parker ~

    (With permission)

     

    Please check out Kathy’s blog at : https://kathyparker.com.au/

  • February 26, 2018
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    When I’m an old Lady.

     

    When I’m an old lady, I’ll live with each kid,
    And bring so much happiness just as they did.
    I want to pay back all the joy they’ve provided.
    Returning each deed! Oh, they’ll be so excited!
    When I’m an old lady and live with my kids.

    I’ll write on the walls with reds, whites and blues,
    And I’ll bounce on the furniture wearing my shoes.
    I’ll drink from the carton and then leave it out.
    I’ll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they’ll shout!
    When I’m an old lady and live with my kids.

    When they’re on the phone and just out of reach,
    I’ll get into things like sugar and bleach.
    Oh, they’ll snap their fingers and then shake their head,
    When I’m an old lady and live with my kids.

    When they cook dinner and call me to eat,
    I’ll not eat my green beans or salad or meat,
    I’ll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,
    And when they get angry I’ll run if I’m able!
    When I’m an old lady and live with my kids.

    I’ll sit close to the TV, through channels I’ll click,
    I’ll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.
    I’ll take off my socks and throw one away,
    And play in the mud ’til the end of the day!
    When I’m an old lady and live with my kids.

    And later in bed, I’ll lay back and sigh,
    I’ll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.
    My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,
    And say with a groan, “She’s so sweet when she’s sleeping!”

    – Joanne Bailey Baxter

  • February 26, 2018
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    Why Mothers Cry

    “Why are you crying?” he asked his mom.
    “Because I’m a Mother,” she told him.
    “I don’t understand,” he said.
    His mom just hugged him and said, “You never will..”
    Later the little boy asked his Father why Mother seemed to cry for no reason.
    “All Mothers cry for no reason,” was all his dad could say.
    The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why Mothers cry. So he finally put in a call to God and when God got on the phone the man said, “God, why do Mothers cry so easily.”
    God said, “You see son, when I made Mothers, they had to be special. I made their shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave them an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times come from their children.
    “I gave them a hardiness that allows them to keep going when everyone else gives up, and to take care of their families through sickness and fatigue without complaining.
    I gave them the sensitivity to love their children under all circumstances, even when their child has hurt them very badly.
    This same sensitivity helps them to make a child’s boo-boo feel better and helps them share a teenager’s anxieties and fears.
    “I gave them a tear to shed. It’s theirs exclusively to use whenever it’s needed.
    It’s their only weakness.
    It’s a tear for mankind.”

    -Unknown

  • February 26, 2018
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    I’ve learned from life that sometimes, the darkest times can bring us to the brightest places. That our most painful struggles can grant us the most necessary growth; and that the most heartbreaking losses of friendship and love can make room for the most wonderful people. I’ve learned that what seems like a curse at the moment can actually be a blessing, and that what seems like the end of the road is actually just the discovery that we are meant to travel down a different path. I’ve learned that no matter how difficult things seem, there is always hope. And I’ve learned that no matter how powerless we feel or how horrible things seem, we can’t give up. We have to keep going. Even when it’s scary, even when all of our strength seems gone, we have to keep picking ourselves back up and moving forward, because whatever we’re battling in the moment, it will pass, and we will make it through. We’ve made it this far. We can make it through whatever comes next.
    ~Daniell Keopke

  • February 26, 2018
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    My point is, when you love someone, when you care for someone, you have to do it through the good and the bad. Not just when you’re happy and it’s easy.

    ~Unknown

  • February 26, 2018
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    She doesn’t need expensive gifts. She doesn’t need expensive dinners. I mean sure all of those things would be nice but, all she really needs is you. She needs your listening ear when she is ready to vent. She needs your shoulder to cry on when life gets hard on her. She needs your words of encouragement when she is getting ready to pursue her dreams. She needs to be able to feel safe around you, and know that you have her best interest when it comes to her heart. And if it’s taking her a while to let you in, she isn’t trying to punish you. She just doesn’t want to repeat making the same mistakes she has made in the past of giving a man her all, just to find out that he couldn’t match her effort. Love her genuinely. Love her patiently. Love her passionately. And last but not least, love her consistently and in return, she will love you like you have never been loved before.

  • February 26, 2018
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    Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

     

  • February 25, 2018
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    50 Timeless Pieces Of Advice About Love & Relationships.

    1.

    Don’t stay with someone who antagonizes you or belittles you.

    2.

    If you feel lonely, you’re better off being alone.

    3.

    Know when to walk away.

    4.

    You can gauge a person’s love for you by how they treat you when they are upset with you.

    5.

    Love is a verb, not a noun.

    6.

    When a lightbulb goes out, you fix the lightbulb. You don’t get a new house.

    7.

    Don’t settle for someone who has zero regard for your feelings or wants just because you’ve been together a long time.

    8.

    Just because you love each other does not mean that you’re good together long-term.

    9.

    No relationship is perfect and there will be conflict. What matters is the desire to solve the problem.

    10.

    Always fight the problem, not the other person. If you keep this in mind when arguing, you’ll be able to actually resolve the issue than be mad at each other.

    11.

    Don’t look for a girl you want to treat like a princess, look for a girl you want to treat like a partner.

    12.

    Don’t disparage your SO behind their back.

    13.

    Confidence isn’t “I know she likes me”, confidence is “I’ll be okay whether she likes me or not.”

    14.

    There are a number of people you can be compatible with. No one is perfect. You have to work at love.

    15.

    You’re not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.

    16.

    Marry the one who gives you the same feeling you get when you see food coming at a restaurant.

    17.

    The grass is not greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it.

    18.

    Stop trying to find the right person and start trying to BE the right person.

    19.

    The person who cares least in the relationship has the most control.

    20.

    Don’t listen to other people’s comments. Make your own relationship rules.

    21.

    It’s better to be happy than to be right.

    22.

    Always be the first to genuinely apologize after a fight.

    23.

    You can’t expect someone to love you when you can’t love yourself.

    24.

    Just because you liked the friend-version of someone doesn’t mean you’ll like the relationship-version of them.

    25.

    Before you move in with your partner, go on a road trip with them.

    26.

    Don’t be afraid to open up and be vulnerable. Vulnerability can bring you closer together and strengthen the two of you.

    27.

    When you and your SO are arguing, remember—it’s you and them VS the problem. Not you VS them.

    28.

    Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

    29.

    Don’t fall in love with someone’s potential.

    30.

    It takes two happy individuals to make a happy relationship.

    31.

    If the world didn’t give each other second chances, we would all be single.

    32.

    Everyone is searching for the perfect person, but no one is trying to be the perfect person.

    33.

    If you love the memories more than the relationship, it’s time to move on.

    34.

    Just because a person is right or perfect for you, you may not be the right one for them.

    35.

    If it’s broken, fix it. If you’ve lost count of how many times it’s broken, or the cost of repair far outweighs the initial outlay, throw it away and move on.

    36.

    Out of all the things needed for a successful relationship, love barely makes the top 5. Honesty, loyalty, trust, and communication all have to be there.

    37.

    Always hold hands when talking about the hard stuff. It helps to keep the negative emotions in check & shows you care.

    38.

    Be the man or woman you would want your future or current child dating.

    39.

    Love is about appreciation, not possession.

    40.

    Don’t go to bed angry. Everything will be there and worse in the morning.

    41.

    Always seduce your lover, even if you are in a committed relationship. Otherwise, another person will.

    42.

    Talk to each other about problems, not friends and family.

    43.

    Keep no secrets, tell no lies.

    44.

    Sometimes you gotta wise up and let go. Yes, it hurts. But it’ll hurt more in the future.

