To encourage you to keep going.
To remind you to be strong.

Archive for November, 2017

  • November 30, 2017
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    Fall in love with your best friend. Someone you can talk to about anything and know they’ll hold no judgement. Someone who knows the darkest parts of you and loves you anyway, that knows all your flaws and loves you not in spite of them but because of them. Not someone that you can’t live without, but someone that you don’t want to live without. Someone that you want to experience all of life’s ups and downs with. Someone who will hold your hand through the worst times of your life. When they see you at your worst, when you’re broken, and they don’t run away but help you put the pieces back together. That is true love.
    ~Unknown.

  • November 30, 2017
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    “Do yourself a favor and learn how to walk away. When a connection starts to fade, Learn how to let it go. When a person starts to mistreat you, learn how to move on.. to something and someone better. Don’t waste your energy trying to force something that isn’t meant to be.. Because the truth is.. for every one person who doesn’t value you – there are tons more waiting to love you better. Do better.”

  • November 30, 2017
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    Being rude is easy. It does not take any effort and is a sign of weakness and insecurity. Kindness shows great self-discipline and strong self esteem. Being kind is not always easy when dealing with rude people. Kindness is a sign of a person who has done a lot of personal work and has come to a great self-understanding and wisdom. Kindness is a sign of STRENGTH.

  • November 30, 2017
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    Let them judge you. Let them misunderstand you. Let them gossip about you. Their opinions aren’t your problem. You stay kind, committed to love, and free in your authenticity. No matter what they do or say, don’t you dare doubt your worth or the beauty of your truth. Just keep on shining like you do.

    ~ Scott Stabile

  • November 30, 2017
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    I hope you fall in love with someone who always calls you back and never lets you fall asleep making you feel unwanted. I hope you fall in love with someone who holds your hand during the scary parts of horror movies and burns cookies with you while you’re both busy dancing around the kitchen. I hope you fall in love with someone who tickles you and makes you smile on hard days and on easy ones. But beyond all that I hope you fall in love with someone who will never leave you behind and who will never take you for granted. Someone who will stand by you when you’re right and stand by you when you’re wrong. Someone who has seen you at your worst and loves you still. I hope you fall in love with someone who kisses you in the rain and hugs you when you’re cold and wouldn’t have it any other way.

    ~Unknown

  • November 29, 2017
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    Settle for the kind of love that’s extraordinary in all of its ordinariness. Find the person who makes you feel excited to spend Saturday doing nothing, as long as you’re doing nothing with them.

    Settle for the kind of love that makes you unbelievably happy to sit there and spend your Sunday night sending work emails, or folding your clothes after pulling them out of the dryer, or chopping up vegetables while you make your meals for the week – as long as they are sitting next to you and keeping you company. Because no matter what you’re doing, no matter how boring the task, it’s still so wonderful if you get to be near them while you do it.

    Settle for the kind of love where you feel like you can just talk to them. Like you don’t have to be funny or clever or entertaining enough to ‘earn’ their attention. You can just talk to them and say the things that are on your mind and admit if you’re stressed about work or that you’re missing your mom – and you won’t worry about boring them or chasing them away with your uneventfulness, because the two of you have formed the kind of bond that strips away all expectations of being interesting and fascinating and cool all the time, and instead just lets you be your damn selves.

    Settle for the kind of love that simultaneously makes you feel accepted for who you are but also makes you want to be a better person.
    Find someone who encourages you and supports you and loves you for you. But also, find someone whom you admire so much and respect so much and like so much that you instinctively just want to be a better person, every day, because you feel safe and supported enough to try for it, even if you fail.

    Find someone who looks at you and sees you. Someone who puts their phone down, not just when you’re upset, but even just when you’re there, in front of them, and they want to show you that you matter more to them than a bunch of things happening inside of a little rectangle that will still be there in five minutes from now. Find someone who looks you in the eye and makes you feel seen and hears you but also listens to you. Find someone who makes you want to do the same for them.

    Settle for the kind of love that is hard, and challenging, and so worth every ounce of effort and sacrifice and joy that you put into it. Settle for the kind of love that is rare in its everyday sense of happiness and contentment, the kind of love that grows out of little, tiny moments of affection and thoughtfulness and tenderness and warmth. Settle for that kind of love, and you won’t be settling for anything.

    Written by Kim Quindlen

    (with permission)

    This article was originally published in thoughtcatalog.com

  • November 29, 2017
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    Never miss out on a good person that could make your life great just because they’re a little difficult. The good ones are never easy

  • November 29, 2017
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    Don’t let anyone bring you down so low as to hate them. Release them from the hold they have on you and continue on with peace in your heart. Life is short and is not worth wasting your time trying to figure people out or prove anything to them. The only person you have to prove anything to is yourself. Strive to be the best person you can possibly be, be strong, and walk away. Holding on to bitterness and anger will only hinder your happiness. Your life is much too precious to spend another minute worrying about someone that doesn’t bring you happiness. Say goodbye and wish them well. After all, they’ve made you a stronger person. They’ll see the light someday. ~Ladybug

  • November 29, 2017
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    The truth is that I don’t Have trust issues. I’m just very aware. I’m not pessimistic. I’m just realistic. I’ve seen human behavior At its best and worst. So now I just sit back  And observe.
    I’ll never fall victim to words, Because it’s really about Behavior. Behavior never Lies. Words can’t be true. -Sylvester McNutt

  • November 28, 2017
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    “She doesn’t have trust issues just because she’s being distant and cautious.  She’s just seen a lot before and learned many lessons.  She’s witnessed bullshit before and you might be making mistakes she promised herself she would never make again.  Women crave action, they are interested in what you have to say – but they are drawn to the way you act. Women build walls when they’ve been through a lot and it’s normal that those walls build higher standards.  She’s not full of herself for making herself unavailable for just anyone.  Don’t be so quick to think she doesn’t care just because she doesn’t seem obsessed by everything you do.  She will fall for your consistency.  You can’t give her a vibe one day and expect her to chime to it forever.  She’s in search of herself.  You have to be willing to put in work for a girl that’s worth it to you.”

