To encourage you to keep going.
To remind you to be strong.

Archive for February, 2018

  • February 18, 2018
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    Dear Mother Who is Struggling,  

     

    I know you haven’t been yourself lately.

     

    I see it in the way your eyes no longer carry the light the way they used to, their colour faded; like an old photograph that once held a cherished memory, now lost.

     

    Your frown lines have deepened, they outnumber the lines of laughter that once etched the sides of your face, back when your joyful smile would reach that far, back when your shoulders were straight and the weight of your tiredness didn’t pull you down.

     

    You love your babies, I know you do.

     

    But this is hard.

     

    And you are tired. So damn tired.

     

    And maybe this is what adds to the tiredness; the guilt that you shouldn’t feel this way. You wonder if you’re the only mother out there who feels so isolated, so alone, so exhausted. Or do they all have these villages you hear of; support networks of family and friends who share the burden of raising a family, while you wake up each morning and wonder how you will get through another day on your own?

     

    There was a world you used to belong to, and you grieve it. It’s there in front of you, every day, on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter – there, in the radiant faces of other women as they go about their social lives, their holidays, gym classes, dates, promotions. You wonder how, in a world so connected by social media, you are left feeling so goddamn disconnected from it all.

     

    Surrounded by little people, noise, clutter, you find yourself lonelier than ever. But it’s not a loneliness from being alone. It’s a loneliness that comes from being so far from yourself, so far from who you once were. You don’t even know who that is anymore. You feel as though you’ve traded your whole identity to be a mother. Sacrificed your entire life to care for those around you. This is all you know now. This is all your life has become.

     

    And you miss the woman you once were, and the life you once had.

     

    You long for your independence, your spontaneity, your carefree. For road trips and dinner dates and live music and nights out in the city. For beach days and lazy Sundays in bed and to read a book, uninterrupted. Drained, you yearn for the things that bring nurture to your tired body and soul as you force yourself through another day on the scarce remnants of what you have left to give.

     

    Around you, other mothers appear cool, unflustered; they’ve got this. You wonder if they catch a glimpse of the defeat in your eyes before you look the other way, if they can sense the effort it takes to simply place one foot in front of the other.

     

    I know this is hard. But take heart, dear one.

     

    It won’t always be this way. It won’t always be so hard. Days will get easier. There will be more moments to be still, to breathe, more moments to laugh again. There will be more moments where you can reach inside and find the misplaced pieces of the woman you used to be, and the days will begin to feel less lonely as you journey back to your own heart.

     

    I know you think the way you struggle makes you a failure. That because of this, you fall short and aren’t enough. Don’t believe these lies. Be gentle on your heart, for every day you face the hardest job, alone, and you make it through. No matter how hard, you don’t give up. You show up, and continue to do the best with what you have. And some days that may not seem like enough.

     

    But every day, you continue to love.

     

    And that will always be more than enough.

     

    I know this is hard. But for now, this is all you need to know.

     

    This too shall pass.  

     

    And when you close your eyes tonight, write those words on the back of your eyelids, and watch as they fall away beneath your skin and seep into your bloodstream where they will reach your heart and kiss it with the hope that will get you through your tomorrows.

     

    You may not feel it today, but I promise you, my love – you’ve got this.

     

    Written by Kathy Parker

    ( with permission)

    Kathy Parker is a Warrior. Dreamer. Creator. Writer. Fighter of all that is beautiful and good. Advocator for the underdog. Truth-teller. Empath. Passionate soul. Lover of land and ocean. Coffee drinker. Gentle spirit. Sensitive soul. Wild heart. Survivor. She is a freelance writer, blogger for HuffPost Australia, and columnist for elephant journal who is currently writing her first manuscript.

    Married to a farmer in the Limestone Coast of South Australia, she is also a mother to four astonishing children.

    Find out more about Kathy at her blog: https://kathyparker.com.au/

  • February 18, 2018
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    People who defend your name when you’re not around are the most loyal friends you could ever get.

