To encourage you to keep going.
To remind you to be strong.

Archive for January, 2018

  • January 31, 2018
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    When What Comes to Break Us, Actually Saves Us.

     

    You were left so shattered by him; the way he tore in like a hurricane and ripped everything from you –  your heart, your worth, your confidence, your hope.

     

    You wondered how you would piece yourself together again when only broken remains lay your feet. Dazed, you picked them up, examined them, tried to place them side by side and make them fit. But they no longer did. Who you used to be was nowhere to be found in the wreckage he left behind; the only thing left was the grief over everything you had lost, everything he had taken from you, everything you once were and would never be again.

     

    Through tears and regrets your weak hands fumbled in the mess that surrounded you; here and there you would pick up what few pieces you could find and hold them close to your chest until you eventually had enough to rebuild something of the life you once had.

     

    You placed the pieces before you and stared at the chaos, defeated.

     

    But soon, you began to notice the way the haphazard curves of the lines no longer looked amiss, but instead, wild and untamed. The way the colours and patterns came together not in a mess of confusion, but in a mosaic of abstract beauty. The way the cracks and flaws seemed less like weakness, and more like art; profound and perfect in their own right.

     

    Filled with hope, you continued to dig through the remains, only using the best pieces to rebuild with; the pieces that were strong and resilient and beautiful and brave. Pieces you had once loved, but that had been lost and discarded by his careless hands.

     

    Most importantly, pieces that carried no remnant of him.  

     

    You built until you were whole again; stronger than you had ever been, put back together with courage and resilience and worth and strength and the wisdom of one who has survived the storm.

     

    From the brokenness came something new.

     

    This is what we learn from those who break us.  

     

    That after the destruction, there is always the transformation.

     

    And one day, my love, you will come to understand the beauty of a hurricane.

     

    That sometimes what comes to break us, is actually what saves us.

     

    Written by Kathy Parker

    ( with permission)

    Find out more about Kathy at her blog: https://kathyparker.com.au/

     

  • January 31, 2018
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    Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

  • January 30, 2018
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    Dear Mother Who is Struggling,  

     

    I know you haven’t been yourself lately.

     

    I see it in the way your eyes no longer carry the light the way they used to, their colour faded; like an old photograph that once held a cherished memory, now lost.

     

    Your frown lines have deepened, they outnumber the lines of laughter that once etched the sides of your face, back when your joyful smile would reach that far, back when your shoulders were straight and the weight of your tiredness didn’t pull you down.

     

    You love your babies, I know you do.

     

    But this is hard.

     

    And you are tired. So damn tired.

     

    And maybe this is what adds to the tiredness; the guilt that you shouldn’t feel this way. You wonder if you’re the only mother out there who feels so isolated, so alone, so exhausted. Or do they all have these villages you hear of; support networks of family and friends who share the burden of raising a family, while you wake up each morning and wonder how you will get through another day on your own?

     

    There was a world you used to belong to, and you grieve it. It’s there in front of you, every day, on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter – there, in the radiant faces of other women as they go about their social lives, their holidays, gym classes, dates, promotions. You wonder how, in a world so connected by social media, you are left feeling so goddamn disconnected from it all.

     

    Surrounded by little people, noise, clutter, you find yourself lonelier than ever. But it’s not a loneliness from being alone. It’s a loneliness that comes from being so far from yourself, so far from who you once were. You don’t even know who that is anymore. You feel as though you’ve traded your whole identity to be a mother. Sacrificed your entire life to care for those around you. This is all you know now. This is all your life has become.

     

    And you miss the woman you once were, and the life you once had.

     

    You long for your independence, your spontaneity, your carefree. For road trips and dinner dates and live music and nights out in the city. For beach days and lazy Sundays in bed and to read a book, uninterrupted. Drained, you yearn for the things that bring nurture to your tired body and soul as you force yourself through another day on the scarce remnants of what you have left to give.

     

    Around you, other mothers appear cool, unflustered; they’ve got this. You wonder if they catch a glimpse of the defeat in your eyes before you look the other way, if they can sense the effort it takes to simply place one foot in front of the other.  

     

    I know this is hard. But take heart, dear one.

     

    It won’t always be this way. It won’t always be so hard. Days will get easier. There will be more moments to be still, to breathe, more moments to laugh again. There will be more moments where you can reach inside and find the misplaced pieces of the woman you used to be, and the days will begin to feel less lonely as you journey back to your own heart.  

     

    I know you think the way you struggle makes you a failure. That because of this, you fall short and aren’t enough. Don’t believe these lies. Be gentle on your heart, for every day you face the hardest job, alone, and you make it through. No matter how hard, you don’t give up. You show up, and continue to do the best with what you have. And some days that may not seem like enough.

     

    But every day, you continue to love.

     

    And that will always be more than enough.

     

    I know this is hard. But for now, this is all you need to know.

     

    This too shall pass.  

     

    And when you close your eyes tonight, write those words on the back of your eyelids, and watch as they fall away beneath your skin and seep into your bloodstream where they will reach your heart and kiss it with the hope that will get you through your tomorrows.

     

    You may not feel it today, but I promise you, my love – you’ve got this.

     

    Written by Kathy Parker

    ( with permission)

    Kathy Parker is a Warrior. Dreamer. Creator. Writer. Fighter of all that is beautiful and good. Advocator for the underdog. Truth-teller. Empath. Passionate soul. Lover of land and ocean. Coffee drinker. Gentle spirit. Sensitive soul. Wild heart. Survivor. She is a freelance writer, blogger for HuffPost Australia, and columnist for elephant journal who is currently writing her first manuscript.

    Married to a farmer in the Limestone Coast of South Australia, she is also a mother to four astonishing children.

    Find out more about Kathy at her blog: https://kathyparker.com.au/

     

  • January 28, 2018
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    You can’t keep a good woman down. She can be cheated on. Lied to. Taken advantage of.. by every man she’s ever loved. Yet she’s the one they miss in the end. She’s the one they swear over- for letting go. She’s the one that haunts their thoughts. She’s the one that’s gathered all her dignity from their misuse and went on to love again. She rises like a Phoenix after betrayal- and damn she lights up the sky.

    Alfa C

  • January 25, 2018
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    8
    I thought it would be painful, letting you go.

    I thought I would suffer, that my heart would be anguished with the loss of you. Or worse, maybe it would stop beating altogether.

    Maybe without you, I would simply cease to exist.

    I thought I would become adrift, for you had been the anchor I had formed my identity upon, the compass I had relied on for my direction. I thought without you I would become lost, disoriented.

    I had expected to taste salty tears as they fell upon lips that once spoke so fondly of you; that my head would lay on my pillow damp with tears for as many nights as the moon continued to kiss the stars.

    But one day, I just knew.

    I hadn’t expected such a feeling of relief as I cut the ropes that once shackled me to you. One instant of tremendous clarity. One instant, where I finally knew.

    I no longer needed you.

    I no longer needed your opinion of me, your affirmation, your approval.