    ~Pinelopis

  • November 28, 2017
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    So, I’ve been thinking about this whole being happy thing, and I feel like people get lost when they think of happiness as a destination. We’re always thinking that someday we’ll be happy; we’ll get that car or that job or that person in our lives that will fix everything. But happiness is a mood, and it’s a condition, not a destination. It’s like being tired or hungry, it’s not permanent. It comes and goes, and that’s okay. And I feel like if people thought of it that way, they’d find happiness more often.

    One Tree Hill

  • November 28, 2017
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    Marry your best friend. Marry someone who you wouldn’t mind waking up to every day for the rest of your life. The one who makes you glad to be alive. Marry someone who drives you crazy. The one who frustrates you. The one who calms you. Marry the one you don’t mind fighting with, because they will be fair about it. Don’t marry someone who gives their ego more importance, than they give you. Marry someone who makes you the best version of yourself. The one who believes in you, even when you don’t. The one who stands by you, through thick and thin. Marry someone you can’t imagine your life without. Marry the one you are insanely in love with. And the one who is insanely in love with you. Marry the one who knows what you want to say, when you’re too tired to say it with words. The one you can spend comfortable silences with from time to time. Marry your soul mate. Marry your best friend.”

  • November 28, 2017
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    Love is more black and white than we like to tell ourselves. Don’t allow anyone to keep you trapped in the “promise” of the gray area. The bottom line is: If they love you, TRULY love you, they’ll do whatever it takes to be with you. There won’t be excuses or doubts or fears or hesitation. Love is ACTION. Everything else is just words.
    ~Mandy Hale – The Single Woman

  • November 27, 2017
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    I hope you fall in love with someone who always calls you back and never lets you fall asleep making you feel unwanted. I hope you fall in love with someone who holds your hand during the scary parts of horror movies and burns cookies with you while you’re both busy dancing around the kitchen. I hope you fall in love with someone who tickles you and makes you smile on hard days and on easy ones. But beyond all that I hope you fall in love with someone who will never leave you behind and who will never take you for granted. Someone who will stand by you when you’re right and stand by you when you’re wrong. Someone who has seen you at your worst and loves you still. I hope you fall in love with someone who kisses you in the rain and hugs you when you’re cold and wouldn’t have it any other way.
    ~Unknown

  • November 27, 2017
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    There are two kinds of forgiveness. The kind when you forgive and you give them another chance or the kind you forgive but you move on without them. Use them both wisely. S.B.

  • November 27, 2017
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    Eventually…
    you will learn that the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love. So, take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt, because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you will never get back.
    ~Unknown.

  • November 27, 2017
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    “Can I tell you a secret? You don’t have to be in a relationship.

    I mean it. I know they force it down your throat until you choke on it. Girls aren’t pretty unless they’re wanted. Boys aren’t men unless they’re having sex with someone. People aren’t lovable until they’re dating someone. But a relationship won’t always make you happy, and as wonderful as romance is, it isn’t the only love that exists. I have seen friendships that are deeper and more pure than couples who swear it’s forever – and yet the friendship is the one people ignore. I have heard so often “nobody loves me” out of the mouths of people who are single. And it kills me because if you ask them: where are your parents, your teachers, your classmates, your pets – they say, yes, okay, but it doesn’t count. Of course it counts, love doesn’t diminish just because someone doesn’t want to have sex with you. In fact, doesn’t it sort of make that love more real that they want nothing – not even a date – out of you? It is pretty to be in love. It’s magical, I’m sure. But it’s also wonderful to stop for ice cream in your prom dress with six other girls. It’s also wonderful to go visit the world with nothing but a bunch of buddies who are really excited about learning. The problem is: we’ve made everything about “the one”. But maybe “the one” is just you, loving yourself, having fun, and being happy. Maybe instead of looking for our other halves, we should be piecing ourselves together.Maybe I wasn’t born unfinished. Maybe I am the one who makes myself better.”
    — Single serving size

  • November 26, 2017
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    Date someone who is interested in you. I don’t mean someone who thinks you’re cute or funny. I mean someone who wants to know every insignificant detail about you. Someone who wants to read every word you write. Someone who wants hear every note of your favourite song, and watch every scene of your favourite movie. Someone wants to find every scar upon your body, and learn where each one came from. Someone who wants to know your favourite brand of toothpaste, and which quotes resonate deep inside your bones when you hear them. There is a difference between attraction and interest. Find the person who wants to learn every aspect of who you are, and hold onto them.

  • November 26, 2017
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    Only trust someone who can see these three things in you: The sorrow behind your smile, the love behind your anger, and the reason behind your silence.

  • November 26, 2017
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    HERE’S THE THING ABOUT PEOPLE WITH GOOD HEARTS. Here’s the thing about people with good hearts. They give you excuses when you don’t explain yourself. They accept apologies you don’t give. They see the best in you when you don’t need them to. At your worst, they lift you up, even if it means putting their priorities aside. The word “busy” does not exist in their dictionary. They make time, even when you don’t. And you wonder why they’re the most sensitive people. You wonder why they’re the most caring people. You wonder why they are willing to give so much of themselves with no expectation in return. You wonder why their existence is not so essential to your well-being. It’s because they don’t make you work hard for the attention they give you. They accept the love they think they’ve earned and you accepted the love you think you’re entitled to. Let me tell you something. Fear the day when a good heart gives up on you. Our skies don’t become grey out of no where. Our sunshine does not allow the darkness to take over for no reason. A heart does not turn cold unless it’s been treated with coldness for a while.