    45.

    Relationships aren’t hard. If it is hard, you are probably with the wrong person.

    46.

    Love is not a feeling. Feelings fade, change, respond to situations and events. Love is a choice.

    47.

    If it feels wrong at the beginning, it probably won’t get better.

    48.

    If you’re keeping score you already lost.

    49.

    Love is an action, not a feeling. It’s learned and developed skill, not an experience. Not that the romantic feeling doesn’t exist or isn’t a wonderful part of the relationship, but it doesn’t make it last.

    50.

    The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook

    Written by:Lorenzo Jensen III

    This article was published in thoughtcatalog.com  & Found on AskReddit.

  • February 25, 2018
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    Life is an echo. What you send out – comes back. What you sow – you reap. What you give – you get. What you see in others – exists in you. Do not judge – so you will  NOT be judged. Radiate and give LOVE and love will come back to you.

     

  • February 25, 2018
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    A sweet lesson on patience.

    A NYC Taxi driver wrote:

    I arrived at the address and honked the horn. After waiting a few minutes I honked again. Since this was going to be my last ride of my shift I thought about just driving away, but instead I put the car in park and walked up to the door and knocked.. ‘Just a minute’, answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

    After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90’s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940’s movie.

    By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.

    There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard
    box filled with photos and glassware.

    ‘Would you carry my bag out to the car?’ she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

    She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

    She kept thanking me for my kindness. ‘It’s nothing’, I told her.. ‘I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother to be treated.’

    ‘Oh, you’re such a good boy, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address and then asked, ‘Could you drive
    through downtown?’

    ‘It’s not the shortest way,’ I answered quickly..

    ‘Oh, I don’t mind,’ she said. ‘I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice.

    I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. ‘I don’t have any family left,’ she continued in a soft voice..’The doctor says I don’t have very long.’ I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

    ‘What route would you like me to take?’ I asked.

    For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

    We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

    Sometimes she’d ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

    As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, ‘I’m tired. Let’s go now’.
    We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

    Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move.
    They must have been expecting her.

    I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

    ‘How much do I owe you?’ She asked, reaching into her purse.

    ‘Nothing,’ I said

    ‘You have to make a living,’ she answered.

    ‘There are other passengers,’ I responded.

    Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug.She held onto me tightly.

    ‘You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,’ she said. ‘Thank you.’

    I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life..

    I didn’t pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk.What if that woman had gotten an angry driver,or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

    On a quick review, I don’t think that I have done anything more important in my life.

    We’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

    But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

  • February 25, 2018
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    You can’t calm the storm… so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.

    — Timber Hawkeye

  • February 25, 2018
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    I have learned to be grateful even when I feel sad, to think positively when I’m surrounded by negativity, to hold fast to faith even when I feel hopeless, to accept love even when I feel unlovable; because despite all the noise in my head that tell me my life is over, the sun shows up every morning and shines, reminding me that I can surely do the same. ~Margaret. M. Painter

     

  • February 25, 2018
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    There are people who can walk away from you…let them walk. I don’t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you… Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over. And you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over.
    ~ T.D. Jakes

  • February 24, 2018
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    It’s really painful to say goodbye to someone that you don’t want to let go of, but it’s even more painful to hold on to them if they never wanted to stay in the first place. If someone doesn’t show you the same love that you show them, and acts as if you are unimportant most of the time, this may be a big clue as to the fact that you don’t need them in your life either. The only people you truly need in your life are those who respect you and want you to be in theirs.

     

  • February 24, 2018
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    Life has taught me that you can’t control someone’s loyalty. No matter how good you are to them, doesn’t mean that they will treat you the same. No matter how much they mean to you, doesn’t mean that they’ll value you the same. Sometimes the people you love the most, turn out to be the people you can trust the least.

    ~Trent Shelton

     

  • February 24, 2018
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    Sometimes you are unsatisfied with your life, while many people in this world are dreaming of living your life. A child on a farm sees a plane fly overhead and dreams of flying. But, a pilot on the plane sees the farmhouse and dreams of returning home. That’s life!! Enjoy yours… If wealth is the secret to happiness, then the rich should be dancing on the streets. But only poor kids do that. If power ensures security, then officials should walk unguarded. But those who live simply, sleep soundly. If beauty and fame bring ideal relationships, then celebrities should have the best marriages. Live simply. Walk humbly and love genuinely..!  All good will come back to you.
    Dr. Ben Carson

     

  • February 24, 2018
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    Motherhood takes you to heaven and hell every day. It erases your past and amplifies it at the same time. It destroys and rebuilds you, slowly and carefully: replacing the cracked, broken bricks with stronger ones with no anesthesia.

    Motherhood kills the old you; it doesn’t care who you think you are, only who you must be in this moment to meet the needs of the ones you invited into this world.

    And somehow, by feeding that child, loving that child, wiping that child’s tears from their damp cheeks, pouring water over that child’s head as you sit beside them, uncomfortable and damp next to the bathtub, you become the gentlest of warriors.

    Motherhood is a bridge that you walk alone, but as you look to your left and to your right, you see others on their own bridges, navigating the rickety planks of swaying wood. And as you see them struggling just like you are not to fall, it gives you the courage to take one more step.

    Motherhood is painfully lonely, but at 3 o’clock in the afternoon whether you’re sitting on the living room floor with a child who doesn’t know your real name or at 3 o’clock in the morning with a child who needs your steady tapping on their pajama-ed back, you’re not alone because all over the world, mothers are doing the same thing. Their minds wander through the garden of their imaginations and memories, dreaming of sleep and rest, but powered by the fiercest of love.

    The love that one pours into their child doesn’t come from the heart. Anyone can be in love. Anyone can be infatuated. The type of love one has for their child comes from the center of their bones. It’s the type of love that doesn’t need reciprocation to burn hot. It’s the type of love that never keeps score. It’s the type of love that powers nature in her infinite beauty and ruthlessness.

    When a mother says, “I love you,” she doesn’t mean “I love how you make me feel” she means “You are my world, my sun and my moon and not life or death can change that, wherever you are I will find you whether it be across seas or lost within yourself. You are my breath and the light inside my eyes.”

    Motherhood, while almost never glamorous, is always beautiful.

    Written by:  Bunmi Laditan

  • February 24, 2018
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    I Hope he Loves you like This. {Poem}

     

    I hope he cooks you breakfast
    Knowing how you like your eggs
    how you take your coffee
    how little or how much you wish to speak.
    I hope he cooks you dinner, too
    For no reason at all.

    I hope he holds your hand proudly
    as you walk through a room
    of people you don’t know.

    I hope he builds you up
    until you are standing on a pedestal
    of your own creation.

    I hope he encourages you to make art
    take risks
    travel the world
    be alone—
    always knowing that you’ll be back
    home in his warm embrace
    as long as his heart is open.

    I hope he wears his heart on his sleeve
    and is not shy
    to adorn yours
    as well.

    I hope he is the kind of person
    who, when presented with the ocean,
    will not shy away
    from diving in
    to ride the waves.

    I hope he is all of himself
    unafraid to own
    his stories
    no matter how dark they may seem.

    I hope he can see that all of you
    is in the stars
    poking through
    the dark sky
    of your past.

    I hope he is not scared
    by your ability to choose growth
    your ability to not be held hostage
    by the person you were yesterday
    last week
    last year.

    I hope his attention span
    is as long as every word
    that exits your mouth
    your heart.
    I hope that he hears your truth
    and meets it with gratitude
    for your vulnerability.

    I hope he loves you
    in a way you didn’t know love existed.
    For you have only seen love
    in other places
    with shaky ground that fell
    beneath your hopeful feet.