    I no longer needed your judgments, your criticisms, your condemnations.

    I no longer needed your expectations I could never meet; your hoops too high to jump through, your goal posts that shifted with every changing breeze.

    I no longer needed your blame, your excuses, your justifications.

    I no longer needed your pseudo love, fraught with conditions and attached with strings.

    I thought I needed you. I didn’t.

    I thought it would be hard to let you go. It wasn’t.

    I thought I would miss you. I don’t.

    For in one instant my heart was awakened to the truth of who I am.

    I am more than the lies you made believe about myself. I am more than the look of failure in your eyes when I fell short of your demands. I am more than how worthless you made me feel. I am more than the ways you tried to break me.

    I am a warrior, sculpted by the hands of creation, fashioned into being by the very hands that created the oceans and the stars and the mountains and air.

    I am strong, I am brave, I am wise. I am gentle of spirit with the heart of a lioness.

    I am creative, passionate, sensitive, and kind. I am of open heart and open mind. I am powerful, generous, thoughtful, daring, empathetic, raw, complex, courageous, understanding, forgiving.

    I am everything you are not.

    I will no longer carry the shame you made me suffer under the weight of.

    That shame belongs to you.

    And I will no longer carry my hate for you.

    For that will only ever bind me to your darkness and give you permission to destroy my light. It will allow you to stay within me, to destroy my peace, to blacken my heart with the malice that lives within you.

    It will tie me to your soul-destroying bitterness, your ugliness.

    It will anchor me once more to you, who tried to drown me.

    Instead, I will choose to go into the world and love more fiercely, show more compassion, be more generous, offer more kindness.

    I will choose to forgive. For me, not for you.

    I will choose to sow what I wish to see reaped for my children’s future.

    I will choose to dis-empower hate.

    I will choose freedom.

    I will choose love.

    I will stand firm upon the unshakeable truth of who I am.

    And I will soar to heights you will only ever dream of.

    For I have let you go.

    No longer am I held down by all I allowed you to be in my life.

    I no longer need you.

    I am free.

    Written by Kathy Parker

    ( with permission)

    Kathy Parker is a Warrior. Dreamer. Creator. Writer. Fighter of all that is beautiful and good. Advocator for the underdog. Truth-teller. Empath. Passionate soul. Lover of land and ocean. Coffee drinker. Gentle spirit. Sensitive soul. Wild heart. Survivor. She is a freelance writer, blogger for HuffPost Australia, and columnist for elephant journal who is currently writing her first manuscript.

    Married to a farmer in the Limestone Coast of South Australia, she is also a mother to four astonishing children.

    Find out more about Kathy at her blog: https://kathyparker.com.au/

  • January 25, 2018
    2
    32

    The more chances you give someone the less respect they’ll start to have for you. They’ll begin to ignore the standards that you’ve set because they’ll know another chance will always be given. They’re not afraid to lose you because they know no matter what you won’t walk away. They get comfortable with depending on your forgiveness. Never let a person get comfortable disrespecting you.
    ~Trent Shelton

  • January 25, 2018
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    Listen to your heart; start recognizing when something isn’t good for you and be strong enough to let it go. A person can only waste the time you give them an opportunity to waste. Stop trying to open doors for people who constantly shut you out. Make sure the interest is shown in the effort, the talk is supported by the actions, and the trust is earned through the consistency.
    ~RobertHillSr.

  • January 24, 2018
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    “I love you” means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. “I love you” means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me. ~ Jonathan Safran Foer

  • January 24, 2018
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    “Fall in love with someone who wants you, who waits for you, who understands you. Someone who helps you, and guides you, someone who is your support, your hope. Fall in love with someone who talks with you after a fight. Fall in love with someone who misses you and wants to be with you. Do not fall in love only with a body or with a face; or with the idea of being in love”

    ~Unknown

  • January 23, 2018
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    Don’t let anyone bring you down so low as to hate them. Release them from the hold they have on you and continue on with peace in your heart. Life is short and is not worth wasting your time trying to figure people out or prove anything to them. The only person you have to prove anything to is yourself. Strive to be the best person you can possibly be, be strong, and walk away. Holding on to bitterness and anger will only hinder your happiness. Your life is much too precious to spend another minute worrying about someone that doesn’t bring you happiness. Say goodbye and wish them well. After all, they’ve made you a stronger person. They’ll see the light someday.

  • January 22, 2018
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    16

    Fall in love with your best friend. Someone you can talk to about anything and know they’ll hold no judgement. Someone who knows the darkest parts of you and loves you anyway, that knows all your flaws and loves you not in spite of them but because of them. Not someone that you can’t live without, but someone that you don’t want to live without. Someone that you want to experience all of life’s ups and downs with. Someone who will hold your hand through the worst times of your life. When they see you at your worst, when you’re broken, and they don’t run away but help you put the pieces back together. Now that’s real love.

    ~unknown

  • January 19, 2018
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    When I give, it does not come with strings. I’m not keeping track of what you owe me. When I give, I choose to do so without ulterior motives. I give because I’m genuine. I give because I know what it’s like to be without, to long for and be ignored, to speak and not be heard, to care for and have nothing returned. When I give it’s because I get it. It’s because I know the value in what I have in my heart and I refuse to let the world stop me from sharing that. But when things start being taken for granted. When you no longer appreciate my sincerity. I won’t switch, I won’t get angry, and I won’t be spiteful. I’ll just get smart and I’ll change your role in my life. Because when I give, I’m all in. But when I’m done, there’s no looking back. — Robert Hill Sr.

  • January 19, 2018
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    One morning she woke up different. Done with trying to figure out who was with her, against her, or walking down the middle because they didn’t have the guts to pick a side. She was done with anything that didn’t bring her peace. She realized that opinions were a dime a dozen, validation was for parking, and loyalty wasn’t a word but a lifestyle. It was this day that her life changed. And not because of a man or a job but because she realized that life is way too short to leave the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket.

  • January 18, 2018
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    “And kid, you’ve got to love yourself. You’ve got wake up at four in the morning, brew black coffee, and stare at the birds drowning in the darkness of the dawn. You’ve got to sit next to the man at the train station who’s reading your favorite book and start a conversation. You’ve got to come home after a bad day and burn your skin from a shower. Then you’ve got to wash all your sheets until they smell of lemon detergent you bought for four dollars at the local grocery store. You’ve got to stop taking everything so goddam personally. You are not the moon kissing the black sky. You’ve got to compliment someones crooked brows at an art fair and tell them that their eyes remind you of green swimming pools in mid July. You’ve got to stop letting yourself get upset about things that won’t matter in two years. Sleep in on Saturday mornings and wake yourself up early on Sunday. You’ve got to stop worrying about what you’re going to tell her when she finds out. You’ve got to stop over thinking why he stopped caring about you over six months ago. You’ve got to stop asking everyone for their opinions. Fuck it. Love yourself, kiddo. You’ve got to love yourself.”— Unknown

  • January 17, 2018
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    Fall in love with your best friend. Someone you can talk to about anything and know they’ll hold no judgement. Someone who knows the darkest parts of you and loves you anyway, that knows all your flaws and loves you not in spite of them but because of them. Not someone that you can’t live without, but someone that you don’t want to live without. Someone that you want to experience all of life’s ups and downs with. Someone who will hold your hand through the worst times of your life. When they see you at your worst, when you’re broken, and they don’t run away but help you put the pieces back together. That is true love.
    ~Unknown.