  • February 18, 2018
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    If your heart hurts a little after letting go of someone or something, that’s okay. It just means that your feelings were genuine. No one likes ends. And no one likes pain. But sometimes, we have to put things that were once good to an end after they turn toxic to our wellbeing. Not every new beginning is meant to last forever. And not every person who walks into your life is meant to stay.  -Najwa Zebian

  • February 18, 2018
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    Find someone that isn’t afraid to admit they miss you. Someone that knows you’re not perfect but treats you as if you are. Someone who couldn’t imagine losing you. Someone who gives their heart to you completely. Someone who says I love you and proves it. Last but not least, find someone who wouldn’t mind waking up to you in the morning, seeing your wrinkles and grey hair but still falls in love with you all over again.
    ~Unknown

     

  • February 17, 2018
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    “Fall in love with someone who wants you, who waits for you, who understands you. Someone who helps you, and guides you, someone who is your support, your hope. Fall in love with someone who talks with you after a fight. Fall in love with someone who misses you and wants to be with you. Do not fall in love only with a body or with a face; or with the idea of being in love”

    ~Unknown

     

  • February 17, 2018
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    I forgive, but I also learn a lesson. I won’t hate you, but I’ll never get close enough for you to hurt me again. I can’t let my forgiveness become foolishness. ~Tony Gaskins

  • February 17, 2018
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    You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart. Someone who can help you reach your dreams and who can protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws. You should be with someone who can make you happy, really happy, dancing-on-air happy. Someone who should have taken the chance to be with you years ago instead of becoming scared and being too afraid to try.
    Cecelia Ahern

  • February 17, 2018
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    Yes, I’m old school. I have good manners, I show others respect and I will always help those who need me. It’s not because I’m old fashioned, it’s because I was raised properly.

  • February 17, 2018
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    Losing someone who doesn’t respect or appreciate you is actually a gain, not a loss.

  • February 17, 2018
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    Never reply when you’re angry. Never make a promise when you’re happy. Never make a decision when you’re sad.

  • February 16, 2018
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    I’m a strong person but every now and then I would like someone to take my hand and say everything will be alright.

  • February 16, 2018
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    Anyone can give you attention and compliments, but someone who loves you will give you that plus respect, honesty, trust, and loyalty. ~Charles Orlando

  • February 16, 2018
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    Before you start to judge me, step into my shoes and walk the life I’m living and if you get as far as I am, just maybe you will see how strong I really am.

  • February 16, 2018
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    It’s always the broken souls who are always trying to help others.

  • February 16, 2018
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    Never forget the people who take time out of their day to check up on you.

  • February 16, 2018
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    Dear mind, Please stop thinking so much at night. I need to sleep.

  • February 15, 2018
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    When love is real, it doesn’t lie, cheat, pretend, hurt you or make you feel unwanted.

  • February 15, 2018
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    Happiness begins with you. Not with your relationship, your friends, or your job. but with you.”

    ―Mandy Hale

  • February 15, 2018
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    Dear Lord,

    Here is my heart, I’ve broken it You see.

    I tried to fix it as best I could, but it keeps falling apart.

    I shared it with my friends and family, I gave them each a piece.

    Everything was fine until the pieces they held began to break..

    Some of them were lost and some thrown away, a few of the pieces remained intact and were treasured.

    But more still were breaking every day.

    Pieces were returned to me, the carrier with tear stained eyes. “I don’t know what happened”, they would say.

    I would take back the piece knowing we would never be the same. I tried to reconstruct my heart using anything I could – band-aids, tape, ribbon, and even glue – nothing held and I cried.

    As I put the pieces together the cracks spread.. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want the broken bits to break the rest, so I’m giving it back to You Lord, I’m giving You my heart.

    I know You can fix it. You are the One who created it.. I’m not asking You to make it new, I’m merely asking You to make it whole.

    The cracks will help me remember all the pain I’ve gone through.

    The glue holding it together will make those breaks stronger so it won’t break in the same place again.