    This is who I hope
    for you—
    Because you are worthy
    of being loved
    by a heart so bright
    the sun blushes
    in admiration.

    ~

    Author: Annabelle Blythe


    Originally appeared on Elephant Journal

  • February 24, 2018
    4
    7

    It wasn’t your fault.

    It wasn’t your fault you weren’t protected from getting hurt when you were younger.

    It wasn’t your fault you weren’t told how much you mattered, how much you were worth.

    It wasn’t your fault you had no voice, that you were powerless and not taught to say no.

    It wasn’t your fault you didn’t know how to draw the line around your heart, mind and body to protect yourself from being hurt by others.

    It wasn’t your fault the people who should have shown you where to draw that line instead made you feel you weren’t important enough to keep safe.

    You grew up with no lines and no boundaries and you didn’t know the difference between love and abuse, and because of that, you allowed others to hurt you, when all you really wanted was for others to love you.

    And that isn’t your fault.

    Let yourself be angry. Let yourself be angry that you were never told how much you were worth. That you never protected yourself because nobody ever protected you. That you allowed people to violate the lines that should have been there but never were because you weren’t told how to put those lines in place.

    Because you weren’t told how important you were, and how much it mattered.

    How much you mattered.

    Let the anger rise within you. Allow yourself to cry tears of rage and grief for all you have lost. For all others have taken from you – not what you have given away – but what others have taken from you, that you can no longer get back.

    Use that anger to fight for yourself in the way you should have been fought for. Use it to reclaim all that has been taken, to reclaim your heart. Let the anger become a fire that rages in your soul and burns away the tarnish that others have left upon you. Let the flames consume you, let them purify you, let them cleanse you and refine you until all that is left is the beauty of who you really are.

    Your worth is great. You were created by the same hands that created the galaxies and the stars and the oceans and the storms and the wind that rages across the four corners of the earth. You were breathed into existence, not by accident, but with purpose, with promise. The entire universe listens just to hear the beating of your heart and the whisper of your breath. You were meant to be here. You were supposed to be here.

    You were wanted here.

    And you are worthy of the kind of love that nurtures your soul and heals your heart. A love that sees your value and worth and believes in you. A love that is strong and kind, loyal and true. A love that brushes the hair from your eyes and kisses your forehead and gives you its jacket when you are cold and holds your hand when you are scared and draws you into its arms and doesn’t let go until it stops hurting. You are worthy of someone whose feet are anchored; who loves you when you radiate with the light of the moon and stars, and loves you even harder when you are cast in the shadow of your own cold sorrow.

    You are worthy of a love that will never, ever hurt you.

    Draw your lines, dear woman, for within these lines lies the truth of all that you are worth.

    And the moment you come to know this truth, is the moment nobody can ever take that away from you again.

    ~ © Kathy Parker ~

    (With permission)

    Please check out Kathy’s blog at : https://kathyparker.com.au/

  • February 23, 2018
    2
    5

    There are people who have broken your heart. Who have hurt you. Who have broken your trust. But look carefully. There are some who love you, who trust you and are proud of you. Yes, there were things that didn’t work. There were moments when life was really harsh. But think carefully. There were moments when things worked out the way you wanted. When you were smiling. When life was pleasant. Yes, you made mistakes. You felt bad for yourself. But think carefully. There were moments when you were proud of yourself. When you followed your heart. When you did what you wanted to do. So relax. Your past is gone. Shape your future and have fun in the present. Life is never the way we want it to be. But that’s the way it is. You are not perfect. No one else is. You have flaws. Everyone has. You made mistakes. Everyone has. You failed at something. Everyone has. You can try again. So relax. You are a good human being. You are lovable. You are beautiful. Don’t be so harsh on your life. Love yourself. Because you deserve the best and that is you.
    ~Unknown

     

  • February 23, 2018
    1
    4

    7 Cardinal Rules for Life

    The 7 Cardinal Rules For Life: 1. Make peace with your past so it won’t disturb your present. 2. What other people think of you is none of your business. 3. Time heals almost everything. Give it time. 4. No one is in charge of your happiness, except you. 5. Don’t compare your life to others . You have no idea what their journey is all about. 6. Stop thinking too much. It’s alright not to know the answers. They will come to you when you least expect it. 7. Smile. You don’t own all the problems in the world.

     

     

  • February 23, 2018
    2
    7

    lflssns

     

    1. Have a firm handshake. 2. Look people in the eye. 3. Sing in the shower. 4. Own a great stereo system. 5. If in a fight, hit first and hit hard. 6. Keep secrets. 7. Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday. 8. Always accept an outstretched hand. 9. Be brave. Even if you’re not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference. 10. Whistle. 11. Avoid sarcastic remarks. 12. Choose your life’s mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90% of all your happiness and misery. 13. Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out. 14. Lend only those books you never care to see again. 15. Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have. 16. When playing games with children, let them win. 17. Give people a second chance, but not a third. 18. Be romantic. 19. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know. 20. Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems. 21. Don’t allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It’s there for our convenience, not the caller’s. 22. Be a good loser. 23. Be a good winner. 24. Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret. 25. When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go. 26. Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born. 27. Keep it simple. 28. Beware of the person who has nothing to lose. 29. Don’t burn bridges. You’ll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river. 30. Live your life so that your epitaph could read: No regrets. 31. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the ones you did. 32. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them. 33. Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you. 34. Take charge of your attitude. Don’t let someone else choose it for you. 35. Visit friends and relatives when they are in the hospital; you only need to stay a few minutes. 36. Begin each day with some of your favourite music. 37. Once in a while, take the scenic route. 38. Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, ‘Someone who thinks you’re terrific. 39. Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice. 40. Keep a notepad and pencil on your bedside table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m. 41. Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job. 42. Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later. 43. Make someone’s day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you. 44. Become someone’s hero. 45. Marry only for love. 46. Count your blessings. 47. Compliment the meal when you’re a guest in someone’s home. 48. Wave at the children on a school bus. 49. Remember that 80% of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people. 50. Don’t expect life to be fair.

     

     

  • February 23, 2018
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    16

    Sometimes a hug is worth more than a thousand words.

  • February 23, 2018
    1
    0

     

    Find someone that isn’t afraid to admit they miss you. Someone that knows you’re not perfect but treats you as if you are. Someone who couldn’t imagine losing you. Someone who gives their heart to you completely. Someone who says I love you and proves it. Last but not least, find someone who wouldn’t mind waking up to you in the morning, seeing your wrinkles and grey hair but still falls in love with you all over again.
    ~Unknown

  • February 23, 2018
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    4

    Find someone that isn’t afraid to admit they miss you. Someone that knows you’re not perfect but treats you as if you are. Someone who couldn’t imagine losing you. Someone who gives their heart to you completely. Someone who says I love you and proves it. Last but not least, find someone who wouldn’t mind waking up to you in the morning, seeing your wrinkles and grey hair but still falls in love with you all over again.
    ~Unknown

     

     

  • February 22, 2018
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    You are not a back-up plan. You are worth more than someone’s second choice. You can’t force yourself to stop caring for someone, but you can tell yourself that you deserve better. Never settle to be someone’s second best. Raise your standards and choose to be with someone who will treat you with the same respect and consideration you would treat them. You can’t expect to be someone else’s priority if you aren’t your own.