  • January 17, 2018
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    31

    I am no longer in the business of giving people chance after chance after chance. We’re both adults and we both know the difference between right and wrong at this point. Mistakes happen, of course, but when those mistakes become repetitive, you can’t call them mistakes anymore- now they’re choices. Your choices. So no, I am no longer in the business of giving people chance after chance after chance.

    CiCi. B

  • January 16, 2018
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    31
    One day, many years from now when you realize what you’ve lost – you will search for me. 
Perhaps you’ll email me but there’ll be no reply; or maybe you’ll call my number but it will have changed…. And when you give up trying to find me physically, you’ll search for me emotionally. 
You’ll try to find someone else who will love you like I did or make you laugh as much as I used to … but you’ll soon realize there’s nobody else quite like me… I was unique… I was the one for you – and you lost me. And you will try so desperately to find traces of me in every soul you meet for the rest of your days ….but you will never ever find me.
    Ranata Suzuki
  • January 16, 2018
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    “Most of my life has been spent trying to shrink myself. Trying to become smaller. Quieter. Less sensitive. Less opinionated. Less needy. Because I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want to be too much or push people away. I wanted people to like me. I wanted to be cared for and valued. I wanted to be wanted. So for years, I sacrificed myself for the sake of making other people happy. And for years, I suffered. But I’m tired of suffering, and I’m done shrinking. It’s not my job to change who I am in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being. I am worthwhile. Not because other people think I am, but because I exist, and therefore I matter. My thoughts matter. My feelings matter. My voice matters. And with or without anyone’s permission or approval, I will continue to be who I am and speak my truth. Even if it makes people angry. Even if it makes them uncomfortable. Even if they choose to leave. I refuse to shrink. I choose to take up space. I choose honor my feelings. I choose to give myself permission to get my needs met. I choose me”
    ~Daniel Keopke.

  • January 15, 2018
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    Find someone that isn’t afraid to admit they miss you. Someone that knows you’re not perfect but treats you as if you are. Someone who couldn’t imagine losing you. Someone who gives their heart to you completely. Someone who says I love you and proves it. Last but not least, find someone who wouldn’t mind waking up to you in the morning, seeing your wrinkles and grey hair but still falls in love with you all over again.
    ~Unknown

  • January 14, 2018
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    Fall in love with someone who loves the way you laugh and would do absolutely anything to hear it. Fall in love with someone who puts their head on your chest just to hear your heart beat. Fall in love with someone who kisses you in public and is proud to show you off to anyone they know. Fall in love with someone who would never ever want to hurt you. Fall in love with someone who falls in love with your flaws and thinks you are perfect just the way you are. Fall in love with someone who knows that you are the ONE they would love to wake up to each day.

  • January 14, 2018
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    Find someone that isn’t afraid to admit they miss you. Someone that knows you’re not perfect but treats you as if you are. Someone who couldn’t imagine losing you. Someone who gives their heart to you completely. Someone who says I love you and proves it. Last but not least, find someone who wouldn’t mind waking up to you in the morning, seeing your wrinkles and grey hair but still falls in love with you all over again.
    ~Unknown

  • January 14, 2018
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    Dear Man Who Loves The Woman Who Has Been To Hell and Back,

    Last year I published the article, How To Love A Woman Who Has Been To Hell and Back. This article has since been republished on more websites than I could even tell you. It has been shared hundreds of thousands of times all around the world, and has received millions of views. I can’t tell you how many hundreds of messages I’ve received from women who have thanked me for giving them the words they could never say.

    But in the last while, my inbox has also been filled with messages from men such as you. Men who are trying to love the woman who has been to hell and back, but are struggling. Men who are doing the best they can, but are hurting. Men who are trying to understand more, do better, love harder, but aren’t sure if it’s worth the pain and exhaustion. Men who are confused, unsure, lost, and in need of answers.

    Dear man, the fact that you love your woman so much that you are willing to read an article to understand her more is a truly wonderful thing. That you would message me in the hope of knowing how to love her better is admirable. Men like you are rare, precious, and so appreciated. The world needs more men like you. Men who are strong, brave, resilient, determined, loyal, and willing to love at a high cost because you understand the worth of the woman you hold in your arms. You are a testament to the masculine heart that encompasses both strength and gentleness, fierceness and kindness. Hearts like yours are worthy of respect, and I give thanks that you have chosen to love the woman in your life with such determination, commitment and resolve.

    I understand how hard it is to love a woman who has been to hell and back.

    Because the thing is, this woman carries in her heart a lifetime of pain that you didn’t cause. You didn’t inflict this pain on her. You didn’t hurt her. You didn’t damage her heart. You aren’t the reason she cannot fully love or trust.

    But you are the one she pushes away. You are the one who tries to get close to her, to love her, but fails. You are the one she won’t turn to when she’s in pain, the one she won’t talk to when she feels alone, the one she won’t draw near to when she needs someone the most.

    You are the one she hurts, because she is hurting.

    And you don’t deserve that.

    I know what that does to your heart. I know of the times you are so damn frustrated at not knowing what to do. I know you feel like no matter how much you love her, it will never be enough. I know you are exhausted at times, and are not sure how much more you can take of this storm. I know you feel confused and sometimes none of it makes sense and you lay awake at night and wonder if it’s worth it.

    But the thing is, you’re still there.

    You’re still there because something tells you this is worth it.

    It’s difficult for me to tell you how to best love the woman who has been to hell and back. No situation is ever the same, and I have not the mind and heart of a man in your shoes.

    But this is what I can tell you.

    My original article was not written to condone abuse of any kind. Our society is vocal when it comes to domestic violence where women are the victims, but far less vocal to speak of men who are abused by women. It’s real, and it happens, and I understand how my article may have been interpreted in this respect and how that may have confused and upset you. But abuse is never okay, no matter from a man to a woman, or a woman to a man.

    There is a difference between a woman who is hurting and inadvertently hurts others as she works through her pain, and a woman who justifies hurting others because she has been hurt, so that makes it okay. There is a difference between a woman who is willing to acknowledge that she has hurt others, who seeks forgiveness and redemption, and who strives to do better, and a woman who plays the victim card, blames others, and does not seek to change her ways but expects others to be her punching bag. There is a difference between a woman who struggles to love but does her best to give all she can to the relationship, and one who merely expects, takes, and gives nothing in return.

    I know sometimes the lines can seem blurred, and because of this you struggle to know whether to stay or leave. But you are not obligated or responsible to stay there in the face of abuse. You must still, always, protect your heart. The woman who has been to hell and back needs to be responsible for her own healing. It’s not an easy journey, nor a fast one. There are many hard days, many times she will get stuck and not know the way forward. But the important thing to consider is that she is trying – for herself, for you, for your relationship.