    It was such a pretty heart, You made it so well.

    I wish I hadn’t broken it, yet the breaks are part of life. For an unbroken heart has never lived, has never loved.

    So Lord, will You please protect my heart? Keep it safe for me? And when the cracks appear, will You please fix them, patch them and I would be so grateful.

    It’s so hard to heal a heart that is your own.

    I’ll be back for it someday when I can find the one who will care for it as You do.

    I thank you Lord for everything You’ve done. For hearing my plea, and for restoring my heart.

    Forever Your Child,

    Amen..

  • February 15, 2018
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    Don’t ever second-guess a strong feeling that you have. Trust your gut.

    — Allison DuBois

  • February 15, 2018
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    The Last Time

    From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,
    you will never be the same.
    You might long for the person you were before,
    When you had freedom and time,
    And nothing in particular to worry about.
    You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,
    And days will run into days that are exactly the same,
    Full of feeding and burping,
    Whining and fighting,
    Naps, or lack of naps. It might seem like a never-ending cycle.
    But don’t forget…
    There is a last time for everything.
    There will come a time when you will feed your baby
    for the very last time.
    They will fall asleep on you after a long day
    And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.
    One day you will carry them on your hip,
    then set them down,
    And never pick them up that way again.
    You will scrub their hair in the bath one night
    And from that day on they will want to bathe alone.
    They will hold your hand to cross the road,
    Then never reach for it again.
    They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,
    And it will be the last night you ever wake for this.
    One afternoon you will sing ‘the wheels on the bus’
    and do all the actions,
    Then you’ll never sing that song again.
    They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,
    the next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.
    You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your
    last dirty face.
    They will one day run to you with arms raised,
    for the very last time.
    The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time
    until there are no more times, and even then,
    it will take you a while to realize.
    So while you are living in these times,
    remember there are only so many of them and
    when they are gone,
    you will yearn for just one more day of them
    For one last time.
    ~~Author unknown~~
  • February 14, 2018
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    I think one of the greatest feelings in the world is when someone openly tells you how much you mean to them. Raw honesty is so rare.

  • February 14, 2018
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    My point is, when you love someone, when you care for someone, you have to do it through the good and the bad. Not just when you’re happy and it’s easy.

    ~Unknown.

  • February 14, 2018
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    I love you today and I’ll love you tomorrow, and the next day and even next week. In 4 months, I will love you, just like I loved you yesterday. 40 years from now, I’ll run my hands through my grey hair and smile at the thought of how much I love you. I just hope you’ll be with me through all that time.

  • February 14, 2018
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    When God gives you a new beginning, it starts with an ending. Be thankful for closed doors. They often guide us to the right one!

  • February 14, 2018
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    Never get too attached to anyone unless they also feel the same towards you, because one sided expectations can mentally destroy you.

  • February 14, 2018
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    If I love you, I won’t give up easily. Leaving is my last option, but if you push me away I will walk away knowing I gave it my all.

  • February 13, 2018
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    Death Changes Everything. Time Changes Nothing. I still miss the sound of your voice, the wisdom in your advice, the stories of your life and just being in your presence. So no, time changes nothing. I still miss you just as much today as I did the day you died. I just miss you.

  • February 13, 2018
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    It’s a hard pill to swallow. But the truth is going to heal your heart a lot faster than simply letting it break over and over until you finally face what you knew all along anyway:

    If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you.

    There are a million possible scenarios here. It’s easier when he’s an asshole – selfish, only thinking of himself, using you to make someone else jealous, using you in general, treating you poorly, crushing you thoughtlessly, whatever. But it’s a lot harder when he’s a good guy, and you still have to let him go. When he tells you that you’re an incredible person, but he just doesn’t feel the same way that you do. Or when he really likes you, but doesn’t think you’re the one. Or when he just doesn’t feel as strongly as you do and he wants to be honest. Or when he can’t seem to make up his mind and feels confused, which he doesn’t yet realize just means that he’s afraid of hurting you, that feeling ‘confused’ just a softer way of eventually saying ‘no.’ If he wanted to be with you, he wouldn’t have had to make up his mind in the first place. It would just be an answer that he felt deeply in his gut.