  • November 26, 2017
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    In a relationship, married or not… YOU SHOULD READ THIS!

    “When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

    Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

    I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

    With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

    The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

    In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

    This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

    I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

    My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

    On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

    On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

    She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

    Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

    Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

    But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

    She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

    That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

    The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

    So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.

    Share this if you wish,

    If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

    ~Unknown

     

  • November 25, 2017
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    Stop breaking your own heart by trying to make a relationship work that clearly isn’t meant to work. You can’t force someone to care about you. You can’t force someone to be loyal. You can’t force someone to be the person you need them to be. Sometimes the person you want most is the person you’re best without. You got to understand some things are meant to happen, but just not meant to be. Some things are meant to come in your life, just not meant to stay. Don’t lose yourself by trying to fix what’s meant to stay broken. You can’t get the relationship you need from someone who’s not ready to give it to you. And you might not understand WHY NOW, but I promise you, your future will always bring understanding of why things didn’t work out. TRUST ME. Don’t put your happiness on hold for someone who isn’t holding on to you. Some chapters just have to close without closure. Straight up.
    ~Trent Shelton

  • November 25, 2017
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    Marriage is about becoming a team. You’re going to spend the rest of your life learning about each other, and every now and then, things blow up. But the beauty of marriage is that if you picked the right person and you both love each other, you’ll always figure out a way to get through it. ~ Nicholas Sparks

  • November 25, 2017
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    Stay true to yourself. Don’t worry about what people think of you or about the way they try to make you feel. If people want to see you as a good person, they will. If they want to see you as a bad person, absolutely nothing you do will stop them. Ironically, the more you try to show them your good intentions, the more reason you give them to knock you down if they are commited to misunderstanding you. Keep your head up high and be confident in what you do. Be confident in your intentions and keep your eyes ahead instead of wasting your time on those who want to drag you back. Because you can’t change people’s views, you have to believe that true change for yourself comes from within you, not from anyone else.  ~ Najwa Zebian

  • November 25, 2017
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    This goes out to all of the people who have been broken but have been strong enough to let go. For the people who have hurt so badly that they felt they could never love again, but kept their head up. For those who feel like going back to their old lover to put all the pieces back where they belong in hopes everything would fit, but accept the cold hard truth instead. For the people that learn from their mistakes and never stop moving forward, even when they take two steps back. For the people that wish loneliness wasn’t a part of them, but put up with it anyhow. For the people who come home with no missed calls, but smile anyway. For the people that periodically miss the past, but are so much more excited for the future. For the people that have wounds still healing. For the people that have so much tied to their past relationship, but break those chains to start fresh. For the people that want to look back so badly, but focus on the road ahead. For the people that pick up the phone so tempted to call, but keep their dignity intact instead. For the people that never wanted to let go, but had to. For the people that still believe in love even after all of the hurt their heart has endured. For all the people that gave up not because they were weak, but because most times it’s better just to let go.

  • November 24, 2017
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    Sometimes, the people who have been through many storms often take the longest to find their path because their sensitivity is a double edged sword- at their core lies great strength but they are more susceptible to life’s pains. Good thing the soul doesn’t know a thing about deadlines.

    ~Unknown

  • November 24, 2017
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    I want to thank the people who make my life happy in so many ways. Sometimes I forget to tell them how much I really do appreciate them for being an important part of my life. So thank you, all of you, just for being here for.

  • November 24, 2017
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    The world is filled with people who, no matter what you do, no matter what you try, will simply not like you. But the world is also filled with those who will love you fiercely. The ones who love you they are Your People. Don’t waste your finite time and heart trying to convince the people who aren’t your people that you have value. They will miss it completely. They won’t buy what you are selling. Don’t try to convince them to walk your path with you because you will only waste your time and your emotional good health. You are not for them and they are not for you. You are not their cup of tea and they are not yours. Politely wave them along and you move away as well. Seek to share your path with those who recognize and appreciate your gifts, who you are. Be who you are. You are not everyone’s cup of tea and that is OK.

  • November 24, 2017
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    “Marry your best friend. Marry someone who you wouldn’t mind waking up to every day for the rest of your life. The one who makes you glad to be alive. Marry someone who drives you crazy. The one who frustrates you. The one who calms you. Marry the one you don’t mind fighting with, because they will be fair about it. Don’t marry someone who gives their ego more importance, than they give you. Marry someone who makes you the best version of yourself. The one who believes in you, even when you don’t. The one who stands by you, through thick and thin. Marry someone you can’t imagine your life without. Marry the one you are insanely in love with. And the one who is insanely in love with you. Marry the one who knows what you want to say, when you’re too tired to say it with words. The one you can spend comfortable silences with from time to time. Marry your soul mate. Marry your best friend.”

  • November 23, 2017
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    Fall in love with someone who wants you, who waits for you, who understands you. Someone who helps you, and guides you, someone who is your support, your hope. Fall in love with someone who talks with you after a fight. Fall in love with someone who misses you and wants to be with you. Do not fall in love only with a body or with a face; or with the idea of being in love.

  • November 23, 2017
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    My favourite kind of friendship is one where there’s a mutual understanding of the fact that we both have our own lives so we won’t be able to talk or hang out all the time but when we do talk or hang out it’s like picking up right where we left off.

  • November 23, 2017
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    LETTER FROM A MOTHER TO A DAUGHTER:

    “My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”… Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep.
    When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?