     

  • February 22, 2018
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    17 Beautiful Life Lessons:

    1. You’re beautiful. 2. Everything worth having requires a lot work and time . 3. You must do what scares you. 4. Friendships and relationships require constant effort and time. 5. When opportunity knocks, you have to answer the door. When a door closes, you have to open a window. 6. Strike a balance between saving and experiencing. 7. Make exercise a habit. 8. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. 9. A drama-free and boring life is actually a great thing. 10. Know that everyone is fighting a private battle; respond to rudeness with kindness when you can. 11. Your attitude is everything. 12. Be grateful. Don’t take anything for granted. 13. No one is in charge of your happiness but you. 14. Be a person of integrity. 15. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated. 16. Stop blaming and take responsibility for every area of your life. 17. Manners are beautiful; say “thank you” and “please” always.

  • February 22, 2018
    4
    8

     

    “Not everyone deserves your friendship, or your care, or your heart or your love. And some don’t even deserve the words that explain why you’re taking it all back. Even if they deserved your heart and your respect before, it doesn’t entitle them to it forever. Sometimes you have to adjust your behavior based on another’s, even if you were willing to provide that love unconditionally before.”

  • February 22, 2018
    1
    10

    I’m a very strong believer that whoever is meant to be in your life will always gravitate back towards you, regardless how far they wander.

  • February 22, 2018
    0
    3

    Marry someone you love with your whole heart. Someone who excites you emotionally, intellectually and sexually. Someone who “gets” you and isn’t out to change you. Nothing good will ever come of not being true to yourself. Marry your best friend. Find a person you want to share things with — from the smallest detail of your day to the biggest plans for your life. Marry someone you want to be with at the end of each day and until the end of your days. Never get married because you think it’s time; get married because you’ve found the right person — no matter how much time that takes. Marry someone with a beautiful soul. A person who isn’t afraid to show love or be loved. Find the person who encourages you to be your best self. When you do, be good to them. Express your gratitude and love daily to this person who is giving you the precious gift of sharing their life with you.
    ~Abby Rodman,

     

  • February 22, 2018
    5
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    HOW OUR HEARTS ARE CHANGED BY BETRAYAL

     

    You haven’t always been this way.

    You haven’t always been a body lined with thorns, a heart wrapped in razor wire; hard lines and jaded eyes.

    Distant, aloof, guarded.

    There was a time you were shades of pastel; when your heart knew love, and trust rested freely upon your fingertips.

    There was a time your days were painted with innocence. Where eager eyes gazed at the world with hope and wonder, your heart still shiny and new.

    But all of this changed the moment you were betrayed by someone you loved. Someone you trusted. Someone who should have protected you. Someone who hurt you instead. Someone who allowed you to be hurt by others.

    There is little else that shatters a heart as much as the pain of betrayal. It tears you open, rips your heart out of your chest. You don’t want to put it back, you want to leave it on the floor to bleed until there is nothing left, until the blood runs dry and you no longer have to feel a damn thing anymore. But you can’t. You have to go on. So you pick your heart off the floor and place it back inside your hollow chest.

    Except, the heart that you put back is never the same heart. It is wounded, war-torn. It no longer seeks love, but only to protect itself from the pain of ever being betrayed again.

    A heart that is betrayed is changed forever.

    No longer will it trust anyone again, but greets every person with reservation and fear; wary of a world that has proven to only take advantage for its own benefit. It remains hyper-vigilant in its desperate need to prove itself right; forever searching for the cracks inside another person that prove they too are unworthy of trust. It needs to know its enemy. It needs to remain one step in front at all times. Kindness is met with suspicion, for your heart has learned nothing comes without a cost – there are always strings, always an agenda. Your heart rejects kindness, remains cynical of it, refuses to accept it. It would rather suffer on its own than accept kindness that allows it to become vulnerable to another.

    Your heart no longer knows how to trust itself either, and it makes vows to stay hard, to stay tough. Never will I want again. Never will I need again. Never will I trust again. Never will I love again. These vows are the cornerstones of the fortress it builds around itself, the strongholds that keep the walls in place. It gives up hope of ever being protected and instead learns to protect itself. It becomes a slave to its independence, its autonomy. Here, in its fortress, it is safe. Here, behind its walls, it can remain distant, removed.

    Here, your heart can trust itself not to feel. 

    For betrayal has taught your heart how dangerous it is to feel. To want, to need. To desire love, relationship, connection. No, your heart must deaden itself to its desires. It must wake each morning with one goal of attack – to kill your hungry soul. To destroy your desires before they destroy you. Your heart cannot afford to want, it is too dangerous, too much of a risk that will lead to being hurt again. This is how your heart stays safe – it refuses to be tempted by love ever again.

    Except, your heart was created for relationship. Your heart was created for intimacy. But intimacy is the enemy, the biggest threat. Intimacy requires your heart to be vulnerable, to let someone close. To betray its own desires in the hope it will not be betrayed because of them. Intimacy is the most dangerous of all, and your heart turns itself away and chooses to live without hope of relationship, of closeness, of oneness with another.

    Betrayal has changed your heart.

    It has damaged your heart.

    It has left it powerless, helpless, vulnerable, wounded, damaged, guarded, broken. Your heart can no longer trust, does not trust. It no longer believes in the goodness of anyone else’s heart. It no longer believes it is worthy of being loved, of being protected. It is tired from living in a constant state of anticipation and expectation that it will be hurt and betrayed once more. It no longer wants to love, no longer knows how to love. It has become numb, deadened to its desires, and you tell yourself you are content with this.

    That here, you are safe. You are in control. You are untouchable.

    Except, you are lonely. So goddamn lonely.

    And this is the paradox of betrayal.

    You are scared of relationship, yet relationship is the very thing that will heal your heart.

    Dear heart, there is a need for you to be safe.

    But there is a greater need for you to be loved.

    The only way to heal is through love. You must find the courage to pull down your fortress. It has kept you safe. But you have dwelled long enough in your solitude. In your loneliness. It is time to lay down your weapons. Surrender is not defeat, but the end of the fight.

    To love is to risk hurt. To trust is to risk betrayal. But you must risk so that you may heal.

    Your heart has learned how to stay safe, how to survive.

    Now, it must learn how to once again love.

    Written by Kathy Parker

    ( with permission)

    Find out more about Kathy at her blog: https://kathyparker.com.au/

  • February 21, 2018
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    “He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.
    – Bob Marley

  • February 21, 2018
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    Why Saying No to Others Is Saying Yes to Yourself.

    “When you say ‘Yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘No’ to yourself.” ~ Paolo Coehlo

     

    A good friend once told me that, “By saying ‘no’ to others, you are saying ‘yes’ to yourself”.

    Taking the time to discern your answer prior to your response assists in speaking your truth.

    When we were children, when we said ‘yes’, we meant ‘yes’. When we said ‘no’, we meant ‘no’.

    Observe toddlers, they know when to say and speak their truth.

    But what happens when we grow older? Is our truth silenced due to other people’s judgment? And if so, what happens when that occurs? Do we suppress who we truly are in work and life?

    “Just in general, no matter what you’re doing, be true to yourself. Never let anyone else dictate how you live your life.” ~ Rumer Willis

    When you’re used to saying ‘yes’ all the time, setting boundaries may be a challenging thing to do, but each time you do it, you will feel so much better.

    “It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.” ~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer, The Invitation

    The people who are in the pattern of saying ‘yes’ all the time, if, and when they say ‘no’, seem to feel they have to give an explanation. But unless someone asks for an explanation, no explanation needs to be given. Because just like Jules Renard said it,  “The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.”

    At times in my life, I have struggled with doing too much and not recognizing that saying ‘yes’, was an energy drain. Ultimately, my true talents were not fully being applied.

    Each time you use discernment in your decision-making, one’s life little by little becomes more balanced. By saying ‘no’ to others so that you can say ‘yes’ to yourself, you can observe the full situation carefully, and this will help you gain more wisdom and understanding.