    But regardless, whether he’s a wonderful guy or an asshole or somewhere in between, this is about you, moving on. Because no matter what the situation was, no matter how well he treated you or how much fun you had together or how well you got along, he doesn’t want to be with you. And that’s the truth. And that’s going to be your life raft for the next several weeks or months, no matter how much you don’t want to grab onto it. It is what is going to eventually help you come to peace with the end of your relationship, or the fizzling out of your fling, or the ‘no more talking’ after you guys spent so much time ‘talking.’ It is the truth, and as ugly as it is, it will be the only thing that can help you move on:

    If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you.

    It’s easy to try to soften the blow. He needs time, or he just needs a little space, or he’s just afraid of commitment and I just need to reassure him, or he builds walls and it’s my job to kick through them.

    But think about the way you feel about him. How easy and natural and obvious it feels. How you don’t even need to question whether or not you should be with him, because it just feels right in your veins. How, even if you were scared of committing to someone or getting hurt or opening yourself up, you were still willing to do it, because your heart had already made up your mind. You wanted to be with him, so you were. The decision was simple. It really wasn’t even a decision at all.

    Now can you imagine feeling all those things but choosing not to be with him anyway?

    That’s why your heart is broken. Because he didn’t feel those things. He didn’t feel that same certainty that you did, deep in your bones. And you can’t change that, and you can’t fix yourself, and there’s nothing you did wrong. It’s just the truth. His heart didn’t make the decision for his brain, because his heart is in a different place from yours. And that really, really sucks. And you just have to accept it. And that sucks even more.

    Maybe you’ll get over this in weeks, maybe months. Maybe longer. It will hurt, some days will be horrible and some will be okay. But the smallest of silver linings is this: you can let your heart break once – instead of breaking it a million times by convincing yourself that he’s making a mistake or he probably misses you or you should call him. Love yourself enough to be hard on yourself:

    If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you.

    Written by Kim Quindlen (with permission)

    This article was originally published in thoughtcatalog.com

  • February 2, 2018
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    Love a soft Person.

    Love a soft person. The kind whose heart breaks over puppies and injured children. Someone who cries over sad endings to movies and feels deep joy over happy ones. Someone who kisses your soul instead of your heart because they know that your soul is where you keep your universe and your heart is just one star. The sort of person who is told they are over-sensitive because they have a more fragile, easily wounded heart. (Yet soft people will always find a reason to smile, no matter how unhappy things are.)

    Love a soft person. A human being who always has a kind smile for everyone, even when they do not get a smile back in return. Someone whose heart breaks over the condition of this world. Someone who always has a gentle word for those who have received the worst news they could in that moment. A man or a woman who cannot look at someone suffering and do nothing to help out. (You see, soft people will never stand for injustice in front of them and let it go when someone is hurting or injured.)

    Love a soft person. The ones who are positive, even in the worst of circumstances. Someone whose strength is not in bravado, but in their quiet. Someone who is strong for others because that is what is needed in that moment. Someone who is the moon that soothes instead of the sun that burns. Someone who sees the very best in people even when you think they aren’t worth it. The kind of person who always wants to do the best for those they love. (Because soft people cannot stand the idea of hurting someone that has bestowed upon them their trust.)

    Love a soft person. The kind who looks at someone who is struggling, whether it is to open a door, or have lost their keys and will do everything they can to help out. Someone who would rather suffer themselves than let anyone else down. Someone who tries, not because it is what they have to do, but because they want to do the best by you. A human being that is always willing to communicate and talk things through. (The softest people will always ask twice if you are okay, when you say you are, because they can read moods and understand when you need someone who just listens to you.)