    When you see how slow I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way… remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day… the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.

    If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you.

    And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked.

    When those days come, don’t feel sad… just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love.

    I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you… my darling daughter.”

    – Unknown,

  • November 23, 2017
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    It’s really painful to say goodbye to someone that you don’t want to let go of, but it’s even more painful to hold on to them if they never wanted to stay in the first place. If someone doesn’t show you the same love that you show them, and acts as if you are unimportant most of the time, this may be a big clue as to the fact that you don’t need them in your life either. The only people you truly need in your life are those who respect you and want you to be in theirs.

  • November 22, 2017
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    You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart. Someone who can help you reach your dreams and who can protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws. You should be with someone who can make you happy, really happy, dancing-on-air happy. Someone who should have taken the chance to be with you years ago instead of becoming scared and being too afraid to try.
    Cecelia Ahern

  • November 22, 2017
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    People who defend your name when you’re not around are the most loyal friends you could ever get.

  • November 22, 2017
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    Life goes by in the blink of an eye. It’s too short to live upset, angry, resentful or ungrateful. If you look for the good, you’ll find it. Choose to be happy, to be at peace. Decide that each day is going to be a great day and grab each moment and make the best of it. Refuse to let negative thoughts take root in your mind and refuse to let negative people and situations drag you down. Trust your journey and know that if you make a mistake, it’s okay. See it as a lesson learned and keep moving forward. Spend less time worrying and more time being grateful for those who love you and all of life’s goodness. Choose to live in joy!
    ~―Charity M. Richey-Bentley

    https://www.facebook.com/TheHorseMafia/

  • November 22, 2017
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    HOW OUR HEARTS ARE CHANGED BY BETRAYAL

     

    You haven’t always been this way.

    You haven’t always been a body lined with thorns, a heart wrapped in razor wire; hard lines and jaded eyes.

    Distant, aloof, guarded.

    There was a time you were shades of pastel; when your heart knew love, and trust rested freely upon your fingertips.

    There was a time your days were painted with innocence. Where eager eyes gazed at the world with hope and wonder, your heart still shiny and new.

    But all of this changed the moment you were betrayed by someone you loved. Someone you trusted. Someone who should have protected you. Someone who hurt you instead. Someone who allowed you to be hurt by others.

    There is little else that shatters a heart as much as the pain of betrayal. It tears you open, rips your heart out of your chest. You don’t want to put it back, you want to leave it on the floor to bleed until there is nothing left, until the blood runs dry and you no longer have to feel a damn thing anymore. But you can’t. You have to go on. So you pick your heart off the floor and place it back inside your hollow chest.

    Except, the heart that you put back is never the same heart. It is wounded, war-torn. It no longer seeks love, but only to protect itself from the pain of ever being betrayed again.

    A heart that is betrayed is changed forever.

    No longer will it trust anyone again, but greets every person with reservation and fear; wary of a world that has proven to only take advantage for its own benefit. It remains hyper-vigilant in its desperate need to prove itself right; forever searching for the cracks inside another person that prove they too are unworthy of trust. It needs to know its enemy. It needs to remain one step in front at all times. Kindness is met with suspicion, for your heart has learned nothing comes without a cost – there are always strings, always an agenda. Your heart rejects kindness, remains cynical of it, refuses to accept it. It would rather suffer on its own than accept kindness that allows it to become vulnerable to another.

    Your heart no longer knows how to trust itself either, and it makes vows to stay hard, to stay tough. Never will I want again. Never will I need again. Never will I trust again. Never will I love again. These vows are the cornerstones of the fortress it builds around itself, the strongholds that keep the walls in place. It gives up hope of ever being protected and instead learns to protect itself. It becomes a slave to its independence, its autonomy. Here, in its fortress, it is safe. Here, behind its walls, it can remain distant, removed.

    Here, your heart can trust itself not to feel. 

    For betrayal has taught your heart how dangerous it is to feel. To want, to need. To desire love, relationship, connection. No, your heart must deaden itself to its desires. It must wake each morning with one goal of attack – to kill your hungry soul. To destroy your desires before they destroy you. Your heart cannot afford to want, it is too dangerous, too much of a risk that will lead to being hurt again. This is how your heart stays safe – it refuses to be tempted by love ever again.

    Except, your heart was created for relationship. Your heart was created for intimacy. But intimacy is the enemy, the biggest threat. Intimacy requires your heart to be vulnerable, to let someone close. To betray its own desires in the hope it will not be betrayed because of them. Intimacy is the most dangerous of all, and your heart turns itself away and chooses to live without hope of relationship, of closeness, of oneness with another.

    Betrayal has changed your heart.

    It has damaged your heart.

    It has left it powerless, helpless, vulnerable, wounded, damaged, guarded, broken. Your heart can no longer trust, does not trust. It no longer believes in the goodness of anyone else’s heart. It no longer believes it is worthy of being loved, of being protected. It is tired from living in a constant state of anticipation and expectation that it will be hurt and betrayed once more. It no longer wants to love, no longer knows how to love. It has become numb, deadened to its desires, and you tell yourself you are content with this.

    That here, you are safe. You are in control. You are untouchable.

    Except, you are lonely. So goddamn lonely.

    And this is the paradox of betrayal.

    You are scared of relationship, yet relationship is the very thing that will heal your heart.

    Dear heart, there is a need for you to be safe.

    But there is a greater need for you to be loved.

    The only way to heal is through love. You must find the courage to pull down your fortress. It has kept you safe. But you have dwelled long enough in your solitude. In your loneliness. It is time to lay down your weapons. Surrender is not defeat, but the end of the fight.