    No-one can tell you whether to stay or leave, only you can determine what you see in her heart, whether you see growth and change and promise, or whether you merely feel like her doormat. To love a woman who has been to hell and back is not easy. But it should never mean abuse, lack of respect, lack of boundaries, or that you become a scapegoat for someone who is unwilling to heal. This is something you must be able to understand the difference between in order to answer the question of whether you should stay or leave.

    I can tell you that you are not responsible for fixing her, nor does she want you to. Men are fixers, and I understand it’s in your nature to want to make this better; make her better. But this is her journey. This is her pain. Her healing will not be pretty. At times she will be the hurricane and you will need to be the storm shelter – let her rage, let her anger and her fury and her pain unleash from her heart, let the weight of the trauma she has stored in her body for so many years come undone. Don’t fight it, don’t stop it, don’t fix it. Just be that safe place for her to come home to when the storm ends and the tears begin. You cannot fix her, you can only love her.

    I can tell you the woman who has been to hell and back has a story written on her heart. A story which says everyone who should have protected her, didn’t. Everyone she trusted, hurt her. Everyone she loved, left her. She waits for you to continue the story, to be the next person to reject her, abandon her, hurt her. She expects it. She thinks it’s only a matter of time. And this is why she pushes you away, hurts you, leaves you, when you have only ever loved her. She doesn’t believe she is worthy of a love like yours, and believes it’s only a matter of time until you realise this too.

    You asked me what it means to love harder.

    It means you will need to be better than anyone else at love. It means you will need to love with more strength, more patience, more grace, more determination, more understanding, more perseverance. It means you will need to love her more than anyone else has before or will again. It means you will need to love her until she understands what love is, and believes in a love she’s never known.

    It means you will need to love her hard enough to be the one to re-write the story on her heart.

    But dear man, you wouldn’t be reading this if you weren’t everything she needs, and didn’t have everything it takes, to love the woman who has been to hell and back.

    Author: Kathy Parker

    (With permission)

    Please check out Kathy’s blog at : https://kathyparker.com.au/

  • January 13, 2018
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    The woman who has been to hell and back is not easy to love.

    Many have tried. Most have failed.

    The weak need not attempt, for it will take more strength than you even know you possess; more patience, more resilience, more tenacity, more resolve. It requires a relentless love, one that is determined and not easily defeated.

    For the woman who has been to hell and back will push you away. She will test you in her desire to know what you are made of, whether you have what it takes to weather her storm. Because she is unpredictable—at times a hurricane, a force of nature that rides on the fury of her suffering; other times a gentle rain, calm, still and quiet.

    When she is the gentle rain that falls in time to her silent tears, love her.

    When she is the thunder and lightning and ferocious winds that wreak havoc, love her harder.

    She is a contradiction, a pendulum that will forever swing between fear of suffocation and fear of abandonment, and even she will not know how to find the balance between the two. Because today, although she will never tell you, she will feel insecure. She will want you to stay close, to tuck her hair behind her ear and kiss her on her forehead and hold her in the strength of your arms. But tomorrow she will crave her independence, her space, her solitude.

    For while you have slept, she has been awake, unable to slow her thoughts, watching clocks and chasing time, trying to make the broken pieces fit, to make sense of it all—of where and how she fits. She fights her demons and slays her dragons, afraid if she goes to sleep they will gain the upper hand, afraid if she goes to sleep she will no longer be in control. Tomorrow she will be tired, and your presence will smother her. She will need only herself.

    When she reaches out to you, love her.

    When she pushes you away, lover her harder.

    New situations and places and people and experiences will make her anxious. She will be fiercely independent and long to overcome her fears, all the while as terrified as a small child alone in the big world. Sometimes she will need to be courageous, to prove to herself she has what it takes. Other times she will need you to take her hand and hold it firmly in yours. Sometimes she may not know what she needs, and you will need to read her like a book with worn pages and a tattered spine and be what she needs when she does not know herself.

    When she is brave and steps into the world on her own, love her.

    When she is scared, but refuses to take your hand, love her harder.

    She will live in fear of not being enough and always being too much—an endless battle to find the middle ground. Ashamed if the scale falls one way or the other, ashamed to be herself for no one has ever loved her both when she is small and also when she is tremendous.

    When she feels too much, love her.

    When she feels not enough, love her harder.

    Sometimes she won’t hurt and the light will shine from her eyes and her laughter will be a rare and precious melody. But sometimes she will hurt so much from the trauma still in her body; she will ache, she will feel pain and anguish. The light will grow dim and the music will fade.

    When she is the light, love her.

    When she is the darkness, love her harder.

    She will always love you with caution, with one foot out the door. For she does not understand a love with no conditions, one that is powerful enough to withstand hard times. She cannot allow herself to fully trust in your love, and she will keep parts of her heart hidden—the parts that have been hurt the most, the parts she can’t risk being hurt again when she has worked so hard to stitch them together.

    She will always watch, wait and expect you to leave first. And when you don’t, she has a truth written upon her heart that says you will—it’s only a matter of time, for everyone who loves her leaves her. And so she will seek to sabotage the relationship; she will seek to destroy it, she will seek to leave first, she will seek to hurt you before you can hurt her. This is how she stays in control, this is how she survives, how she will ensure she will not get hurt again.

    When she wants to love you, love her.

    When she wants to hurt you, love her harder.

    The woman who has been to hell and back is not easy to love.

    Many have tried. Most have failed.

    The weak need not attempt, for it will take more strength than you even know you possess; more patience, more resilience, more tenacity, more resolve. It requires a relentless love, one that is determined and not easily defeated.

    For the woman who has been to hell and back will push you away. She will test you in her desire to know what you are made of, whether you have what it takes to weather her storm. Because she is unpredictable—at times a hurricane, a force of nature that rides on the fury of her suffering; other times a gentle rain, calm, still and quiet.

    When she is the gentle rain that falls in time to her silent tears, love her.
    When she is the thunder and lightning and ferocious winds that wreak havoc, love her harder.
    She is a contradiction, a pendulum that will forever swing between fear of suffocation and fear of abandonment, and even she will not know how to find the balance between the two. Because today, although she will never tell you, she will feel insecure. She will want you to stay close, to tuck her hair behind her ear and kiss her on her forehead and hold her in the strength of your arms. But tomorrow she will crave her independence, her space, her solitude.
    Being out of control terrifies her. Don’t ever make her feel powerless, trapped or without her

    freedom. She needs to dance barefoot under enormous blue skies, to feel sand between her toes, to run with wolves as the wind weaves magic through her hair, for here is where her healing is found. Never clip her wings, for if she has the freedom to fly, she will always come back to you.
    Love her when it’s easy, and love her harder when it’s not.

    Love her in a way that will defy all she has ever known love to be.

    Love her because you understand with every fiber of your soul the gift of her love, what it has cost her to offer you her fragile heart.