    If you ever need some time to discern, you can say something like, let me think about it, or let me check my calendar and I will respond either way to you by a certain date. If you are “pushed “ to answer immediately, say ‘no.’ Change the subject to a different topic. The person is not honoring who you are or your time to make a decision.

    Be firm and do not apologize, which many ‘yes people’ do. There is no need to apologize, you may be sympathetic, but as a human being, there are only so many hours in the day.

    Do not over-schedule yourself because this will only lead to a list of stress-induced behaviors.

    Another option is to politely decline, by sharing “I have a conflict”.

    This is a true statement, since the conflict is time with yourself, to nurture yourself and your energy.

    Assess if you really want to participate.

    Is it aligning to your truth or your values?

    Does it serve my energy or higher good?

    Are you doing this for approval?

    You are the one in control of your life, not them or anyone else. The only person you need to receive approval from is you. You are of value by just being you! Is this something the other person can perform on their own? If the answer is ‘yes’, then be cautious in saying ‘yes’, otherwise you may feel resentment, regret, anger or taken advantage of.

    “Choose temporary discomfort over long-term resentment.” ~ Brene Brown

    There is a big difference in saying ‘yes’ to something when you feel it in your heart, versus ‘yes’ out of fear of the dreadful “I should do this” type of thinking.

    Personally, I think the word should, be replaced with “I choose”.

    The word “should” is used as many times as a guilt, as a pressure and ultimately resentment will come from using should too often.

    While performing and doing so much at the same time, no one really wins. You are not giving your full focus on the item at hand, and performing only at less than your true potential.

    It is in the silence of the time you spend with oneself when the authentic you arises. Your true energy and power always lies within yourself.

    This article was written by Eileen Timmins, Ph.D. Eileen is an author, artist, motivational speaker, teacher, life coach, labyrinth builder and board member.  She is founder of Aingilin, (which means little angel in Gaelic). To learn more about Eileen, visit www.Aingilin.org or contact her at [email protected]
    We hope you enjoyed this article.

    ~Brigitte/Administrator

  • February 21, 2018
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    Image may contain: text

    Always be yourself. Never try to hide who you are. The only shame is to have shame. Always stand up for what you believe in. Always question what other people tell you. Never regret the past, it’s a waste of time. There’s a reason for everything. Every mistake, every moment of weakness, every terrible thing that has happened to you. Grow from it. The only way you can ever get the respect of others is when you show them that you respect yourself and most importantly, do your thing and never apologize for being you.
    ~Unknown

     

  • February 21, 2018
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    Surround yourself with people who make you happy. People who make you laugh, people who help you when you’re in need. People who would never take advantage of you. People who genuinely care. They are the ones worth keeping in your life. Everyone else is just passing through.

  • February 21, 2018
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    I hope you fall in love with someone who always calls you back and never lets you fall asleep making you feel unwanted. I hope you fall in love with someone who holds your hand during the scary parts of horror movies and burns cookies with you while you’re both busy dancing around the kitchen. I hope you fall in love with someone who tickles you and makes you smile on hard days and on easy ones. But beyond all that I hope you fall in love with someone who will never leave you behind and who will never take you for granted. Someone who will stand by you when you’re right and stand by you when you’re wrong. Someone who has seen you at your worst and loves you still. I hope you fall in love with someone who kisses you in the rain and hugs you when you’re cold and wouldn’t have it any other way.
    ~Unknown

     

  • February 21, 2018
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    Moving on and getting over someone is one of the hardest things you have to do in life. Especially if it’s with someone you saw your future with.So you have to move on the right way. Get your closure from them and tell them everything you ever wanted to tell them, how much you love them, how much you hate them, etc. So you will have no regrets or what ifs. Then tell them goodbye forever. If they let you leave without a fight for you, then they’re not worth it anyways. It’s going to hurt like hell. Allow yourself to be sad. To be angry. But you have to wake up every day and continue your life without them. It’s always easier said than done. So just let time heal your wounds. This is a time for you to heal. To take care of your heart. One day you will wake up and you won’t miss them anymore.
    ~Unknown

     

  • February 20, 2018
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    I want someone who won’t fold under the pressure. Someone who won’t quit when it gets a little tough. That’s when I know I’ve found something special. Something real. Something worth keeping. Anybody can love anybody when things are good. REAL LOVE stands the test of time, the test of faith, and the test of loyalty. I need someone who is ready to lace up their boots and fight for us, for our love when things get tough. Because anything worth having is worth fighting for.

  • February 20, 2018
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    You deserve honesty. You deserve transparency. You deserve someone who respects you enough to never lie to your heart. You deserve appreciation. You deserve loyalty. You deserve someone who would never abuse your trust. You deserve love. You deserve someone who would still be there for you even when everyone else has walked away. You deserve someone who’s REAL. Never settle for less. ~Trent Shelton

     

  • February 20, 2018
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    And so I no longer hide. I finally made the decision. and soon after, it was clear to see that 90% of the stress I’d carried through the years was because I hid myself, pretended, smiled when I didn’t want to, silenced myself when my song was emerging through my very skin. I denied myself and so my world inside was a crumbling mess. I stopped hiding and was blown away by how easy it was to live after. Living became natural again. And being me was no longer a problem. They don’t teach this stuff in schools but they should. they really, really should. Real living is about unhiding. That’s when everything starts to make sense.
    –S.C Lourie

  • February 20, 2018
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    There are rare people who will show up at the right time, help you through the hard times and stay into your best times… Those are the keepers. – Nausicaa Twila

  • February 20, 2018
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    Be with someone who loves you with every beat of their heart. Someone who thinks the world of you. Someone who will encourage you to reach your dreams. Someone who treats you with respect, loves every part of you, especially your flaws. Someone who will be there to help you through the worst times and never miss celebrating the happy moments too. Somebody who loves to laugh, talk, learn and grow as a better person. Somebody who always reminds you how blessed they are to have found you. Someone who looks at you and knows they don’t want anyone else.
    ~Brigitte Nicole

     

  • February 20, 2018
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    Image may contain: 1 person, sitting, ocean, text and outdoor

    Love isn’t always perfect. It isn’t a fairytale or a storybook. And it doesn’t always come easy. Love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges, fighting to be together, holding on & never letting go. It is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define, & impossible to live without. Love is work, but most of all, Love is realizing that every hour, every minute, & every second was worth it because you did it together.

     

  • February 19, 2018
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    I told you I’d move on. I told you I’d let you go someday. Honestly, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but it was worth it. For me, for my heart. You hurt me so bad. You killed my trust, you changed me. I knew I could be strong enough to let you go. I knew it and I did it. I can’t explain how proud I am. Because I’m the only one who knows how much you hurt me. But here I am now, healing. We may love the wrong person, cry for the wrong person, but one thing is sure, mistakes will help us find the right person someday.

    ~Unknown

     

  • February 19, 2018
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    HOW TO STOP WORRYING.

     

    1. Remind yourself that worrying doesn’t stop things happening. Things will happen – or not happen –anyway.

    2. Recognise that “What ifs” don’t usually help with problem solving. It’s better to use logic, and brain storm for solutions. Take control of your emotions by using rational thinking.

    3. Motivate yourself by something other than worrying. Take a break and do something fun, and then go back to your work again. That positive approach will reap more benefits.

    4. Face your fears – and do the things that you worry about. The thought is often much worse than the actual thing you fear.

    5. Ask yourself “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” Then, “What are the chances that it will happen? Then “Will you survive it, if it happens, in the end?” Usually, that helps to move us from an extreme and irrational way of thinking to a more realistic, and reasonable way if thinking.