    To love is to risk hurt. To trust is to risk betrayal. But you must risk so that you may heal.

    Your heart has learned how to stay safe, how to survive.

    Now, it must learn how to once again love.

    Written by Kathy Parker

    ( with permission)

    Find out more about Kathy at her blog: https://kathyparker.com.au/

  • November 21, 2017
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    “Fall in love with someone who wants you, who waits for you, who understands you. Someone who helps you, and guides you, someone who is your support, your hope. Fall in love with someone who talks with you after a fight. Fall in love with someone who misses you and wants to be with you. Do not fall in love only with a body or with a face; or with the idea of being in love”

    ~Unknown

  • November 21, 2017
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    If I love you, I won’t give up easily. Leaving is my last option, but if you push me away I will walk away knowing I gave it my all.

  • November 21, 2017
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    “You don’t ever have to tolerate people who treat you poorly. It doesn’t matter if it’s a friend, a family member, or a partner. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known them for or how nice they may have been to you in the past — you’re allowed to call people out on their abusive behavior. You’re allowed to set boundaries about what you are and are not willing to tolerate. You’re allowed to vocalize how their abuse makes you feel. You’re allowed to share those feelings and experiences with other people. And if necessary, you’re allowed to leave and distance yourself. You have every right to stand up and say: “I love you and I really want you to be a part of my life, but I can’t continue to allow you to treat me this way. So if things don’t change, I’m going to have to cut you out of my life. Not because I don’t care about you or respect you, but because I care about and respect myself.””
    — Daniell Koepke

  • November 21, 2017
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    Stop trying to change someone who doesn’t want to change. Stop giving chances to someone who abuses your forgiveness. Stop walking back to the place where your heart ran from. Stop trusting their words and ignoring their action. Stop giving your all to a person who gives you nothing. Stop fighting for a RELATIONSHIP when you’re standing in the ring alone. Stop breaking your own heart.

    ~Trent Shelton.

  • November 21, 2017
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    Moving on and getting over someone is one of the hardest things you have to do in life. Especially if it’s with someone you saw your future with.So you have to move on the right way. Get your closure from them and tell them everything you ever wanted to tell them, how much you love them, how much you hate them, etc. So you will have no regrets or what ifs. Then tell them goodbye forever. If they let you leave without a fight for you, then they’re not worth it anyways. It’s going to hurt like hell. Allow yourself to be sad. To be angry. But you have to wake up every day and continue your life without them. It’s always easier said than done. So just let time heal your wounds. This is a time for you to heal. To take care of your heart. One day you will wake up and you won’t miss them anymore.
    ~Unknown

  • November 20, 2017
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    Find someone that isn’t afraid to admit they miss you. Someone that knows you’re not perfect but treats you as if you are. Someone who couldn’t imagine losing you. Someone who gives their heart to you completely. Someone who says I love you and proves it. Last but not least, find someone who wouldn’t mind waking up to you in the morning, seeing your wrinkles and grey hair but still falls in love with you all over again.
    ~Unknown

  • November 20, 2017
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    Missing someone isn’t about how long since you’ve seen them or the amount of time you’ve talked to them. It’s about that very moment when you’re doing something and wishing they were right there with you.

  • November 20, 2017
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    I don’t have an amazing figure or a flat stomach. I’m far from being considered a model but, I’m me. I eat food. I have curves. I have more fat than I should. I have scars because I have a history. Some people love me, some like me, some hate me. I have done good. I have done bad. I love my Pj’s and I go without makeup and sometimes don’t get my hair done. I’m random and sometimes I say crazy things. I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not. I am who I am, you can love me or not. I won’t change! And if I love you…I do it with all my Heart! I will make no apologies for who I am.

  • November 20, 2017
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    Life has taught me that you can’t control someone’s loyalty. No matter how good you are to them, doesn’t mean that they will treat you the same. No matter how much they mean to you, doesn’t mean that they’ll value you the same. Sometimes the people you love the most, turn out to be the people you can trust the least.

    ~Trent Shelton

  • November 20, 2017
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    When two souls fall in love, there is nothing else but the yearning to be close to the other. The presence is felt through a held hand, a voice heard and the sight of a smile. Even through a simple touch. Souls do not have calendars or clocks, nor do they understand the notion of time or distance. They only know it feels right to be with one another. This is the reason why you miss someone so much when they are not around. Your soul feels their absence— it doesn’t realize the separation is temporary.
    ~ Lang Leav

  • November 19, 2017
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    Find someone that isn’t afraid to admit they miss you. Someone that knows you’re not perfect but treats you as if you are. Someone who couldn’t imagine losing you. Someone who gives their heart to you completely. Someone who says I love you and proves it. Last but not least, find someone who wouldn’t mind waking up to you in the morning, seeing your wrinkles and grey hair but still falls in love with you all over again.
    ~Unknown

  • November 19, 2017
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    One of the hardest things you will ever have to do, my dear, is to grieve the loss of a person who is still alive.

  • November 19, 2017
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    Remember this because it will happen many times in your life. When people show you who they are the first time believe them. Not the 29th. time. When a man doesn’t call you back the first time, when you are mistreated the first time, when someone shows you lack of integrity or dishonesty the first time, know that this will be followed many many other times, that will some point in life come back to haunt or hurt you. Live your life in truth. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. You will survive anything if you live your life from the point of view of truth.
    ~Maya Angelou

  • November 10, 2017
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    When I give, it does not come with strings. I’m not keeping track of what you owe me. When I give, I choose to do so without ulterior motives. I give because I’m genuine. I give because I know what it’s like to be without, to long for and be ignored, to speak and not be heard, to care for and have nothing returned. When I give it’s because I get it. It’s because I know the value in what I have in my heart and I refuse to let the world stop me from sharing that. But when things start being taken for granted. When you no longer appreciate my sincerity. I won’t switch, I won’t get angry, and I won’t be spiteful. I’ll just get smart and I’ll change your role in my life. Because when I give, I’m all in. But when I’m done, there’s no looking back. — Robert Hill Sr.