    She does not need you. She has chosen you.

    Because you have what it takes to survive the storm.

    Because even when she doesn’t know how to love, you know how to love harder.
    Author: Kathy Parker

    (With permission)

    Please check out Kathy’s blog at : https://kathyparker.com.au/

  • January 11, 2018
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    I have loved. I have lost and I have changed. It has been difficult but I have learned so much from it. I have learned that people can hurt you so deeply and not even worry about you. I learned that good people can change in a minute when their hearts have been broken. I’ve met great people, but mean people as well. But the most important thing I have learned is that every person in this world is strong enough to let go . People come and go and that’s life ! The most important thing is to stand up and realize that you deserve something better than a person who gives up on you.
    ~Unknown

  • January 11, 2018
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    6

    I do not help my wife.

    A friend came to my house for coffee, we sat and talked about life. At some point in the conversation, I said, “I’m going to wash the dishes and I’ll be right back.”

    He looked at me as if I had told him I was going to build a space rocket. Then he said to me with admiration but a little perplexed: “I’m glad you help your wife, I do not help because when I do, my wife does not praise me. Last week I washed the floor and no thanks.”

    I went back to sit with him and explained that I did not “help” my wife. Actually, my wife does not need help, she needs a partner. I am a partner at home and through that society are divided functions, but it is not a “help” to do household chores.

    I do not help my wife clean the house because I live here too and I need to clean it too.

    I do not help my wife to cook because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.

    I do not help my wife wash the dishes after eating because I also use those dishes.

    I do not help my wife with her children because they are also my children and my job is to be a father.

    I do not help my wife to wash, spread or fold clothes, because the clothes are also mine and my children.

    I am not a help at home, I am part of the house. And as for praising, I asked my friend when it was the last time after his wife finished cleaning the house, washing clothes, changing bed sheets, bathing her children, cooking, organizing, etc. You said thank you

    But a thank you of the type: Wow, sweetheart !!! You are fantastic!!!

    Does that seem absurd to you? Are you looking strange? When you, once in a lifetime, cleaned the floor, you expected in the least, a prize of excellence with great glory … why? You never thought about that, my friend?

    Maybe because for you, the macho culture has shown that everything is her job.

    Perhaps you have been taught that all this must be done without having to move a finger? Then praise her as you wanted to be praised, in the same way, with the same intensity. Give her a hand, behave like a true companion, not as a guest who only comes to eat, sleep, bathe and satisfy needs … Feel at home. In his house.

    The real change of our society begins in our homes, let us teach our sons and daughters the real sense of fellowship! ”

    -unknown

  • January 10, 2018
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    8
    WHEN I CHOSE TO LET YOU GO.

    When I chose to let you go, there was no great moment of triumph.
    There wasn’t an earth-shattering epiphany that changed my life, where music played and the universe conspired to bring everything together for good.

    There was no conflict, no turmoil and no struggle. No internal argument. No weighing of pros and cons. No decision to be analyzed to death—even by me, who cannot make a decision without weeks of obsessive thought over every possible outcome.

    There were only two words, when I chose to let you go:

    No more.

    No more will I measure my worth against your opinion. No more will I be pressed into the shapes you carved for me. No more will I tell my heart to quiet down, ashamed of its clatter. No more will there be blood on my feet from the eggshells I walked on as I tried not to give cause for your disapproval.

    No more will I anguish over the ways you misunderstood me. No more will I fight to justify the intention of my heart. No more will I beg for you to see me, the real me—to know me, to love me.

    No more will I live my life for you.

    When I chose to let you go, there was no holy encounter. The stars did not collapse from the sky and cascade into the oceans. There was no ferocious wind that rattled the walls or blazing fire that consumed all within its destructive path.

    There was only quiet resolution, the silent death of leaves that drift to the ground as frost begins to waste them away.
    And there I found myself, in the barren ground where you once stood; I came to understand there must be winter.

    Winter in all its loss, its grief, its letting go.
    There must be a time for old things to die, that new things may be born.

    When I chose to let you go, it was for me.

    I learned to love myself even when you made me feel I deserved no love. To honor my own needs, my own heart and my own potential. To walk my own path, not yours. To not be pulled back into your confines while my spirit yearned to be free.

    When I chose to let you go, I made coffee, ate toast, and folded clothes. I went to yoga and collected my mail and paid my bills. There was nothing out of place on the outside of my ordinary life—no visible change, nothing new or different.

    There was only surrender.

    One moment.

    One breath.

    I chose to let you go.

    And in doing so, I chose me.

    By Kathy Parker
    (with permission)

    Please check out Kathy’s blog at : https://kathyparker.com.au/

  • January 10, 2018
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    “Surround yourself with people who make you happy. People who make you laugh, who help you when you’re in need. People who genuinely care. They are the ones worth keeping in your life. Everyone else is just passing through.― Karl Marx

  • January 10, 2018
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    Don’t let anyone bring you down so low as to hate them. Release them from the hold they have on you and continue on with peace in your heart. Life is short and is not worth wasting your time trying to figure people out or prove anything to them. The only person you have to prove anything to is yourself. Strive to be the best person you can possibly be, be strong, and walk away. Holding on to bitterness and anger will only hinder your happiness. Your life is much too precious to spend another minute worrying about someone that doesn’t bring you happiness. Say goodbye and wish them well. After all, they’ve made you a stronger person. They’ll see the light someday. ~Ladybug

  • January 9, 2018
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    Fall in love with someone who wants you and cherishes you. Someone who understands you even in the madness; someone who helps you, and guides you. Someone who is your support, your hope. Fall in love with someone who forgives you after an argument. Fall in love with someone who misses you and wants to be with you. Do not fall in love only with a body or with a face; fall in love with a heart and soul.
    ~Unknown

  • January 9, 2018
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    Wait for the one who makes you smile and laugh. The one you don’t have to pretend that everything is fine when it’s really not. The one you can drop the fake smiles when you’re feeling feel sad or hurt. Someone who makes you feel wanted and loved. Someone who is easy to talk to and who makes a true effort to understand you. Someone you feel completely secure knowing that you can rely on them. Someone who wants to be with you more than anyone one else on earth.
    ~Brigitte Nicole

  • January 8, 2018
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    When two souls fall in love, there is nothing else but the yearning to be close to the other. The presence is felt through a held hand, a voice heard and the sight of a smile. Even through a simple touch. Souls do not have calendars or clocks, nor do they understand the notion of time or distance. They only know it feels right to be with one another. This is the reason why you miss someone so much when they are not around. Your soul feels their absence— it doesn’t realize the separation is temporary.
    ~ Lang Leav

  • January 8, 2018
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    To my fellow women -Please don’t settle. Not in a job you hate, not in a town where you don’t feel at home, not with friendships that aren’t real, and especially, especially not with love.

    ~Marisa Donnelly

  • January 8, 2018
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    “This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.”

    ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

  • January 8, 2018
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    There are people who can walk away from you…let them walk. I don’t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you… Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over. And you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over.
    ~ T.D. Jakes

  • January 8, 2018
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    Find someone that isn’t afraid to admit they miss you. Someone that knows you’re not perfect but treats you as if you are. Someone who couldn’t imagine losing you. Someone who gives their heart to you completely. Someone who says I love you and proves it. Last but not least, find someone who wouldn’t mind waking up to you in the morning, seeing your wrinkles and grey hair but still falls in love with you all over again.
    ~Unknown

  • January 7, 2018
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    You can be mature and respectful and still have a dirty sense of humor. You can curse a lot and still be highly intelligent with a massive vocabulary. You can be quiet and reserved and still be witty and even outgoing in certain circles.You can be intelligent and sharp-minded and still forget what month it is.

  • January 6, 2018
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    When you fall in love…fall in love with someone who wants to know your favorite color and just how you like your coffee. Fall in love with someone who loves the way you laugh and would do absolutely anything to hear it. Fall in love with someone who puts their head on your chest just to hear your heart beat. Fall in love with someone who kisses  you in public and is proud to show you off to anyone they know. Fall in love with someone who makes you question why you were afraid to fall in love in the first place. Fall in love with someone who would never want to hurt you.

  • January 5, 2018
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    I thought it would be painful, letting you go.

    I thought I would suffer, that my heart would be anguished with the loss of you. Or worse, maybe it would stop beating altogether.

    Maybe without you, I would simply cease to exist.

    I thought I would become adrift, for you had been the anchor I had formed my identity upon, the compass I had relied on for my direction. I thought without you I would become lost, disoriented.

    I had expected to taste salty tears as they fell upon lips that once spoke so fondly of you; that my head would lay on my pillow damp with tears for as many nights as the moon continued to kiss the stars.

    But one day, I just knew.

    I hadn’t expected such a feeling of relief as I cut the ropes that once shackled me to you. One instant of tremendous clarity. One instant, where I finally knew.

    I no longer needed you.

    I no longer needed your opinion of me, your affirmation, your approval.

    I no longer needed your judgments, your criticisms, your condemnations.

    I no longer needed your expectations I could never meet; your hoops too high to jump through, your goal posts that shifted with every changing breeze.

    I no longer needed your blame, your excuses, your justifications.

    I no longer needed your pseudo love, fraught with conditions and attached with strings.

    I thought I needed you. I didn’t.

    I thought it would be hard to let you go. It wasn’t.

    I thought I would miss you. I don’t.

    For in one instant my heart was awakened to the truth of who I am.

    I am more than the lies you made believe about myself. I am more than the look of failure in your eyes when I fell short of your demands. I am more than how worthless you made me feel. I am more than the ways you tried to break me.

    I am a warrior, sculpted by the hands of creation, fashioned into being by the very hands that created the oceans and the stars and the mountains and air.

    I am strong, I am brave, I am wise. I am gentle of spirit with the heart of a lioness.

    I am creative, passionate, sensitive, and kind. I am of open heart and open mind. I am powerful, generous, thoughtful, daring, empathetic, raw, complex, courageous, understanding, forgiving.

    I am everything you are not.

    I will no longer carry the shame you made me suffer under the weight of.

    That shame belongs to you.

    And I will no longer carry my hate for you.

    For that will only ever bind me to your darkness and give you permission to destroy my light. It will allow you to stay within me, to destroy my peace, to blacken my heart with the malice that lives within you.

    It will tie me to your soul-destroying bitterness, your ugliness.

    It will anchor me once more to you, who tried to drown me.

    Instead, I will choose to go into the world and love more fiercely, show more compassion, be more generous, offer more kindness.

    I will choose to forgive. For me, not for you.

    I will choose to sow what I wish to see reaped for my children’s future.

    I will choose to dis-empower hate.

    I will choose freedom.

    I will choose love.

    I will stand firm upon the unshakeable truth of who I am.

    And I will soar to heights you will only ever dream of.

    For I have let you go.

    No longer am I held down by all I allowed you to be in my life.

    I no longer need you.

    I am free.

    Written by Kathy Parker

    ( with permission)

    Find out more about Kathy at her blog: https://kathyparker.com.au/

  • January 5, 2018
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    How to Begin: Rebuilding Life From Within.
    Love yourself, unconditionally. Release your bottled up emotions. Make time for long walks, alone. Avoid living beyond your means. Nurture your inner strength. Stop apologizing for being you. Surround yourself with positive people. Embrace your situation, whatever it may be.

  • January 5, 2018
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    You can’t just give up on someone because the situation’s not ideal. Great relationships aren’t great because they have no problems. They’re great because both people care enough about the other person to find a way to make it work.

  • January 5, 2018
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    Fall in love with your best friend. Someone you can talk to about anything and know they’ll hold no judgement. Someone who knows the darkest parts of you and loves you anyway, that knows all your flaws and loves you not in spite of them but because of them. Not someone that you can’t live without, but someone that you don’t want to live without. Someone that you want to experience all of life’s ups and downs with. Someone who will hold your hand through the worst times of your life. When they see you at your worst, when you’re broken, and they don’t run away but help you put the pieces back together. Now that’s real love.

    ~unknown

  • January 4, 2018
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    For a while, a broken heart hurts so intensely that the pain is actually physical. You feel the smothering weight of sadness and loneliness, of rejection and isolation. But in addition to those internal emotions, there’s also bodily pain: nausea, headaches, lack of appetite, and an exhaustion so crushing that all you feel capable of doing is laying in bed all damn day.
    So when someone tells you that your broken heart is actually making you stronger, it’s usually accompanied by an intense desire to throw something on your end.
    How could anyone possibly classify you as being strong, you wonder. You’ve spent days, weeks, and even months sobbing against the wall, crying in bathroom stalls at work, needing your friends and family more than you’ve ever needed them in your life, sometimes staring unseeingly in the middle of a social gathering, unable to feel anything at all.

    Who would call that “getting stronger”?

    To you, this whole experience feels more like you’re breaking apart, piece by piece.

    But here’s the thing about “getting stronger.” We don’t realize it’s happening to us until we’re already through the dark patch. How could you possibly have time to reflect on the strength and tenacity of your soul when all your energy is going towards just getting out of bed in the morning? How could you have any time to do some internal categorization of your supposed mental and emotional fortitude when you’re too focused on trying not to break down at work and on maintaining some semblance of a social life so that you don’t entirely lose your mind?
    We romanticize breakups in order to survive. We want the pain and the aching to have meaning, so that it didn’t all happen for nothing. We need a way to wrap our brains around all the heartache. So we think about the movies we’ve seen, the books we’ve read, the sad One Republic songs they play during the montage that follows a breakup scene at the end of a dramatic television episode. And we want to be those people, those characters. We want to stare out of a bus window on a rainy day and experience ~growth~ in a ten-second take. We want to go on a long hike and get to the top of a mountain and then realize it was a metaphor! the whole time for our grieving process, and that now we’re okay. We want to stand alone and stare at the skyline of a beautiful city at night, and smile to the invisible audience watching us, to signify that we will get through this because we’re ~strong~.