    6. Teach yourself a range of relaxation strategies – and then concentrate on them instead of on your different fears. Or, adopt a mindful approach – and keep your focus on “right now”.

    Source: http://onlinecounsellingcollege.tumblr.com/

  • February 19, 2018
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    No matter how bad it hurts or how bad you feel, it’s time to stop thinking about that person who played with your feelings, who took your love for granted, who never appreciated your care, who wasn’t contented with what you could give him or her. You can’t stay at that hurtful place anymore. You can’t keep shedding tears over someone who doesn’t deserve the love you gave. You can’t keep feeling sorry for yourself and thinking if only you did more. You can’t make them want the relationship because if they wanted they wouldn’t have let go of you. You deserve better now. You deserve someone who appreciates you and who won’t play with your delicate heart.. Just like a cut on your hand will take time to heal, your broken heart needs time to heal as well. That’s not the end of your life. You will get over that pain you’re having right now and one day you’ll be happy again.
    Orebela Gbenga quotes

     

  • February 19, 2018
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    This letter is to you.
    The you that’s had a rough week. The you that seems to be under constant storm clouds. The you that feels invisible. The you that doesn’t know how much longer you can hold on. The you that has lost faith. The you that always blames yourself for everything that goes wrong. To you. You are incredible. You make this world a little bit more wonderful. You have so much potential and so many things left to do. You have time. Better things are coming your way, so please hang in there.  You can do it. – Jodi Ann Bickley

     

  • February 19, 2018
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    I am a woman of substance. Don’t judge me by my looks or my clothes. I am more than what meets the eye. Define me by the tough battles I fight each day. Define me by my courage to face them as I rise above no matter how difficult. My life is not glorious and I don’t have medals to flaunt but my biggest trophy is my heart.I value love, friendships, honesty and trust. I will survive despite all odds in my life because I am strong through and through.

  • February 19, 2018
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    Image may contain: text

     

    The heart that’s meant to love you will fight for you when you want to give up, pick you up when you’re feeling down, and will give their smile when it’s hard for you to find yours. They will NEVER get strength from seeing you weak, power from seeing you hurt, or joy from seeing you cry. The heart that’s meant to love you wants to see the BEST YOU, not the hurt you! Never forget that.
    ~Trent Shelton.

  • February 18, 2018
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    Image may contain: one or more people and text

    They say love is blind. I disagree. Infatuation is blind. Love is all-seeing and accepting. Love is seeing the flaws and blemishes and accepting them. Love is accepting the bad habits and mannerisms, and working around them. Love is recognizing all the fears and insecurities, and knowing your role is to comfort. Love is working through all the challenges and painful times. Infatuation is fragile and will shatter when life is not perfect. Love is strong and it strengthens because it is real.”
    ~ Author Unknown

  • February 18, 2018
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    12 Things to Remember 1. The past cannot be changed. 2. Opinions don’t define your reality. 3. Everyone’s journey is different. 4. Things always get better with time. 5. Judgements are a confession of character. 6. Overthinking will lead to sadness. 7. Happiness is found within 8. Positive thoughts create positive things. 9. Smiles are contagious. 10. Kindness is free. 11. You only fail if you quit. 12. What goes around comes around.

  • February 18, 2018
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    Dear Mother Who is Struggling,  

     

    I know you haven’t been yourself lately.

     

    I see it in the way your eyes no longer carry the light the way they used to, their colour faded; like an old photograph that once held a cherished memory, now lost.

     

    Your frown lines have deepened, they outnumber the lines of laughter that once etched the sides of your face, back when your joyful smile would reach that far, back when your shoulders were straight and the weight of your tiredness didn’t pull you down.

     

    You love your babies, I know you do.

     

    But this is hard.

     

    And you are tired. So damn tired.

     

    And maybe this is what adds to the tiredness; the guilt that you shouldn’t feel this way. You wonder if you’re the only mother out there who feels so isolated, so alone, so exhausted. Or do they all have these villages you hear of; support networks of family and friends who share the burden of raising a family, while you wake up each morning and wonder how you will get through another day on your own?

     

    There was a world you used to belong to, and you grieve it. It’s there in front of you, every day, on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter – there, in the radiant faces of other women as they go about their social lives, their holidays, gym classes, dates, promotions. You wonder how, in a world so connected by social media, you are left feeling so goddamn disconnected from it all.

     

    Surrounded by little people, noise, clutter, you find yourself lonelier than ever. But it’s not a loneliness from being alone. It’s a loneliness that comes from being so far from yourself, so far from who you once were. You don’t even know who that is anymore. You feel as though you’ve traded your whole identity to be a mother. Sacrificed your entire life to care for those around you. This is all you know now. This is all your life has become.

     

    And you miss the woman you once were, and the life you once had.

     

    You long for your independence, your spontaneity, your carefree. For road trips and dinner dates and live music and nights out in the city. For beach days and lazy Sundays in bed and to read a book, uninterrupted. Drained, you yearn for the things that bring nurture to your tired body and soul as you force yourself through another day on the scarce remnants of what you have left to give.

     

    Around you, other mothers appear cool, unflustered; they’ve got this. You wonder if they catch a glimpse of the defeat in your eyes before you look the other way, if they can sense the effort it takes to simply place one foot in front of the other.

     

    I know this is hard. But take heart, dear one.

     

    It won’t always be this way. It won’t always be so hard. Days will get easier. There will be more moments to be still, to breathe, more moments to laugh again. There will be more moments where you can reach inside and find the misplaced pieces of the woman you used to be, and the days will begin to feel less lonely as you journey back to your own heart.

     

    I know you think the way you struggle makes you a failure. That because of this, you fall short and aren’t enough. Don’t believe these lies. Be gentle on your heart, for every day you face the hardest job, alone, and you make it through. No matter how hard, you don’t give up. You show up, and continue to do the best with what you have. And some days that may not seem like enough.

     

    But every day, you continue to love.

     

    And that will always be more than enough.

     

    I know this is hard. But for now, this is all you need to know.

     

    This too shall pass.  

     

    And when you close your eyes tonight, write those words on the back of your eyelids, and watch as they fall away beneath your skin and seep into your bloodstream where they will reach your heart and kiss it with the hope that will get you through your tomorrows.

     

    You may not feel it today, but I promise you, my love – you’ve got this.

     

    Written by Kathy Parker

    ( with permission)

    Kathy Parker is a Warrior. Dreamer. Creator. Writer. Fighter of all that is beautiful and good. Advocator for the underdog. Truth-teller. Empath. Passionate soul. Lover of land and ocean. Coffee drinker. Gentle spirit. Sensitive soul. Wild heart. Survivor. She is a freelance writer, blogger for HuffPost Australia, and columnist for elephant journal who is currently writing her first manuscript.

    Married to a farmer in the Limestone Coast of South Australia, she is also a mother to four astonishing children.

    Find out more about Kathy at her blog: https://kathyparker.com.au/

  • February 18, 2018
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    People who defend your name when you’re not around are the most loyal friends you could ever get.