  • November 10, 2017
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    Those Top 37 Things You’ll Regret When You’re Old.

    1. Not traveling when you had the chance.

    Traveling becomes infinitely harder the older you get, especially if you have a family and need to pay the way for three-plus people instead of just yourself.

    2. Not learning another language.

    You’ll kick yourself when you realize you took three years of language in high school and remember none of it.

    3. Staying in a bad relationship.

    No one who ever gets out of a bad relationship looks back without wishing they made the move sooner.

    4. Forgoing sunscreen.

    Wrinkles, moles, and skin cancer can largely be avoided if you protect yourself.

    5. Missing the chance to see your favorite musicians.

    “Nah, dude, I’ll catch Nirvana next time they come through town.” Facepalm.

    6. Being scared to do things.

    Looking back you’ll think, What was I so afraid of?

    7. Failing to make physical fitness a priority.

    Too many of us spend the physical peak of our lives on the couch. When you hit 40, 50, 60, and beyond, you’ll dream of what you could have done.

    8. Letting yourself be defined by gender roles.

    Few things are as sad as an old person saying, “Well, it just wasn’t done back then.”

    9. Not quitting a terrible job.

    Look, you gotta pay the bills. But if you don’t make a plan to improve your situation, you might wake up one day having spent 40 years in hell.

    10. Not trying harder in school.

    It’s not just that your grades play a role in determining where you end up in life. Eventually you’ll realize how neat it was to get to spend all day learning, and wish you’d paid more attention.

    11. Not realizing how beautiful you were.

    Too many of us spend our youth unhappy with the way we look, but the reality is, that’s when we’re our most beautiful.

    12. Being afraid to say “I love you.”

    When you’re old, you won’t care if your love wasn’t returned — only that you made it known how you felt.

    13. Not listening to your parents’ advice.

    You don’t want to hear it when you’re young, but the infuriating truth is that most of what your parents say about life is true.

    14. Spending your youth self-absorbed.

    You’ll be embarrassed about it, frankly.

    15. Caring too much about what other people think.

    In 20 years you won’t give a darn about any of those people you once worried so much about.

    16. Supporting others’ dreams over your own.

    Supporting others is a beautiful thing, but not when it means you never get to shine.

    17. Not moving on fast enough.

    Old people look back at the long periods spent picking themselves off the ground as nothing but wasted time.

    18. Holding grudges, especially with those you love.

    What’s the point of re-living the anger over and over?

    19. Not standing up for yourself.

    Old people don’t take sh*t from anyone. Neither should you.

    20. Not volunteering enough.

    OK, so you probably won’t regret not volunteering Hunger Games style, but nearing the end of one’s life without having helped to make the world a better place is a great source of sadness for many.

    21. Neglecting your teeth.

    Neglecting your teeth.

    Brush. Floss. Get regular checkups. It will all seem so maddeningly easy when you have dentures.

    22. Missing the chance to ask your grandparents questions before they die.

    Most of us realize too late what an awesome resource grandparents are. They can explain everything you’ll ever wonder about where you came from, but only if you ask them in time.

    23. Working too much.

    No one looks back from their deathbed and wishes they spent more time at the office, but they do wish they spent more time with family, friends, and hobbies.

    24. Not learning how to cook one awesome meal.

    Knowing one drool-worthy meal will make all those dinner parties and celebrations that much more special.

    25. Not stopping enough to appreciate the moment.

    Young people are constantly on the go, but stopping to take it all in now and again is a good thing.

    26. Failing to finish what you start.

    Failing to finish what you start.

    “I had big dreams of becoming a nurse. I even signed up for the classes, but then…”

    27. Never mastering one awesome party trick.

    You will go to hundreds, if not thousands, of parties in your life. Wouldn’t it be cool to be the life of them all?

    28. Letting yourself be defined by cultural expectations.

    Letting yourself be defined by cultural expectations.

    Don’t let them tell you, “We don’t do that.”

    29. Refusing to let friendships run their course.

    People grow apart. Clinging to what was, instead of acknowledging that things have changed, can be a source of ongoing agitation and sadness.

    30. Not playing with your kids enough.

    When you’re old, you’ll realize your kid went from wanting to play with you to wanting you out of their room in the blink of an eye.

    31. Never taking a big risk (especially in love).

    Knowing that you took a leap of faith at least once — even if you fell flat on your face — will be a great comfort when you’re old.

    32. Not taking the time to develop contacts and network.

    Networking may seem like a bunch of crap when you’re young, but later on it becomes clear that it’s how so many jobs are won.

    33. Worrying too much.

    As Tom Petty sang, “Most things I worry about never happen anyway.”

    34. Getting caught up in needless drama.

    Who needs it?

    35. Not spending enough time with loved ones.

    Not spending enough time with loved ones.

    Our time with our loved ones is finite. Make it count.

    36. Never performing in front of others.

    This isn’t a regret for everyone, but many elderly people wish they knew — just once — what it was like to stand in front of a crowd and show off their talents.

    37. Not being grateful sooner.

     

    It can be hard to see in the beginning, but eventually it becomes clear that every moment on this earth — from the mundane to the amazing — is a gift that we’re all so incredibly lucky to share.