    But in real life, breakups are ugly.

    The days are shitty and uneventful. You’re alone much of the time. Much of your grieving happens behind closed doors and you are the only one who will ever witness it. Falling asleep is impossible for a long time, because you’re still getting used to the fact that there is no longer a warm body beside you or a soothing, familiar voice to wish you good night. Work days are impossibly long.

    Sleep is the only respite, and it is brief and not restful. Social outings are exhausting and obligatory for a long while. Nothing about the pain and sadness and loneliness is romantic. It’s just full of suck.

    There are some really beautiful moments that happen throughout this time, sure. But they’re sparse, and sprinkled amongst so many rough days that we are fairly unaware of them. The healing happens slowly, because this is real life. We are unaware of the growth and the change happening within us because it is happening in quiet, unremarkable moments. Nothing about it is seemingly courageous or awe-inspiring. It’s just regular life. But it’s regular life that we’re forcing ourselves to go through and continue showing up to, despite the heaviness that sits on our shoulders. And that is where the strength is coming from, bit by bit. Each time we get out of bed we’re getting stronger. Each time we cry in the bathroom stall and then shake it off and go back to our desk, we’re getting stronger. Each time we force ourselves to go be with our friends when all we want to do is stay home and wallow, we’re getting stronger. Nothing about this behavior is sexy or fascinating to watch. It doesn’t turn ours into an exceptional story or turn us into some outstanding character. We’re just us, surviving despite how sad we are, how heavy our heart is.
    But that is what true strength really is. It’s not for show, it’s not for the benefit of someone else, it’s not incredible our admirable. It’s small, and secret, and quiet. It’s average. It’s human. But that’s exactly what makes it so comforting. Sometimes we go through our breakups and our heartaches and we wonder why it’s not as fascinating and as beautiful as the stories we read and watch. We think that we’re never going to get better because we’re not matching up with what we expect heartbreak to be like. But when you think about it, the monotony of your pain should be comforting. It means you’re doing it right, that you’re on the right track, that you’re experiencing what millions of humans before you have experienced. Maybe you’re not going to come out on the other side of your heartbreak and create an Eat, Pray, Love kind of phenomenon. But the important thing is, you’re going to come out on the other side, and you’re going to understand in such a deeper way what it means to be strong, what it means to be brave, what it means to be tough.
    It means getting up, showing up, and living – when there’s no promise of admiration or glory or fascination from others. You’re doing it just to do it, you’re doing it because somewhere inside of you, you know that you’ll make it through, that you’ll be okay, that you’ll survive.
    You are building strength, slowly, steadily. And maybe there’s no Snow Patrol playing in the background, maybe there’s no close up shot to portray your growth on your face. But it’s real, your new strength. More real than anything you’ve ever watched or read or listened to. Your heart was broken, and your story probably fell very short of extraordinary. And that’s exactly why you should trust it. It’s real life, not a movie. You’re almost there. Stay strong, and just keep getting out of bed.

    Written by Kim Quindlen

    This article was originally published in thoughtcatalog.com

    Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/kimberlyquindlen

  • January 4, 2018
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    In your lifetime you will find and meet one person who will love you more than anybody you have ever known and will know. They will love you with every bit of energy and soul. They will sacrifice, surrender and give so much that it scares you. Someday you’ll know who that is. Sometimes people realize who it was.

  • January 4, 2018
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    Why second love is the real love

    Second love teaches you how to love again after you’ve been broken. It teaches you that love still exists, that you’re capable of loving again and loving harder. That you can still have faith in love no matter how much pain your first love caused you. Second love is there to pick up the pieces.

    Second love gives you hope. That your fairy tale is still out there. That heartbreak is not the end of the world and that there are better things ahead. It shows you what happens when you move on, when you let go, when you try again and when you never lose hope. Second love shows you the light after the dark.

    Second love is braver. It means you know how to forgive, you know how to risk getting hurt again because it’s worth it. It means that you’re prepared for the worst but you’re hoping for the best. Second love makes you stronger.

    Second love makes you believe in timing. Why things didn’t work out the first time around, why you fell in love with the wrong person, why you had to get your heartbroken and why someone left you when they promised to love you. It’s here to tell you that there is always a valid reason behind your pain and that loving someone doesn’t always mean they’re right for you. Second love answers all these questions.

    Second love makes sense. It’s not based on childhood fantasies or lust or infatuation. It’s not blind or reckless or toxic. It’s not based on unrealistic expectations or sheer obsession. Second love comes after you’ve learned to listen to your gut, to watch for the red flags, to pick someone because they will add value to your life and when you’ve learned to make decisions out of maturity not out of loneliness.

    Second love shows you that you can be someone’s first choice and shows you what it really means to be loved.

    Written by Rania Naim

    This story was brought to you by Thought Catalog and Quote Catalog

  • January 3, 2018
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    There is nothing simple about loving the girl with the guarded heart.

     

    She is not convinced by flowers and fancy dinners, nor won over by compliments and praise. In the beginning she is a slow dance, one step toward you, another step back, as she learns to trust the ways of your heart and the strength of your arms. The dance may be slow but it cannot be rushed, for she will sense the impatience of your steps and the way they fall out of time with hers. Dance with her. Follow the measure of her steps and in time, she will soon look to follow yours.
    She will not show you her heart all at once, instead offer you a little at a time, unhurried and watchful of the way you hold each fragile piece. She longs for you to understand how much it takes her to show you these pieces; for you to trace your fingers over the scars left behind from others, to feel the whisper of your breath against her neck as you promise to hold her heart with more care than those who came before. There are parts of her heart that remain unreachable, parts she has buried under layers she will never reveal. Love these parts of her, the parts unseen, the shadows of her soul. For even the sky knows without darkness, the stars cannot adorn us with their light.
    She will watch you closer than you realise, listen to every word you speak and weigh it against every action, searching for inconsistencies, seeking the truth of your word and the intention of your heart. Not because she can’t trust you, but because she is cautious, alert, wary; the stories of her past still etched upon her mind. She isn’t ready to trust her heart with you. Not yet. Not until she knows you are a man of your word, a man of steadfast hands and unchanging ways.
    There is a part of her that will always remain a little detached, ready to run if she thinks her heart will get damaged again. She no longer believes in second chances, having used all of them on those undeserving of such grace. To hurt her means to lose her, for she would sooner be alone than risk losing the life she has fought so damn hard to rebuild with her own wearied hands. She isn’t there because she needs you. She doesn’t need anyone. She’s there because she has chosen you, because she wants you, because she believes you are worth the risk. And all she asks is for you not to prove her wrong in the chance she has taken, for it has cost her more than you know.
    She will need more reassurance than most, she will need you to stay present, available, mindful of her scars. She will think too much, talk too little, cry too often, ask too many questions, struggle to rest in your love. She is complex. Complicated. Perplexing. Sometimes difficult.
    But beyond her guarded heart lies a soul that contains the wonders of the universe. One that longs to live and love with abandon, that desires connection and intimacy and to be in relationship with someone who sees both her beauty and her scars, and knows how to fall in love with both.
    She holds within her a fierce spirit; brave, strong, courageous, unrelenting; yet is also the quiet and the calm, a place to take shelter against the fury of the wind on storm-filled days. She is nurture, she is passion. She is a touch of madness against ordinary skies, a vulnerable heart with a fearless soul, a barefoot warrior who follows no trails but sets her own path.
    She is grounded in her truth, accepting of her flaws, far from perfect but closer to real than most. She is wildflowers and ocean currents and meadows that dance upon the breath of summer winds, uncontained in earthly beauty and free in spiritual grace.
    Broken, she knows what it means to suffer. But out of the depths of her suffering, she has come to understand love. And her guarded heart waits for the one who understands it too.
    No, there may be nothing simple about loving the girl with the guarded heart.
    But every day you choose to love her, she’ll prove to you why she’s worth it.