  • February 18, 2018
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    If your heart hurts a little after letting go of someone or something, that’s okay. It just means that your feelings were genuine. No one likes ends. And no one likes pain. But sometimes, we have to put things that were once good to an end after they turn toxic to our wellbeing. Not every new beginning is meant to last forever. And not every person who walks into your life is meant to stay.  -Najwa Zebian

  • February 18, 2018
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    Find someone that isn’t afraid to admit they miss you. Someone that knows you’re not perfect but treats you as if you are. Someone who couldn’t imagine losing you. Someone who gives their heart to you completely. Someone who says I love you and proves it. Last but not least, find someone who wouldn’t mind waking up to you in the morning, seeing your wrinkles and grey hair but still falls in love with you all over again.
    ~Unknown

     

  • February 17, 2018
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    “Fall in love with someone who wants you, who waits for you, who understands you. Someone who helps you, and guides you, someone who is your support, your hope. Fall in love with someone who talks with you after a fight. Fall in love with someone who misses you and wants to be with you. Do not fall in love only with a body or with a face; or with the idea of being in love”

    ~Unknown

     

  • February 17, 2018
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    I forgive, but I also learn a lesson. I won’t hate you, but I’ll never get close enough for you to hurt me again. I can’t let my forgiveness become foolishness. ~Tony Gaskins

  • February 17, 2018
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    You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart. Someone who can help you reach your dreams and who can protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws. You should be with someone who can make you happy, really happy, dancing-on-air happy. Someone who should have taken the chance to be with you years ago instead of becoming scared and being too afraid to try.
    Cecelia Ahern

  • February 17, 2018
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    Yes, I’m old school. I have good manners, I show others respect and I will always help those who need me. It’s not because I’m old fashioned, it’s because I was raised properly.

  • February 17, 2018
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    Losing someone who doesn’t respect or appreciate you is actually a gain, not a loss.

  • February 17, 2018
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    Never reply when you’re angry. Never make a promise when you’re happy. Never make a decision when you’re sad.

  • February 16, 2018
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    I’m a strong person but every now and then I would like someone to take my hand and say everything will be alright.

  • February 16, 2018
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    Anyone can give you attention and compliments, but someone who loves you will give you that plus respect, honesty, trust, and loyalty. ~Charles Orlando

  • February 16, 2018
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    Before you start to judge me, step into my shoes and walk the life I’m living and if you get as far as I am, just maybe you will see how strong I really am.

  • February 16, 2018
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    It’s always the broken souls who are always trying to help others.

  • February 16, 2018
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    Never forget the people who take time out of their day to check up on you.

  • February 16, 2018
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    19

    Dear mind, Please stop thinking so much at night. I need to sleep.

  • February 15, 2018
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    When love is real, it doesn’t lie, cheat, pretend, hurt you or make you feel unwanted.

  • February 15, 2018
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    Happiness begins with you. Not with your relationship, your friends, or your job. but with you.”

    ―Mandy Hale

  • February 15, 2018
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    Dear Lord,

    Here is my heart, I’ve broken it You see.

    I tried to fix it as best I could, but it keeps falling apart.

    I shared it with my friends and family, I gave them each a piece.

    Everything was fine until the pieces they held began to break..

    Some of them were lost and some thrown away, a few of the pieces remained intact and were treasured.

    But more still were breaking every day.

    Pieces were returned to me, the carrier with tear stained eyes. “I don’t know what happened”, they would say.

    I would take back the piece knowing we would never be the same. I tried to reconstruct my heart using anything I could – band-aids, tape, ribbon, and even glue – nothing held and I cried.

    As I put the pieces together the cracks spread.. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want the broken bits to break the rest, so I’m giving it back to You Lord, I’m giving You my heart.

    I know You can fix it. You are the One who created it.. I’m not asking You to make it new, I’m merely asking You to make it whole.

    The cracks will help me remember all the pain I’ve gone through.

    The glue holding it together will make those breaks stronger so it won’t break in the same place again.

    It was such a pretty heart, You made it so well.

    I wish I hadn’t broken it, yet the breaks are part of life. For an unbroken heart has never lived, has never loved.

    So Lord, will You please protect my heart? Keep it safe for me? And when the cracks appear, will You please fix them, patch them and I would be so grateful.

    It’s so hard to heal a heart that is your own.

    I’ll be back for it someday when I can find the one who will care for it as You do.

    I thank you Lord for everything You’ve done. For hearing my plea, and for restoring my heart.

    Forever Your Child,

    Amen..

  • February 15, 2018
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    Don’t ever second-guess a strong feeling that you have. Trust your gut.

    — Allison DuBois

  • February 15, 2018
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    The Last Time

    From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,
    you will never be the same.
    You might long for the person you were before,
    When you had freedom and time,
    And nothing in particular to worry about.
    You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,
    And days will run into days that are exactly the same,
    Full of feeding and burping,
    Whining and fighting,
    Naps, or lack of naps. It might seem like a never-ending cycle.
    But don’t forget…
    There is a last time for everything.
    There will come a time when you will feed your baby
    for the very last time.
    They will fall asleep on you after a long day
    And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.
    One day you will carry them on your hip,
    then set them down,
    And never pick them up that way again.
    You will scrub their hair in the bath one night
    And from that day on they will want to bathe alone.
    They will hold your hand to cross the road,
    Then never reach for it again.
    They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,
    And it will be the last night you ever wake for this.
    One afternoon you will sing ‘the wheels on the bus’
    and do all the actions,
    Then you’ll never sing that song again.
    They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,
    the next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.
    You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your
    last dirty face.
    They will one day run to you with arms raised,
    for the very last time.
    The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time
    until there are no more times, and even then,
    it will take you a while to realize.
    So while you are living in these times,
    remember there are only so many of them and
    when they are gone,
    you will yearn for just one more day of them
    For one last time.
    ~~Author unknown~~
  • February 14, 2018
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    I think one of the greatest feelings in the world is when someone openly tells you how much you mean to them. Raw honesty is so rare.

  • February 14, 2018
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    My point is, when you love someone, when you care for someone, you have to do it through the good and the bad. Not just when you’re happy and it’s easy.

    ~Unknown.

  • February 14, 2018
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    I love you today and I’ll love you tomorrow, and the next day and even next week. In 4 months, I will love you, just like I loved you yesterday. 40 years from now, I’ll run my hands through my grey hair and smile at the thought of how much I love you. I just hope you’ll be with me through all that time.

  • February 14, 2018
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    When God gives you a new beginning, it starts with an ending. Be thankful for closed doors. They often guide us to the right one!

  • February 14, 2018
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    Never get too attached to anyone unless they also feel the same towards you, because one sided expectations can mentally destroy you.

  • February 14, 2018
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    If I love you, I won’t give up easily. Leaving is my last option, but if you push me away I will walk away knowing I gave it my all.

  • February 13, 2018
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    Death Changes Everything. Time Changes Nothing. I still miss the sound of your voice, the wisdom in your advice, the stories of your life and just being in your presence. So no, time changes nothing. I still miss you just as much today as I did the day you died. I just miss you.

  • February 13, 2018
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    It’s a hard pill to swallow. But the truth is going to heal your heart a lot faster than simply letting it break over and over until you finally face what you knew all along anyway:

    If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you.

    There are a million possible scenarios here. It’s easier when he’s an asshole – selfish, only thinking of himself, using you to make someone else jealous, using you in general, treating you poorly, crushing you thoughtlessly, whatever. But it’s a lot harder when he’s a good guy, and you still have to let him go. When he tells you that you’re an incredible person, but he just doesn’t feel the same way that you do. Or when he really likes you, but doesn’t think you’re the one. Or when he just doesn’t feel as strongly as you do and he wants to be honest. Or when he can’t seem to make up his mind and feels confused, which he doesn’t yet realize just means that he’s afraid of hurting you, that feeling ‘confused’ just a softer way of eventually saying ‘no.’ If he wanted to be with you, he wouldn’t have had to make up his mind in the first place. It would just be an answer that he felt deeply in his gut.