  • November 9, 2017
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    People wonder why I give so many compliments out to strangers. I’m not being fake and I’m not looking for people to like me. But if I pass someone and I like something, I say it. “Love those shoes!” or “Great hair!” or “Wow your eyes are beautiful!”….why? Because life is hard and this world can be a shitty place, and people are mean. You never know how much those few words mean to someone, you never know what hell they may be going through; and when you put positivity out there into the universe YOU yourself become a happier person. It’s hard to be nice and be miserable yourself. It’ll reflect from the outside in. I’m telling you random compliment giving will change your life; and maybe someone else’s, too. — Jordan Sarah Weatherhead

     

  • November 9, 2017
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    “Maybe some things don’t get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can’t. Maybe some of us will never be fully okay, but at least we’re here. We’re still trying. We’re doing the best we can. That’s worth celebrating too. If you’re reading this, congratulations, you made it to today. You made it.”

  • November 8, 2017
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    “There comes a time in your life when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.”
    — Jose Harris

  • November 8, 2017
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    One day, many years from now when you realize what you’ve lost – you will search for me. 
Perhaps you’ll email me but there’ll be no reply; or maybe you’ll call my number but it will have changed…. And when you give up trying to find me physically, you’ll search for me emotionally. 
You’ll try to find someone else who will love you like I did or make you laugh as much as I used to … but you’ll soon realize there’s nobody else quite like me… I was unique… I was the one for you – and you lost me. And you will try so desperately to find traces of me in every soul you meet for the rest of your days ….but you will never ever find me.
    Ranata Suzuki
  • November 7, 2017
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    Find someone that isn’t afraid to admit they miss you. Someone that knows you’re not perfect but treats you as if you are. Someone who couldn’t imagine losing you. Someone who gives their heart to you completely. Someone who says I love you and proves it. Last but not least, find someone who wouldn’t mind waking up to you in the morning, seeing your wrinkles and grey hair but still falls in love with you all over again.
    ~Unknown

  • November 7, 2017
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    I hope one day you will realize I did truly care for you. I promise you, you will miss me being there, putting up with you, and refusing to give up on you. You’re going to regret everything you’ve done to me, including all the damage you caused. Someday, you’ll look back and wish things could be different. I might have been worthless to you, but I am of great value to myself.~Unknown

  • November 6, 2017
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    I’ve learned from life that sometimes, the darkest times can bring us to the brightest places. That our most painful struggles can grant us the most necessary growth; and that the most heartbreaking losses of friendship and love can make room for the most wonderful people. I’ve learned that what seems like a curse at the moment can actually be a blessing, and that what seems like the end of the road is actually just the discovery that we are meant to travel down a different path. I’ve learned that no matter how difficult things seem, there is always hope. And I’ve learned that no matter how powerless we feel or how horrible things seem, we can’t give up. We have to keep going. Even when it’s scary, even when all of our strength seems gone, we have to keep picking ourselves back up and moving forward, because whatever we’re battling in the moment, it will pass, and we will make it through. We’ve made it this far. We can make it through whatever comes next.
    ~Daniell Keopke

  • November 6, 2017
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    WHEN I CHOSE TO LET YOU GO.

    When I chose to let you go, there was no great moment of triumph.
    There wasn’t an earth-shattering epiphany that changed my life, where music played and the universe conspired to bring everything together for good.

    There was no conflict, no turmoil and no struggle. No internal argument. No weighing of pros and cons. No decision to be analyzed to death—even by me, who cannot make a decision without weeks of obsessive thought over every possible outcome.

    There were only two words, when I chose to let you go:

    No more.

    No more will I measure my worth against your opinion. No more will I be pressed into the shapes you carved for me. No more will I tell my heart to quiet down, ashamed of its clatter. No more will there be blood on my feet from the eggshells I walked on as I tried not to give cause for your disapproval.

    No more will I anguish over the ways you misunderstood me. No more will I fight to justify the intention of my heart. No more will I beg for you to see me, the real me—to know me, to love me.

    No more will I live my life for you.

    When I chose to let you go, there was no holy encounter. The stars did not collapse from the sky and cascade into the oceans. There was no ferocious wind that rattled the walls or blazing fire that consumed all within its destructive path.

    There was only quiet resolution, the silent death of leaves that drift to the ground as frost begins to waste them away.
    And there I found myself, in the barren ground where you once stood; I came to understand there must be winter.

    Winter in all its loss, its grief, its letting go.
    There must be a time for old things to die, that new things may be born.

    When I chose to let you go, it was for me.

    I learned to love myself even when you made me feel I deserved no love. To honor my own needs, my own heart and my own potential. To walk my own path, not yours. To not be pulled back into your confines while my spirit yearned to be free.

    When I chose to let you go, I made coffee, ate toast, and folded clothes. I went to yoga and collected my mail and paid my bills. There was nothing out of place on the outside of my ordinary life—no visible change, nothing new or different.

    There was only surrender.

    One moment.

    One breath.

    I chose to let you go.

    And in doing so, I chose me.

    By Kathy Parker
    (with permission)

    Please check out Kathy’s blog at : https://kathyparker.com.au/

  • November 5, 2017
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    I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what degrades me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal.

    ~Jose Micard Teixeira

  • November 5, 2017
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    “I love you” means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. “I love you” means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me. ~ Jonathan Safran Foer

  • November 4, 2017
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    She doesn’t need expensive gifts. She doesn’t need expensive dinners. I mean sure all of those things would be nice but, all she really needs is you. She needs your listening ear when she is ready to vent. She needs your shoulder to cry on when life gets hard on her. She needs your words of encouragement when she is getting ready to pursue her dreams. She needs to be able to feel safe around you, and know that you have her best interest when it comes to her heart. And if it’s taking her a while to let you in, she isn’t trying to punish you. She just doesn’t want to repeat making the same mistakes she has made in the past of giving a man her all, just to find out that he couldn’t match her effort. Love her genuinely. Love her patiently. Love her passionately. And last but not least, love her consistently and in return, she will love you like you have never been loved before.

