To encourage you to keep going.
To remind you to be strong.

Archive for October, 2017

  • October 15, 2017
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    If you’re going to fall in love with me, don’t fall in love with my Sunday best. Don’t fall in love with the way I look after spending hours getting ready or my fakest smile or freshly done hair. Fall in love with my body, the way it widens quite a lot around my hips and how I will never have the perfect figure and how I honestly don’t really care. Fall in love with my impatience, my jealous moods and the times that I don’t feel anything at all and fall in love with how sometimes I act like a child while other times I can be the most mature. Fall in love with my scars, my marks, and all the things that makes me far less than perfect and fall in love with all that I consider a flaw. Fall in love with me as a whole or don’t fall in love with me at all.

  • October 15, 2017
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    On the day I die.

    On the day I die a lot will happen.
    A lot will change.
    The world will be busy.

    On the day I die, all the important appointments I made will be left unattended.
    The many plans I had yet to complete will remain forever undone.
    The calendar that ruled so many of my days will now be irrelevant to me.
    All the material things I so chased and guarded and treasured will be left in the hands of others to care for or to discard.

    The words of my critics which so burdened me will cease to sting or capture anymore. They will be unable to touch me.
    The arguments I believed I’d won here will not serve me or bring me any satisfaction or solace.
    All my noisy incoming notifications and texts and calls will go unanswered. Their great urgency will be quieted.

    My many nagging regrets will all be resigned to the past, where they should have always been anyway.
    Every superficial worry about my body that I ever labored over; about my waistline or hairline or frown lines, will fade away.
    My carefully crafted image, the one I worked so hard to shape for others here, will be left to them to complete anyway.
    The sterling reputation I once struggled so greatly to maintain will be of little concern for me anymore.

    All the small and large anxieties that stole sleep from me each night will be rendered powerless.
    The deep and towering mysteries about life and death that so consumed my mind will finally be clarified in a way that they could never be before while I lived.
    These things will certainly all be true on the day that I die.

    Yet for as much as will happen on that day, one more thing that will happen.
    On the day I die, the few people who really know and truly love me will grieve deeply.
    They will feel a void.
    They will feel cheated.
    They will not feel ready.
    They will feel as though a part of them has died as well.
    And on that day, more than anything in the world they will want more time with me.
    I know this from those I love and grieve over.

    And so knowing this, while I am still alive I’ll try to remember that my time with them is finite and fleeting and so very precious—and I’ll do my best not to waste a second of it.

    I’ll try not to squander a priceless moment worrying about all the other things that will happen on the day I die, because many of those things are either not my concern or beyond my control.

    Friends, those other things have an insidious way of keeping you from living even as you live; vying for your attention, competing for your affections.
    They rob you of the joy of this unrepeatable, uncontainable, ever-evaporating Now with those who love you and want only to share it with you.

    Don’t miss the chance to dance with them while you can.
    It’s easy to waste so much daylight in the days before you die.
    Don’t let your life be stolen every day by all that you believe matters, because on the day you die, much of it simply won’t.

    Yes, you and I will die one day.
    But before that day comes: let us live..

    ~ John Pavlovitz

  • October 15, 2017
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    26

    I’ve learned from life that sometimes, the darkest times can bring us to the brightest places. That our most painful struggles can grant us the most necessary growth; and that the most heartbreaking losses of friendship and love can make room for the most wonderful people. I’ve learned that what seems like a curse at the moment can actually be a blessing, and that what seems like the end of the road is actually just the discovery that we are meant to travel down a different path. I’ve learned that no matter how difficult things seem, there is always hope. And I’ve learned that no matter how powerless we feel or how horrible things seem, we can’t give up. We have to keep going. Even when it’s scary, even when all of our strength seems gone, we have to keep picking ourselves back up and moving forward, because whatever we’re battling in the moment, it will pass, and we will make it through. We’ve made it this far. We can make it through whatever comes next.
    ~Daniell Keopke

  • October 7, 2017
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    It’s a hard pill to swallow. But the truth is going to heal your heart a lot faster than simply letting it break over and over until you finally face what you knew all along anyway:

    If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you.