    But regardless, whether he’s a wonderful guy or an asshole or somewhere in between, this is about you, moving on. Because no matter what the situation was, no matter how well he treated you or how much fun you had together or how well you got along, he doesn’t want to be with you. And that’s the truth. And that’s going to be your life raft for the next several weeks or months, no matter how much you don’t want to grab onto it. It is what is going to eventually help you come to peace with the end of your relationship, or the fizzling out of your fling, or the ‘no more talking’ after you guys spent so much time ‘talking.’ It is the truth, and as ugly as it is, it will be the only thing that can help you move on:

    If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you.

    It’s easy to try to soften the blow. He needs time, or he just needs a little space, or he’s just afraid of commitment and I just need to reassure him, or he builds walls and it’s my job to kick through them.

    But think about the way you feel about him. How easy and natural and obvious it feels. How you don’t even need to question whether or not you should be with him, because it just feels right in your veins. How, even if you were scared of committing to someone or getting hurt or opening yourself up, you were still willing to do it, because your heart had already made up your mind. You wanted to be with him, so you were. The decision was simple. It really wasn’t even a decision at all.

    Now can you imagine feeling all those things but choosing not to be with him anyway?

    That’s why your heart is broken. Because he didn’t feel those things. He didn’t feel that same certainty that you did, deep in your bones. And you can’t change that, and you can’t fix yourself, and there’s nothing you did wrong. It’s just the truth. His heart didn’t make the decision for his brain, because his heart is in a different place from yours. And that really, really sucks. And you just have to accept it. And that sucks even more.

    Maybe you’ll get over this in weeks, maybe months. Maybe longer. It will hurt, some days will be horrible and some will be okay. But the smallest of silver linings is this: you can let your heart break once – instead of breaking it a million times by convincing yourself that he’s making a mistake or he probably misses you or you should call him. Love yourself enough to be hard on yourself:

    If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you.

    Written by Kim Quindlen (with permission)

    This article was originally published in thoughtcatalog.com

  • February 2, 2018
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    Love a soft Person.

    Love a soft person. The kind whose heart breaks over puppies and injured children. Someone who cries over sad endings to movies and feels deep joy over happy ones. Someone who kisses your soul instead of your heart because they know that your soul is where you keep your universe and your heart is just one star. The sort of person who is told they are over-sensitive because they have a more fragile, easily wounded heart. (Yet soft people will always find a reason to smile, no matter how unhappy things are.)

    Love a soft person. A human being who always has a kind smile for everyone, even when they do not get a smile back in return. Someone whose heart breaks over the condition of this world. Someone who always has a gentle word for those who have received the worst news they could in that moment. A man or a woman who cannot look at someone suffering and do nothing to help out. (You see, soft people will never stand for injustice in front of them and let it go when someone is hurting or injured.)

    Love a soft person. The ones who are positive, even in the worst of circumstances. Someone whose strength is not in bravado, but in their quiet. Someone who is strong for others because that is what is needed in that moment. Someone who is the moon that soothes instead of the sun that burns. Someone who sees the very best in people even when you think they aren’t worth it. The kind of person who always wants to do the best for those they love. (Because soft people cannot stand the idea of hurting someone that has bestowed upon them their trust.)

    Love a soft person. The kind who looks at someone who is struggling, whether it is to open a door, or have lost their keys and will do everything they can to help out. Someone who would rather suffer themselves than let anyone else down. Someone who tries, not because it is what they have to do, but because they want to do the best by you. A human being that is always willing to communicate and talk things through. (The softest people will always ask twice if you are okay, when you say you are, because they can read moods and understand when you need someone who just listens to you.)

    Protect a soft person. These kind of people are becoming endangered with words like ‘toughen up’ and ‘you’re so naïve’ and ‘they’re going to take advantage of you’. Someone who you can see is trying despite being broken themselves. Someone who is an easy target for ridicule because their heart is softer than most others around. Someone who is quick to apologize and fix things regardless of blame or fault. (Soft people need protection not because they are weak but because they have been broken brutally by those they have trusted with their hearts.)

    Be a soft person. Be a cushion in a world full of rocks and hard places. Be a gentle soul where everyone else is jaded. Be that person. Because people like that are rarer and more precious than the rarest of jewels in this world.

    Written by Nikita Gill

  • February 1, 2018
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    This is What You Need to Remember When They Choose Not to Forgive You.

    There are times we hurt others. Whether purposefully or inadvertently, it makes little difference. We have still damaged another through our own actions, and so we seek to make that right. It hurts us to know we have hurt another; we ask forgiveness and seek restoration in the hope to receive grace from those we have wronged.

     

    We hope for the best outcome. We hope for what we perceive as fair.

     

    Sometimes though, we don’t receive forgiveness, no matter how sorry we are. No matter how much we try and make it right. And it’s hard to accept, it’s hard to let go of the injustice we feel at not being granted the forgiveness we had so hoped for.

     

    But this is what we need to remember.

     

    Their forgiveness isn’t your responsibility.

     

    Your responsibility is this: To admit your mistakes. To own your actions. To seek forgiveness. To make right the things you can. To let go of the things you can’t. To learn, to grow, to recognise behaviours in you that have hurt others and change them. To mindfully choose to be a better person, and take necessary action required for that to happen.

     

    But their forgiveness isn’t your responsibility.

     

    We don’t get to control the way others think of us or what they choose to believe about us. We can stand before them with our heart in our hands and ask them to see it – to see us – for who we are and not for what we’ve done. But we can’t make someone forgive us who is determined to only believe the worst of us. Who is determined to hold tight to their judgement, their bitterness, their animosity.  

     

    This is a hard lesson for people like us to learn.

     

    People like us, who believe in forgiveness. Who give second chances. Who understand the human condition, the way we fail and fall. Who choose to believe people are good, and that until we have walked a mile in their shoes, we will never fully understand the choices they have made. Nor the mistakes they have made, and why they have made them.

     

    We are people who believe mercy triumphs over judgement, and we choose to love others with grace and with second chances, understanding the frailty of our own humanity. And it can be hard to accept there are people who don’t live like this, who don’t love like this.  

     

    But what matters is these people aren’t our judges, nor are they our jury. We don’t belong in their courtroom.

     

    What they choose to believe about us is their choice, and who we are isn’t dictated by who they try and make us believe we are.

     

    When we have taken responsibility for our actions, when we have owned our wrongs and sought to make them right, when we have asked forgiveness and reached for reconciliation, then we have done all we need to do. We are no longer bound by their unforgiveness but can walk away knowing we are worthy of our own grace, even when they are unwilling to extend theirs.

     

    What others choose to believe of us is not the truth. It is only their opinion. Only their judgement. Only the evidence of their unenlightened heart.

     

    Their forgiveness isn’t your responsibility.

     

    We don’t always get the outcome we hope for.

     

    But when we have done all we can do, it’s no longer our burden to carry. Just because someone isn’t willing to forgive us, it doesn’t make us unforgivable. Unshackled from the chains of their unforgiveness, we can now run free under skies of grace and redemption.

     

    We can now rise strong.

    Written by Kathy Parker

    ( with permission)

    Kathy Parker is a Warrior. Dreamer. Creator. Writer. Fighter of all that is beautiful and good. Advocator for the underdog. Truth-teller. Empath. Passionate soul. Lover of land and ocean. Coffee drinker. Gentle spirit. Sensitive soul. Wild heart. Survivor. She is a freelance writer, blogger for HuffPost Australia, and columnist for elephant journal who is currently writing her first manuscript.

    Married to a farmer in the Limestone Coast of South Australia, she is also a mother to four astonishing children.

    Find out more about Kathy at her blog: https://kathyparker.com.au/