  • November 3, 2017
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    At the end of life, what really matters is not what we bought, but what we built; not what we got, but what we shared; not our competence, but our character; and not our success, but our significance. Live a life that matters. Live a life of love.
  • November 2, 2017
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    I have loved. I have lost and I have changed. It has been difficult but I have learned so much from it. I have learned that people can hurt you so deeply and not even worry about you. I learned that good people can change in a minute when their hearts have been broken. I’ve met great people, but mean people as well. But the most important thing I have learned is that every person in this world is strong enough to let go . People come and go and that’s life ! The most important thing is to stand up and realize that you deserve something better than a person who gives up on you. ~Unknown

  • November 2, 2017
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    This is the part of my life where I silently remove myself from anyone who hurts me more than they love me, drains me more than they replenish me, brings me more stress than they do peace, and tries to stunt my growth rather than clap for it. I think that I’ve done more than enough talking and trying to make things work with certain people…I’m done. -Cici.B – The CrimsonKiss

  • November 1, 2017
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    In your lifetime you will find and meet one person who will love you more than anybody you have ever known and will know. They will love you with every bit of energy and soul. They will sacrifice, surrender and give so much that it scares you. Someday you’ll know who that is. Sometimes people realize who it was.

  • November 1, 2017
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    When You’re Forcing Love To Stay Alive, It Isn’t Love Anymore.

     

    Sometimes love is ugly, challenging, frustrating, painful – even in the happiest and strongest of relationships. Love takes work. It takes effort. Love is not always light and pretty. It takes the ability to admit when you’re wrong. It takes dedication, it takes loyalty.
    But there is a difference between fighting for something that you know is too good to let go of, and clinging on to something that has already died.
    Often, deep down, we already know when it’s not love anymore. What it is is familiarity, routine, insurance. It’s something we’ve gotten used to. It’s a security blanket. It’s the guarantee that we aren’t alone. Sometimes the death of love is easier to sense, if we’re with someone who directly makes us incredibly unhappy. And sometimes it’s harder to admit to ourselves, because we’re with someone whom we care about deeply, even if we’re no longer in love with them. But no matter the specific circumstances, we try to convince ourselves that the love is still there, because we’re not ready for the alternative.
    And so we grasp onto it, no matter how much our gut resists, because we’d rather cling to something that is dead than willingly step into a world where we are hurt and alone.
    It’s not a fault really, not a flaw. Just human nature. It is in our bones to want to be with other people. To feel instantly comforted from the touch or the assurance of another human being. To feel actual, physical pain when we stretch out in bed and are once again reminded that there is no longer a warm body in the place next to us.
    But we must remember that there is a difference between forcing love and fighting for it. Forcing love – forcing yourself to feel something – is not love at all. It’s a manufactured emotion your body has created as a coping mechanism, a survival instinct. Forcing love means it’s already dead. And when you spend all your time forcing yourself to love someone, you miss the opportunity to fight for the person who really sets your soul on fire. The choice isn’t easy, but at least it’s yours.

    Written by Kim Quindlen

    This article was originally published in thoughtcatalog.com

    Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/kimberlyquindlen

  • November 1, 2017
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    Here’s The Kind Of Relationship You Should Wait For.

    Wait for a relationship that is filled with goodness but that is completely imperfect – so that you can understand and experience how much better love is when it’s real and human as opposed to perfect and flawless.

    Wait for a relationship that makes you want more for yourself, because you’re with someone who believes in you so much that they’re never going to let you settle into a comfort zone when they know you could be going so much further. Wait for the person who encourages you and constantly challenges you, without ever making you feel like you’re not good enough or that you’re unworthy of love.

    Wait for a relationship that teaches you how to fight the right way. A relationship that shows you that you don’t have to yell and scream and say hurtful things to protect yourself, but that you also don’t have to bury your feelings and sweep everything under the rug in order to be part of something ‘healthy.’ Wait for the relationship that shows you it’s okay to fight, as long as you do it the right way – meaning you express your feelings and your own pain, but you also willingly listen to the things you might be doing wrong, too.

    Wait for a relationship that makes you calm. The kind of relationship where just having them by your side makes you feel more at peace and more steady.

    Wait for the relationship that makes you think in a different way than you ever have before, but without ever losing sight of yourself and of who you are. Wait for the person who shows you a whole other world without ever trying to force their way of thinking onto you. Wait for the person who teaches you things and wants you to teach them, too.

    Wait for a relationship that makes you care about other stuff less. Not the important stuff – just the stupid stuff that causes you to waste so much energy worrying about nothing. Wait for the relationship that helps you to stop thinking about status and self-importance and image and brand and all those other awful concepts. Wait for the relationship that makes you feel like a thousand pounds have been lifted off your chest as soon as you see how silly most things really are.

    Wait for a relationship that scares you. But only in the sense that it makes you aware of just how big and how fragile your heart can get. Wait for the relationship that shows you that vulnerability can still feel really wonderful, even when it feels scary.

    Wait for the relationship that makes you feel more like yourself than you ever have before. The relationship that brings out pieces of you that you’ve always wanted to come alive, and the person who makes you feel safe enough to just be you. Wait for the relationship that gives you this beautiful gift, and you will never regret a single second.

    Written by Kim Quindlen

    (with permission)

    This article was originally published in thoughtcatalog.com

    Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/kimberlyquindlen

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