    There are a million possible scenarios here. It’s easier when he’s an asshole – selfish, only thinking of himself, using you to make someone else jealous, using you in general, treating you poorly, crushing you thoughtlessly, whatever. But it’s a lot harder when he’s a good guy, and you still have to let him go. When he tells you that you’re an incredible person, but he just doesn’t feel the same way that you do. Or when he really likes you, but doesn’t think you’re the one. Or when he just doesn’t feel as strongly as you do and he wants to be honest. Or when he can’t seem to make up his mind and feels confused, which he doesn’t yet realize just means that he’s afraid of hurting you, that feeling ‘confused’ just a softer way of eventually saying ‘no.’ If he wanted to be with you, he wouldn’t have had to make up his mind in the first place. It would just be an answer that he felt deeply in his gut.

    But regardless, whether he’s a wonderful guy or an asshole or somewhere in between, this is about you, moving on. Because no matter what the situation was, no matter how well he treated you or how much fun you had together or how well you got along, he doesn’t want to be with you. And that’s the truth. And that’s going to be your life raft for the next several weeks or months, no matter how much you don’t want to grab onto it. It is what is going to eventually help you come to peace with the end of your relationship, or the fizzling out of your fling, or the ‘no more talking’ after you guys spent so much time ‘talking.’ It is the truth, and as ugly as it is, it will be the only thing that can help you move on:

    If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you.

    It’s easy to try to soften the blow. He needs time, or he just needs a little space, or he’s just afraid of commitment and I just need to reassure him, or he builds walls and it’s my job to kick through them.

    But think about the way you feel about him. How easy and natural and obvious it feels. How you don’t even need to question whether or not you should be with him, because it just feels right in your veins. How, even if you were scared of committing to someone or getting hurt or opening yourself up, you were still willing to do it, because your heart had already made up your mind. You wanted to be with him, so you were. The decision was simple. It really wasn’t even a decision at all.

    Now can you imagine feeling all those things but choosing not to be with him anyway?

    That’s why your heart is broken. Because he didn’t feel those things. He didn’t feel that same certainty that you did, deep in your bones. And you can’t change that, and you can’t fix yourself, and there’s nothing you did wrong. It’s just the truth. His heart didn’t make the decision for his brain, because his heart is in a different place from yours. And that really, really sucks. And you just have to accept it. And that sucks even more.

    Maybe you’ll get over this in weeks, maybe months. Maybe longer. It will hurt, some days will be horrible and some will be okay. But the smallest of silver linings is this: you can let your heart break once – instead of breaking it a million times by convincing yourself that he’s making a mistake or he probably misses you or you should call him. Love yourself enough to be hard on yourself:

    If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you.

    Written by Kim Quindlen (with permission)

    This article was originally published in thoughtcatalog.com

  • October 7, 2017
    11
    9

    I do not help my wife.

    A friend came to my house for coffee, we sat and talked about life. At some point in the conversation, I said, “I’m going to wash the dishes and I’ll be right back.”

    He looked at me as if I had told him I was going to build a space rocket. Then he said to me with admiration but a little perplexed: “I’m glad you help your wife, I do not help because when I do, my wife does not praise me. Last week I washed the floor and no thanks.”

    I went back to sit with him and explained that I did not “help” my wife. Actually, my wife does not need help, she needs a partner. I am a partner at home and through that society are divided functions, but it is not a “help” to do household chores.

    I do not help my wife clean the house because I live here too and I need to clean it too.

    I do not help my wife to cook because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.

    I do not help my wife wash the dishes after eating because I also use those dishes.

    I do not help my wife with her children because they are also my children and my job is to be a father.

    I do not help my wife to wash, spread or fold clothes, because the clothes are also mine and my children.

    I am not a help at home, I am part of the house. And as for praising, I asked my friend when it was the last time after his wife finished cleaning the house, washing clothes, changing bed sheets, bathing her children, cooking, organizing, etc. You said thank you

    But a thank you of the type: Wow, sweetheart !!! You are fantastic!!!

    Does that seem absurd to you? Are you looking strange? When you, once in a lifetime, cleaned the floor, you expected in the least, a prize of excellence with great glory … why? You never thought about that, my friend?

    Maybe because for you, the macho culture has shown that everything is her job.

    Perhaps you have been taught that all this must be done without having to move a finger? Then praise her as you wanted to be praised, in the same way, with the same intensity. Give her a hand, behave like a true companion, not as a guest who only comes to eat, sleep, bathe and satisfy needs … Feel at home. In his house.

    The real change of our society begins in our homes, let us teach our sons and daughters the real sense of fellowship! ”

    -unknown

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