    Protect a soft person. These kind of people are becoming endangered with words like ‘toughen up’ and ‘you’re so naïve’ and ‘they’re going to take advantage of you’. Someone who you can see is trying despite being broken themselves. Someone who is an easy target for ridicule because their heart is softer than most others around. Someone who is quick to apologize and fix things regardless of blame or fault. (Soft people need protection not because they are weak but because they have been broken brutally by those they have trusted with their hearts.)

    Be a soft person. Be a cushion in a world full of rocks and hard places. Be a gentle soul where everyone else is jaded. Be that person. Because people like that are rarer and more precious than the rarest of jewels in this world.

    Written by Nikita Gill

  • February 1, 2018
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    This is What You Need to Remember When They Choose Not to Forgive You.

    There are times we hurt others. Whether purposefully or inadvertently, it makes little difference. We have still damaged another through our own actions, and so we seek to make that right. It hurts us to know we have hurt another; we ask forgiveness and seek restoration in the hope to receive grace from those we have wronged.

     

    We hope for the best outcome. We hope for what we perceive as fair.

     

    Sometimes though, we don’t receive forgiveness, no matter how sorry we are. No matter how much we try and make it right. And it’s hard to accept, it’s hard to let go of the injustice we feel at not being granted the forgiveness we had so hoped for.

     

    But this is what we need to remember.

     

    Their forgiveness isn’t your responsibility.

     

    Your responsibility is this: To admit your mistakes. To own your actions. To seek forgiveness. To make right the things you can. To let go of the things you can’t. To learn, to grow, to recognise behaviours in you that have hurt others and change them. To mindfully choose to be a better person, and take necessary action required for that to happen.

     

    But their forgiveness isn’t your responsibility.

     

    We don’t get to control the way others think of us or what they choose to believe about us. We can stand before them with our heart in our hands and ask them to see it – to see us – for who we are and not for what we’ve done. But we can’t make someone forgive us who is determined to only believe the worst of us. Who is determined to hold tight to their judgement, their bitterness, their animosity.  

     

    This is a hard lesson for people like us to learn.

     

    People like us, who believe in forgiveness. Who give second chances. Who understand the human condition, the way we fail and fall. Who choose to believe people are good, and that until we have walked a mile in their shoes, we will never fully understand the choices they have made. Nor the mistakes they have made, and why they have made them.

     

    We are people who believe mercy triumphs over judgement, and we choose to love others with grace and with second chances, understanding the frailty of our own humanity. And it can be hard to accept there are people who don’t live like this, who don’t love like this.  

     

    But what matters is these people aren’t our judges, nor are they our jury. We don’t belong in their courtroom.

     

    What they choose to believe about us is their choice, and who we are isn’t dictated by who they try and make us believe we are.

     

    When we have taken responsibility for our actions, when we have owned our wrongs and sought to make them right, when we have asked forgiveness and reached for reconciliation, then we have done all we need to do. We are no longer bound by their unforgiveness but can walk away knowing we are worthy of our own grace, even when they are unwilling to extend theirs.

     

    What others choose to believe of us is not the truth. It is only their opinion. Only their judgement. Only the evidence of their unenlightened heart.

     

    Their forgiveness isn’t your responsibility.

     

    We don’t always get the outcome we hope for.

     

    But when we have done all we can do, it’s no longer our burden to carry. Just because someone isn’t willing to forgive us, it doesn’t make us unforgivable. Unshackled from the chains of their unforgiveness, we can now run free under skies of grace and redemption.

     

    We can now rise strong.

    Written by Kathy Parker

    ( with permission)

    Kathy Parker is a Warrior. Dreamer. Creator. Writer. Fighter of all that is beautiful and good. Advocator for the underdog. Truth-teller. Empath. Passionate soul. Lover of land and ocean. Coffee drinker. Gentle spirit. Sensitive soul. Wild heart. Survivor. She is a freelance writer, blogger for HuffPost Australia, and columnist for elephant journal who is currently writing her first manuscript.

    Married to a farmer in the Limestone Coast of South Australia, she is also a mother to four astonishing children.

    Find out more about Kathy at her blog: https://kathyparker.com.au/

     

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