    Written by Kathy Parker.

    (With permission)

    Please check out Kathy’s blog at : https://kathyparker.com.au/

  • January 3, 2018
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    “Fall in love with someone who wants you, who waits for you, who understands you. Someone who helps you, and guides you, someone who is your support, your hope. Fall in love with someone who talks with you after a fight. Fall in love with someone who misses you and wants to be with you. Do not fall in love only with a body or with a face; or with the idea of being in love”

    ~Unknown

  • January 3, 2018
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    Those Top 37 Things You’ll Regret When You’re Old.

    1. Not traveling when you had the chance.

    Traveling becomes infinitely harder the older you get, especially if you have a family and need to pay the way for three-plus people instead of just yourself.

    2. Not learning another language.

    You’ll kick yourself when you realize you took three years of language in high school and remember none of it.

    3. Staying in a bad relationship.

    No one who ever gets out of a bad relationship looks back without wishing they made the move sooner.

    4. Forgoing sunscreen.

    Wrinkles, moles, and skin cancer can largely be avoided if you protect yourself.

    5. Missing the chance to see your favorite musicians.

    “Nah, dude, I’ll catch Nirvana next time they come through town.” Facepalm.

    6. Being scared to do things.

    Looking back you’ll think, What was I so afraid of?

    7. Failing to make physical fitness a priority.

    Too many of us spend the physical peak of our lives on the couch. When you hit 40, 50, 60, and beyond, you’ll dream of what you could have done.

    8. Letting yourself be defined by gender roles.

    Few things are as sad as an old person saying, “Well, it just wasn’t done back then.”

    9. Not quitting a terrible job.

    Look, you gotta pay the bills. But if you don’t make a plan to improve your situation, you might wake up one day having spent 40 years in hell.

    10. Not trying harder in school.

    It’s not just that your grades play a role in determining where you end up in life. Eventually you’ll realize how neat it was to get to spend all day learning, and wish you’d paid more attention.

    11. Not realizing how beautiful you were.

    Too many of us spend our youth unhappy with the way we look, but the reality is, that’s when we’re our most beautiful.

    12. Being afraid to say “I love you.”

    When you’re old, you won’t care if your love wasn’t returned — only that you made it known how you felt.

    13. Not listening to your parents’ advice.

    You don’t want to hear it when you’re young, but the infuriating truth is that most of what your parents say about life is true.

    14. Spending your youth self-absorbed.

    You’ll be embarrassed about it, frankly.

    15. Caring too much about what other people think.

    In 20 years you won’t give a darn about any of those people you once worried so much about.

    16. Supporting others’ dreams over your own.

    Supporting others is a beautiful thing, but not when it means you never get to shine.

    17. Not moving on fast enough.

    Old people look back at the long periods spent picking themselves off the ground as nothing but wasted time.

    18. Holding grudges, especially with those you love.

    What’s the point of re-living the anger over and over?

    19. Not standing up for yourself.

    Old people don’t take sh*t from anyone. Neither should you.

    20. Not volunteering enough.

    OK, so you probably won’t regret not volunteering Hunger Games style, but nearing the end of one’s life without having helped to make the world a better place is a great source of sadness for many.

    21. Neglecting your teeth.

    Neglecting your teeth.

    Brush. Floss. Get regular checkups. It will all seem so maddeningly easy when you have dentures.

    22. Missing the chance to ask your grandparents questions before they die.

    Most of us realize too late what an awesome resource grandparents are. They can explain everything you’ll ever wonder about where you came from, but only if you ask them in time.

    23. Working too much.

    No one looks back from their deathbed and wishes they spent more time at the office, but they do wish they spent more time with family, friends, and hobbies.

    24. Not learning how to cook one awesome meal.

    Knowing one drool-worthy meal will make all those dinner parties and celebrations that much more special.

    25. Not stopping enough to appreciate the moment.

    Young people are constantly on the go, but stopping to take it all in now and again is a good thing.

    26. Failing to finish what you start.

    Failing to finish what you start.

    “I had big dreams of becoming a nurse. I even signed up for the classes, but then…”

    27. Never mastering one awesome party trick.

    You will go to hundreds, if not thousands, of parties in your life. Wouldn’t it be cool to be the life of them all?

    28. Letting yourself be defined by cultural expectations.

    Letting yourself be defined by cultural expectations.

    Don’t let them tell you, “We don’t do that.”

    29. Refusing to let friendships run their course.

    People grow apart. Clinging to what was, instead of acknowledging that things have changed, can be a source of ongoing agitation and sadness.

    30. Not playing with your kids enough.

    When you’re old, you’ll realize your kid went from wanting to play with you to wanting you out of their room in the blink of an eye.

    31. Never taking a big risk (especially in love).

    Knowing that you took a leap of faith at least once — even if you fell flat on your face — will be a great comfort when you’re old.

    32. Not taking the time to develop contacts and network.

    Networking may seem like a bunch of crap when you’re young, but later on it becomes clear that it’s how so many jobs are won.

    33. Worrying too much.

    As Tom Petty sang, “Most things I worry about never happen anyway.”

    34. Getting caught up in needless drama.

    Who needs it?

    35. Not spending enough time with loved ones.

    Not spending enough time with loved ones.

    Our time with our loved ones is finite. Make it count.

    36. Never performing in front of others.

    This isn’t a regret for everyone, but many elderly people wish they knew — just once — what it was like to stand in front of a crowd and show off their talents.

    37. Not being grateful sooner.

     

    It can be hard to see in the beginning, but eventually it becomes clear that every moment on this earth — from the mundane to the amazing — is a gift that we’re all so incredibly lucky to share.

  • January 2, 2018
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    I told you I’d move on. I told you I’d let you go someday. Honestly, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but it was worth it. For me, for my heart. You hurt me so bad. You killed my trust, you changed me. I knew I could be strong enough to let you go. I knew it and I did it. I can’t explain how proud I am. Because I’m the only one who knows how much you hurt me. But here I am now, healing. We may love the wrong person, cry for the wrong person, but one thing is sure, mistakes will help us find the right person someday.

    ~Unknown